Infernal ghosts. Mother devastated by the loss of her adult son thinks her new home is invaded by his spirit. Malevolence is underfoot and the whole town is on call. The mythology is a curse with an alloted time that makes little sense. The ghosts need a family to feed off so violence doesn't overwhelm the town. The scares are cool within a limited reality, the actors suffer from too many acting classes and the sense is lost within its limitation. 12-Apr-2022

Kurosawa's imagining of Macbeth was intoxicating. He lingered until we felt the character's desperation. The background was still and intimidating. The actors wore silent film faces with impassioned speak. Toshiro Mifune was a beast royale as MacBeth. Isuzu Yamada was fabulously haunting as his Lady. The rustle of her dress, the scary predictions, the make-up and bouts of violent madness. She was a favorite thing. Deaths were choreographed with coherent math and geography. Inspiration is achieved but masterpiece recreation is impossible because the best things in it happened by accident. 28-Mar-2022

Oops. Laurie and Mike are not the brother and sister alluded to in Halloween 2. It was a myth and a modern waste of a great arc. 21-Mar-2022

Apt sequel that glamorizes its predecessor and makes Leatherface a hero. It's a chill, spook and gay spectacular. 06-Mar-2022

The inestimable is the most hurtful. Brian Bonsall played Mikey, a throwaway child with trust, jealousy and psychotic issues. The actor had the smarts of an adult aware of its value. Everyone loves "new" adorable thing until it becomes codependent and angry. The conversations are the same as today, which freaked me out. "We're still talking about the same shit with the non-resolutions." Mikey is presented as an adoptive boy trying to adjust to a family that has suddenly enforced rules. They must die, the most inept investigators can't solve it and adorable little Mikey is psychoanalyzed for PTSD after secretly killing them. The psychiatrist frees him into the adoption system with an "all he needs is love" diagnosis and Mikey moves on to the next stupid family. Mikey has learned that electricity and water don't mix, you can hit real balls with bats, cops can't solve anything, mothers just stand there screaming while you're stabbing them to death and to remove the bullets from adult guns and disconnect their phones so they can't fight back. Empty guns waving in the dark. Elementary school sports training consisted of coaches deciding which boy would be a "skin" or a "shirt" for no apparent reason other than to be a pervert. Telling certain kids and not others to strip is insulting and absolutely gay. His favorite teacher becomes suspicious of the boy's monstrous tendencies when he adds marbles to her "marble game." A box is designated for the kids to drop marbles they earn for good deeds. The more marbles of goodness you inherit the quicker you can fill it so its doors burst open and you can receive a prize. She investigates his history but his adoption file is closed and the witnesses are minimal. There is no living thing that is safe when Mikey gets pissed. Will he spare no one? Kids dragging adult dead bodies, killing cats, feeding frogs to sharks, setting up the boyfriend and using a bow and arrow to kill are hilarious. Everything looks TV safe and appealing, the deaths are LOL and Bonsall keeps on giving. He is the conservative cunt that arises when successful families keep pushing the same subject without advancing. Mikey is the child liberated from bullshit. Baby boy is my new "Carrie."

PS: dudes, if she wants childrenx and you don't, show her this movie. Repeated viewing depends on her voracity for children and disdain for the film. Keep it downlow. We don't want to damage her. Keep it stealthily in the background and don't stop watching it. Make it a top ten of all time. Yeah, it's crap but its better than having a baby. 21-Feb-2022

Depressing portrait of a princess devoured by gilt-edged politics. Kristen Stewart captures the legend's facade but her inner Diana is caged, whispers a lot, distinguishes her esses and is prone to accelerating her lines so we can't understand what she's saying. CC helped. The film doesn't explore past "she's nuts," "she's sick," "they're all out to get her," and she's getting a bucket of blood dumped on her head. It's haunting to think that we apply greatness to a being with no personal significance. 10-Feb-2022

Someone thought that realizing one of the most horrifying fairy tales to live film was a whimsical idea. The director wastes little time on magic and spends most of it on ugliness. He realized all the threats in a boy's life and all the insanity of the myth. A boy that really isn't a boy is considered a genderless fuck opportunity. Pedos prefer gender non-specific children because it's the baby smell they're after. Pinocchio is the perfect victim. Unique, beautiful, stupid, excited, rebellious and cooperative. The puppet gets enslaved, murdered, robbed, betrayed, hated, abused and exploited. Pinocchio cannot become a boy because his ADD doesn't allow him to sit still long enough to accept love and he's kind of an asshole. I'd be an asshole too if I were created to give hugs and tickles to ugly men. Oops, I was! The director rushes through plot points and changes nothing to make the ordeal acceptable. Why does wood eat? Why doesn't he rust or flake? What is the fairy's deal? His growing nose is a hard-on, not a lie. Jiminy Cricket sucked. It's a horror movie. Becoming a boy only grants him a hole. The world around him still sucks. 29-Dec-2021

God was so angry at us in the 50's that he sent aliens with innovative tech to destroy us. The film details the science and the purpose. Actors are effective. Effects hold up. Its relevance withstands. 26-Nov-2021

An unaccomplished masterpiece disguised as a fraud. The fright was fraught with reason. Background was eerily traced. Twinks were luminescent and Linda Blair never flinched but the budget limited its art. 04-Nov-2021

Boy genius, pal robot and single mom move to a new town. Boy makes friends, robot becomes creepy but boy finds "where his heart ought to be." Bullies, pranks, killings and deaths erase his best friend and "where his heart ought to be." He puts the robot chip into girl brain and revives her, except "where his heart ought to be" is hollow. She is overprotective, wifed and destructive. There is no balance as to which mentality is winning. She's a killer robot. The movie's charms outweighed its incomprehension. Anne Ramsey rained Halloween as a tormented neighbor who hated everybody. Matthew Laborteaux kept things hairy. Kristy Swanson kept things calm. Wes Craven signed it. The basketball was everything. It's stupid trash with enough bits of imagination to create enjoyment. 20-Oct-2021

An analogy of a woman that must reach the lower depths of hell/sex in order to achieve sainthood is only a thought. The film presents predictably with scares overwhelming thoughts. Writing creates a psychotic brain made of incomplete truths. The savior is full of god cum and icky vibes. She's a frustrated cis, wet by girl action. The saved is full of lesbian venom and privileged wit. 02-Aug-2021

This is primo Chucky and Andy. It's ridiculous but hilarious. The parents are knobs being foster parents to a teenage lesbian with survival skills and a traumatic Andy who's mother has been institutionalized for believing in human dolls. Chucky is alive, more expressive and an artistic cunt. The toy factory was it. 24-Jun-2021

Mother returns home after cosmetic surgery. She is burdened with twin boys, bandaged, tired, snarly and in need of recuperation. The boys are lonely and constantly interrupting her beauty rest which makes her upset and overreactive. The boys become convinced that the woman hiding under the bandages is not their mother. She's more violent than usual. The boys test her extensively and unbearably. They want to prove she's a fraud. "Misery" mayhem is top notch, direction has balls and the cast is deadly. 17-Jun-2021

Ten years have passed since her husband's death. The widow has moved on and is celebrating her engagement to a new beau when it's disrupted by an unnerving 10 year old who shows up and claims he is the spirit of her dead husband. His presence causes family uproar as they try to unmask a poverty-stricken child in love with Lady Nic that claims she shouldn't re-marry. The boy's unflinching demeanor is squirmy as Nic's is artistic. The director shot a continuous pan of Lady Nic giving beautiful stoic face but didn't clinch it with an ironic exclamation. He tried the same trick with the boy on the bench but the boy couldn't sit still. Lauren Bacall established herself. Danny Huston spoke for everyone as the jinxed and insecure groom who wanted to bash "returned husband's" brains out. Lady Nic doesn't unfurl until the end but it's strong. When Anne Heche blew up she exploded fantastically. If someone claims to be a lost loved one, you have to listen, even if it's ludicrous. 03-Jun-2021

Escaped prisoner hitches a ride with a dying scientist who wants to make it home so he and his wife can shrink people to change the world. The protagonist just wants to avenge the men who set him up and gain his daughter's respect. The escapees make it to the wife's cottage. A frightfully wonderful Rafaela Ottiano plays the faithful wife who has maintained his experiments and awaited his arrival. They want to shrink people so they can consume less and help the environment. It starts with dogs, jumps to lowly humans and precipitates into people you want canceled. Lionel Barrymore is top notch as the set-up guy lucking into revenge. The dolls have brilliant moments and shoddy ones. The dolls are a cameo to the story of a man that has to become a woman to safeguard his family and prove his innocence. 24-May-2021