Latin spunk, sense of adventure, poop songs, fart swamps, cousin flirtations, CGI friends and city ineptitude. It's Dora The Explorer. The parents (Pena/Longoria) are cute but their exploration days seem limited to the couch and looking for leftover Tostitos to finish off their guacamole dip. Nancy Pelosi makes the most of her cameo by surprising as a jungle witch. (I kid.) It qualifies as a most craptacular stupid thing that makes a sad heart laugh. 25-Oct-2020

A journalist joins the sex trade in an effort to expose the leading traffickers in their country. She meanders, manipulates, swags, snitches and avoids having sex. The men are crime kings who grab it, beat it, sell it, crumple it up and dump it (usually underground.) The suspense is agonizing because the hurt is real and we can't do much about it. It's "Cuties" horrifyingly grown up. 07-Oct-2020

Only 6 of the damned children remain. They are diverse from different countries and brought together as gifted anomalies. The union creates a force amongst the children and the question of their humanity is evoked by anyone with a thought. The little buggers have a message. They kill because we kill. Man's interference with earth is not a save but a control. The kids exist to create balance. The adorable, horrible, little blonde wigs were missed but not needed. (I was curious to see how the minority children looked in them.) I'm sure they made the right decision. The mothers are ferociously hateful to them for making them live in an inescapable cold world. The fathers don't exist. The film expands and is its own thing but the explanation for the mythology bummed me out. 06-Oct-2020

It takes you to a place a superhero blockbusters rarely do. It analyzes how a superpower awakening affects everyday chores, emotions and people for better or worst. You can get yourself some cash, gain a lot of respect, kill a few people, cause a ruckus and wonder how it integrates with a personal life. The villains are born from misunderstanding and rejection. The heroes are thrust forward for its mistakes. I wish they had been granted the effects that the story aspired to but the message zapped through. 01-Oct-2020

Gigolo with big dick aspirations and doofy looks learns he can coast on rich seniors before the invention of surgery gave them a choice. He was the professional husband that made grandmas' heart's reel with the wet joys of becoming a princess again. When he misconstrues what a will is and adoringly sets his social security plan on fire, accusations, cover-ups, intrigue, psychosis, mystery, double-cross and an entertaining 90 Day Fiancee vibe without the hassles of passports or visas ensues. 01-Oct-2020

Liberal climate changers go on a bloody hunt for hillbilly bloggers. The politics are appalling, the cameos are uplifting and the action is hilariously glorious. Betty Gilpin is the wrong southern bitch to mess with. The actress maintains her anger, her snit and her kickassery. The villain kicks it with the same ferocity for the ultimate fight.

(The hair replacements were termination worthy.) 26-Sep-2020

White liberal tolerance is tested when daughter brings a black man home to marry. Sidney Poitier represented the culture as a man in love with a soul of a different pigmentation that he deserved to engage with. His idea for racial harmony and hopefully acceptance, was to lay the weight and fate of the marriage on white daddy's heart. The script was respectful and contemplative, hitting points from the heart and establishing strong voices for each character. Isabel Sanford hooted as the maid who has lost control of her household and the family she wove herself into. Katherine Hepburn's use of props and legend added quotes to her character, Spencer Tracy's suffering was real, Sidney Poitier had enigmatic charisma with everybody, Dorothy Houghton was a familial delicacy, Beah Richards was luminous and Roy Glenn was growling. It's greatest case isn't about racism but a parent's fear that their child is not choosing the safest life. My favorite speech is Poitier talking to his dad about who owes who. The father who demands payment and racial solidarity for the sacrifices of rearing him or the son who wants release for a choice he didn't make? The father may limit himself by being all about black but the son just wants to be a man. 26-Sep-2020

There is a threshold of high mentality professionals cannot consume or understand so they isolate, daze and shun the unwell from reality thinking it will make them better but they're just keeping them away from us. The insane asylum is the "soccer mom" equation incorporated as rehabilitive juice. If you keep the child's mind busy life wont hurt it. Nurse Ratched is neither monster or killer. She represents the woman in charge who will do what it takes to chase the crazy out of these fuckers and get herself a promotion. She does her job better than any man or human. Her hate for men keeps her in check as long as she can control them. Louise Fletcher is etched in subtlety. She's discernible, rational and a doctor's prescription. Her murderous thoughts are a delirious read. She spends a short time in the film but her character wafts through every room, corridor and human being begging for a moment's joy. Jack daddy legend is in it to disrupt it and kill her perfect employment record. He is a man with ownership rights and a threat to her profession. He has no mental issues that would require him to be there except that he hates work and wants to coast in a nut house. He is chaos and destruction but not insane. He hates life but he can survive it. He will inhale only the convivial parts of it. Booze, parties, women and trouble. He pretends, he awakens, parades his heart with glee and makes a team of his followers. Jack is there to free them of their haze and enlighten them with the cool parts of reality. But sadness breaks out and explosions erupt endangering their mental situation. Jack smiles, hates the world, speaks our language, slays our speech, breaks our hearts and is one of the funniest sarcastic mother fuckers of all time. Excellent across the board. 21-Sep-2020

The film capitalizes on the idea that a belief in God compels naivete, lechery, sexual compulsion, loss and unforgiving violence. I'm good with that but where is the soul worth saving? Films are now made out of sap or coal. Everybody loves a bitch but they're quick to die in a bubble bath of flames. That's sad. Tom Holland never does wrong and his accent is acceptable, Bill Skarsgard was not allowed to stretch his beautiful bug-eyed wings, Sebastian is now a senior fuckable memory, Harry Melling scared the It out of me and Robert Pattinson head blocked me. His accent and sound was so confusing that I pondered looking up his real voice on Youtube. Different is not necessarily great. Bad Batman villain auditions are in Building 69, building 2 is for serious actors. The women are a form for destruction. God uses them as tools to test the depths of man. It is a well-done play with absolutely no value to offer its audience. 18-Sep-2020

Pandemic anxiety coupled with protester violence makes for a scary zombie flick. There is no delineation because the action speaks for itself. The use of modern tech to create a different outcome is brilliant, the zombies are bone crushers and the direction is tireless. The ending from nowhere different prevents greatness because the last missed a master stroke. 14-Sep-2020

Stomach ache candy and toxic individuality. It's B.C. and origin celebration that children can't apply to this generation. We descend from pods and no longer recognize individuality. You can try but the color will be swiped out of your candy. Its message is barbaric but its delight and bewitchery force us to "suck it." 13-Sep-2020

The controversy is unfounded. It is a coming of age story in which a girl realizes that the the only power out of a man's stranglehold is sex. Women, men and religion are not copacetic. Daddy is legally permitted to bring home a second wife and daughter and mother must celebrate it. The girls are reflecting the American pop icons that make female freedom seem so attainable. "Look, they can twerk their asses and shake their tits in public and no one stones them. They are considered queens living in castles above the clouds and everybody loves them. Their husbands are so cute and submissive." Little girls want to be loved and secretly twerk like adults. Parenting 101. Like most of its inspiration, the talent is unjustifiable. They can't dance. (My mother would have hiked up the kid's diaper, turned it into a plastic thong and had baby jiggling her ass for candy and male applause. I did it but only when they got me drunk. No kidding.) The atmosphere is full of enthusiasm with breaths of color. Female muslim prayer is actually represented. Good performances earn it praise but its lack of warmth and resolution hurt. A woman's best weapon is silence. 11-Sep-2020

Prince of the jungle comic book serial. Twink with squishy muscles and soft skin provides protection to the environment and its people by instinctual training. There are poachers of elephant ivory, villagers enslaved by the economy of the forest and women pursuing worthy contributions for the betterment of the environment. The effects roll deflated, animals are fun and the stunts entertain like sexy pillow fights. 10-Sep-2020

Napoleon was so thirsty for power he siphoned it from women. Engaged to be married then dumped to marry someone else, Desiree is the woman whose might didn't impress him. Jean Simmons keeps us following but she doesn't grip the strength of the character until the end. Marlon Brando refused to depict the emperor as a short, hand in pocket, general bore. Brando concocts a Venom accent, swags in unforgiving outfits and mandates media attention. The film is beautiful with impeccable costumes, empirical sets and daddy galleries. Watching is as easy as hating social media. I was curious and enrapt but I had to search on Wiki what wasn't explained in the script. The bombast was great but who are these people? What I read was absolutely fucked up. I would have filmed that. 10-Aug-2020

Action daddypalooza. It's about a virus that hints at corona which means the celebration is anticlimactic? The godly Samoan took to criticism and calmed his macho down. The squirt squirted sweet juice and super daddy accent rode it like Harry Potter on a broom. All plane sequences worked. I liked the conversation between the three on the plane and the action amongst the clouds took me to flight. The Rock admitted his shortcomings, the kicker provided sharp flare and street daddy gobbled all the cowboy tech limited by budget. Most of the action felt cartoony, some of the action felt inspired but mostly the action fulfilled what a disposable master would authorize. We must stop announcing "badass." It's not something you know, its something you are. Men will never be mothers but they can front the criticism. The writer needs to allow us to judge them. 09-Aug-2020