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All Posts Tagged as 'Gay Swatch'

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Flash, The (2023) Arf

It failed because the lead was an inhumane dick that played it cute. Michael Keaton's Batman was a CGI hillbilly that bored us to death. We can't accept a punk rock Supergirl until we tire of blondes. Fortune will come as soon as the audience forgets who these fuckers were. 29-Sep-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Cheeky Acting, Director Movement, Enthusiastic, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Thriller, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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29-Sep-2023


Woman Possessed (1958) Woof

A mother who has dedicated her whole life to making sure her son could take care of himself are reunited after two years, he's a doctor and engaged to be married. Mother is shocked at boy breaking mother monster bubble but he's in love. The introductions are awkward, full of rich people manners that can't mask hate. The conversations are human. Mother expounds an opinion that changes their lives forever. The couple bicker about how much control the mother has over her son and the backhanded humiliation future wife receives. Sometimes he was right, other times she was and half the time, both were. The mother blames the fiancee's weakness as to why she needs to suffer in her world. She was horrible when no one was around and she never let them see her sweat in a dress. The jury flip flops as did I. Uncle was cute, old maid was tired, of course, she had a mansion to clean, dress and cook for and young maid's exit was fucked up. The birthday party was a topper. The irony explains itself, the ladies were in good form and was that a lesbian ending? 22-Jul-2023

Tags: 1950s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Classic, Director Movement, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Fun, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Lesbian, Mystery, Psychological, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Star Watt, Touching, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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22-Jul-2023


Deep Fake Love (2023-) Woof

S1E6. The hostess melted ice like climate change and gave a grieving contestant a much appreciated mom hug. Sweet. 09-Jul-2023
S1E5. Our European brethren don't fuck around. Fright and overreaction. The moment the couples landed on Lost Island they were jittering, twitching and sweating for things that they already had. The show separates partners into Venus and Mars locations, presuming Venus is for bottoms and Mars is for tops or they could be trying to trick us and its the other way around. The object of the game is to observe footage of their frolicking partners on another planet and guess whether the footage was real or faked for cash. The reactions were so hysterical that I stopped snoring so I could laugh. Latinos invented drama by spelling it. The first time they go into the White Room, they are shown footage of their counterparts in real or inappropriate interactions. Things get dicey when the real clips got racier than the fake ones and the tricks are on them. The test doesn't want to fix the relationship but the individual. Why does the gay couple only get one temptation? I'd expect two each, at least. The hostess is a chillmeister. The contestants were crying hysterically after watching shocking footage and instead of being motherly she pushed them to answer if they thought it was real or fake. She's the only one that got wardrobe money, too. 08-Jul-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Foreign, From Another Planet, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Reality, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Shrill Act, Squish Alert, Trashy, Twisty, Writ Funny

Filed under: TV

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09-Jul-2023


Babysitter, The (1969) Woof

The wife, the babysitter, the lesbian daughter and her friends are fucking up daddy's high profile murder case. (Father is the assistant district attorney.) The parents are nearing retirement, they have a habit of filling 24 hour schedules so they don't have to look deeply at each other. His wife won't give him any because she has a 6 month old baby. It appears she didn't want another one. She hires a babysitter every night. The babysitter is a groovy chick that understands the dynamics of life. She also understood what men wanted from her. Daddy was a man whose lack of family appreciation drives him to free himself, return to earth and gain some respect. 07-Jul-2023

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Cheeky Acting, Chemistry, Crapfun, Crime Drama, Cultish, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Relationships, Revenge, Romance, Sexy, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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07-Jul-2023


Knock At The Cabin (2023) Whimper

The first shot aspired to greatness. People sharing the same belief targeted for survival. Dave Bautista jumped off the page and ended up a Lex Luthor on some greater planet. The director doomed art with mumbo jumbo and lucky coins. I mentally conducted scenes before they happened. The kid was cute but I totally wanted her to be a M3GN. They filleted a Harry Potter veteran before his time and Ben Aldrige's identity were his well crafted legs. I'm fuzzy on his face, though. Jonathan Groff chose Edith Bunker likability as his acting inspiration, he was a dowdy housewife with the spirit of a freedom fighter. The director separated reality from conflict and ruined the whole thing. 28-Jun-2023

Tags: 2020s, Dialogue Lament, Director Insanity, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Horror, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

Filed under: Movies

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28-Jun-2023


Porn Theatre (2004) Woof

Before social media, gay men congregated in straight porn theaters for sex and sympathy. They made money, were entertained, became excited, desired, it curbed loneliness and they got to fuck some woman's husband. Drags, trans and sissy boys roamed the theater like rats, scurrying around, scoping the cheese and avoiding the light while cheese daddy sat still with his legs wide open, waiting to be licked clean for respect and/or money. Street King Daddy shit. Sex is thrust upon us. It makes the impact real. The hunt is on. Sexual simulation stimulated when real or fake. Conversations skillfully explained where the community was at. Some of the players counted how many big dicks they sucked that night. Were they given a discount? The ticket manager was a sad hetero too old to attract a fuck. She thinks that convincing a gay crush to marry her would become an arrangement they both could enjoy. I could see it as a Broadway musical. It takes very little time to establish character purpose and that's great for the film. It provides the map to how we got here. 27-Jun-2023

Tags: 2000s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Classic, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Foreign, Fresh, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Life, Political, Relationships, Sexy, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stink Wigs, Sweet, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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27-Jun-2023


Queen Charlotte (2023) Howl

The garden starts to grow as soon as we catch a glimpse of it. Characters bloom, the younglings master the post artists and the older generation is A-list. Storytelling is compact with cultural explanations and detailed mystery comprehension. When things unravel they make sense. Young Charlotte trained smartly. Young Agatha was sumptuously gifted. She gave great face. Princess Augusta wrecked as an anti-villain. Young George was a beautiful broken piece of perfection. When he didn't move he looked like a doll. Young Brimsley was the cutest thing. He did not look like his future self because one is a pocket and the other is not but he was so squeezable that I thought the blonde semi-God didn't deserve him. Queen Charlotte: half of her title is fact. Diction was created so Lady Danbury can splatter it with harmony. Beauteous, courteous fiction. 19-May-2023

Tags: 2020s, Amiable, Art, Beautiful, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Fashion, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Sweet, Touching, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: TV

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19-May-2023


Summer House (2017-) WhimperUpgradeArf

Carl's fit had him climbing uphill so we could admire his bulbous crotch. All the boys served morning bulge with Kyle supplying a little bit extra. Ciara was being a can't by flirting vociferously with that roommate's helium boyfriend. The helium boyfriend came to bed with his crotch in an elephant's trunk so Ciara could feel reciprocated. There is absolutely no reason for Paige to do any work when there are two strong black women in the room. Paige threw up when she found out that Craig was crying because he missed his mother's birthday. She cannot relate to non-toxicity. Carl didn't face his ex and put a kabash to the drama because then he might have had to smack Lindsay for putting him in that situation. Lindsay's idea of a good marriage is wrastling her alligator to the ground and keeping other vagina (meat) away from him. Chris' latest grooming trick is the Titanic wraparound. Slut. 15-May-2023
The episode reiterated that Carl is gifted with his hands. Carl's mother didn't show up because she is over fake things. That other roommate confirmed it. Danielle thinks that Spielberg is still holding auditions for West Side Story's Anita. She was part of a throuple but only wanted singularity... with Carl. The giant decided to put his hands on a more successful product and edged her out. She's devastated because she will never feel giant's knuckles again. He's putting his ring somewhere else. Is it customary to make the latin women serve white people at a proposal party? It might be if they're nuts. Trust me, it's good to keep them busy when they're coo coo. Lindsay pointed out that Ciara's red lipstick made her look like a frog. You mean like the Princess and the...? 09-May-2023
Carl asks Lindsay to be his co-dependent. Samantha joined the series to fuck. Danielle acts like she made a pinky pact with Carl. He won't marry until she's perused every man on earth. He was her back-up. Chris Leoni joined the show to see how many straight men he could turn. He's getting very close. Amanda, be well. 03-May-2023
Happy Birthday, Kyle. The giant sprayed his fumes on Lindsay and it almost knocked her out of bed. Lindsay choked on a cheeto, explaining why Carl thinks he has a big dick. Ciara found another reason to hate other women. Men. Danielle is in everyone's business because her boyfriend is busy with his own. The only way Danielle is ever going to spend more time with the chef is to work for him. She'll get first dibs at his carrot and mayonnaise dip before the staff gobbles it up. 04-Apr-2023
Dude, either the giant's hands are really getting smaller or his prosthetics fell off. 15-Mar-2023
Is dating Lindsay making the giant's hands smaller? 12-Mar-2023
Kyle had a right to voice his opinion about Carl and suffer for it, if need be. Kyle did not admit anything that Big Hands hadn't. People must suffer the consequences of their actions. The argument is solely among the men. Business has no friends. Danielle confused loyalty for reality. She spent most of the episode pissed off and snitching because she couldn't enforce how she feels to a man whose opinion matters because it is what it is. Amanda is looking 60s fresh and I'm admiring it. Chris made it Ricky Martin obvious that his bro date with Kyle meant more to him than ever seeing a chick again. The ladies have a "no ass fuck" rule. They should take the long out of term. 01-Mar-2023
I think Kyle's love handle winked at me. Mullet is a no no. Go Tarzan so I can pull it. Big hands is portraying why Ben Affleck looks miserable in public. 14-Feb-2023

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Cliche, Fake, Fatigue, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, Overcooked, Reality, Relationships, Shrill Act, Tacky, Weird

Filed under: TV

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15-May-2023


Tar (2022) Woof

Invitation to a world we know little about, so they can explain themselves in high educated detail. Before an understanding of what the music fuck they are talking about, the film shuts us out. Tar created a family, success, working friends, an orchestra and a roomful of prizes and adoration. The director spent more time educating us about the mad professional rather than explain why her private life was so robotic. Mapping a character's career to establish how their mind works keeps audience attention until the snooze button pops up. An orgasmic technical achievement to its creator but it was bupkis to the people they were trying to reach. There was a lascivious side to Tar that was lightly explored. Lady Blanchett was the interest, the talent and the launch. I would have quit earlier had she not convinced me that I would witness art. She is art. Most of her gestures were off base. Her conducting shocked me. Are we supposed to cut in before the next instrument? Tar gets accused of misconduct, her sexual proclivities locked in a bottle unlike her rage. Cate was privy to a character's truth and conveyed it to the camera. Brava! 13-May-2023

Tags: 2020s, Bio, Chemistry, Cold, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Great Acting, Lesbian, Psychological, Relationships, Star Watt, Tedium, Timid, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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13-May-2023


Peter Pan & Wendy (2023) Arf

Peter Pan's dark locks switched the light off of the character's childlike sensibilities. He is supposed to be the effervescence of youth enhanced by the sprinkle of magic dust. Neverland is a miserable place, mired by historical guilt and the fear of becoming like our parents. Jude inhabits the unruly child that goes rogue because his friend was competitive and jealous. Were they lovers? Jude gave more credulity than the tech issued and made us ponder whether the backstory would have been a more entertaining film. Tinker Bell had no sparkle. Lilly whatever made no impact. Wendy was a Young Sheldon in a dress and British accent. Magic. The reasoning doesn't make sense unless an explanation is served about the very beginning. How did they all end up in such a horrible place? 11-May-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Camp, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Fantasy, Gay Swatch, Musical Bombast, Relationships, Sentimental, Timid, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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11-May-2023


Firefly Lane (2021-2023) WoofUpgrade

Finale. The actors excelled at enriching the light fantasy with light reality. The conversations spoke, it kept the dynamics pumping and Johnny wore the worst wigs. It made my heart beat. The little engine that did. 11-May-2023
S2E10. It gave me everything I needed. 06-May-2023
A sweet dose of hospitality. 02-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Comedy, Comfort Food, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fun, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Heartbreaking, Lesbian, Magnetism, Music Rocks, Pretty, Relationships, Sentimental, Silly, Special, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Sweet, Touching, Wig Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: TV

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11-May-2023


Horror In The High Desert (2021) Howl

I don't know if I would have reacted so strikingly if I knew that it wasn't what it was. I think blind is the proper way to see it and befits the mock ending. The acting is the accuracy that sells the illusion. The words and direction built interest, tension and fright. Giving the villain an excuse was a misstep because it lets the cat out of the bag. It kicked Blair Witch's ass. 20-Apr-2023

Tags: 2020s, Best In Horror, Chemistry, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Documentary, Drama, Gay Swatch, Great Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Psychological, Scary, Suspense, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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20-Apr-2023


Night Agent, The (2023-) Woof

The lead clicks likability instantaneously, precipitating the enjoyment of the series' machinations. The Vice President's daughter is a messy princess who thinks she's cool but is treated like a boob. The carry-on luggage is at the center. She stays where you put her, she can defend herself, she will succeed if she listens to everything he says and she does all the thinking. The boss from hell was transmitting from another planet. The class of spy thriller it was trying to emulate crumbles towards the end. The soap opera lacked cum juice, TV vs Film manifestations plundered and the agent guarding her bff needed to do push ups and lighten up. To avoid looking stiff, use only what's on your face. 06-Apr-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Chemistry, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, From Another Planet, Fun, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Over the Top, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Timid, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: TV

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06-Apr-2023


Law Of The Jungle, The (2023) Woof

There's a tattoo daddy whose tattoos were written with lousy penmanship. There's a perfect Jesus. All Muscle Beauty and No Brawn is a cuddle bunny. My favorite was the gay guy who reminded me of Styles from Teen Wolf. What a good boy he was. 20-Mar-2023
The challenges were poor and juvenile. The team members were melodramatic and aggressively weak. There is a large pot of money to compete for but the show sabotages it by allowing certain teammates to steal from it. The competitors play to whatever devil grants them some money. They have hard luck stories to back up why they might play only for themselves. It's rough out there for a cowboy and his horse. It's a tacky version of Outlast with sexy guys and heart. 20-Mar-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Camp, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Entertainment, Enthusiastic, Foreign, Fun, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, LGBTQ, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Revenge, Sentimental, Sexy, Showy, Shrill Act, Spanish, Sports, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Words Spoke

Filed under: TV

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20-Mar-2023


Outlast (2022-) Howl

It's Dr. Kevorkian Island for survivalists. 16-Mar-2023
I have to applaud Netflix for providing a reality show that delayed my sleeping pill by an hour and a half because I was pissed and self punishing. Every Jesus that stepped up to compete with the psychotic nation, were cancelled. It's not like real life but it is. People that cheat (at awards, merit, talent, money, sex, love, representation and telling the truth) with expectations of fair-play, doom us. Their stories are only fake to people that avoid it, it's life to everybody else. 16-Mar-2023
S1E5. The challenges are brutal, there are no individuals to root for, some of the women in charge are vindictive shit stirrers and I can't stop watching. What is the point of having women on our team if they're going to be heartless? Where's the balance? Takeover is not equality. It's that thing that happened at the White House with the white people. 15-Mar-2023

Tags: 2020s, Abuse, Action, Camp, Daddy Squish, Drama, Entertainment, Fun, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Lifestyle, Psychological, Questionable, Reality, Revenge, Sports, Stupid Funny, Supremacism, Suspense, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Funny, Writ Tough

Filed under: TV

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16-Mar-2023




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