All Posts Tagged as 'Foreign'
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Housemaid, The (2010)
Shuttered young woman accepts a job caring for a very well established family. Wife is made of plastic things and pregnant with twins. She believes her silent brute won't cheat on her because she's the perfect wife having miracle twins. "A man does not cheat on perfection." That is her motto and her curse. The eldest child is a delightful package. She is brave to say what's on her mind and sorry if it offends. A matriarch of servitude is the expert of the house, teaching the young woman how back breaking and useless it is making rich people happy. She is Mrs. Danvers, respectfully. Plotting, conniving, avenging, infiltrating and non-stop hurting to become like part of the family. Daddy is a self-absorbed god. Maid is a sexual magnet. An imperfect powerless naif to be completely his. The mother of the house is an awesome witch ready to set fire to anything that brings shame to their name. The scandal turns ingratiating maid into a hostile. The women cancel her for breaching family code... " you don't steal sperm from family gods that you are serving without asking the women first. Revenge is awesome. 10-May-2021
Curse Of The Golden Flower, The (2006)
Drop dead gorgeous. That's what I thought at the time I first saw it and its what I affirm now. I devoured and appreciated the crazy amount of artistic work that Zang's imagination and his crew realized. The story was simple and intoxicating. The empress is married to a punishing emperor obsessed with perfection, war and revenge. The empress is mother and stepmother to three boys who are next in line for the crown. Empress is in love with her stepson. He's grown up and doesn't want mama or to be emperor because he's in love with the servant daughter of the doctor that is helping the emperor to secretly poison the empress with enforced medicine. Daddy is back from battle hyped to finish his family war. Traditions are broken, inconsistancy becomes normal, traditions feel like enslavement and people are ready to revolt. Chow Yun-fat knows how to stomp his foot, wield a sword and kill a son. He's intimidating. Gong-Li is that unattainable thing that becomes easy prey once prized and possessed, thrusting her into a vengeful future because she is second in command. She serves gorgeous "Meryl Streep" face.
It's a slow burn to the battle sequences but they are worth it. Action was dressed, mapped and showcased exquisitively and the bloodbath was enervating. Men versus equally matched women with children by their side. Ouch. Amen. 22-Apr-2021
Acapulco Shore (2014-)
The men are supreme alpha dogs. The girls keep tripping on penis and alcohol on their way to womanhood. Welcome to a fucker's paradise. The sexes loathe each other as much as the American version except the Mexican men are allowed to call the women messy, hairy and girlish whores as the women are free to be messy, hairy and girlish whores. 18-Mar-2021
Casados Con Hijos (2004-)
Married With Children adapted for Colombian TV. The cast and writers are frying the American version in nastiness. They break all the rules that we police. Al is ridiculous and mama makes Peggy proud. Bud fucks his uncle's wife before the wedding and Kelly literally fucks the whole town. It's free, it's stupid, it makes me laugh before singing me to sleep. There's nothing like family. 06-Mar-2021
Just Another Christmas (2020)
Once the lunacy takes a seat, the Ground Hog Christmas motif finds its groove and its heart. Daddy wakes up every Christmas but doesn't remember anything he did all year. He wakes up to grown kids, a failed marriage, a mistress, three dogs and a few makeovers. He spends Christmas abhorring the man he has become and can't control. The family is loud and homey, the sentiments are sweet and the idea is respectful. Feliz Natal. 25-Dec-2020
Powder Your Fucking Hole
Nobody Sleeps In The Woods Tonight (2020)
Parents send their tech dependent children to nature camp to enforce the value of social interaction and gain survival skills. The bootcamp is a military wasteland. It splits them into teams and focuses on hikes, challenges and camaraderie to allow them to use the tech in their brains. You can also make friends. Good ensemble pulls you in as the movie keeps taking them out. It starts to hurt a little. The threat is a mess. We like our deformed bubblies with masks on and butch gear. It's yuck and impossible to look at. The pimply hillbilly troll backstory didn't help. It was preposterous. I withstood the gore and porn violence because of the cast, the kids, the representation, the dialogue, the awkwardness, the scared lesbian, the sexual limitations of tech sex, following natural reaction protocol and because they are us. The beast is in desperate need of a glam attack. It needs Jason's virility, Michael Myers' stamina and Freddy's humor and waist. They prepare us for death by tingling other parts of our body first. The monster was ick. 02-Dec-2020
Don't Listen (2020)
A latino Jeff Lewis moves his wife and his vitamin D deprived child to a haunted flip. This is the big one. Every cent is embroiled in this project and there will be no crying about hearing voices, premeditating people's deaths or telling your mother that I hate you. Son has been in quarantine for a long time and that's the reason the adults say he invents such magnificent lies. The thing that happens early to shock us awake was the thing that kept it running. It sputters with no engine. 01-Dec-2020
Savage Comedy Porn
After completing a space mission, an inexplicable disturbance causes two cosmonauts to crash land back to earth. One is faceless and comatose and the other has a symbiotic alien attached to him. A female doctor about to lose her license is coerced into psychoanalyzing the subject who has no memory or idea that an alien host resides within him. Her job is to cause scientific history by safely separating them. The alien arises during deep sleep and survives the length of an hour outside the cosmonaut. The alien is fiercely freaky and a bloodthirsty asshole. The surprises don't queef, the actors command and the whole is a serious Venom. The Russians may serve their drinks cold but their hearts beat warm. 22-Nov-2020