All Posts Tagged as 'Oncer'
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Bring Her Back (2025)

The ritual that is supposed to bring one back from the dead is in another language that is not translated until the end. Well, then why the fuck did it take so long? Unbalanced mother inherits 2 siblings, a hormonal teenager with wet problems and a mostly blind baby sister that has a need to be acknowledged. Boy wants to run with his sister but in 3 months he can do it legally. He just needs to put up with his foster mother's psychosis. The atmosphere is constantly tight. The actors delivered more than the script gave them. Gross is not a metaphor for fright, the ritual is not logical, the actions are less so, I didn't understand Ollie's diet and I didn't appreciate all the red. 28-Oct-2025
Twisters (2024)

It's popcorn fun without the stomach ache or the funny taste but its easily forgotten. There isn't much to a twister film if the effects aren't ready to tackle what could happen inside one. Its parent film created the illusion that a twister was powerful because it could raise a cow. I wanted to see what a human might go through when sucked into a twister. Just because there are no witnesses doesn't mean we can't decipher one. The cast is amiable, the story keeps pumping but the science let me down. 12-Apr-2025
Venom: The Last Dance (2024)

It's more of an exercise than it is an accomplishment. I stayed tuned because the man who cracks dicks with his ass is charming as fuck. None of the support matches him. The symbiotes' history did not have enough humanity to make me care. The action sequences depended heavily on coincidence. The chemistry between Mrs. Chen and Mr. Hardy was wasted. The threat was so surreal that it became mute. I stayed to memorize Hardy's butt but he didn't turn around much. 01-Mar-2025
Blink Twice (2024)

The wait for resolution is interminable. Channing Tatum didn't menace enough. Naomi Ackie seemed too woke to fall for a Peter Pan man. It would have been fresh if the girls had just said "no" to the leery invitation to a private island with no transportation back. Peter would have to arrange a deceitful method to get them there. That's menacing. A beautiful palette and luscious atmosphere held the key to my interest but when the climax happens its a compilation of memes that spoke volumes and represented very little. It's a harsh topic that needed to play out so the audience can understand the reasons people do anything. 29-Jan-2025
Trap (2024)

Hartnett's choice of psycho was goofy and almost unbearable to watch. The close-ups where he talks directly into the camera were off-putting and silly. The nepo concert felt endless and obvious. The father/daughter dynamic was thin and cardboard. They didn't show how Josh got from one place to another, he was just there. All the answers landed so simply that it trashed the clues. The twist was great as a spoken word but without presentation it's null. The home life doesn't enter until the end when we no longer give a fuck. Maybe it should have started there and include the daughter in the plot. She realizes he's psycho and has to kill him. But how?! 27-Oct-2024
Five Nights At Freddys (2023)

It was difficult to establish how the animatronics were killing people. They never showed it. It was directed for wimps who are scared of horror movies. The reason for living animatronics is an overused one. They couldn't be aliens? How the fuck did that animatronic get in the car? They do not bend easily. How many times did we have to relive Josh's memories? We got it the first time. 07-Mar-2024
Foe (2023)

The performances were award worthy and the men, ass ripping but the story remained too abstract to give the film much punch. There wasn't enough information about how the outside world worked to care what occurred in small spaces. My brain exploded when Saiorise's character deduced that maybe we were looking down at the sky. That would mean that earth was upside down. I couldn't grasp the idea of looking down to find my blue clouds and sunshine. The end adds it all up but the director did not distribute enough interesting bits throughout. Entertainment was Pet Sematary inspired. 06-Jan-2024
Barbie (2023)

Women can do anything except fight wars, raise non-toxic boys or shut up. Barbie is a politic, a preacher and a bore. Man hate shuffles in so often that enjoyment is stifled. The cast is brilliant. Margo and Ryan were perfect iterations of iconic toys and the support kept up but the story just memes on the same subject, over and over. The film distinguishes the sexes without exploring true intentions or circumstances. The best way for feminists to free themselves from a man's grasp is to never marry and to abolish religions that place them in dire situations. 16-Dec-2023
Godzilla vs. Kong (2021)

Kong vs. Kardashians. 10-Jul-2021
Clovehitch Killer, The (2018)

It's based on a historical serial killer but it's not. Boy's disinterest in crime history is tested when he stumbles upon evidence that may incriminate a loved one. A teen investigation ensues. Obvious clues don't allow the mystery to spring forward. The family does not generate enough emotion to evoke compassion. There is no new imagination. Are we supposed to act like we don't know who the killer is? It's directed that way. Charlie Plummer pulled away at the proximity of Dylan McDermott. That would have been useful for some guttural acting but no one thought of it. Dylan mocks his character and has no idea how to preach about God. We're cheering for a family that sucks and a film that associates cross dressing with psychos. 19-Jun-2021
New Mutants, The (2020)

Caged mutants. It stifles their capabilities and our enjoyment. I want to see them conquer the world that is familiar to us. It takes cues from the Freddy Krueger series, ho humming along and invading the lab rats' nightmares. Big Bad is stale and the action needed some throwback. Misplaced hair is my pet peeve. There's loads of it. The lesbians elicited some heart, Sunspot singed some hard-ons and the rest needed something to believe. So did we. 03-Feb-2021
Birds of Prey (2020)

Robbie is missing the lilt and the energy that would whip Harley Quinn into a showpiece. The women in charge plaster the screen with cartoon abandon, avoid psychoanalyzing themselves and express no vulnerability that would compel a unique perspective. The film lacks a heart. It's like a man directed it. 13-Jun-2020
Rim Of The World (2019)

Aliens have invaded and, it's up to 4 pups, to save the world. The children are cliches and stereotypes discharging sexual innuendos, inappropriate confusion and fake bravado. The script particularly hates most of the black characters as they exist to be the brunt of a joke and are the fastest to grate. The aliens don't look or act like they can access tech because their design is jurassic. No fun, just crap. 13-Apr-2020
Creep (2014)

I don't do well with first-person because its film rolling on inanimate objects (people included) that are restricted. A fantastic one connects what we see with what we imagine. A disappointing one makes a straight beeline across a rudimentary device. The creep in question is just an exasperating real estate agent with constant jabber and little realization. The one behind the camera could have offset the other's nonsense with the snappy quips his screams intimated. The axe received the most character development. The "s" word comes to mind but I refuse to use it. 01-Apr-2020
Platform, The (2020)

It makes sense in the confines of the story but it's pretty preposterous without a big world picture. It's vile, claustrophobic and exhausting. 30-Mar-2020