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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Gay Swatch'
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Twinkster disinherits himself from family business after father is injured on a boat. He wants to prance around at home and live a gay lifestyle but poverty is on the horizon and evictions are forthcoming. The twinkster becomes a cabin boy and a hero on his way to becoming a man. The mystery is well plotted, it connects with very simple realities, trials await all who become men and only little orphan/stowaway girls have the experience to kick it like a man. 16-Jul-2021
Barb And Star Go To Buena Vista (2021) 
Unusually mild comedy about 2 "glue factory" pals realizing they can live life and talk at the same time. Wiig has difficulty transferring her TV magnitude to the big screen but her amiability is intact. McLendon adds bitchiness to her evil. Pretty boy Dornan had me checking for Alzheimer's and wanting earplugs every time his accent veered. The musical numbers fell flat due to lack of training. The only line that made me laugh was about Florida smelling like Red Lobster. The rest was a grab bag of immature silliness. It's not about anything. It's a Sesame Street friendship. 10-Jul-2021
At no point did I strum for Johnny when Joan was the instrument. She cowboy'd up, accomplished some manly maneuvers, looked great, flicked her own and sent the lesbian and her male posse out to the western stratosphere. Pazuzu from "The Exorcist" (Mercedes McCambridge) was the town Karen, interfering in bisexual woman's business by inciting a mob of lawmen to protect the town from unclassified hedonism. Battle ensues as the lesbian pretends she has a soft spot for one of Joan's goons. "Bitch, there's only one man in the room and her name is Joan!" 08-Jul-2021
Infertile wife visits an edgy clinic that promises results. Pierce Brosnan is the mad doctor whose business is to entertain women's fantasies. He's handsome, sketchy, with warm hands and a little bland. A snapchat into his perversion only made him normal. Justin Theroux was the pretty butterfly in the room. Ilana Glazer was miscast. She is not the type of woman to conform to a sexy suburban lifestyle, least of all, have friends, especially with that hair. Ms. Glazer seems like a representative of more important things. It's a scientific Rosemary's Baby without the devil or the scare. 27-Jun-2021
Two pretty young things are arrested for vagrancy and swimming naked on a journey to Hollywood. Judge Judy gives them a choice, work on an agricultural farm or go to prison. Bubbleheads decide to pick cotton. Cotton pickers are rare and farmers are using the prisoners to make a profit. The farm is run by a Red Superman that enforces more than he preaches. He unleashes killer dogs on pregnant teens, serves them dog food, dehydrates them, kills, terminates, rapes, blackmails and threatens. Yet, every night, after picking cotton all day and eating dog food, the all gender prisoners find a way to perform a rock n' roll number. Red Superman is secretly married to Judge Judy. Judge Judy's gorgeous son starts working on the farm and catches the eye of the younger sister. Gorgeous son becomes weary of commandment and investigates. Judge Judy is plastered with red dick. She knows nothing. The musical numbers scream immediate cancellation but the performers look so good pushing it. Mamie Van Doren was a sex gift that calypsoed. She worked her butt off entertaining the boys. Is it historically credible that only white people, hispanics and lesbians committed all of America's crimes? The lesbian was a pisser. Puff prison pulp fun. 20-Jun-2021
Broadway legend destroys many lives by extinguishing her commitment to a producer/lover. She's in love with a big nosed romantic, wants to change producers and to take risks in her career. Love has changed her. Angelina's so giddy that she makes amends with her nemesis and promises to return Brad to her. She plots a clean break but reality throws a curveball. The mare and the stallion have a violent showdown. He shoots her with accountability bullets, she kills him with rage and the crime scene shifts towards Jennifer. Rosalind Russell is a sharp wit, a cutthroat and a talent. She doesn't want to go to prison but can't allow an innocent person to take the blame. Her act within the act is marvelous and addictive. You follow her til the wrenching curtain call where her choices are bad for everyone but her luck remains the same. Sydney Greenstreet as Captain Danbury was a playful bear who appeared smarter than written. Theresa Harris expended tears and wit as a black assistant. Dan Tobin was gay significant. Claire Trevor looked like the type you leave. The movie had bitchy guts and a tight pussy. 19-Jun-2021
The world is coming to an end, no one can sleep and everyone is going nuts from sleep deprivation. Gina Rodriguez is a mother of two, whose daughter can sleep and a teenage son who can't. Everyone wants the daughter and prisoners want to fuck her son. Gina has tough girl stance and the motherly instinct to protect her babies. The reason for the power outage (technical and physical) is insufficient, some of the action sequences thrilled, the ending knocked but it also confounded. Its popcorn. Who cares? I love seeing Gina get mad. 11-Jun-2021
10 influencers are united in a snow piled chateau. The invite comes from a madman that wants to cancel them. The mystery's psychological reasoning is based on a demented individual's power grab to replace God and punish the unrighteous. But, they're so pretty and knowledgeable. Fabian smears his loveliness on the lens but is too uptight to relax and be cool. Daliah Lavi's exaggerated mane turned her into a cold stereotypical Hollywood starlet. Hugh O'Brian looked even better with his shirt off. Marianne Hoppe seemed hopped on something as the scared German maid. Was she supposed to be ridiculous? Gay old codgers know everything. It's a cheap attempt to intrigue us with outdated characters from a board game. 10-Jun-2021
It was on my list for a lifetime but I never got to it. Daddy Doctor Rio is separated from his wife and kids because he doesn't want to die a passionless fuck. A fragile beauty with manic episodes invades his life and his choices. She is victimized by her husband, Richard Chamberlain, who was annoyingly pretty and agonizingly gay. Julie Christie was that thing you only find once. Her beauty was her art. George C. Scott roared obsession and determination. Shirley Knight whipped her hair back and forth and got slammed with cookies that she baked for George C. Scott by George C. Scott. The music pushes it, the elegance enchants it and the crew elaborates on it. 02-Jun-2021
Tricky dick (James Mason) happily married to a lesbian sophisticate is tempted by the return of his tempestuous alpha lesbian lover. Barbara Stanwyck and Van Heflin have comaraderie and the camera loved Ava Gardner and Cyd Charisse but the crime caper is overdone. The cameos from Fred Mertz as an ironic sober bartender and the best female cocksucker in Hollywood under an assumed name, lend it Pokemon status. The girls were fabulous, the film was okay. 28-May-2021
Mitchells vs The Machines, The (2021) 
Teen lesbian leaving for school, has her life upended when Siri takes over the world and her dorky family is in charge of saving it. The adventures rely on coincidence, loud family squabbles, pet abuse, girl empowerment, gay robots and swirly pops to the brain. The voices don't humanize or endear themselves to us. Does Michael Rianda really think that he sounds like a cute little boy? It ends like every new animation whose heart beats like a girl. Go, girls! Do whatever the fuck you want! 06-May-2021
With a confident lead this might have been a cute comedy. 18 year old naif decides that New York is the place for her to establish success. Porn director introduces himself at the train station, impresses her, she moves in, she gets pregnant against his wishes, she doesn't abort and he kicks her out. She ends up in a fancy train to Boston with another pregnant woman and her charming husband. Tragedy happens. She and her child are accidentally mislabeled Winterbournes at the hospital and mother is forcefully marched to the Winterbourne estate to meet the mother and brother of the deceased. The fraud works because they've never met before. Miguel Sandoval was a pleasant contribution as a surrogate father to the boys and a gay butler privy to sex with rough trade. Brendan Fraser was at his prettiest, Shirley MacLaine was at her wittiest but Ricki Lake was a nerf ball. You can throw it around and manipulate it to land somewhere but it doesn't move by itself. Even the makeover was underwhelming. She went from Ricki Lake the actress to Ricki Lake the broadcaster. The baby was excellent. 05-May-2021
The Beauregard Hotel is home to longevity, money, secrets and fraud. Deborah Kerr plays a mousey spinster constantly swooning over a mature army captain (David Niven) full of braggart. Her mother allows her breath but no life. Rita Hayworth is the classy lady of diminishing beauty checking in to recapture her ex-husband before he marries again. The ex-husband is Burt Lancaster, always snarling and whispering sweet nothings in a woman's ear. He is torn between his ex and the hotel manager. Rita's wild and untamed qualities inspire him to be violent. His abuse makes him feel bad. The hotel manager is not kind to bad touches. Wendy Hiller was no Rita but she wasn't dead. She let Burt know what a fool he had become. The guests find out that one of the oldest residents has been charged with sexual harassment. The writers serve the subject straight. The politics of the hotel are established by the power of the individual. The makeshift family has a meeting to decide whether they kick out the sad and charming sexual harasser from his home or let him be. Strong opinions are shared. A lesbian guest argues the best by not arguing at all. Contradictions, truths and insults arise. The captain may have rubbed a few legs and fondled some elbows but the guests have done catastrophically worst to each other. 02-May-2021
Mr. Hawke drives a coal truck by day and writes the great American novel at night. Mother is wracked because that is not the job that's going to get them out of podunk. They're just pretty words. Wrong, witch. NY publishers called to propose a writing career for your son. Away he goes from Kentucky to New York to deal with business cutthroats, empowered Amazons with tender hands to create or deflate and a key to sin city. The men created partnerships but the women were the deal. He's hanging out with the haves. All the women stand demurely in line to take their turn with him. He's a golden pretty boy who didn't sound much like a writer and definitely didn't honk like a truck. James Franciscus held no extra thoughts. A blank page of "pretty as fuck." The ladies ease through the suds, confiding thoughtful sensibilities in spite of corny poetic writing. He's in love with his boss' wife and maybe his editor. He puts one on ice while he sparks fires with the other. Genevieve Page ate dairy/meat to make her hair resplendent. The accent, the manners, the fashion, the IDGAF attitude and her sweet little gay boy allowed me to pleasantly follow her. Unfortunately, the affair repeats itself so much that I'm surprised the writers didn't add "again" to every single "I'm leaving you." Suzanne Pleshette was so adorably female. Hawke's mother's storyline seemed incomplete as did the boy's. Hawke becomes a celebrity victim and gets cancelled for no apparent reason. 25-Apr-2021
An unassuming man moves into an apartment that drove a young woman to suicide. He visits the victim at the hospital (for foreign hospitality reasons and to maybe see her suffer?) and becomes obsessed with realizing her history. The neighbors find every reason to make him feel insignificant...he's too noisy, too weird, too private, too sexual and too mentally unwell. The director posted Rosemary's Baby with a shittier budget and himself in the lead. (We are to presume that some other schmuck directed it). The opportunity for a defamed man's self-reflection is a good opportunity for doctors to psychoanalyze him, wrangle the rest and let the people decide. Are the neighbors driving him nuts or was he already nuts? Why is he dressing like a girl? No, that's the girl that jumped out the window. Yes, he drags out and the film continues to crash into WTF Land as he spills nothing about himself except his obsession with precision ... the soft caresses, the whispers, his crippling distrust of socialization, the corners, the lighting, the orchestration, the genius, the illusion of knowing how a child feels and where the bad place ends. A whore is a child unsaved by him. (He aint smarter than his dick, though.) 23-Apr-2021
