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All Posts Tagged as 'Gay Swatch'

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Married At First Sight Australia (2015-) WoofUpgrade

Mishel could balance on the ladder steadier if she grabbed onto reality. It is hard to live by one mentality when others won't. Men are molded by ego and sex. Daddy Steve from a children's book usurped his power by insinuating his coolness should have indicated to the experts that he deserved a twinkly and less in charge wife. I believe he tried but the email he wrote his willy wouldn't SEND. Hey, I think she's beautiful but I wouldn't sleep with her either. It never would have mattered when he said it, the reaction would have been the same. The rampage was preordained.

I wish they could find a way for Hayley to return. Happily divorced and remarried. There is young love to smash, daddy behemoths to best and she can terrorize the squirmy one with the smashing ring finger. 01-Aug-2020
Future prediction: men and women will isolate from each other until the government lottery calls their # for procreation. The women will raise the girls; the men, the boys. No more raping, violence or in-charge arguments, amongst each other. The gays will gladly step up and be the bitches men want and the mother a boy needs. Mom and dad need to get rid of the fairy tale. Y'all hate each other! 18-Jul-2020
S7E7. It imposes fairytale concoctions on vulnerable beings and grants them the consideration that anyone can get married.

The experts are new age gods matching the expectant with the inexplicable. (I kept seeing nature every time they talked.)

Looks, age, discrepancies and peculiarities don't matter. If you change your outlook, the judgment retires.

People get really seriously brutally honest.

I am spooked, clenched and devoured. 21-Jun-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Abuse, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Camp, Drama, Emasculating, Funny, Gay Swatch, Lesbian, Mean Spirited, No Chemistry, Over the Top, Overcooked, Political, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Romance, Scary, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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01-Aug-2020


Married At First Sight (2014-)  Woof

The show has outlined relations for the future.

What a man thinks when he meets a prospective woman:

"Can I fuck her?"

"Will she fuck me?"

"Opinion chatter?"

"She does."

"Business travel!"

Amelia & Bennett. The theory bangers. When the bride spoke with groom besties I envisioned a spontaneous and loving future group dinner. Bennett is a vegan and likes female hairy armpit. I hope she's crispy.

Amani & Woody. His Sammy persona tears. Too much spunk. I thought Amani daddies were a gay couple. Brute gave that boy a death grip. Amani swung her umbrella and his with ease and joy.

Olivia & Brett. He has Dracula Wives for besties and he lost the mojo to an unzip.

Christina & Henry. The shallow mermaid and that bird she's always hanging around with. It's a show for her to put on and him to swallow. Henry's father proclaimed himself eligible for PFLAG by stating that his son is being the sissy boy the present needs him to be. The rest of the family outed him further during their toasts. They pick on everyone. She'll get used to it.

Karen & Miles. Thunder and lightning. What he wants from marriage is a family to lead. When she made him rub her feet he felt so last century. 29-Jul-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Emasculating, Funny, Gay Swatch, Home Improvement, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Reality, Relationships, Scary, Twisty, Variety, Warbly, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: TV

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29-Jul-2020


Cutting Class (1989) Bites

Mental health contamination scours a suburban town with blood splatter. The kills work as an after the fact. Neither Brad Pitt's twink beauty supreme or talent could save it. (I figured out the whodunit by studying the killer's arms and hands to no avail. They ridiculously didn't match.)

Trivia: Hollywood's champion cocksucker is in it too. 18-Jul-2020

Tags: 1980s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Camp, Chemistry, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Horror, Hot Swatch, Loud, Music: Disposable Soundtrack, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Rapey, Relationships, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Timid

Filed under: Movies

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18-Jul-2020


Wild One, The (1953) Howl

Life protestors with a penchant for bling, bikes and young things invade suburbia with destruction. The cops are too tired and don't want to get involved, the neighborhood uprises in arms and their little girls arch (they too have things to protest.) Parents are losers, youth is life, old is death.

There are illusions of gang rape and rape.

The women are confidant they can slow one down.

Marlon Brando explodes into both sides of his jeans like the rebel who doth protest too much. He was the untamable man that wanted to be tamed. The epitome of fluidity and all fan desires thereof, he institutionalized the gay man mystique and cis man "rapey" acquiescence. He's an everyman. That Brando granted my celibacy a woody, especially in black and white, speaks of "legendary animal."

The privileged only hate when others are troublesome. Good for them. 16-Jul-2020

Tags: 1950s, Action, Chemistry, Classic, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Revenge, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writer's Peak

Filed under: Movies

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16-Jul-2020


Old Guard, The (2020) Whimper

PC vampires arrive in woke world. They no longer bite but still have the ability to suck.

Charlize Theron squelches her sexuality to deliver macho posturing and adds no strength to female action fabulosity. A woman who obscures her sexuality is depriving the act of confidence and beauty. She was so serious and miserable.

The gays were cute for the moments they accessorized but the corn deep throated them.

The superpowers are not enviable and is a filmic excuse to watch people bleed out.

The "big bads" couldn't scare a bird away.

The story is refried beans with lesser ingredients and the action came straight out the can. 14-Jul-2020

Tags: 2020s, Action, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Comic Book, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Manipulation, Over the Top, Preachy, Predictable, Retread, Silly, Tedium, Timid, Unenthusiastic

Filed under: Movies

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14-Jul-2020


Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-) Woof

The guests were of the masterly type. A grunt called Hannah, Bugs Bunny. That's okay. Hannah called them assholes. Oysters made Hannah hop like a service animal for the rest of the charter.

Captain got dirty.

The rocket is about to land.

Pete knows how to eat and suck on meat bones.

Kiko kicks ass.

That's a fine pretty table, Bugs. 05-Jul-2020
There's a dickhand on board.

Hannah shut the base of an Ace, handled children like flopping fish and got pied in the face.

Captain pied crew members in their face.

The men denied, apologized and mind plotted... revenge.

A rocket was launched.

Kiko did his thing. 24-Jun-2020
Hannah frightened her employee.

Lara sought battle with Hannah by scary military code.

Chef Kiko. I'd lick his plates and nothing else.

The deckhands. Something you mechanically bull ride because you're wrecked.

Neither scientist or cis straight I be to recognize that Jessica is a rocket. (Don't explode.)

Don't call her sweetheart, sweetie or any words with calories. Call her daddy White.

Captain Sandy is commanding more than a boat. Good for her. 15-Jun-2020
Captain Sandy finally twirled her balls and her skirt. 25-Sep-2019
The Flintstones put aside shenanigans to celebrate hard work but only the certified kind. Gifted is out, snobbery is forever. 20-Jul-2019
Wet snouts all season. 12-Sep-2018
I guess its okay to present a woman with an unknown penis if it has vodka in it. 18-Jul-2018
The client reference sheet for food exemplifies how the rich can add waste to the environment. 13-Jun-2018
Rules and liability specifications are locked, there's room for us to guess which crew member will fuck up the hardest and the first clients were "Plantation Rich" (they think having money means they pay for enslavement.) 16-May-2018
Highlights include a lady captain and a lamentable pup, love-thrashed by a pocket siren that exhumes growls and sniffs from the male crew. Hannah quips her way through most of it but then succumbs to the lunacy that all are indulging in. Kate, your turn. 16-Aug-2017
It's everything the initial is yet augmented in the unbalanced crew department. The commander seems perplexed by his spiky helpmates and we shall be banqueted until our brains too become unhinged. It's a preferable fix to the housewives and it fulfills AHS: Asylum munchies. The hottest is the most baked. 30-Jun-2016

Tags: 2010s, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Cooking, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Inappropriate, Mat, Real, Shrill Act, Special, Squish Alert, Suspense, Tacky, Twisty, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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05-Jul-2020


Eurovision Song Contest (2020) Whimper

Brother/sister romance tackle art and temptation at a song contest.

Will Ferrell's character's age kept gnawing at me. How old is he supposed to be? How old is his sister? His father? Ferrell plays the eternal kid that refuses to wear big boy britches even for comfort. Ours.

Rachel McAdams deserved a singing partner.

Dan Stevens left it at the Abbey. He should go pick it up.

I knew it was Demi Lovato before I saw her. It was the screaming.

The music is way too silly to enjoy, coming in constant waves of annoyance. I don't care what the rules are, sing it live. Too much? 01-Jul-2020

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Comedy, Director Slouch, Drama, Gay Swatch, Grating, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Retread, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Timid, Unfunny, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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01-Jul-2020


Love, Victor (2020-) Arf

E6-10. Performer TV IQ is high enough to rise above the suds, convey the right emotions, make us addicted and not drown from the weight of the soap. 18-Jun-2020
S1E5. It observes and overprotects its subject. It theorizes that problems only graze and that all people are inherently capable of understanding. Fables only grant the curious teen, added hurt on their venture. I'd rather tell it, solve it and not wait for the miracle to happen. 17-Jun-2020

Tags: 2020s, Amiable, By the Numbers, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Drama, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Manipulation, Political, Predictable, Relationships, Star Watt, Sweet, Timid, Twinkie, Wit Snit, Writ For Short Attn Spans

Filed under: TV

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18-Jun-2020


House of Flowers (2018) HowlDowngrade

S3. They smeared dark paint and punched holes into what could have been a masterpiece. Everything we cherished was punished, everything celebrated, got cursed and everything funny, nagged. The backstory was a cheap attempt to keep us interested in the life of a woman that presently doesn't exist. It's hurtful and pointless. Everything gay has become annoyance and everything Paulina De La Mora has been shredded. The only thing left is the frame. 29-May-2020
Scouring the family axis with joy. 02-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Elegance, Foreign, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Relationships, Romance, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Tacky, Tired, Twisty, Wit Snit, Writ Tough

Filed under: TV

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29-May-2020


Goldfinch, The (2019) Whimper

Boy suffers the loss of his mom, who dies in an explosion, but gains a piece of priceless art. Sarah Paulson has a moment as a bimbo and Nic adds an elegant presence to an adoptive mom but the characters have no foundation for any actor to stem from. The boy, in particular, acts as the scene needs, not as his character would. Ansel achieves a spark because he's trying to understand it as much as we are. It's a hard sell because the mystery doesn't amount to a life altering choice, it just is. A sweet sentiment with absolutely no sugar. 26-May-2020

Tags: 2010s, By the Numbers, Chemistry, Cold, Conspiracy Theory, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Inactivity, Mystery, Silly, Star Watt, Tedium, Too Long, Unenthusiastic, Vague, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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26-May-2020


Dead To Me (2019-) Woof

All coincidences aside, its power resonated from the word, the emotion and the performance. Ms. Applegate rocketed to combustion. Good job. 20-May-2020
I was riveted by Christina's triumph in irritation and kickback, profiling an uneventful marriage founded on the success of falsehoods. James Marsden illustrates the beauty of an asshole. 30-May-2019

Tags: 2010s, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Heartbreaking, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Overcooked, Relationships, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tough, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: TV

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20-May-2020


Camp Getaway (2020-) No MoonsEarly Exit

It needs a serial killer. 13-May-2020

Tags: 2020s, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Discomfort, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Grating, Insulting, Juvenile, Out of Place, Reality, Relationships, Sexist, Shrill Act, Silly, Static, Tacky, Warbly

Filed under: TV

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13-May-2020


Third Day, The (1965) Arf

Can a man become an enlightened human if an accident causes him amnesia? Not if your mug is still wanted for murder.

George Peppard is grand business daddy, never demurring from blankness while still eliciting great face.

Elizabeth Ashley was privileged bitch wife, with an redemptive opportunity for love and a zestful beauty of another.

Sally Kellerman knew how to turn it on and shut men down.

Mona Washbourne elicited comic wit relief and parental heartbreak.

Roddy McDowell. The best cocksucker in Hollywood actually had other talents.

Arte Johnson crept trying to put a creepy face on a "love me" persona.

Music. It sounded like every summer blockbuster score rolled into one.

It's sumptuously over, to guiltily enjoy. 11-May-2020

Tags: 1960s, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Elegance, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Relationships, Revenge, Romance, Sentimental, Sexy, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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11-May-2020


Never Have I Ever (2020-) BitesEarly Exit

Female driven fairytale of teen empowerment. To obtain such merit, a girl must prioritize "the shortcuts," suppress the lower stereotypes, pounce on a superior royal animal and have it grant her that royal fucking that will liberate her. (So, all girls think.) I don't remember kids talking like this, I hope kids aren't talking like this and I definitely hope they don't start. One episode of unawareness, lack of emotional study and an honest laugh, had me bolting. In fairytales there are no lessons without a witch.

Niecy Nash glimmered gingerly. 08-May-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Comedy, Cultural, Drama, Early Exit, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, Maddening, Manipulation, Out of Place, Overcooked, Political, Preachy, Predictable, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Tired, Unfunny, Warbly, Writ For Short Attn Spans

Filed under: TV

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08-May-2020


Summer House (2017-) Whimper

Every party is a cleanse for every dream that wont come true. 07-May-2020
Truth party games. Wow, they really work.

The girls are friends again until the next bout of horniness trumps it. 01-May-2020
The green giant has sexual dysfunction and old people getting it on, is sick. 23-Apr-2020
Had no idea there was clamor for more. It's back to the future where we get to see grandpappy hook-ups in real time. "Me too" is a charity, feminine wiles are an exaltation, closets are for sex not coming out, women love big things, men are horny and crass mugs that only hold intelligent conversations whilst on the hunt and remain stupid after they fox it. I have no idea what they represent but my generation is enthralled and disturbed. 13-Mar-2020
A band-aid of happy endings. 29-Jul-2019
The gay got replaced by a floaty and a scary virgin. The elders are not aging gracefully and the show has gone from being my chore radio to white noise. When you watch reality TV you get to experience the damage our parents wrought. 23-Jul-2019
- Supreme Ken Doll (Kyle) needs to explore why he prefers living in a blur
- Waiting is a virtue (Amanda) - only if you know what you're waiting for
- Lindsay realized that change only happens when you apply it to yourself. Good for her
- The salt (Danielle) was overtaken by hot peppers (twins)
- The inactive (Stephen) needs to divert his hostility towards his parents. They are the reason he can't move forward
- The blistering giant's (Carl) self awareness allows him to take from life easily 19-Jul-2019
In season two they added salt to mild, endowed the gay with a bitch rap and the desperation from separation (relationships/careers) was dialed up a notch. Stephen needs to accept his het counterpart like he'd like to be. If he's really a friend he would appreciate Carl's flamboyance and his disregard for what people think of him. Hotness attracts men. Hot shit spills over. Unless you only have eyes for him...that's a different problem. 15-Jul-2019
It does stereotype well. Twins are still annoying, blondes are vacant, the gay needs an apron, the ex-fatboy is out for revenge and the women still have no clue what's flashing in a man's face. The man knows. Mind boggling. I may become obsessed by it or immune. 12-Jul-2019

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Cliche, Fake, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, Overcooked, Reality, Relationships, Shrill Act, Tacky, Weird

Filed under: TV

Permalink

07-May-2020




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