The action sequences were fantastic, daddy Bond exhibited sausage and skills. Having muscles didn't hurt. I couldn't decide if the villain was ridiculous because of the actor or the writing. Sap killed the end. Bond doesn't need to announce what he's going to do. It kills the surprise. 24-Jun-2022

Ann-Margret plays a girl who advances in the fashion industry because of hard work and drop dead gorgeousness. Father and son heads offer her the opportunity to become a Paris buyer when the original gets married. Father and son dispute her capabilities but acknowledge that beauty can surpass it. Louis Jordan is the Paris client with sexual arrangements to the previous buyer. There is little proof that Margret's character impresses at her job because she spends most of her time in Paris, drinking, partying, flirting, dancing, singing and clobbering boys who want to go further than a kiss. The most beautiful boy in the world, Chad Everett, the hottest tongue in France, Louis Jordan and the slub who accepts leftovers, Richard Crenna, are the men vying for Lady Margret's baby's breath. Ann's character is written with confused sensibilities. She riles the men up then 2x4s them later. She wants to live a fantasy without all that icky stuff, like sex. The ex-buyer getting married on short notice without telling her french lover/client gets no clarification. Edie Adams was unfortunately a short lived thing disrespected in the film's best storyline. Margret dolled up in fashion chic and hit the dance floor to Count Bassie and Mongo Santamaria like a sexual beast. Edits and choreography are a mess but Lady Margret's magnitude never lets up. The fashion is creative, the only laughs are violent, the idea that a girl becomes a woman if she gets married is primitive, when men exclaim that a girl is too young to fuck, they mean right now. 26-Apr-2022

When Almodovar embraces Hitchcockian ambience it is sublime but when he attempts a Spielbergian signature it deprives the film of a punch. Two mothers, both strangers share a common thread that conflicts with their lives. Even though the outcome is easy to determine, the presentation is a shivering buildup. Penelope Cruz maintains her hold until Almodovar gives up. Her mother doesn't crumble as the film's psychology implies. She wraps it up without a challenge. The ending is part Schindler's List and part Indiana Jones/Jurassic Park. I welcome a latin Spielberg inspiration with cheeky heroes and dinosaurs but I can't forgive a spanish mother that doesn't wreck. A spanish mother is the T-Rex of emotion. 23-Apr-2022

It's an incomplete thought. A woman realizes her culture by being left behind to be parented by a rich white family. The interracial harmony was a plus. The actors didn't make calls to their agents after every scene. They were in it. The idea that the man you loved was lying about his parents and abandons you to their care is frightening. The atmosphere was established, the actors were prepared but the story didn't succumb to its repression. All was safe, all felt long and none of it felt warranted. I wanted to hear the screams of agony and the main fucking the shit out of that pretty butler to get the fuck out of there. That's what real people do. They don't waste time wondering. 20-Apr-2022

The washed up male porn star with a huge dick cliche. His 14" cock was the ladder that should have saved the world. John Holmes was a porn king who sold his soul to the devil to continue to do drugs and have sex. John Holmes was either the mastermind that plotted the worst heist of his life or he was really dumb. Baby Kate Bosworth was a great young innocent in love with the aura of a "man." Lisa Kudrow was Beatrice Straight from Network. Underwritten, marvelous and powerful. She didn't flinch. Val Kilmer softens the big cock brute by being genuine. The reenactments of what occurred that fateful night raced to a satisfying conclusion. 04-Apr-2022

A scary Christmas tree disrupts the holiday of a royal court by suggesting a game. The tree will sacrifice its life if the hero taking it, returns the kindness a year later. The bastard son who has only been acknowledged this Christmas, volunteers. He becomes a celebrated knight who downed a beast that will eventually down him but is enjoying the best year of his life. The fairytale has no significance. Magic appears without explanation. The voyage is gorgeously dull. The director casts some beautiful shadows and illuminates good acting but confirming that all mistakes in life repeat themselves is depressing. 16-Mar-2022

Menopausal shipping magnate dumps his business and distances himself from family because he wants to re-marry. The wife is a young Gloria Swanson playing a celebrated actress ready to retire with the old rich man of every woman's dream. She had money and success but wanted security. Adolphe Menjou was too cute and proper to put down but mama Swanson deserved to fuck his boring beautiful son. The film is split in three. Intro fears, adaptation, immigration, saving the planet and regretting it. Swanson and Menjou quarrel about masculinity and woman's liberation while receiving modern advice from the son and sweet wife. The event is Desi Arnaz as a stowaway on their honeymoon cruise where they decide to rescue him and offer him a lifestyle only the elite could afford. He can sing, shave and fuck like a bandit and he's pretty too. He deserved to fuck everybody including senior and junior. Swanson deserved to put him on her plate. Desi's accent was very light and we got to experience him how Lucy saw him. A beautiful ham. Its heart was distant, the comedy avoided the soul but the pretense was fun. 14-Mar-2022

Like Batman I focused on a minor detail that should have gotten someone fired and the picture burnt. Ms. Crawford's leg looks beat up. Is it make-up? Is it black nail polish? Did she fall down a flight of stairs? Are those surgery scars? Is that why she's sitting? Was she secretly dirty? It looks awful. 14-Mar-2022

Super daddy, a chunk (of meat) and his mini spar through time travel to end time travel. Sci-fi is comic book, action is diverting, writing is pensive but the three leads hold it together. The boy mimicked an asshole just like Ryan Reynolds would. Mark Ruffalo is a war torn daddy born to parent an asshole. The wattage, the funny, the adorable and the sweet were all there. 13-Mar-2022

The inestimable is the most hurtful. Brian Bonsall played Mikey, a throwaway child with trust, jealousy and psychotic issues. The actor had the smarts of an adult aware of its value. Everyone loves "new" adorable thing until it becomes codependent and angry. The conversations are the same as today, which freaked me out. "We're still talking about the same shit with the non-resolutions." Mikey is presented as an adoptive boy trying to adjust to a family that has suddenly enforced rules. They must die, the most inept investigators can't solve it and adorable little Mikey is psychoanalyzed for PTSD after secretly killing them. The psychiatrist frees him into the adoption system with an "all he needs is love" diagnosis and Mikey moves on to the next stupid family. Mikey has learned that electricity and water don't mix, you can hit real balls with bats, cops can't solve anything, mothers just stand there screaming while you're stabbing them to death and to remove the bullets from adult guns and disconnect their phones so they can't fight back. Empty guns waving in the dark. Elementary school sports training consisted of coaches deciding which boy would be a "skin" or a "shirt" for no apparent reason other than to be a pervert. Telling certain kids and not others to strip is insulting and absolutely gay. His favorite teacher becomes suspicious of the boy's monstrous tendencies when he adds marbles to her "marble game." A box is designated for the kids to drop marbles they earn for good deeds. The more marbles of goodness you inherit the quicker you can fill it so its doors burst open and you can receive a prize. She investigates his history but his adoption file is closed and the witnesses are minimal. There is no living thing that is safe when Mikey gets pissed. Will he spare no one? Kids dragging adult dead bodies, killing cats, feeding frogs to sharks, setting up the boyfriend and using a bow and arrow to kill are hilarious. Everything looks TV safe and appealing, the deaths are LOL and Bonsall keeps on giving. He is the conservative cunt that arises when successful families keep pushing the same subject without advancing. Mikey is the child liberated from bullshit. Baby boy is my new "Carrie."

PS: dudes, if she wants childrenx and you don't, show her this movie. Repeated viewing depends on her voracity for children and disdain for the film. Keep it downlow. We don't want to damage her. Keep it stealthily in the background and don't stop watching it. Make it a top ten of all time. Yeah, it's crap but its better than having a baby. 21-Feb-2022

Villeneuve attempts putting things prettier than Chalamet on screen and lending coherence to a confusing tale. The audience drives miles before the Jedi is matched with his fate and the communities are only taxed with suffering. The film doesn't allow them any fun. Everyone is a prisoner of religious fervor and nobody takes a dump. The ending is abrupt and the action doesn't build, it stays the same. Villeneuve envisions amazing things but nothing is prettier than Chalamet. 19-Feb-2022

A talented cast is assembled to remake a classic remade too many times with bigger bluster. A downfall of blockbusters but not of little films. They can sneak in some truth without being punished. It's a parody that attempts to bring circumstances, thoughts and decisions to the shenanigans. Idina has grade A moments in song and in soul sharing. Billy brought his showmanship. The prince passed the "inferno" test with a flip and a voice. We waited for Minnie Driver to awake and when it happens, it is fitting. 007 hits his marks like a gunslinger. Cabello looks like a waitress from different eras in all of her guises but she can sing, act, charm and have fun. I had fun. It belongs to a future cult. 13-Feb-2022

It's a cultural fairy tale that vibrates with status and wondrous oblivion. It's as pretty as the people breathing life into it. Culture doesn't deny itself, it contributes to the world. White people made me feel good. So what? 23-Jan-2022

It's cold on facts and quick with details. Two fascinating humans aligning to make the world a better place for themselves, remain enigmas. They let go of reality and rode a magic horse to success. Magic horses need lots of water so they steal some from neighboring lands. Lands dry up and competitors get suspicious. Jessica has brilliant moments when spiritually linked to the original but defaults to herself when Tammy Faye does nothing spectacular. There was no Faye spin on song or yell. Jessica completed a very difficult job. Andrew Garfield instantly reminded me of the Jim Bakker I thought I forgot. He was excellent. What happened with the kids? 13-Jan-2022

Red Notice fulfills "land of magic" type escapism. The writers created an intriguing caper and an enigmatic cast to play act it. Gal Gadot can act. Well. Daddy King Rock delighted in being the brunt of a joke, constantly, in fabulous fashion. Dickwad Reynolds steals it by being a cantankerous benevolent criminal who is also Deadpool. The director took advantage of its DCU historical significance and developed some solid characters. Heart tug. 11-Jan-2022