TV Posts Tagged as 'Gay Swatch'
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You (2018-2025)

Joe Rosenberg is little boys raised to woo a woman like only a fake prince could. Male awakenings are destructive and mentally detrimental. The premise simplified things to improve characterization. Good choice. A happy marriage to a foreign twat and reunited with a relinquished child, Joe is living the life of a planner, pioneer and romanticist. The wife has secrets and Joe has plenty of funny quips to unlock them. Joe's flubs were used to diminish his endurance as a famous serial killer. He was brushed off. Bringing people back from the dead, unless it's Ripley, Xena or Buffy is detrimental to reality. Women need an army to bring one man down. That kind of man is not so easily bested. Meet and greet could have been more casual, less criminal and more romantic. Ms Camp steals and saves a lot of her scenes. Pen went there and was brilliant. His breakdown was cathartic. The ladies reinforced that what restrains a man isn't himself but a notion. My finale would have consisted of him going Jason Vorhees on everybody without the mask, a bare chest, naked, weopanized and killing to the max. 10-May-2025
It gassed up, almost made it out of the parking lot, but got blindsided by a food truck. What is the commonality between the women Joe obsesses over? They are very different. At least now he can afford to buy more cages. 12-Mar-2023
S3E9. The dork talks to dead people, now? It's a lazy writing gimmick. Who's bankrolling the fancy cages? Why is the entrance to the cage not padlocked? How do people shit in that cage? Shouldn't they, at least, be wearing diapers? Why do all movie assholes like to be tied up? Greg Kinnear seems to be the only one that understood the assignment. 12-Mar-2023
I heard it gets better but the 2 new episodes I watched seemed like they ran out of gas at the CW parking lot. 12-Mar-2023
It's indifferent to the story. Joe is surrounded by people that are too cliche to make fun of. He is being uncharacteristic, it made me forget what his fetish is and he has no equal match. 19-Feb-2023
Psycho settles into suburban madness. The psychology is rewritten to fit a desperate suburbanite. Pretension is the clarification of ascension. Psychos don't have bouts of good feelings. If they do it's the reason they're killing. Silence as I listened to Penn Badgley make me laugh, hurl and cum. Respect to Victoria Pedretti's restraint as a frustrated woman. Shalita Grant filled her empty cup. Travis Van Winkle enshrined it. Dylan Arnold needed more daddy laps. Tati Gabrielle was feathery. Daddy Speedman needed Dylan Arnold to sit on his lap. The whole was to make a monkey out of me. I love that shit! 02-Nov-2021
Leave it to California ("the Hellmouth") to turn a serial into a romantic victim. The pyschology was bi-polar and the disentanglements were happenstance and charred. I'm not excited to see a third season. 31-Dec-2019
The thrill of the cum trampled by a kick in the balls. The delicacies of love entrenched by intrinsic mind bending. Badgley steals the crown structuring the depth of his humanity and indignation. 20-Apr-2019
Four Seasons, The (2025-) 

S1E1. Great artists sharing the same space is never a bad thing. The characters were written for sketches not filmdom. They were stereotypes. Not all boys need to feel like a girl to be gay and mostly predators have boyfriends with thick accents. I love Tina but she was a whisper. Domingo's entrance broke my spirit and I never recovered. The accent on his lover was too much. Less inflection was not considered? I couldn't hear super daddy Carrell because Will Forte was acting mad circles around him. His nervous energy made me nervous. Whatever they were trying to convey was lost on me. Maybe a live audience would benefit it because I couldn't find a reason to hang on. 06-May-2025
White Lotus, The (2025)

I celebrate Mike White on his merits, introspective moments, overall arcs and emotionally violent closures. Patrick had daddy dna and Tom Cruise energy. Lek established herself legendary by being unforgettable. The tooth fairy sprinkled fairy dust and allowed me to relax in her vulnerable world. Goggins ignited me when he played trans with luscious boobs and biker milf status. His best performance moments were in his eyes and his beautiful teeth. Parker Posey was its biggest draw but was saddled with a shadowed ending. Jason Isaacs has super daddy capabilities. Every time I saw him I wanted to throw him down and suck his daddy pain away. The besties grew but didn't resolve. I'm glad momma had a happy ending but she could have reached that goal by selling her son. He was gorgeous. Valentin had phony act charm that kept him fuckable. Gaitok's becoming was heartwarming. The big mystery: she's alive isn't she? 08-Apr-2025
Mid-Century Modern (2025)

My elder generation dedicated a lot of time fighting for stereotypes like this to be abolished. The new generation thinks this is an honor. Nathan Lane is camping for Broadway, not television. There isn't a lot of time to establish characterization. It's a fable about the almost departed, living together pretending everything is hunky dory when it's not. Lavin and Lane were misdirected, the black queen is a cliche best not spoken, the theme seems out of date but the ass/leg candy combo made me hungry. Nathan Lee deserved better than a Tootie redefinition and Bomer needs more nude scenes not extra stupidity. Dorothy would be insulted. Blanche would say "get out of here!," Sophia would say, "it stinks!" Rose would play dumb. Stan would convince them to turn trans mid-season for a money tree and a subscription to free cheesecake. 01-Apr-2025
Squid Game (2021) 

S2 is missing something. Impact. A feeling of exhaustion permeated and interrupted some of the proceedings. The games didn't rivet, the cast was stereotypically goofy, compassion was limited and sense started to drag. The ship shenanigans didn't have closure or purpose. I presume the save will be last minute in S3. Thinking you can overtake a heavily guarded facility is ludicrous. In life I doubt that a majority of people would choose to die. I wanted to see people go home. Why doesn't anyone hook up? A grab and a rub here and there wouldn't hurt. How do the men deal with morning wood? I'm losing empathy. 04-Jan-2025
If you can't afford happy things, you become bitter, if your are unable to provide, you become addicted and if you can't eat, you die. It's called poverty. A group of instinctual individuals are given the opportunity to have their financial struggles resolved. They have to play children's games that are only safe in rhythm but not rhyme. If you lose, you die. If you win, it's a lot. The characters are specific, writing is a brainstorm and the whole is an abundance of I've never seen anything like this before. 07-Oct-2021
S1E7. The VIPs were from Palm Springs. 05-Oct-2021
S1E4. I am petrified and addicted. 01-Oct-2021
Designing Women (1986 - 1993)

The characters are strong, the funny keeps you laughing, the writing was pensive, passionate and controversial, the originals were fabulous and a black man in a girl's dress is always funny. Once Suzanne and Charlene depart the sizzle and purpose is gone. A talented trio of actors become shadows of the characters they were replacing without a voice of their own. The fatter Delta Burke got the funnier she became. You can feel the antagonism in the writing though. She was saddled with savage criticism and disdain but her talent was her shield. We could have done with less Julia fits but nobody could sell it like Dixie Carter. She was legs, elegance and conviction. Annie Potts liberated herself and her character. She sounded like she could give birth to a McConaughey. Jean Smart aced dumb and won our hearts. The last two seasons are somber and desperate. TG Alice Ghostley and Mr. Taylor are there to be irreverent and hilarious. 30-Dec-2024
La Palma (2024)

I was invested until the end. The characters had depth and appeal but made little sense. In what world do children overreact because their parents are arguing? Teens don't give a fuck. I didn't understand the rift between mom and dad. He promised to acquiesce to her regiment but chose happiness instead. She dreams of a proper dick that can soothe her needs and hubby acknowledges that by drinking 3 vase beers every night. What's wrong with that? Autism should never be utilized as a gimmick. No regular person would ever figure out those coordinates. They would die. Fake comebacks are exhausting and disrespectful to artists who actually wring emotions out of concept. A disaster movie without climate deaths is like Godzilla with no breath. The parting of the ocean was only seconds. You can't be edgy or effective if the description is it's like Swiss Family Robinson without a budget...or deaths...except that guy in the back. 24-Dec-2024
Marriage Is Blind: Habibi (2024-)

The ladies voted and it was unanimous. The only traditions they want to uphold are the ones with parties. 19-Oct-2024
The men are all manmeat and the ladies are fantasy dolls. It's a dazzling community that does everything different because their transition is just a facade. Women are embracing it like the fable served to them by the universe that is rarely achieved. They want to be women of the now but the strength of man and family holds them down. They can only look the part. The men gain might by sticking to traditions that don't assist either sex in marriage. She roams his castle in chains. He roams the town tying females up. They are not allowed kissing, fondling or co-habitation which suffices for an interesting working vacation but not love. The sexes fall in love at a rapid pace. They have a script written and they're going to play it out no matter the expense. Jealousy is a big thing because they're always horny and there is always another Barbie or Ken to fantasize about. A man demands that his future wife not be a dancer, a Barbie treated her fiancee like she was being paid, women have a better sense of identity than men, women want to fly and men only want to fly a kite. There is fun to be had when the ladies awaken and the men get spit upon. Educational incredulity in a very nice package. 18-Oct-2024
Monsters: Menendez Brothers (2024)

The end road was chock full of accomplished performances. Mr. Lane tapped into heartache and regret and transmitted it to the audience. It was sheer strength. Leslie Grossman found a character that matched her skills like a glove. She was fun. Chavez built as his character progressed. A little askew, unsure but learning. The "cry" bit was genius. Koch appeared wallflowered but eager to surprise. He wore those glasses like Joan Crawford would, with confidence. A very capable group of actors. A hurricane of thoughts strikes briefly to annihilate jury members' votes. It was compelling. I didn't recognize her but there was something about the voice, legend and talent that felt like home. When I realized it was Ms. Lawrence I applauded. The final flashback back-pedaled all the emotions and perceptions that transpired. My vote didn't matter because they figured it out for us. The idea that the parents were blameless because their crimes were invisible does not free them of guilt, sin or karma. The only fact I'm sure about is that the eggs wouldn't have cracked if the parents hadn't laid them. 26-Sep-2024
S1E6. Art no longer belongs to the creator once someone else experiences it. It evolves, balloons then remains stagnant. The brothers are handsome and well-cast. The constant affection between them signified an unbreakable bond. Paying attention is necessary to reap the benefits of arcs and surprises. Sevigny is so accurate in her portrayal that she becomes as lost in the story as the real mother did in life. Good work. Javier is a beautiful monster that masters gut wrench and authority. Episode 6 was, so far, the best. The sex, abuse, the heritage, the privilege and mental enslavement were given honest and heartfelt consideration. It was the first time in a long time that I felt akin to characters that represented me. (It's not always about color, most of the time it's about shared experiences.) Brilliant direction and colorful words added to the episode's crescendo. 25-Sep-2024
Bachelorette, The (2003-)

A neither would be most welcome. 30-Aug-2024
Dude, these guys are creeping me out. 30-Jul-2024
Aaron left. Of course she did. 24-Jul-2024
I hope this child has a lot of protection. How do you choose among wolves? Aaron is representing the LGBTQ community. Devin is all mouth. He can please casting but can he woo a woman? Should he even try? Hakeem has never watched an episode of the Simpsons. Jonathon looks like the kind of guy that would fuck your brains out until he gets Britney's number. Sam has a very pretty face. What's his sexual problem? Everyone acts like their agents taught them how to act. I pity the fool. 18-Jul-2024
Love Is Blind Mexico (2024) 

In some cases it has to be. Neither sex display longevity skills.
She: Can he afford rent?
He: please be fuckable.
She: I lied in the pods about the quantity of children I have. Will he still babysit?
He: I hope she doesn't smell.
She: how dare you!
When my mind drifted I visualized an even faster and tackier method of hooking up. A gloryhole. The boys stick it in whatever sounds good and whichever female produces first will officially get married on live TV. The contestants are bold and calculating. I've endured 3 proposals and I'm not even done with ep. 2. Man cannot control woman unless he marries her. 11-Aug-2024
Love Island UK (2019-) 

Women are pursuing these motherfuckers because there is a cash prize at the end, correct? I don't remember Reuben. There was nothing to latch onto. Josh must choose to be blacker or whiter. Yes, I had a doll that looked like Blade. Hugo combs his hair in reverse. I bet Konnor is a fantastic one nighter. Will must be hung. Joey is a doll. Sean is Jimmy Oleson. Ayo, we pray for you. I would have barbecued Trey like he was a lobster. Moziah reeks of beauty and nature. Ciaran has too many identities going on. 11-Jul-2024
Boys, The (2019-) 

Besides the maestro, Starlight's rejuvenation was my favorite thing. 22-Jul-2024
Homefucker took twitch to its ultimate, grew from it and became remarkable. Someone invited Smirk to the party so he can curse it? He's still smirking away and sounding like a condescending cunt. The twist befits him like a glove. Yes, I would submit to his gravelly words and old man charms. Is that all A-Train or are there other plastics involved? Nice. Mama's Milk has the right amount of daddy issues. Kimiko and Frenchie are still a power couple even though Frenchie has accent disabilities. Star watt. Starlight's abilities were stifled. The series made me realize that Karl Urban can be fun. Quaid can get away with a lot. Sage was waiting for this all her life and she's acing it. The Deep is reenacting some personal memories. Respect. There are stalling tactics that defy reason. The enemies keep bumping into each other but nobody keeps the promise to slaughter the other. One explanation should suffice. Nepo Homelander is sending Damien vibes. Anthony Starr has a grip on us. 12-Jul-2024
Twitch daddy twitch. 24-Jun-2022
The season belongs to daddy Homefucker. 24-Jun-2022
Shue clenches frustration devoutly, Starr chomps evil gleefully and the end punctuated surprisingly. 26-Aug-2019
Graduating superheroes to the next level...consequences. 17-Aug-2019
Bridgerton (2020-) 


Colin loved Penelope like a brother and took passion out of romance. She should've courted Eloise, or at least, Genevieve. A lesbian wedding a must enjoyment. Polly Parker convicted herself as a single woman having to do it all. Two daughters are spoiled and the other lives on social media clouds. Polly turned a villain into a worthy victim and the daughters were hilarious. Cressida is a character for the ages. Madsen slipped into gregarious outfits and ate evil little bitch as a protein. She was awesome. Nicola supplied the right amount of blood. I think Bailey was wasting his humps on a pillow. His wife checked out. Easy fix. She transforms into a man and returns as the beautiful black prince from the first season. The wife wont get fired. They can dedicate a season or two to exploring how she became. I will have a squish party if the boxer comes out or disrobes (not in front of the wife, of course.) It transports us to a beautiful, outlandish, artistic world. 19-Jun-2024
S3E5. The only bump I want to see is on Jonathan Bailey's bum. Colin did not eat Pen like a french pastry and she didn't knock the salt off his pretzel. Intimacy skied into sibling fuckery in frozen waters. He needed to tongue her down, squeeze and suck the shit out of that bounty and impress her and us with Bridgerton "John Holmes" dick. Excellence returned with a sense of humor. Mama and daughter Bridgerton need to swap partners. One deserves a virgin and the other is boring. Can Will Mondrich come out too? 17-Jun-2024
Interracial coupling was not natural. Mrs. Bridgerton didn't freak out and the daughter didn't scream rape because he was dainty, dark and didn't like to talk. 28-May-2024
Are we ever going to see a man work? The owner/bartender doesn't count. He only serves drinks when he's there which is rare. 28-May-2024
Season 3. The most edible one needs to stop the presses. Is it always going to be about the denial that hate is love, marriage is a must and density will guide the way? I mean't destiny. I'm disappointed. The black talent brought it up a notch. Lowering it would have added character depth. "You wowed us." "Provoke me to empathize."
28-May-2024
Season Two was as beautiful as one of Lord Bridgerton's ass muscles. Queen Charlotte. Lady Danbury. Lady Bridgerton. Lady Portia. Eloise. Pen. Wigs. Costumes. Romance. Moooah. 30-Mar-2022
S1E8. A woman wraps up the marriage contract when she can birth a good shank to serve the round table. Men like ideals in women's heads so that our explanations make sense to them. It was brotime, sweetie! They took the cultures out of the equation. We judge them individually. Every actor willed good force. It was fun, it was camp, it was time and we're in it. The ending was delicious and I'm trading the duke in for the boxer. The duke has an "I'm so pretty" snarl. The other looks like my camper. Good job. 28-Dec-2020
S1E7. Mid-thru is an explanation of how black culture became elite. I bought it. The series needs more scandal and debauchery though. I'm replacing yes, daddy with yes, duke. 27-Dec-2020
S1E2. Not necessarily the show I want to binge on after mother telling me my black is white but it's Shonda so I'll give it a go. The shock of seeing black empowered gentleman and ladies of the pre-Victorian era makes my brain explode with fact check assumptions. I don't because I want to accept it on its own merit. Most of the cast whistles, foams and pours whilst the rest couldn't get out of their modern heads. The business at hand is to score the most pristine and delicate virgin hopefully with fine manners (a "yes girl") to fulfill a man's dream of future family and success. A woman's power is to profit from the business, band and thwart any mismatch that might bring a daughter harm and make sons proud. Shonda adds her sight of man appreciation, Shondaspeare fast talk and on your knees intrigue. I remember Nicola Coughlan because I wanted to eat her like she ate that cake. She's delicious. The picture for myself didn't get any clearer because I'm watching black people pretending to live whites lives. It makes the future modern brain wonder what the hate was all about. 26-Dec-2020
Summer House (2017-) 


Reunion Pt. 1. Dude, Carl has Ozempic neck. Ciara confused a fuck for a marriage proposal with ten kids. Whatever Wes is hiding must be inside his underwear because the part in his hair reminds me of a barber shop quartet. Lindsay and Carl are both liars except the giant slayed his prey with one cancellation. Why wasn't Robin Hood sitting on Amanda's lap? Isn't his ass worth it? 07-Jun-2024
Paige schooled Ariana DeBose on what a mentally challenged slut is. Is Robin Hood aware that we can flip him like a pancake and concentrate on that instead? Ciara kissed the aioli and didn't throw up. Gabby's problem is that she can't hit someone. Ariana DeBose? Bravo is not like BET. Carl needs to know that he can also be flipped and motor boated from behind. 27-Apr-2024
Ariana DeBose can replace Danielle and nobody would notice. Can Ciara please stop pretending to like white people? Can Lindsay stop pretending that there isn't more to her and the balloon guy than previously suggested? Is she diddying him to other girls? Is Amanda unaware that any man would eat and massage Robin Hood's ass if he asked? Is Lindsay aware that anybody would motorboat her giant, without asking, because of his hairy thunder thighs? 15-May-2023
Is dating Lindsay making the giant's hands smaller? 12-Mar-2023