Movies Posts Tagged as 'Director's Slice'
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A beautifully crafted animation about unlocking traditional magic. Two brothers accidentally cast a spell that resurrects half of dad. No head or heart just crotch, ass, legs and feet. He profiles like a predator. It taps their shoes to announce to victims they've been found.
My version: boy triggers a spell that brings complete daddy back. If they want to keep him they have 24 hours to venture out and make it happen. They bond. They have beautiful memories and grand adventures without having to endure memorizing daddy's crotch and ass for 24 hours. Takeoff! Did cartoon daddy walk off the set in a huff? The filmmakers could not realize a finale for us. It was all hearsay. 08-Apr-2021
Craft Legacy (2020)
It gets down to business. Three practicing high school witches need a fourth to obtain their full powers. Enter nondescript beauty and all their dreams come true. We celebrate and we vow then realize that like masturbation, the power is ours. People don't share well. Too many ideas that were worth exploring that remained untouched. Nicholas Galitzine is worth enthralling but the reasoning didn't make sense. He was too infatuated to warrant one. Though the twists were a treat, it needed revenge craft. Lots of bloody hell of it. 05-Apr-2021
Princess O'Rourke (1943)
Princess that feels like a bird in a cage gets rescued by a pilot when she overdoses on sleeping pills during a flight. The save frees her unto the real world where she suffers from a lack of talent besides waving, dressing fancy and waiting for a royal stallion to impregnate her with boys. The legends are luminous trotting a sound comedy beat and unrolling an escapist romance. The story turns politically dark after the reveal as the man realizes that with a woman in power comes great servitude. 07-Mar-2021
Star Wars: The Phantom Menace (1999)
I went retro and revisited some films that weren't to my liking. If it weren't for Lucas magic this film would be one of the worst. The child. Poor thing. No training, no soul. I would have skipped to the Superboy years one second after the awesome pod race. Liam Neeson didn't seem taken by the force. The words meant nothing to him. It was a job. MacGregor's head moved stiffly and he looked like he cracked up before and after many line readings. Jar Jar Binks was created by party people with no exceeding limits. I watched him drunk and still found him annoying. Natalie Portman must have looked blankly at countless fake CGI things because she applied it to humans as well. The voice she inflected was cockamamie and infectious. Yoda isn't as cute as The Child. At all. Blathering old idiot. Robes don't flow in saber fights and future love relations are not impactful if one babysat the other. The director worked beyond the force. The fans publicly cheered while quietly sighing. Darth Maul was a pocket. It makes a good game but not a good film. 02-Feb-2021
Space Station 76 (2014)
I watched expecting to find any reason to turn it off. It didn't feel like comedy but the players were so adamant on cultivating their characters that it gets downplayed as a natural part of life. They live in space, sometimes alone and sometimes with family. Some have seen earth, others have not.
Highlights of the future:
We still have to roll it, light it and smoke it ourselves
The robots seem like leftovers from the NINTENDO R.O.B. collection
The future has picked the 60s as their futuristic style
The tech must have been collected from PeeWee's Playhouse
There is only one child in the colony and it plagues her with panic. Her mother wants to deny her joy. Her pets keep dying because mommy hamsters have a tendency to bite their babies' heads off. Is it because she feels they don't have the skills to survive? That's how mommy explained it. Liv Tyler is the newbie getting accustomed to living with strangers and doing her best not to let anyone down. Her boss (Patrick Wilson) is hyper, mentally unravelled and suicidal because he can't stop jerking off to the Grinch. That was funny. Matt Bomer is married to lonely child's mother. She loathes the newbie because she has gained her daughter's affection and she likes her man. Bomer does a "pretty" acceptable job of being man trash.
A story about space that has nothing to do with nerdy technical explanations. I liked that. 13-Dec-2020
A Cinderella Story: Christmas Wish (2019)
Cindy fends an exploitative Jenner stepmom and abominable Kardashian sisters. The music is cute, the twink prince can break daddy dick and crush virgin vagina and its existence is Christmas cheer. Adorable! 24-Nov-2020
Flower Drum Song (1961)
Married At First Sight/90 Day Fiancee. Chinese immigrants curtail their visa wait by UPSing themselves to San Francisco. A father and his well-bred daughter. The goal is to find the man whose family promised the daughter betrothal. Prospect is a bad boy gangster, with gambling addictions, alcohol overconsumption and love for loose women. Picture bride's contract is traded like a football to the father of a son whose fucking Prospect's side piece. A third woman is gunning for the bachelor of Chinatown and the one that screams wife material the most but she is easily discarded. The lyrics refuse to gell. There are no rhythms or rhymes to make us remember them. The dance sequences fare better except that the bungle edits rendered the hard work flawed. San Francisco is a colored gingerbread house and even though the traditions are a bit sticky it's a pleasant world to live in. 11-Nov-2020
A novel scientific resolution to save the environment revolutionizes the planet. The idea is to shrink people by offering the struggling worker a comfortable life and deem prisoners and hostiles of the government their servants. Matt Damon spoke Spanish eloquently, pulled deep emotion and cast a sad hero. Only 3% become small, the planet doesn't get better and life decisions have to be made. I think Kristin Wiig should main it for the sequel. She'd weave a funny awkward life into it. I wanted more of everything. I wanted to nerd out with corny effects and funny big people scenarios but the budget remained tight. The ending is about choices and priorities. We get to choose with them. 11-Nov-2020
Nobody Lives Forever (1946)
Gangster serving time in the army is released into a scam that involves sucker punching a widow for her money. The gangsters are divided by type but united by greed. The old timer that you can trust but has run out of gimmicks, the roughneck always by your side until the tide changes, there are tramp gangsters whose limitations and penchant for violence grants them misery, the stud with athletic edges that make the girls swoon is unmatched and most wanted and the moles destruct what the competition makes worthwhile. Garfield is thug sophistication, smarts with an aggressive charm and a daddy with a heart of gold that's going to generate much trouble. It isn't art but its tipping its hat to it. Faye Emerson scratches louder than Geraldine Fitzgerald's screams and "Mr. Gladys Kravitz" was funny. 11-Oct-2020
A journalist joins the sex trade in an effort to expose the leading traffickers in their country. She meanders, manipulates, swags, snitches and avoids having sex. The men are crime kings who grab it, beat it, sell it, crumple it up and dump it (usually underground.) The suspense is agonizing because the hurt is real and we can't do much about it. It's "Cuties" horrifyingly grown up. 07-Oct-2020
It takes you to a place a superhero blockbusters rarely do. It analyzes how a superpower awakening affects everyday chores, emotions and people for better or worst. You can get yourself some cash, gain a lot of respect, kill a few people, cause a ruckus and wonder how it integrates with a personal life. The villains are born from misunderstanding and rejection. The heroes are thrust forward for its mistakes. I wish they had been granted the effects that the story aspired to but the message zapped through. 01-Oct-2020
Midnight Special (2016)
A boy special enough to kill and protect. Michael Shannon, Joel Edgerton and Adam Driver are daddy courage serving ass whippings and child protection. Kirsten Dunst inhabits a mother's sacrifice without saying a word. Solid acting sustains the probability. Little boy holds back when he should and only releases to surprise us. The theory echoed and much of the discovery is amazing. There are things I don't biologically understand but the sci-fi thrills are enough to make you forget it. (The scenario I always dreamed of played out and it destroyed my functionality.) 20-Sep-2020
Devil All The Time, The (2020)
The film capitalizes on the idea that a belief in God compels naivete, lechery, sexual compulsion, loss and unforgiving violence. I'm good with that but where is the soul worth saving? Films are now made out of sap or coal. Everybody loves a bitch but they're quick to die in a bubble bath of flames. That's sad. Tom Holland never does wrong and his accent is acceptable, Bill Skarsgard was not allowed to stretch his beautiful bug-eyed wings, Sebastian is now a senior fuckable memory, Harry Melling scared the It out of me and Robert Pattinson head blocked me. His accent and sound was so confusing that I pondered looking up his real voice on Youtube. Different is not necessarily great. Bad Batman villain auditions are in Building 69, building 2 is for serious actors. The women are a form for destruction. God uses them as tools to test the depths of man. It is a well-done play with absolutely no value to offer its audience. 18-Sep-2020
Trolls World Tour (2020)
Stomach ache candy and toxic individuality. It's B.C. and origin celebration that children can't apply to this generation. We descend from pods and no longer recognize individuality. You can try but the color will be swiped out of your candy. Its message is barbaric but its delight and bewitchery force us to "suck it." 13-Sep-2020
Lodge, The (2019)
Children despise daddy's new love interest who is the sole survivor of a cult massacre. Looking her up on social media exacerbates the outlook. They think she's psycho but is she? Holed up alone while uncaring daddy launches on one of those emergency work things, the family is left to fend for themselves on a lodge stuck in a wintery field. Each side strikes a match, extinguished by victimhood and set ablaze by director pullback. Little girl screams were uncomfortably realistic which is the point. Worship is a force of magic that creates what soothes the mind (salvation) and kills it (judgment.) The kids, the girlfriend and the house perceive spirituality differently. (Alicia was excellent as the tired wife.) 29-Aug-2020