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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Wit Crack'
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Eyes Of Tammy Faye, The (2021) 
It's cold on facts and quick with details. Two fascinating humans aligning to make the world a better place for themselves, remain enigmas. They let go of reality and rode a magic horse to success. Magic horses need water so they steal some from neighboring lands. Lands dry up and competitors get suspicious. Jessica has brilliant moments when spiritually linked to the original but defaults to herself when Tammy Faye does nothing spectacular. There was no Faye spin on song or yell. Jessica completed a very difficult job. Andrew Garfield instantly reminded me of the Jim Bakker I thought I forgot. He was excellent. What happened with the kids? 13-Jan-2022
Red Notice fulfills "land of magic" type escapism. The writers created an intriguing caper and an enigmatic cast to play act it. Gal Gadot can act. Well. Daddy King Rock delighted in being the brunt of a joke, constantly, in fabulous fashion. Dickwad Reynolds steals it by being a cantankerous benevolent criminal who is also Deadpool. The director took advantage of its DCU historical significance and developed some solid characters. Heart tug. 11-Jan-2022
I can't identify with a child that wakes his parents up so daddy can walk him to the latrine which is terrifyingly one block away. To piss. Why didn't he just piss in any corner of the house except where mama hangs laundry? It debates whether parents should compromise a boy's sensitivity by forcing him to become a man if the times deem it necessary. It's a future where woke people are forced to eat animals named Fluffy to survive. Suicidal grandpa daddy grants himself an early reprieve by getting a conscious in between bouts of "I don't give a shit! and "I want to die!" Daddy did not deserve a vacation. Mother madness is spooky with minimal slaps and torture towards children. She did good with killing animals, though. I didn't understand it. "The monster is made of trees, branches and bad lighting, maybe. You imagined the whole thing. You're just like us. Nuts." The child riled us up but the director couldn't give us a reason for any of it. 08-Jan-2022
Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021) 
Venom is nothing without that spider boy splitting his ass in half. How fortunate that Tom Hardy has a dick-breaking ass. Venom's and Tom's duality don't combine. There are attempts to bring them together but talking to green screens is all it is. I imagined a wraparound as opposed to a pop out. I was aghast at how youthful and beautiful Mira Sorvino looked then realized with humiliation that it was Michelle Williams. Michelle got rid of the haughty accents, loosens up and shakes her sourpuss. Reid Scott was a supportive adorable dunce. I thought Stephen Graham was a Walhlberg doing a bad imitation of a better Wahlberg. Woody Harrelson was channeling an old white woman from the 1950's out on her last stroll. Go nuts, daddy! The film has no purpose except to destroy and sell but it has stupid entertainment value. I liked Asian Venom, they gave us a hint at Lady Venom and didn't dare realize a Drag Queen Venom. Why not? 07-Jan-2022
A comet is heading towards earth, we're all going to die and the writer thought this premise would be hilarious. It isn't. Scientists get embroiled in proving their findings, alerting the public and getting mixed signals from the government. Leo chomps through it like there's a better film in his head. Jennifer's headpiece was of the superhero ilk but her character was plain Jane. Jonah was ready to grand theft the whole shebang but the words were no prize. The President is too glamorized and fussy. You know who would have made a good President? Meryl Streep. The real one, stripped of vanity and silliness. A straight shooter. I did not know it was Cate Blanchett until she let her hair down. Good for her. There are "Network" references, "Melancholia" acknowledgements and Animal Channel clips. The one joke makes it claustrophobic. Character emotions belong in an asylum. Asides are treated as such and have little relevance to the whole. The threat of death is hilarious? Yes, for the suicidal. 24-Dec-2021
No one should be interested in a man that has left their love waiting at the altar three times. It labels the neglected, a doormat. Robin Williams is the Professor that discovers Flubber. Flubber is a squishy jello substance that appears animal except when it's being materialized as a money making substance. No one dies when hit by a fastball, brains don't get smashed when hit by bowling balls. The film thinks it's funny to apply the same stitches to both. Death is the realistic word. Weebo is a sexy pitched robot that sparks jealousy. Robots and emotions are confusing. We are not of the experienced mind to buy it. Robin is the sad guy who gets left, not the ass clown with regrets. Williams' sweetness permeates, creativity enervates but the story has no gas. 20-Dec-2021
At no point do we believe we are anywhere but in a M Knight nightmare. Occurrences collide so speedily that we don't have time to absorb them. M Knight believes that getting old is life's worst irony but he doesn't explore why. His fear limited him. Women return to screaming, black men are fast-food, disheveled beauty hurts, Bernal's legs are perfect and children fuck. I didn't understand it and didn't want to. It's a free blowjob in a foreign country with too many rules to find release. 14-Dec-2021
Borat Subsequent Moviefilm (2020)
Except for the ball period sketch everything in Bruno 2 is tamer. No other scenario matched the brilliance of capturing rich people's horrified faces at watching a reality drenched tampon commercial. It was the biggest laugh. The main two pushed their talents to the max but no super crazy shit was allowed. 02-Dec-2021
The film describes a violent female as a failed mother/wife/child whose rage needs to be re-directed towards a profit. A killer that knows when to stop is a champion. They don't fight to save the world but themselves. Halle's fighter is homeless, negative and miserable. She keeps her feelings Eastwood. The boy's tongue was cut because he was either a lousy actor or the audience doesn't need to hear a black boy speak. Hispanics inherit black male stereotypes. Lesbian and mama were ready to sparkle but were given little illumination. It piles cliches without original thinking. I kept hoping she was a secretary with a hot lesbian boss. At least she would have been cute. 28-Nov-2021
Scoob wasted little time visiting memory lane. Shaggy almost lost me when he ate the meat that Scooby dragged across the city's streets. Shaggy's voice doesn't crack enough. Scooby's diction has cleared up and he's become an Avenger. The visits from neighboring toons are a nice touch but are not properly integrated into the Scooby mythology. It's origins taught kids how to unmask the monsters in their lives and fight back. The movie missed that point. They sure were cute, though. 28-Nov-2021
Shang-Chi & The Legend of Ten Rings (2021)
It opens with a sober mythological tale. The action sequences lift our feet off the floor. Awkafina is refreshing. She makes corny scenarios funny. Simu Liu is a ripped pocket ass kicker. The story crumbles when daddy issues arise and Marvel wokeness and grandstanding are inserted. Motivations are vague, the writing can't keep up with the tech and by the end, the movement becomes an oncoming train. 21-Nov-2021
Daddy K suffers tragedy. He loses family members in unison. Frankenstein is the science that can revive them. Our favorite thing about Keanu is his uncomfortable meter. Papi looks uncomfortable and that's great. It makes you want to spit shine his doorknob so he can calm down. Robots don't cut it, emotions don't transfer, I fell asleep, rewound, sobered up and still didn't get it. 08-Nov-2021
Margot Robbie can't queef a joyous Harley, Joel Kinnaman misplaced his acting capabilities and Nathan Fillion can't squish anymore. Pete Davidson came and went, Viola gave it more than it deserved and the whole was obliterated by Cena and his tighty whites. The film has guts. it needs them to deal with an army of superhero ninnies. 02-Nov-2021
Boy genius, pal robot and single mom move to a new town. Boy makes friends, robot becomes creepy but boy finds "where his heart ought to be." Bullies, pranks, killings and deaths erase his best friend and "where his heart ought to be." He puts the robot chip into girl brain and revives her, except "where his heart ought to be" is hollow. She is overprotective, wifed and destructive. There is no balance as to which mentality is winning. She's a killer robot. The movie's charms outweighed its incomprehension. Anne Ramsey rained Halloween as a tormented neighbor who hated everybody. Matthew Laborteaux kept things hairy. Kristy Swanson kept things calm. Wes Craven signed it. The basketball was everything. It's stupid trash with enough bits of imagination to create enjoyment. 20-Oct-2021
Latino violates fancy woman in front of her uppity husband. Fancy woman lets her guard down and enjoys it. Male toxicity ensues. Several accounts of the rape and murder are presented. Paul Newman was a distraction as a blue-eyed Mexican bandit, with a hulk wig, "grande" dick, grease paint and an "I hate gringos" accent. Most of the actors didn't conquer southern speech. Capt. Kirk played a priest that spoke words as if Shakespeare had written them specifically for him. All the versions add up to a hilarious finale that shouldn't have been. 12-Oct-2021
