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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Gay Swatch'

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Little Girl That Lives Down The Lane, The (1976) Woof

Girl home alone. Dying dad bestows his daughter home security and life skills that would allow her to survive until adulthood. Alexis Smith plays the ultimate Karen whose landlady suspicions arise at a most inconvenient time and whose spats with Miss Jodie are powerhouse. (The slap was everything.) Martin Sheen was so realistically slimy as a predator that I had to imagine it was his spawn's "Charlie character" from Two & Half Men. When you acquire power from self reliance, self love and luck, only the broken and the animals will be able to understand you. Miss Jodie doesn't quiver, exudes superior knowledge, bitches like an equal and demands the respect of a girl who wants to live in the house that daddy paid for. 04-Oct-2020

Tags: 1970s, Baby Wrecks, Brutal, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Great Acting, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Political Satire, Rapey, Relationships, Sentimental, Suspense, Touching, Twisty, Violent, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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04-Oct-2020


Boys In The Band, The (2020) Arf

The original was about mean queens celebrating a birthday whilst eviscerating each other. The remake tones down the queen and ups the hostility and humiliation. This is a most difficult success story to digest. Jim Parsons gobbles it up like it's the last dick he's gonna suck, Charlie Carver gets to squirt but not emote, Matt Bomer exhibited his ass and it was riveting and Zachary Quinto wore an afro sheen wig. It all isn't nicety and rainbows in our community and it elaborates on it without resolving it. The black band member did not walk out when his friend uttered the "n" word towards him and he didn't walk out when he sang it to him a second time. Friends do not call each other that. It would be over. This is where you insert daddy Ryan's skewered politically correct irrationality and award a character some self-respect. It depicts the hellish parts of the gay community that is always shining in the dark and slams your head against the wall with it. 01-Oct-2020

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Depressing, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Life, Mean Spirited, Political, Relationships, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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01-Oct-2020


Trolls World Tour (2020) Woof

Stomach ache candy and toxic individuality. It's B.C. and origin celebration that children can't apply to this generation. We descend from pods and no longer recognize individuality. You can try but the color will be swiped out of your candy. Its message is barbaric but its delight and bewitchery force us to "suck it." 13-Sep-2020

Tags: 2020s, Animate, Camp, Cultural, Cute, Director's Slice, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Good Voice Act, Music Swings, Over the Top, Repetitive, Sentimental, Wit Snit

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13-Sep-2020


Lifelike (2019) Arf

No budget for a decent stage play less a good film but it has substantial ideas for us to ponder. Wifey woke awakens to sudden glam because daddy could do better inherited it. She is not comfortable commanding staff, feels it is beneath the help's heritage and fires them. (It's a mansion.) After an unreasonable time of daddy doing all the hard work he schemes to get her a robot. (Gay holler at the male choice.) The film does not succeed in creating the perfect robot but it creates the illusion of the perfect being. The explanation for maintaining robot/human boundaries is to not reach hoover or vibrator status or worse, love. The daddies whipped strenuous body muscle, the threesome was a two sided tango, the twist was great and it deserves off-off broadway respect. A tighter story and better effects would a Hollywood blockbuster make. 17-Aug-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Idea, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Political Satire, Relationships, SciFi, Sexy, Silly, Suspense, Tacky, Timid, Twisty, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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17-Aug-2020


Golden Blade, The (1953)  Woof

Arab tale about a magic sword giving the wielder a purpose. It cuts through metal and gay Superman (Rock Hudson) brandishes it. Piper Laurie (Carrie White's mother) exudes royal female liberation and useful beauty. She gets involved. Jafar is the big bad of Baghdad, the action is well choreographed and the production is fun. It has good thoughts on women and establishes men can't live by their swords. They break. The politics are outdated but who gives a fuck. Nobody likes shit on their popcorn. 13-Aug-2020

Tags: 1950s, Action, Action Fun, Camp, Chemistry, Classic, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Over the Top, Revenge, Romance, Sexy, Star Watt, Suspense, Tacky, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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13-Aug-2020


What Keeps You Alive (2018) Whimper

Brittany Allen has a face you follow especially when great material meets her. Psychopathic danger presented for lesbians and personifying all women. Talking it out before every kill and expressing feelings that don't make sense has returned to cinema. The film flashes to the threat so quickly that its fallback is to drag and repeat. The director didn't shake the camera for bumps and the cutter had no guts. I admired the video twist and the cruel kill. I return to Allen because when all other characters drained, it was her face that maintained me. 11-Aug-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, By the Numbers, Camp, Crime Drama, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Horror, Lesbian, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Revenge, Silly, Star Watt, Suspense, Timid, Writ w/Possibilities

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11-Aug-2020


Desiree (1954) Woof

Napoleon was so thirsty for power he siphoned it from women. Engaged to be married then dumped to marry someone else, Desiree is the woman whose might didn't impress him. Jean Simmons keeps us following but she doesn't grip the strength of the character until the end. Marlon Brando refused to depict the emperor as a short, hand in pocket, general bore. Brando concocts a Venom accent, swags in unforgiving outfits and mandates media attention. The film is beautiful with impeccable costumes, empirical sets and daddy galleries. Watching is as easy as hating social media. I was curious and enrapt but I had to search on Wiki what wasn't explained in the script. The bombast was great but who are these people? What I read was absolutely fucked up. I would have filmed that. 10-Aug-2020

Tags: 1950s, Big, Chemistry, Cultural, Director's Touch, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Hoofer's Delight, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Over the Top, Political, Pretty, Relationships, Romance, Star Watt, Suspense, Touching, Vague, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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10-Aug-2020


Cutting Class (1989) Bites

Mental health contamination scours a suburban town with blood splatter. The kills work as an after the fact. Neither Brad Pitt's twink beauty supreme or talent could save it. (I figured out the whodunit by studying the killer's arms and hands to no avail. They ridiculously didn't match.)

Trivia: Hollywood's champion cocksucker is in it too. 18-Jul-2020

Tags: 1980s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Camp, Chemistry, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Horror, Hot Swatch, Loud, Music: Disposable Soundtrack, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Rapey, Relationships, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Timid

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18-Jul-2020


Wild One, The (1953) Howl

Life protestors with a penchant for bling, bikes and young things invade suburbia with destruction. The cops are too tired and don't want to get involved, the neighborhood uprises in arms and their little girls arch (they too have things to protest.) Parents are losers, youth is life, old is death.

There are illusions of gang rape and rape.

The women are confidant they can slow one down.

Marlon Brando explodes into both sides of his jeans like the rebel who doth protest too much. He was the untamable man that wanted to be tamed. The epitome of fluidity and all fan desires thereof, he institutionalized the gay man mystique and cis man "rapey" acquiescence. He's an everyman. That Brando granted my celibacy a woody, especially in black and white, speaks of "legendary animal."

The privileged only hate when others are troublesome. Good for them. 16-Jul-2020

Tags: 1950s, Action, Chemistry, Classic, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Revenge, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writer's Peak

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16-Jul-2020


Old Guard, The (2020) Whimper

PC vampires arrive in woke world. They no longer bite but still have the ability to suck.

Charlize Theron squelches her sexuality to deliver macho posturing and adds no strength to female action fabulosity. A woman who obscures her sexuality is depriving the act of confidence and beauty. She was so serious and miserable.

The gays were cute for the moments they accessorized but the corn deep throated them.

The superpowers are not enviable and is a filmic excuse to watch people bleed out.

The "big bads" couldn't scare a bird away.

The story is refried beans with lesser ingredients and the action came straight out the can. 14-Jul-2020

Tags: 2020s, Action, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Comic Book, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Manipulation, Over the Top, Preachy, Predictable, Retread, Silly, Tedium, Timid, Unenthusiastic

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14-Jul-2020


Eurovision Song Contest (2020) Whimper

Brother/sister romance tackle art and temptation at a song contest.

Will Ferrell's character's age kept gnawing at me. How old is he supposed to be? How old is his sister? His father? Ferrell plays the eternal kid that refuses to wear big boy britches even for comfort. Ours.

Rachel McAdams deserved a singing partner.

Dan Stevens left it at the Abbey. He should go pick it up.

I knew it was Demi Lovato before I saw her. It was the screaming.

The music is way too silly to enjoy, coming in constant waves of annoyance. I don't care what the rules are, sing it live. Too much? 01-Jul-2020

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Comedy, Director Slouch, Drama, Gay Swatch, Grating, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Retread, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Timid, Unfunny, Weird

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01-Jul-2020


Goldfinch, The (2019) Whimper

Boy suffers the loss of his mom, who dies in an explosion, but gains a piece of priceless art. Sarah Paulson has a moment as a bimbo and Nic adds an elegant presence to an adoptive mom but the characters have no foundation for any actor to stem from. The boy, in particular, acts as the scene needs, not as his character would. Ansel achieves a spark because he's trying to understand it as much as we are. It's a hard sell because the mystery doesn't amount to a life altering choice, it just is. A sweet sentiment with absolutely no sugar. 26-May-2020

Tags: 2010s, By the Numbers, Chemistry, Cold, Conspiracy Theory, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Inactivity, Mystery, Silly, Star Watt, Tedium, Too Long, Unenthusiastic, Vague, Weird

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26-May-2020


Third Day, The (1965) Arf

Can a man become an enlightened human if an accident causes him amnesia? Not if your mug is still wanted for murder.

George Peppard is grand business daddy, never demurring from blankness while still eliciting great face.

Elizabeth Ashley was privileged bitch wife, with an redemptive opportunity for love and a zestful beauty of another.

Sally Kellerman knew how to turn it on and shut men down.

Mona Washbourne elicited comic wit relief and parental heartbreak.

Roddy McDowell. The best cocksucker in Hollywood actually had other talents.

Arte Johnson crept trying to put a creepy face on a "love me" persona.

Music. It sounded like every summer blockbuster score rolled into one.

It's sumptuously over, to guiltily enjoy. 11-May-2020

Tags: 1960s, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Elegance, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Relationships, Revenge, Romance, Sentimental, Sexy, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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11-May-2020


Sunday Bloody Sunday (1971) Arf

Stagnant study, of a woman and a man sharing a relationship with a twinkster. The rules are the same no matter the generation or the politic. The bird marches on the streets of beauty, protesting the disparity of life while ignoring the feelings of those around him. His fluidity grants him power to cross pollinate and be voraciously welcomed by those of privilege whose lack in life is progressive. To the woman he brings sexual fulfillment and purpose, to the man, a sense of accomplishment and pride. Youth ping pongs between them like the parents he needs right now, not the lovers he'll end up with, later. Birds must fly as parents must contend with surviving on memories. Children and family are an aside that contain the most life. The children annoy as much as delight, smoking drugs, having fits, asking complicated questions, noticing sexual things and killing dogs. 06-May-2020

Tags: 1970s, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Political, Relationships, Star Watt, Subtle, Tedium, Timid, Vague, Words Spoke

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06-May-2020


Lighthouse, The (2019) Woof

A psychology whose study is based at its present moment. Dafoe arghs and puffs with superiority and a seasoning of humanity. Pattinson is learning, maturing and blowing things up. A beautiful coupling. 03-May-2020

Tags: 2010s, Brutal, Chemistry, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Inspired, Magnetism, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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03-May-2020




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