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Little Mermaid Live, The (2019) Whimper

The detail I most remember from "The Little Mermaid," was how her hair moved. If you can't establish an artistic craft to convey that, the art is lost. She flew when she needed to swim.

My treasure list:

I haven't seen so much visible invisible wire since "I Love Lucy." Decorating them might have helped

The octaves were lower than the crowd cheer. Amplification was a problem

A hologram of the improbable fish might have sufficed instead of plastic muppets

Graham Philips proved a singing alpha as Auli'i Cravalho expressed hard work

John Stamos' cook was destined to fail even if he had done it in a thong

Shaggy was feeling the beat but something spooked him and he started whispering

You shouldn't stumble. Even a shark shows grace underwater

Having the cartoon enact emotions whilst the live mostly sang is lazy

The deed was cast. The commercial for a beloved classic was born because they knew that after this, we'd flee to the original material. Magic! 08-Nov-2019

Tags: 2010s, Abuse, Animate, Brutal, Camp, Classic, Cliche, Comic Book, Creepy, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fantasy, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Maddening, Musical, No Acting, No Chemistry, Out of Place, Overcooked, Predictable, Sap, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Weird, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: TV

Permalink

08-Nov-2019


Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010) Arf

It delineates the first Santa, full of godlike vengeance and destruction. The film parodies like a summer blockbuster with striking imagery and a cheerleading score. It chugs along, never delivering the titular monster and rabidly tugging at our hearts. 05-Nov-2019

Tags: 2010s, Action, Camp, Comedy, Comic Book, Corn, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Fantasy, Foreign, Funny, Sort of, Horror, Oncer, Over the Top, Political Satire, Pretty, Sap, Silly, Timid, Weird

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

05-Nov-2019


Alladin (2019) Arf

All the boys needed testosterone shots on vocals. Guy Ritchie has the balls to make a dream come true but has no audacity to eject it with soul. Smith is an imposing genie that computes the gay with little gumption. Mr. Massoud (Aladdin) squishes triumphantly but with too much modern awareness. Naomi Scott (Jasmine) is the only with a voice but she is too liberated in her femininity to convey the struggles of Jasmine's past. Marwin Kenzari squishes delightfully as a person but lends no voice or stature to Jafar. Ritchie brings as many things to life as he killed. 22-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Action, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Camp, Comic Book, Director's Touch, Disappointment, Drama, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, Music Swings, Over the Top, Pretty, Romance, Sap, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

22-Oct-2019


90 Day Fiance: The Other Way, Tell All (2019) Woof

The silences were as creepy as the perjury. The individuals allowed the worst to happen to them because they misconstrued social media's message of full acceptance. When danger is involved, you allow mental clarity to check in not ask it to make you blind. It was an unintentional Halloween special that intrigued and horrified with no special thought. We yelled at the screen but they didn't listen. Everyone knows that Cinderella marrying Shrek is bad. 21-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Abuse, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Cliche, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Cowboy, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Horror, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, Maddening, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Overcooked, Political, Predictable, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Repetitive, Romance, Safety, Sap, Scary, Sexist, Showy, Shrill Act, Silly, Suspense, Tacky, Talk, Travel, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

Permalink

21-Oct-2019


Raising Dion (2019-) ArfUpgrade

When mama discusses the mental incarceration of racism to a son that's becoming physically stronger, my negative comments became obliterated. The writers ventured to give us a modern mama willing to be sensitively honest with her child and equip him for life's challenges. Respect. 20-Oct-2019
A subject worth exploring in a culture historically evaded. It moves better when it tightens the reins but it's self awareness, interspersed soundtrack along with sprinkles of bleeding sap, drain it. 18-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Almost, By the Numbers, Camp, Comic Book, Drama, Juvenile, Overcooked, Representing, Sap, Static, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: TV

Permalink

20-Oct-2019


Meg, The (2018) Arf

Super shark, super daddy and super action. Nothing else matters. 19-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Action, Action Stomper, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Horror, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Sap, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

19-Sep-2019


Crazy Rich Asians (2018) Woof

The presentation is a pristine and elegant throwback to the great traditions that made us and the new ones that maintain us. Actor likability is high, writing vibrates and its style is effervescent. 14-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Romance, Sap, Sentimental, Sweet, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

14-Sep-2019


Temptation Island (2019-) Arf

The temptation is mighty man boobs. 21-Jan-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accident Watch, Camp, Cooking, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Home Improvement, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Overcooked, Political, Predictable, Pretty, Romance, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tacky, Twisty, Unity, Us, Weird

Filed under: TV

Permalink

21-Jan-2019


Good Witch's Gift (2009) Arf

They had their fists so high up us that I couldn't utter a critique. 24-Dec-2018

Tags: 2010s, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Drama, Fantasy, Fatigue, Juvenile, Manipulation, Out of Place, Predictable, Repetitive, Sap, Star Watt

Filed under: TV

Permalink

24-Dec-2018


My Santa (2013) Whimper

High-end poverty, determined women, amenable to situating on any daddy lap, crooked trees, miraculous gifts, susceptible children and a twinkie Santa. It's Christmas. 14-Dec-2018

Tags: 2010s, By the Numbers, Cliche, Comedy, Comic Book, Conspiracy Theory, Drama, Fantasy, Juvenile, Manipulation, Romance, Sap, Silly, Twinkie

Filed under: TV

Permalink

14-Dec-2018


All Eyes On Me (2017) Bites

I don't understand the sanctification. Only reality befits his truth. He was a musician with a thug problem. 29-Nov-2018

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Corn, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Inappropriate, Macho Posing, Manipulation, Oncer, Over the Top, Preposterous, Sap, Shrill Act, Timid, TV-like

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

29-Nov-2018


Ready Player One (2018) Woof

The door to Spielberg's imagination never closes. He is most brilliant when he transfers his thoughts to the eye (camera.) The Shining and Chucky were unhinged odes and asides of established mastery. Regrettably, the writing and acting get displaced whilst catching up. I would thrill to see the meister embrace his dark side. 27-Nov-2018

Tags: 2010s, Action Stomper, Beautiful, Director's Art, Drama, Fantasy, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, Over the Top, Sap, SciFi, Suspense

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

27-Nov-2018


Fist Fight (2017) No MoonsEarly Exit

Instead of expounding on the challenges of education they blast the ridiculousness of adult immaturity. The overload of stereotypes swats the funny. 23-Nov-2018

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Fatigue, Loud, Macho Posing, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Oncer, Over the Top, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Unfunny

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

23-Nov-2018


Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn (1982) Woof

It's an old friend I had no idea I made. It's everything it pretends to be. 12-Nov-2018

Tags: 1980s, Bad Acting, Camp, Chemistry, Classic, Comic Book, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Decent FX, Director's Slice, Drama, Fantasy, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Political Satire, Pretty, Revenge, Sap, SciFi, Sentimental, Sequel, Squish Alert, Suspense, Tough, TV-like, Twisty, Wit Snit

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

12-Nov-2018


Good Witch's Garden, The (2009) Arf

Catherine Bell awakes the character but the garden is full of corn pop. 26-Sep-2018

Tags: 2000s, Cliche, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Drama, Hot Swatch, Preachy, Predictable, Pretty, Romance, Sap, Silly, Star Watt, Sweet

Filed under: TV

Permalink

26-Sep-2018




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