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Below Deck (2013-) Howl

The female crew invalidated gender equality by crying over missing clothing, exhaustion and other girly things. Give them some Boost. It pissed Izzy right out of there. She went deck crew. She knows how to man up. A charter of younglings dominated the boat and the elder younglings (crew) sort of resented them. The charter was immobile, always hungry, always full with a deep appreciation for good food. Why are we lobbing golf balls into the ocean? Pretty rich boy's hormones couldn't contain themselves and roared about James beauty and compared him to Tom Hardy. James was flattered to be Tom Hardy's butt. Girlfriend couldn't take the flirtation and walked away. Horny charter cared very little about girlfriend same sex annoyances. Woke means sex with anyone. Yes, girl, the bro thing is a rouge. He's rich, you want it, shut up. Chef Rachel made me hungry. Shane wants to be a fish. He always wants to shed clothing and swim. Naked sushi is disgusting. Daddy Cap enjoying babies running wild was cute. You want to take a bite out of Eddie but where to start? James became depressed when his crewmates refused to understand his accent and when he realized they took their jobs seriously. He had a discussion with Izzy that seemed chopped up but I think I got the gist. He was horny. Francesca would do. Izzy claimed he was horny for any hole including the pretty charter. "He'd need a hip replacement," he countered. I didn't get if he meant his ass was Hardy (breaks dicks) or his dick was powerful. The tip suggested he should have tried anyway. 24-Jun-2020

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Real, Silly, Sweet, Tacky, Wit Snit

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24-Nov-2020


American Music Awards (2020) BitesEarly Exit

Justin Bieber acknowledged that being gang banged by black male artists is why he mimics their rap and style. He also wanted to induct us into his new religion. Total fail. No man is going to join a religion that allows you to grow prematurely bald. Twink, twink. Taraji is the kind of guest you don't want to leave alone with white people. The Weekend donning Michael Jackson weirdness and surgery dedicated his award to gay hater Prince. "Katy Perry fat" makes a better live singer than Katy Perry normal. Wow, rap is so gay. I tuned out as soon as Derek Hough licked the camera. 23-Nov-2020

Tags: 2020s, Celebrity, Discomfort, Early Exit, Fantasy, Fatigue, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, Maddening, Manipulation, No Chemistry, Overcooked, Political, Preachy, Predictable, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Weird

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23-Nov-2020


Amazing Race, The (2001-) Howl

S3E7. Gays are always the first to start an alliance and the first to fuck it up. Daddy black baller had pink fingernail polish and I will never forget that. Daddy bigger baller loves art. Tingly. The gays have become the stereotype representation that assists in community failure and that makes me bet against them. I like the asian straight couple. Phil, I beg you. Do not let those alpha beards or ballers go until after the skimpy underwear wet challenge. Dude, I know you have a preference for blondes but please think gay for just one episode. The house boy was a nice touch. Twink Twink. 19-Nov-2020
S32E2. Phil has sporty good taste in Colombian houseboys. They love you for longer minutes. I am not a snitch but there is more than one LGBTQ couple competing in the race. The sport alphas are giving it a good twirl. Wink, wink. I tolerate the gay cup. 17-Nov-2020
It's amazing because the stunts are crazy, the producers keep finding people that are not us to perform them, and Phil is a master conductor. 02-Feb-2018

Tags: 2000s, 2010s, Action, Best in Reality, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Fantasy, Funny, Gay Swatch, History, Hot Swatch, Pretty, Sentimental, Silly, Special, Squish Alert, Suspense, Twisty, Unity, Wit Snit

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19-Nov-2020


Below Deck (2013-) Howl

Idiot gays make female crew tired. Cis female "hangers on" of idiot gays are incomprehensible. James glitters in shiny underwear. Shane is a CA organic lazy head. Captain Lee is guaranteed a free blowjob at every port. Eddie is squishier. I like Rachel's style. Izzy needs to loosen up and be more cunty. Elizabeth. I don't remember her. Francesca needs Hannah's medicine. 09-Nov-2020
A captain in charge, flirtations and sexual innuendos aplenty, women have the right to be stupid and the men have the right to be hot. It's Below Deck. The first charter consisted of gays and friends from cloney island. I classified them as tasteless but the captain justified them as idiots. 03-Nov-2020
Boys versus girls. Nobody wins and the only common denominator that keeps men and women connecting is sex, otherwise, they hate each other. Good job social media. 04-Feb-2020
Scary horny privileged white women and picking on the black girl because her service on tables and in bed are not up to standard. 04-Dec-2019
A Flintstone marriage proposal was celebrated hypocritically, the Captain won a big dick contest, the camera lingered lovingly on Brian's bulge and the wit was stabby. 05-Nov-2019
The Flintstones entertained toxic female desperation. 21-Oct-2019
The Flintstones rocked the boat as the clones/guests pissed on it. 17-Jan-2019
The only thing that can save this ship is if they hire a "Florence" type from "The Jeffersons" to tell the entitled rich folks to "fuck off." 30-Nov-2017
For those questioning what sexual harassment consists of, last night's episode outlines it perfectly. Shame on you Kate for empowering the privileged creeps and hinting that a "real" yachtee would play along. Protecting your staff should always be the first priority. "Yachtee" must be code word for compliant to braggart perversion. 01-Nov-2017
Katie's wit. The Captain. Eye candy. Fun. 21-Oct-2015

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Real, Silly, Sweet, Tacky, Wit Snit

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09-Nov-2020


Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-) Howl

Reunion 2. Drug converse lingered too long. We need to accommodate the mentally impaired so they can joyfully do their sexually abusive jobs without killing anyone. That was the safety feature the Goddess was trying to implement. It works both ways, the drugs are illegal but a psychosis strike is no joke. The moment we enter a doctor's office, we are all drug addicts. The goddess struck down the captain with a thunderbolt as Malia armed herself like a gunslinger. Chef fuck was puppyish and backstabbing as he snitched that being fingered by Deck Ratched is a threat to his life. The ratched played it as feminine and as hopeless as a butch face allows whilst receiving glaring looks from daddy captain. Is pretty Jesus allowed to say, Oh Jesus? That was discomfiting. The lord doesn't give a shit about drugs, women issues or life policies. He's Jesus and he needs to fuck. 27-Oct-2020
Reunion. It was Hannah sabotage. All political and aesthetic arguments were won by women. They had Hannah to blame for everything, even how bad the chef's food tasted. The ratched was demure, the captain was tuna of the sea, Andy zipped his body into a zippo in case anything got mistook and Jesus was pushed aside like the God no longer required. Welcome to New Poseidon. 19-Oct-2020
The rocket liberated Jesus so others could worship him. Mistake. A goddess that begs on her knees and turns her tears into oceans is not worthy of his majesty. He's an experience not a flight. Deck Ratched should be commended for steering the boat and controlling her hen (Chef Fuck.) Alex was commended for being a nasty fuck that cares. Bugs is efficiency. Aesha is a jolt. Captain Sandy gets an outstanding pretense award for wishing Chef Fuck and Ratched well when Ratched had already confessed to her how she was going to dump him, whilst snogging in bed. (It's called Gaydar.) 12-Oct-2020
Aesha had a priceless reaction to the rocket's complaint that no one is allowed to touch pretty jesus butt during group photos. Aesha never heard of relationship confinement rules but she complied with the goddess' request and snorted to the audience. "My friends and family do it all the time, what would I do with his butt anyway, I don't have a penis," or something like that. Deck Ratched gave Chef Fuck an ass rubdown and he flitted about for the rest of the charter. 07-Oct-2020
When someone questions another's sexuality for provocation she probably does it because they want it, have tried it and want it again. Malia may not be a lesbian but she dates sweet n' low. Chef Fuck couldn't do a thing without deck Ratched. The captain was content just to find another dick to kick onboard now that dickhand was chained up. Alex was asked by empowered women who his boat bitch was as dickhand rattled his chains underground and cried for help. The pretty one decided that his Jesus skills could impart horny rich frumps to bump the tip and maybe make Goddess cancel that Bali trip. Aesha is a social worker. She basically bonked out because there were emotions and jealousies oozing from the rocket's mouth. "That bitch is crazy, relationships don't look like that no more. Google it." 28-Sep-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Brutal, Camp, Celebrity, Chemistry, Comedy, Drama, Emasculating, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Horror, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Lesbian, Maddening, Overcooked, Pitchy, Political, Reality, Relationships, Shrill Act, Silly, Suspense, Tacky, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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27-Oct-2020


90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After Tell All (2020)  Woof

Angela, did you get into a fight? Mrs. Bates is hilarious. Eric acted like he took a course in clowning and failed. Since when does family own individuals? The way people act on social media is how they treat each other at home? Eeek. No one has a free thought. If Michael needs his aunty to teach Angela what he is entitled to, he is not the man for the "babymaking" job. So say the spirits. The host asked Syngin to wave his hair back and forth and I chilled. 07-Oct-2020
Andrei was a cause for American consternation as he declared himself a jigger, a wife, a mother, the household and the man of the house. The Americans reacted like someone took their right to vote away. I would have been much angrier at him if I weren't imagining him motorboating Larissa while Syngin jumped up and down, hair back and forth. Joy. Norman and Mrs. Bates tried to state their case for the normalization of psycho. "She deserved it, she's a money grubbing whore." So was Janet Leigh but she didn't deserve to die. The rocking chair (mother) attempted to stabilize the accusations but Norman was too busy slobbering onto the cameras. It's ok, only fat hags, 12 year olds and stoopid girls got the gist. Eric seemed frustrated that there was no camera under his seat. So was I! Tonya only chimed in when the word psycho or narcissistic was raised. I wasn't looking at Angela's mask, I was looking at the bruises and scratches on her arms. Asuelo is not playing volleyball every day. Nobody likes the sport that much unless you're a coach, an athlete or someone who can hit. He looks like neither. The only thing he's hitting is his dick. 27-Sep-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Chemistry, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Discomfort, Drama, Emasculating, Fun Acting, Funny, Hot Swatch, Hyper, Maddening, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Political, Reality, Relationships, Scary, Shrill Act, Silly, Travel, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tough

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07-Oct-2020


90 Day Fiance: Couples Tell All (2019) Woof

The word soulmate has been destroyed for me. Why does anyone think that another soul can be connected to you for eternity but not death. Tania is the female empowerment culled from watching too much Nick sitcoms and Jane The Virgin. Syngin needs to squish right out of there before he turns to squash. Anny. He's looting your ass. Mamita tell the grandmother you want a job in porn. Too bad for the cute kid. Juliana & Michael. I hope to see the Lifetime version of how it went down ten years later. Lesbian Ex Killers... Fuck 'em attitude all the way. Emily & Sasha. Girl, he fucked me at the gym. Good luck not reaching for them cookies. Jasmin is so ravenous that she turned Blake's eyes blue. Anna & Mursel. I can't tell if it's genuine but her son Joey isn't opposed to the marriage because he lost control of the household it's because he really thinks something is afoot and mama ignored it. The psychology is outdated. Mike & Natalie. Natalie is calling bullshit on the process by establishing that there is more than one reason to get a green card, she' just being brutally honest about the demands. Nice men always follow bad boys by giving everything but pleasure. Mike & Juliana. Walking on broken glass. Michael & Angela. Angela is the aggressor that will lead you out of danger. Her hopes and dreams are so gigantic that she almost makes it seem possible. She deserves to get herself some. Angela, the buffoons have been cursed. Wink, Wink. Twitch. Kaboom! 30-Aug-2020

Tags: 2010s, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Cliche, Comic Book, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Emasculating, Fun Acting, Funny, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, Maddening, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Political, Predictable, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Revenge, Romance, Sentimental, Showy, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Supremacism, Suspense, Sweet, Tacky, Tough, Warbly, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, World, Writ Basic

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30-Aug-2020


90 Day Fiancee (2014-) Arf

S7E10. I understand the fulfillment received when a foreign embodiment decrypts what your own country can't give you...love. It's a trophy denied by the sameness in representation.

Juliana and ex-wife concocted a plan to destroy white daddy privilege. Juliana is smart. Happiness is never having to see white daddy privilege smirk again.

Blake & Jasimine. Dude, I had a relationship with her ex and every time I saw her, I shit my pants. He must like the punishment.

Anna & Mursel. The reason Mursel couldn't marry Anna is because the power in celebration has gone to parents' heads. Her eldest read it.

Robby & Anny. Ok, Anny is a fabulous creature that looks like my first girlfriend. If Robby doesn't provide for her like he promised their are bigger diks with extra bucks that will. Stop sleeping with your kid. You are making it easy for a pedophile to bed him. Would you like to snuggle, young sir?

Emily & Sasha. You can't change a communist. I've tried. Family first.

Tania & Syngin. If I were still a twink and still interested in sex I would enrapt her slave in realistic options and whip his hair back and forth. She is abominable. 29-Aug-2020
S7E3. Stoopid Americans invest on foreign trade hoping for love everlasting. Succeeding at not making their own dreams come true, the Americans construct a turkey pact to allow others into this country so they can destroy them. (We are built on the idea of slavery after all.)

Michael & Juliana. I hope he doesn't manage business the way she manages him.

Emily & Sasha. Emily is his last chance to get to America before his kid does.

Blake & Jasmine. Poor guy.

Anna & Mursel. The cherub and the bee. Anna cannot blame a man for not prioritizing her children. The kids are her responsibility and we live in a world where women make it their choice to matter. Give up the dik or hurt your kids.

Robby & Anny. Fool, get your son a bed! Fuck her. She's not here to play nice. The only way to be fashionable in a poverty stricken country is to provide special services.

Tania & Syngin. Jane acquired an injured bronco with free carpentry and boinking skills. It's your mother's house! She barely wants you there now. She will kick you out as soon that pitbull pops out your belly. She irritates like my sister. 22-Aug-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Accidental Watch, Best In Gay, Brutal, Camp, Creepy, Cultural, Drama, Emasculating, Funny, Inappropriate, Incomprehensible, Indecipherable, Insulting, Juvenile, Maddening, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Out of Place, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Political, Preachy, Predictable, Psychological, Relationships, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly, Supremacism, Tacky, Thriller, Tough, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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29-Aug-2020


Dick Van Dyke Show, The (1961-1966) Howl

S4E23. Girls Will Be Boys. The Petrie boy is being bullied by a girl. Mama ideation triumphed in getting him to open up and supported him in his hurt but it didn't solve the problem. The violence continued even with parental interference. Sexual identity was contemplated, a boy's role in the world was catapulted and the talent was given the opportunity to portray gender conflict with laughter and honor. Daddy Perfect Hands believes boys shouldn't hit girls. Daddy Perfect Hands grows tired of the dainty threat and instructs his son to pummel her. It was resolved with sexual harassment. Equality. 15-Aug-2020
Brilliant mad men and women. 30-Jun-2020

Tags: 1960s, Adorable, Best In Comedy, Chemistry, Classic, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Drama, Elegance, Fun, Funny, Genius of Art, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Rocks, Relationships, Romance, Silly, Special, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Sweet, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writ Tough, Writer's Peak

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15-Aug-2020


Camp Getaway (2020-) No MoonsEarly Exit

It needs a serial killer. 13-May-2020

Tags: 2020s, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Discomfort, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Grating, Insulting, Juvenile, Out of Place, Reality, Relationships, Sexist, Shrill Act, Silly, Static, Tacky, Warbly

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13-May-2020


Never Have I Ever (2020-) BitesEarly Exit

Female driven fairytale of teen empowerment. To obtain such merit, a girl must prioritize "the shortcuts," suppress the lower stereotypes, pounce on a superior royal animal and have it grant her that royal fucking that will liberate her. (So, all girls think.) I don't remember kids talking like this, I hope kids aren't talking like this and I definitely hope they don't start. One episode of unawareness, lack of emotional study and an honest laugh, had me bolting. In fairytales there are no lessons without a witch.

Niecy Nash glimmered gingerly. 08-May-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Comedy, Cultural, Drama, Early Exit, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, Maddening, Manipulation, Out of Place, Overcooked, Political, Preachy, Predictable, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Tired, Unfunny, Warbly, Writ For Short Attn Spans

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08-May-2020


Married At First Sight (2014-) ArfUpgradeWoof

Season Finale/Reunion. The doctor punched bluebeard, host daddy was a hormonal explosion and the show followed my script to the letter. I felt sorry for the last married couple on earth as they endured the horrors of others' relationships. Austin, particularly looked sick. The show is getting very close to hosting Fear Factor editions but is having fun on it's way there. 25-Apr-2020
S10. It's been tough relating or tolerating this season.

The experts are sinking into quack territory.

Mandy finally got rid of Bluebeard (Zach.) Hooray!

Taylor and Brandon. He's just stalling until the next bout of insecurity hits so he can explode. Run, girl.

Meka and Michael. A man doesn't change...he pretends. Run, girl.

Jessica and Austin. He will say I love you as soon as you forgive his first business travel discrepancy.

Katie and Derek. He's privileged and she's insecure. Eek.

Giving everyone a lie detector test before the show would give the experts some cred and avoid giving us another inadmissible season. 27-Mar-2020
S7E6. Naivete about the experiment is no longer viable because the mice have been coached by previous seasons. It's the show's sanity at test because the mice are the new experts that will mold the show through its entirety. As each season passes and we tire of them, the couples will most likely end up swapping with each other (see season 5, alpha Ashley Petty deserved alpha Cody Knapek and Anthony deserved for Danielle to put him on a diet.) The premise will continue to work because God's plan brought them together. The queens giving men sex, before and after catastrophe struck, was downright professional. 23-Oct-2019
Uh Oh. S6. Shawniece and Jephte made adorability joyous. May they enjoy an 88. 20-Oct-2019
S5E7. Fuck the experts, listen to the dogs! 05-Oct-2019
Experts encouraging couples to overlook red flags in a marriage because pretense defeats how a person feels. 21-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Brutal, Drama, Fantasy, Funny, Real, Relationships, Romance, Scary, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Tacky, Thriller, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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25-Apr-2020


Too Hot To Handle (2020-) Bites

No sex games, stripper parties or porn stars performing anatomy tricks. No Casa De Amor with an hour free of rules to tempt anyone. A lame exercise in controlling the libido does not a better date candidate make and I have no idea what point it's trying to make. (The winner takes home about $12.00 after taxes.) 19-Apr-2020
The norm is hornier than I thought. Love Island Castaways land on Mt. Celibacy and are tortured into going straight. The women are boob jocks and the men prance around blowing bro bubbles. The understanding is that what an independent woman wants, is a servant. It's not daring or tacky, not willing to titillate on a channel that permits it and not willing to locate a winning politic. "Tom Holland future" is an eerie panty shredder, women are still reaching for the biggest/complicated things, unruly racism is itching closer to our faces and Jesus left because he couldn't stand them. 18-Apr-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Creepy, Cultural, Fake, Horror, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, No Chemistry, Reality, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Weird

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19-Apr-2020


Shahs of Sunset (2012-) Bites

I only watch sporadically because they are overly complicated and spoiled. I'm watching this season out of boredom. It is interesting to note that they've handled the "me too" moment with little awareness of what it means and a heaping amount of prejudice. The problem with "me too" is that if you're liked or needed they ("family) can make it go away. Just gang pounce on the other side without giving it one moment's consideration. 04-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Comic Book, Conspiracy Theory, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Inappropriate, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, Maddening, Manipulation, Political, Predictable, Reality, Relationships, Representing, Shrill Act, Silly, Warbly, Wit Crack, Writ Basic, Writ For Short Attn Spans

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04-Mar-2020


Love Island (UK) (2015-) BitesUpgradeHowl

Men have invented a new derogatory language to upset women. What now? We can't ban every word... or can we? Nobody mentioned french toast, its the best (any foreigner with sweet tasting d...) 22-Feb-2020
Contestants get paid to be inappropriate to strangers. 16-Feb-2020
I misinterpreted its existence. We are judging cave dwellers hooking up in a modern habitat. Skinny jeans, man pillows, wrangling, snogging, heart rips, musical accents and an errattic ear...that's entertainment. It's a braincation. 16-Feb-2020
Boring in any language. 25-Aug-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accident Watch, Brutal, Camp, Cliche, Drama, Early Exit, Fake, Fatigue, Foreign, Funny, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Overcooked, Predictable, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Sexy, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Suspense, Sweet, Tacky, Talk, Twisty, Unity, Weird, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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22-Feb-2020




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