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All Posts Tagged as 'Gay Swatch'

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90 Day Fiance: The Other Way (2019-)  Woof

Cultural traditions must be adhered to and celebrated even it if its barbaric (sacrificing living things,) sexist (putting women in their 50's place,) ridiculous (lets you mutilate baby dick,) uneventful (a Korean wedding) and joyless (the whole world) or else. It's a preparation for life. What exactly? Eating sand? Ariela is Rosemary caring for her baby but incapable of realizing any of her confessionals. Biniyamman is the poser who can't keep a wife or a child and has recruited a tribe to conquer or possess this one. When Ariela yelled enough, I felt the powders flutter away a bit but she's going to need mom to get the rest off. Yazan is fuckable danger. Blondie got divorced. Woohoo! Armando and croak daddy had their first recorded fight. Daddy America resented that Armando was spoiling his daughter with his money. He also wondered if they plotted nasty things behind his back while talking in Spanish. WTF? Yes. Daddy Croaks is locally offended that he has to live in Shrekland instead of Poppinland. Don't worry daddy, everything will appear clear as soon as you meet the younger cousin, friend or stranger that will save you from your current predicament. If I fell for Sumit's lies, I'd be Jenny. I never want to be Jenny. Deavan and Jihoon. She's the dreamer that thinks a waiter is a man. He's the bedwetter that gets what he wants. She's the glue that moves none of them forward. They quieted mama Korea. That was unfortunate for the truth. 26-Oct-2020
When discussing your future marriage with a child it should be in private. The child never looked at the croak but he hung by like the predator posing no threat but clutching every thread. A child is owed privacy so you can make sure that what your kid says isn't calculated or inculcated. The croak bore magnificent children until the smell of Mexican penis rode him to faraway lands where the suffering has been non-stop. That does not constitute authentic parenting. I was in the child's situation and the adult situation. I put a spell on the first so he wouldn't enter my room and my forever stepfather cast a mommy spell to evict him from our apartment. Y'all stink except the kid. Brittany get's the prize for performing the most idiotic goof ups on another person while keeping them interested. She's Blondie from the comics. They had sex. He's never had it so willing and he's hooked. Tim needs to fuck Melyza's mother to get even. Biniyam's sisters are scary. Keep them powders away. 19-Oct-2020
The more comfortable some people get in their relationships the more it depreciates for us. Brittany. I can't. Ok. Her mother looks great. The Ariela "car scheme" was bitter but Biniyam's fake expressions of concern were disconcerting. Sumit pretended to fight with his parents to insure that a marriage between him and Jenny never takes place. Tim can go home now. He's looking the fool with every humiliation Melyza serves. What's next, she's pregnant by another man? Ken's daddy card has been switched to a library card. Instead of supplying support to Armando during family distress he worried how he was going to be perceived. He really has some American cojones. It's the kid's family and problem. He should be able to resolve it without shoving a croc's face into it. It's the new American telling foreigners how to live except it sounds like the old one. Armando loses major dad points for paying his burden little mind. Every single person is full of themselves for no apparent reason. 12-Oct-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Comedy, Cultural, Dating, Drama, Gay Swatch, Incomprehensible, Maddening, Over the Top, Political, Psychological, Relationships, Shrill Act, Thriller, Travel, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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26-Oct-2020


Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-) Howl

Reunion. It was Hannah sabotage. All political and aesthetic arguments were won by women. They had Hannah to blame for everything, even how bad the chef's food tasted. The ratched was demure, the captain was tuna of the sea, Andy zipped his body into a zippo in case anything got mistook and Jesus was pushed aside like the God no longer required. Welcome to New Poseidon. 19-Oct-2020
The rocket liberated Jesus so others could worship him. Mistake. A goddess that begs on her knees and turns her tears into oceans is not worthy of his majesty. He's an experience not a flight. Deck Ratched should be commended for steering the boat and controlling her hen (Chef Fuck.) Alex was commended for being a nasty fuck that cares. Bugs is efficiency. Aesha is a jolt. Captain Sandy gets an outstanding pretense award for wishing Chef Fuck and Ratched well when Ratched had already confessed to her how she was going to dump him, whilst snogging in bed. (It's called Gaydar.) 12-Oct-2020
Aesha had a priceless reaction to the rocket's complaint that no one is allowed to touch pretty jesus butt during group photos. Aesha never heard of relationship confinement rules but she complied with the goddess' request and snorted to the audience. "My friends and family do it all the time, what would I do with his butt anyway, I don't have a penis," or something like that. Deck Ratched gave Chef Fuck an ass rubdown and he flitted about for the rest of the charter. 07-Oct-2020
When someone questions another's sexuality for provocation she probably does it because they want it, have tried it and want it again. Malia may not be a lesbian but she dates sweet n' low. Chef Fuck couldn't do a thing without deck Ratched. The captain was content just to find another dick to kick onboard now that dickhand was chained up. Alex was asked by empowered women who his boat bitch was as dickhand rattled his chains underground and cried for help. The pretty one decided that his Jesus skills could impart horny rich frumps to bump the tip and maybe make Goddess cancel that Bali trip. Aesha is a social worker. She basically bonked out because there were emotions and jealousies oozing from the rocket's mouth. "That bitch is crazy, relationships don't look like that no more. Google it." 28-Sep-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Brutal, Camp, Celebrity, Chemistry, Comedy, Drama, Emasculating, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Horror, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Lesbian, Maddening, Overcooked, Pitchy, Political, Reality, Relationships, Shrill Act, Silly, Suspense, Tacky, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: TV

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19-Oct-2020


Haunting of Bly Manner (2020-) Woof

It takes us to the same places so many times that we can figure out its outcome. I wondered if surprises would have popped more often if told in sequence. I understand that black women don't want to be maids but the commitment level for a realistic character needs to make sense. You don't wear designer clothing to clean a mansion. The mop was taken away from the maid and passed to a child and the vacuum didn't really stay on. How the fuck did she clean a mansion all by herself? Very good performances keep it chugging but the art hits the wrong part of the brain. The lesbians finally have their "Titanic." Hooray! 17-Oct-2020
S1E2. The premise is hauntingly decadent. The bullshit has been cast aside to allow the mystery to breathe. Victoria Pedretti as the caretaker of cuties doesn't stifle, always persists and treats the children to a fantasy world of security. The babies are made of sunshine overexposure and creepin' fuckery. T'Nia Miller's character is, so far, underwritten but her soliloquies are ardent. Henry Thomas is putting his superior experience to use. Before I realized it was him I thought it was Colin Firth. Good job, my boy. As soon as Miss Gugino enchanted a wedding party into partaking in a nine hour drunken haunted folk story, she had the upper hand. She slithers her words to make women uncomfortable and make men wet. It's not as complicated as the other one made itself and I trust it. 12-Oct-2020

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Elegance, Funny, Gay, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Rocks, Mystery, Overcooked, Predictable, Psychological, Relationships, Representing, Romance, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Touching, Tough, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful

Filed under: TV

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17-Oct-2020


Little Girl That Lives Down The Lane, The (1976) Woof

Girl home alone. Dying dad bestows his daughter home security and life skills that would allow her to survive until adulthood. Alexis Smith plays the ultimate Karen whose landlady suspicions arise at a most inconvenient time and whose spats with Miss Jodie are powerhouse. (The slap was everything.) Martin Sheen was so realistically slimy as a predator that I had to imagine it was his spawn's "Charlie character" from Two & Half Men. When you acquire power from self reliance, self love and luck, only the broken and the animals will be able to understand you. Miss Jodie doesn't quiver, exudes superior knowledge, bitches like an equal and demands the respect of a girl who wants to live in the house that daddy paid for. 04-Oct-2020

Tags: 1970s, Baby Wrecks, Brutal, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Great Acting, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Political Satire, Rapey, Relationships, Sentimental, Suspense, Touching, Twisty, Violent, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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04-Oct-2020


Married At First Sight (2014-) Howl

S11E12. Memories. Tree Banger expressed joy at being matched with a jungle woman. Banger Jungle roared and squelched like that funny actress on Wonder Woman 2 with shittier effects. Woody continued his act. The wife may be slaughtered when unable to scream. What the fuck does that mean? He fucked up my channel. If Freddy had designed nightmare wet dreams Brett would be in all of them. Olivia is a dream that awakens despair. I could have strangle fucked the bird and he would have said, "now you're getting it," as the mermaid holds a ray gun to my head that stuns dick. Miles and Karen. Miles, in my hood, you would have arrived at satisfaction, received a polish and a topper, a perfect manicure and a shave and wet worship manhandling. He would return having sacrificed enough joy to deal with her. 02-Oct-2020
The experts supplied the duos with the "Know You" quiz I invented five years ago and we got to know them better. Women are going to have to decide if the switch of power is suitable for male/female relationship success. Men are displaying feelings, getting insecurities, are depressed and vagina does not like it. They've become sensitive mothers with no wombs. They wont dare go near one unless she writes "yes, please!" on their chests. Woody transmitted porn vibrations and a hurtful soul. Amani played along with him. They discussed getting a dog with Woods not wanting one and Amani demanding one. Same solution as with the kids. She gets a dog and the kids get smacked every time they don't pick up after it. Scuttle opened up to the ocean and the mermaid and she tail thrashed him. I felt bad for him. It's not her fault either. Everyone deserves to get who they want. The mismatch almost seems like a producer in-joke. Olivia called out Brett's sarcastic look, talk and breath. She "officially" proclaimed he was Jekyll in front of the camera and Hyde behind it. He answered every question like a male escort, drank a shark drink like it was real and ate his taco like it was Olivia. Karen's constant belittling of Miles sexuality makes it seem she needs to check her own. Miles sperm dried up when the expert suggested they take sex off the table. Dude, run! The expert's disdain for cats was a detail I wished I'd miss. After it attacked her, she shooshed it away real polite and ratched. Banger wife re-attached a friend's finger after the Tree accidentally cut it off. I hope she flossed before the operation. Safety first. 24-Sep-2020
Daily routines were observed and only sarcasm relayed the truth. Amani spits toothpaste onto your hair. Woody awakens like a senior and avoids the night like a feeble. Olivia startles awake and Brett arises perfect. Tree Banger coyly called out wifey for a lack of cleanliness but she didn't bite. She's the breadwinner and he is the service. Case closed. The mermaid princess got together with another couple and ate Sebastian's grandchildren. Scuttle (the bird) spent half the time standing and perching. Amani attempted to have Scuttle confide in her but besides babbling about how impatience scares him, there wasn't much for Amani to capture from birdspeak. The princess was not amused that he thought her rude to her subjects. The bird, who never talks, complained about her lack of communication. They rethought things and decided the attention and cha-ching that may follow will be worth the marriage. To my chagrin Scuttle compared himself to a turtle. I blurted, "really?" His face twitches 50 times before a turtle blinks and are the feathers there to hide his shell? Brett attracted gay woodies at a rock climbing event then played "Trivia" at a bar with Olivia and her friends. The questions went over his head, he became surly and uncooperative exclaiming that what they were playing wasn't trivia. Wife was overcome with weakness, stepped out and had a meaningless conversation with her friend about how he doesn't want to be a part of them. I was team Brett all the way. The game was shit and the friends were condescending. Woody and Amani discussed child whipping. She was against it and he was raised with it. Of course, he acquiesced but thought...fuck it, a slap and a threat when she's not around, they won't tell. Executive decision yelled rape with a but. I have no understanding of her type. By proclaiming to be so empowered she has become the weakest bride. If you need to pay someone to show you what closeness is, you're a robot. Let the daddy loose or fuck his brains out. You only live once. 17-Sep-2020
Hollywood dating was in effect. Karen and Miles went food shopping. I would have picked up Popeyes before heading home just to annoy her. Executive Decision (Karen) declared foul once again. She can't deal being matched with a girl. What kind of bulls are in this woman's life? Daddy just wants some bear hugs, teet tweaks, a yank and maybe a pull. As soon as daddy put his sex foot forward, she yelled rape. She's not suitable for human contact. The Bangers went slacklining. I would have pulled out my scissors and cut the line but this couple is about celebrating every stupid little thing. The banana tree broke peer sex pressure and popped the wife which lent him "I can do better" arrogance as he regaled her for being unkempt and undutiful. He also chose space instead of her. That'll teach her not to clean the bathroom. The bird taught aquatic maiden to golf and a human tried teaching them to dance. I wondered if his head whips spontaneously back and forth during oral service. Olivia and Brett went on a Republican alligator expedition. Brett was especially upset when he realized there'd be no alligators attacking the boat or his wife. Stupid and funny reactions were enabled with an addendum stating Brett would be honored to push his wife out of a plane. 09-Sep-2020
The couples prepared for company. Brett called Pastor Cal a dik and went missing for hours. Next day he returned to celebrate his marriage to a nurse practitioner with free access to drugs. Party time. Brett compared his wife to Nurse Jackie and gossiped to his friends that there was a lot of big dick in Mexico. The Bangers played house. Tree Banger rocked some jack-o-lantern cotton as his head made a great wick. The aquatic princess couldn't think of a favorite childhood food even though she's a mermaid and was cooking fish. The Dracula wives made a return to authenticate that their bff was the best victim a woman could ask for - without the sex part. Karen softened to the idea of their being some Perry in Madea. The village partiers "sex bashed" the men that weren't measuring up. The chants in favor of rape were horrific. Do you want him to pull your hair? Yes, that would be nice. Choking. If he knows the safe word, yes. Will you let him say the first word? Absolutely! Can you beg to push things along? Absolutely fucking not, I'm still a woman. Rape. 02-Sep-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Abuse, Adorable, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Cliche, Comedy, Comic Book, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Discomfort, Drama, Emasculating, Fantasy, Fatigue, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Home Improvement, Maddening, Manipulation, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Political, Psychological, Relationships, Shrill Act, Suspense, Warbly, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ For Short Attn Spans

Filed under: TV

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02-Oct-2020


Boys In The Band, The (2020) Arf

The original was about mean queens celebrating a birthday whilst eviscerating each other. The remake tones down the queen and ups the hostility and humiliation. This is a most difficult success story to digest. Jim Parsons gobbles it up like it's the last dick he's gonna suck, Charlie Carver gets to squirt but not emote, Matt Bomer exhibited his ass and it was riveting and Zachary Quinto wore an afro sheen wig. It all isn't nicety and rainbows in our community and it elaborates on it without resolving it. The black band member did not walk out when his friend uttered the "n" word towards him and he didn't walk out when he sang it to him a second time. Friends do not call each other that. It would be over. This is where you insert daddy Ryan's skewered politically correct irrationality and award a character some self-respect. It depicts the hellish parts of the gay community that is always shining in the dark and slams your head against the wall with it. 01-Oct-2020

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Depressing, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Life, Mean Spirited, Political, Relationships, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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01-Oct-2020


Nurse Ratched (2020-) Woof

Finale. Daddy Murphy and co. told me to fuck off. The pieces of art they were building got torn down, the unexplainable released the story from reality and the artists arthritic attack did not allow them to finish with a master stroke. Bummer. 29-Sep-2020
S1E7. Judy Davis titillated, Paulson skyrocketed, the doctor (Jon Jon Briones) scratched, Charlie Carver was endearing and Amanda Plummer itched.

One more to go before I tell Daddy Ryan to fuck off. 28-Sep-2020
S1E6. Jennifer Salt excused the dik crammed in Finn's butt to let some of the air out. He performed a beautiful Hitchcock sex scene. Cynthia Nixon demanded respect and got it. Judy Davis giggled. Jon Jon's doctor is a character whose death we are looking forward to. Nurse Dolly needed to remain stupid and fan worshipping to make the crime saga pop. Vincent D'Onofrio Jacked Nurse Ratched with just one word. Paulson's close-up had me holding on to my chair whilst Daddy Ryan felt me up. You motherfucker. 26-Sep-2020
S1E5. Paulson continues to polish her art. Judy Davis steals it by being the most ratched. Cynthia Nixon exudes a mature woman's warmth and dangerous idolatry. Finn Witrock looks yummier but somebody fucked the "it" out of him. I hope its just bad direction. No offense directors. There are beautiful spaces, delightful scenes and a Hitchcock orchestration that makes us swoon but I still don't see what this Ratched has in common with the ultimate Ratched. (I never imagined ultimate Nurse Ratched being "cute" in her youth.) 24-Sep-2020
It's not really Nurse Ratched it's more like a dichotomy of the Atelier lesbian Playstation game series. Rorona, Sophie and Atelier Esha are some of my favorites. It was always the same character with a surgically unblemished witch. That's what I need to tell myself to accept the sumptuous surroundings and the opulent cast. It's been prettified, sensationalized and horrified. I was impressed by the first episode and confused by the second. Is Nurse Ratched supposed to smirk at the camera? Nurse Ratched is a horror not a horror film. Is women empowerment a threat? Do we report it? Sarah Paulson serves it elegantly, poisonous and charmed. Judy Davis flambeid, Finn Wittrock dislocated himself, the eye of Murphy distracts but it also expands and disintegration occurs. The Hitchcock tunes are seductive. Change her name and we might be cool. Nurse Karen? 21-Sep-2020

Tags: 2020s, Bad Acting, Beautiful, Camp, Chemistry, Costume, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Director's Touch, Drama, From Another Planet, Fun, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Great Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Music Rocks, Psychological, Special, Star Watt, Suspense, Thriller, Weird, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tough

Filed under: TV

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29-Sep-2020


Emmy Awards (2020) BitesEarly Exit

Kimmel could have been cheaply portrayed by any muppet from Sesame Street and Anthony Anderson wouldn't have made Elmo take a knee for being inappropriately funnier than him. The comedy was Blue's Clues challenging and hostility safe. They found three drag queens to applaud for RuPaul as long as they were not in the same room. Everyone had observations as to how we can continue to give them a great life even though they suck up most of it. I tuned out as soon as the Queen Mother of Greed honored Madea for inspiring Drag Race. Really? Of course, I tuned back in for super daddy Succession and mama Zendaya. Maybe a little longer. People are angry because the rich keep celebrating things and doing nothing. Thanks for the sign but can you shove one less spoiled kid with a special price tag in my face? I'm not gay enough for Schitt's Creek, not butch enough for Killing Eve and not girl enough for Normal People. The show only confirms that I will see the end of the world. Congratulations, winners! 20-Sep-2020

Tags: 2020s, Abuse, Awards, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Cliche, Conspiracy Theory, Creepy, Drag, Fake, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch

Filed under: TV

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20-Sep-2020


Married At First Sight Australia (2015-)  WoofUpgrade

If I weren't still hungry from dinner, I would have puked my brains out. For some reason we need to digest the current season like an antacid. The best liars snatch it, the most compulsive insult it, the most demure destroy it and anyone with a useless dick gets slaughtered. That's all I could devise through the loud Disney orchestra. 18-Sep-2020
Auditions were revealed. Michael has "a type" he likes to torture. Lucky for brunettes (except Hayley) and diversity. Rainbow Connection (Drew) doesn't want to unite with material affection (KC.) Drusilla is less gruesome as a blonde but not as a person. She splintered Thor's hammer. Connie has to be a beneficiary of the Bates Motel. She came on so she can utilize the provided acne treatments that are working marvelously but not endearing her to the hostage. Give Korak a break. He didn't vine through the wilderness to marry Leah Michele. Hades (the expert) left the God clouds to deliver Pandora's box filled with lame curiosities and firecrackers lobbed at Steve. Steve expected Tik Tok and got Yahoo. That's expert quackery. Steve and Korak don't want to offend their women. They want to bestow them a sense of self so when they get dumped they can courageously move on. Not also means no. 10-Sep-2020
Steve finally caved to all the sexual harassment and obliged Mishel with some affection. Daddy bedded her with his little friend Teddy and it was cute. Mishel complained to the girls that he didn't grab anything worth a molestation charge. Male etiquette is to feel up whatever lays next to them. Mishel will regain her powers when she realizes it was her decision to make not his. The surprises were meant to have Michael shit his pants but it looks like he drank them away. New memories forgotten. A marriage nemesis returned. Thank you.

I almost forgot. Korak's mother made him a shirt out of jungle baby diapers. 28-Aug-2020
The experts torched Steve for not grabbing free pussy. It's part of the experiment. Connie broke the couples' hearts by displaying the vulnerabilities that get your partner bullied. Even Michael empathized. When she threw down the Korak imprisonment card, it felt a little psycho. Haha heehee hoho. 27-Aug-2020
Drusilla's family attempted to shove Thor's hammer up his butt but all he did was turn Red Hulk. The couples attempted to stake Drusilla at the fact check dinner for sinking her teeth into everyone's marriage. Korak was chastised yet again for flipping on vines that don't land on Connie. He admitted no attraction to her as his peers snipped at what was left of his dick. Steve was bullied for considering Mishel a friend. If women continue to pressure men about sex, rapey assholes will presume they asked for it. 21-Aug-2020
Oh no. It looks like Steve texted the mafia sexline. Wifey homesteads were a dick shrinking female gangbang, raping hubbies for not reaching a solid woody for their family member. Mike realized Stacey is a Bravo housewife lost on a different channel. Drew took a bullet and admitted how men really feel about botox. All KC wanted was for him to pretend that she was as special as she pretends him to be. The unhealthy connived Thor into getting a unity tattoo. He put it somewhere his future girlfriend wont look. Korak (Tarzan's boy) was held and questioned severely by the Karen squad. Mishel's amazons served the best spread and conducted the most adult conversation. Mama whipped it up and defined it. 20-Aug-2020
Aleks and Ivan scooted before more truth warranted it. Vroom. Vroom.

Thor did a Terminator imitation and brought his hammer to school to show the teaching experts and opinionated students the beautiful but unhealthy bride it slammed.

Jonethen was chastised by the group for complimenting Connie and admitting his willy doesn't want to greet her. The only truth a woman wants to hear is the best lie a man can concoct to make fairytales come true.

KC and Drew. Drew's teddy rainbow collection received support.

Mishel and Steve are the cutest right now. Maybe he can, maybe he will. If they do, please enjoy it. 14-Aug-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fun, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Maddening, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Scary, Sentimental, Shrill Act, Suspense, Thriller, Tough, World

Filed under: TV

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18-Sep-2020


Trolls World Tour (2020) Woof

Stomach ache candy and toxic individuality. It's B.C. and origin celebration that children can't apply to this generation. We descend from pods and no longer recognize individuality. You can try but the color will be swiped out of your candy. Its message is barbaric but its delight and bewitchery force us to "suck it." 13-Sep-2020

Tags: 2020s, Animate, Camp, Cultural, Cute, Director's Slice, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Good Voice Act, Music Swings, Over the Top, Repetitive, Sentimental, Wit Snit

Filed under: Movies

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13-Sep-2020


90 Day Fiance: The Other Way (2019-)  Woof

With one little tap, Jihoon expressed to Deavan's brat what he would do to her if the cameras weren't around. Armando celebrated the unity of his newfound gay family. They are protective and supportive of him for as long as father and American hypocrisy allows. Brittany's fame whoredom is deadly. Why can Yazan's family find Brittany nasty pics but not her marriage license? If Sumit doesn't need family permission to fuck, he doesn't need them to get married. Fuck off. 01-Sep-2020
Jihoon's family presented very well. Grandmother was especially open. Korean mother taught her "idiot daughter in-law" how to make a feast for a family celebration (they bring money.) Deavan challenged the cook but Korean mother laughed and sliced her way through the conversation and discontinued the lesson.
 25-Aug-2020
Worshipping family hierarchy and the religion it boasts does not enrich the lives of their country or its people. It just keeps them chained together in misery.

Mother/daughter splintered Jihoon's ears after he was incapable of saving Deavan's brat. A woman cannot shuck her responsibility because there is a man present. Considering modern woman can do "everything," loafing all day and critiquing how a man should perform should allow her enough time to look after her own kids. Mama Korean kept checking on baby Jihoon to make sure he wasn't crying and to make sure her powders were working.

Daddy business proposal and his ilk harangued Armando on flaming out to his parents about engagements and public displays of affections. Armando seemed incapable of catching his breath while they piled the same questions, over and over. Sorry old man. You're in foreign country, problem solving is a difficult application, white privileged assholes disappear all the time and you want to buy some courage?

Brittany. Stop it. Good run but the fifteen are up. Her scenes remind me of Hostel.

Ariela needs a head start. "Run before the sisters bounce all over you." 18-Aug-2020
Armando's stimulus check arrived early.

Tim continued his "I don't fuck no more strange pussy" campaign to the chagrin of Melyza's father who wanted him cancelled. Melyza spoke of the importance of parental approval then dismissed it as soon as they didn't agree. The woman just wants to see Tim hurt.

The fabulist was upset because Yazan didn't tell her she had three days to become a muslim or else. The married lady threw a fit, daddy threw his macho out, the parents fitted her ankles for chains and they all lived happily ever after.

Deavan's mother lectured Jihoon on being less of a man. She slugged hugged him after he agreed to do better. He ouched, felt fear and and bored hate right through her. Mama Korean raced home to mix special powders to get rid of that perception. 11-Aug-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Comedy, Cultural, Dating, Drama, Gay Swatch, Incomprehensible, Maddening, Over the Top, Political, Psychological, Relationships, Shrill Act, Thriller, Travel, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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01-Sep-2020


Married At First Sight (2014-)  Woof

In order for a woman to sit mightily on her throne, the man she bestows knighthood to must bend at the knee. The effect: with no training or heroes to emulate the men choose to cease and desist (they aint fucking.) The opportunistic molester will always grab and persist but the rest of the men are scared.

Woody does not want to be married to a "warrior woman." Karen is still not attracted to her wife. Tree banger lives in a tiny house and banger wife lives in a tree. Olivia declared that travel is the key to human preeminence. Yes, because that instantaneous joy that recedes upon return will sustain a person during "starvation days." (Maybe if she fucked her husband - before someone else does - it would feel like a trip.) Does the bird really live in a bird house? 26-Aug-2020
The mermaid nosedived as the bird perched steadily on a board in the water. The mermaid tried to fry-cook another wife's bird.

Brett is such a horny man he can fuck his wife. She only gets holidays off. Olivia can expect a future filled with hookers and babies. Brett squirms so much I saw his toilet face. Olivia spoke about her constant need to stay in touch with friends and family. Brett reaches to no one, not mother (esp. not her,) not anyone, except maybe his cat. His reaction to her insistence was a fuck-off to her friends and family followed by a villain grin for the camera. He spent too much time talking to pussy and not real people.

Somebody stepped on piss, all week.

Karen could not accept her husband's mental illness. She had such a perfect childhood. No trauma that would make anyone protest on any street. It's not manly. Only girls and sissies get it. She didn't sign up to marry a woman. When she grouped with the wives, she started slashing into her new "wife" but Banger wife stepped in and interrupted. Lady diva worries too much. The beast will come out as soon as she makes him depressed.

The Bangers. The wife needs to comb her hair as many times as she flosses.

The group session was awkward for the men and resentful for the women. The white husbands squirmed in unison when asked to mathematize their relationships. 19-Aug-2020
I pictured Brett saying "that fucking bitch" before and after every sentence. "I loved that fucking bitch. That fucking bitch cheated on me. I forgave that fucking bitch. That fucking bitch cheated on me again. I hate that fucking bitch. I'm so lucky to be married."

Calling your wife a cougar is just a polite invitation to a bedroom dinner. Karen complained that 10 monogamous relationships was too much for a 26 year old man. I've had ten relationships in one month. No need to worry. It means he meets the demand for 11 women.

Woody's fingers shrunk in the pool as well as some thing in the shower, later. Woody also thought it was cute that the Banger tree swam with his junk out in front of Amani. Weird is the new sex offender.

The mermaid princess hawked her bird into deep waters, environmental waste and wobbly streets. He failed at all of it. When he literally flapped his arms, it made my day. 13-Aug-2020
The mermaid is a pisser and the bird continues to flap involuntarily and very quietly.

The bangers and their respective families are competing to weird us out.

If Brett's face and body moved according to the sound of his voice, I'd believe everything he says.

Woody's mask is hiding the devil inside. 06-Aug-2020
The show has outlined relations for the future.

What a man thinks when he meets a prospective woman:

"Can I fuck her?"

"Will she fuck me?"

"Opinion chatter?"

"She does."

"Business travel!"

Amelia & Bennett. The theory bangers. When the bride spoke with groom besties I envisioned a spontaneous and loving future group dinner. Bennett is a vegan and likes female hairy armpit. I hope she's crispy.

Amani & Woody. His Sammy persona tears. Too much spunk. I thought Amani daddies were a gay couple. Brute gave that boy a death grip. Amani swung her umbrella and his with ease and joy.

Olivia & Brett. He has Dracula Wives for besties and he lost the mojo to an unzip.

Christina & Henry. The shallow mermaid and that bird she's always hanging around with. It's a show for her to put on and him to swallow. Henry's father proclaimed himself eligible for PFLAG by stating that his son is being the sissy boy the present needs him to be. The rest of the family outed him further during their toasts. They pick on everyone. She'll get used to it.

Karen & Miles. Thunder and lightning. What he wants from marriage is a family to lead. When she made him rub her feet he felt so last century. 29-Jul-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Emasculating, Funny, Gay Swatch, Home Improvement, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Reality, Relationships, Scary, Twisty, Variety, Warbly, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: TV

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26-Aug-2020


Lifelike (2019) Arf

No budget for a decent stage play less a good film but it has substantial ideas for us to ponder. Wifey woke awakens to sudden glam because daddy could do better inherited it. She is not comfortable commanding staff, feels it is beneath the help's heritage and fires them. (It's a mansion.) After an unreasonable time of daddy doing all the hard work he schemes to get her a robot. (Gay holler at the male choice.) The film does not succeed in creating the perfect robot but it creates the illusion of the perfect being. The explanation for maintaining robot/human boundaries is to not reach hoover or vibrator status or worse, love. The daddies whipped strenuous body muscle, the threesome was a two sided tango, the twist was great and it deserves off-off broadway respect. A tighter story and better effects would a Hollywood blockbuster make. 17-Aug-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Idea, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Political Satire, Relationships, SciFi, Sexy, Silly, Suspense, Tacky, Timid, Twisty, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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17-Aug-2020


Married At First Sight Australia (2015-) WoofUpgrade

Thor hammered Drusilla (Buffy/Angel) into place. She was the hostess with listening skills.

When women unite its for solidarity when men do is to wreck. If Michael attacks vagina the way he did Aleks I can see why Stacey stayed a bit. For every ball that popped from a man's zipper there was a female clipper on standby. The boys didn't win because their time is never but they broke her enough to make a girl out of her.

Mishel and Steve served some Kanga and it was sort of cute if you're there but cringey watching from home. I entered Steve in the gay freebies league. We hand out exclusive bjs to needy fit seniors, celebrities and straight men. All done by text. (Yes, Michael gets a discount.)

Creep racer used his mates to rev Aleks up but all it did was bring forth how fast or creepy he may be. Whatever the problem, the X marks the same spot. Eek.
 13-Aug-2020
The wives were sideswiped by hubbies, families and friends. Drew, from the rainbow toy collection, arched his back in pride as KC was blasted by his mother monster. The toys exist to entertain his dates. Ivan turned into a creep racer and Aleks woke up. Mishel needs to allow Steve time to switch his sexual identity towards her or not. No more talking. Seb sliced Lizzie's unhealthy appearance which he fixed with a bone rub and a kiss. I can add privileged to Stacey's hub slime. If Jonethen doesn't watch out, he'll accidentally enter Connie because of that foot in his mouth. She doesn't understand. Run. 07-Aug-2020
Mishel could balance on the ladder steadier if she grabbed onto reality. It is hard to live by one mentality when others won't. Men are molded by ego and sex. Daddy Steve from a children's book usurped his power by insinuating his coolness should have indicated to the experts that he deserved a twinkly and less in charge wife. I believe he tried but the email he wrote his willy wouldn't SEND. Hey, I think she's beautiful but I wouldn't sleep with her either. It never would have mattered when he said it, the reaction would have been the same. The rampage was preordained.

I wish they could find a way for Hayley to return. Happily divorced and remarried. There is young love to smash, daddy behemoths to best and she can terrorize the squirmy one with the smashing ring finger. 01-Aug-2020
Future prediction: men and women will isolate from each other until the government lottery calls their # for procreation. The women will raise the girls; the men, the boys. No more raping, violence or in-charge arguments, amongst each other. The gays will gladly step up and be the bitches men want and the mother a boy needs. Mom and dad need to get rid of the fairy tale. Y'all hate each other! 18-Jul-2020
S7E7. It imposes fairytale concoctions on vulnerable beings and grants them the consideration that anyone can get married.

The experts are new age gods matching the expectant with the inexplicable. (I kept seeing nature every time they talked.)

Looks, age, discrepancies and peculiarities don't matter. If you change your outlook, the judgment retires.

People get really seriously brutally honest.

I am spooked, clenched and devoured. 21-Jun-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Abuse, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Camp, Drama, Emasculating, Funny, Gay Swatch, Lesbian, Mean Spirited, No Chemistry, Over the Top, Overcooked, Political, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Romance, Scary, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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13-Aug-2020


Golden Blade, The (1953)  Woof

Arab tale about a magic sword giving the wielder a purpose. It cuts through metal and gay Superman (Rock Hudson) brandishes it. Piper Laurie (Carrie White's mother) exudes royal female liberation and useful beauty. She gets involved. Jafar is the big bad of Baghdad, the action is well choreographed and the production is fun. It has good thoughts on women and establishes men can't live by their swords. They break. The politics are outdated but who gives a fuck. Nobody likes shit on their popcorn. 13-Aug-2020

Tags: 1950s, Action, Action Fun, Camp, Chemistry, Classic, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Over the Top, Revenge, Romance, Sexy, Star Watt, Suspense, Tacky, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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13-Aug-2020




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