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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Sap'

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Godzilla Minus One (2023) Woof

Beautiful disaster. 04-Jun-2024

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Director's Achievement, Disaster, Drama, Foreign, Fun, Inspired, Monster Mash, Music Swings, Relationships, Revenge, Sap, Suspense, Thriller, Tight Effects, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful

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04-Jun-2024


Marvels, The (2023) Bites

The film suffers from The Green Lantern and Quantum effect. If the creators wanted to take us to other worlds, the trip needed to be worth it. Skrulls with no power are obsolete. I think they took the green screen too literally. Most of the actors looked like they were talking to the back-heads of stand-ins or more green screens. The ladies became 3 instruments that didn't play well together. Distance was put between them. The glowey thing that Capt. Marvel displays when she's on, reminds one of the Quantum sky. Another action killer was giving the women the same power effect. So we don't distinguish or because it was easier? The big bad could only have gotten better had they cast that crazy lady from the Power Rangers. I thought Dar-Benn was blind for the first few minutes of the film. If she looked down, would her head-piece have fallen off? All the ladies came as they are because hair and makeup were in a rush to return to social media. They looked unkempt and shook. They would never dare look this ratched on the red carpet where fans aren't paying them to create movie magic. Somber heroes zigzagging to nowhere for nobody. I never thought of Monica Rambeau as interesting, I liked Kamala on the smaller screen but... and we all know what Carol Danvers is. The reason I liked female heroines was because they were a break from extremism and added a softer solution to the action and they were beautiful. If women keep denying themselves in order to become men, hugs will be cancelled. They can do anything? Be a girl. Good hair, make-up and dress will fulfill the rest. See: Barbie. Imagine if she was ugly and without sex appeal. No mucho $. Musicland was an in-law family situation humiliation activity. Nobody swags like they care so why bother? Was Frasier the only white man allowed in the building or was he CGId? 07-Feb-2024

Tags: 2020s, Action, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Cold, Comic Book, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Hands Off Approach, Fantasy, Girlie Movie, Lesbian, Over the Top, Predictable, Repetitive, Sad Effects, Sap, Sequel, Shrill Act, Silly, Stink Wigs, Tacky, Timid, TV-like, Writer Humiliation

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07-Feb-2024


Blue Beetle (2023) Bites

The pace had no time to set-up character appreciation, it had a billion particles to settle. The family dynamic was food, drink, celebration and insanity. George Lopez added comedy schtick to his act. He looked like a character booted from Bedrock because he was too loud and ornery. The breast queen should be playing Lady MacBeth not becoming a free TV actor. I can see her washing blood from her hands and implementing Elvira's cleavage cut. The rest of the family and the leads apply stereotypes without explaining them. There is no such thing as a stereotype because it's only a description of our heritage. Universal speak. Nobody passed the classic TV Q test and the silliness hardly stopped. The best of the mythology turned into a fiesta. The family went everywhere together. Really? When did they masturbate? Why did the family get superpowers? Beetle's nemesis was a bigger and badder version of himself. Couldn't we have gotten something a little different? If the production wanted to fill the female quota, why didn't they concoct some awesome female villains? He has lots and no villain is scarier than a latin woman scorned. She'll slash your tires. 27-Nov-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Comedy, Cultural, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Over the Top, Physical Humor, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Revenge, Sap, Shrill Act, Timid, Trashy, TV-like, Vague, Weird

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27-Nov-2023


Your Place Or Mine ¬†(2023) WhimperEarly Exit

Antipathy between lead actors destroys chemistry and longevity. I heard Clark Gable had toxic breath, yet it didn't stop Vivian Leigh from tonguing him down. 20-Feb-2023

Tags: 2020s, Cliche, Comedy, Early Exit, Grating, Romance, Sap, Star Watt, Timid, Weird

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20-Feb-2023


Woman King, The (2022) Whimper

Not only were the true Agojie violent cutthroats they were also responsible for the massacre and enslavement of millions. According to historians the women were discarded third wives that husbands no longer found worthy of sharing a bed with. King Ghezo was one of the biggest slave traders of his time and trained the discarded women to massacre, sacrifice, enslave and sell men, women and children, no matter the tribe. The film fantasizes that the amazonian women formed their own empowerment group and conquered the white people that invaded them. White characters are sketched with no humanity which makes the action appear cruel instead of intoxicating. In the world of the living, the white people being fought were trying to abolish slavery and succeeded in killing the women instantaneously. Production was handed a bold cast to portray male versions of themselves. What a pity they couldn't find real women to emulate. 05-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, By the Numbers, Chemistry, Cultural, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Experiment, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Macho Posing, Manipulation, Over the Top, Political, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Retread, Revenge, Sap, Silly, Timid, Writer Weakness

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05-Jan-2023


Falling For Christmas (2022) Whimper

The good news: LL got her mojo back, the bad news: it's a stinker.

Oops, this is the poster for the sequel. 18-Nov-2022

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Corn, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Holiday, Manipulation, Music: Disposable Soundtrack, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Romance, Sap, Timid, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ w/Possibilities

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18-Nov-2022


Where The Crawdads Sing (2022) Whimper

Entertainment has wrung art dry. The artists are burdened with inciting memories of great historical art and erasing them, lest the audience think they pilfered them to bring a manipulative story to the screen. You can tell the director was probably very cool headed because a household with that much violent disarray would include more horrific things. Marsh girl would have turned out a creature less human instead of a starving foreign exchange student. Daisy Edgar Jones flattens the character by not bringing star charm to a mimicking portrayal. See Sandra Dee and Troy Donahue. Even when they couldn't act, they glowed with excitement and saved a crappy movie. Her ascension to sophistication is questionable. Either her mother had a great wardrobe or girl was doing something besides chucking clams. Also, why didn't she just eat the clams? The owners of the grocery store were inspired by a very special episode of "Little House On The Prairie" featuring the blacks. A little wild girl living all alone in the swamp would attract a lot of perversion. She couldn't read but she picked up on romance real quick. She flew into her "first" kiss. How did she know? What kind of nice daddy was hers before he booked? Why was she surprised to experience Tate Walker's natural findings in the swamp? Wouldn't she have discovered it whilst being the swamp? The crime and the courtroom boredom that follows had me eye rolling. The film is a cheer for womanhood but not art. It's a facsimile. I wanted to feel something. I am a man, after all. The ending knocked it out of the park but so did Harris Dickinson, to no avail. 16-Nov-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Cold, Crime Drama, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, Girlie Movie, Hot Swatch, Manipulation, Preposterous, Relationships, Romance, Sap, Timid, Writ w/Possibilities

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16-Nov-2022


Jurassic¬†World: Dominion (2022) Whimper

The dinos are stunning and grandiose, the familiar faces are warm, whatever stole Chris Pratt's mojo ain't giving it back and Bryce Dallas Howard would have stolen the whole shebang had someone written in a Tammy Faye Bakker impression. The movie confirms that in order to save the planet, we must die. (You didn't think we were sacrificing for us or our children, did you?) 11-Oct-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Big, Cold, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Fatigue, Music Swings, Over the Top, Political Satire, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Sap, SciFi, Silly, Star Watt

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11-Oct-2022


Thor: Love and Thunder (2022) Whimper

Natalie Portman's linebacker is not the gayest thing about the movie, a bodyless rock pining for another rock is. Are you kidding me? I want to see Thor's beautiful ass devoured by Zeus. 12-Sep-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, By the Numbers, Camp, Daddy Squish, Director Slouch, Disappointment, Fantasy, Funny, Sort of, Girlie Movie, Lesbian, Manipulation, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Sap, SciFi, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Wit Crack, Writer Humiliation

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12-Sep-2022


No Time To Die (2021) Woof

The action sequences were fantastic and daddy Bond exhibited sausage and skills. Having muscles didn't hurt. I couldn't decide if the villain was ridiculous because of the actor or the writing. Sap killed the end. Bond doesn't need to announce what he's going to do. It kills the surprise. 24-Jun-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Best In Action, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Enthusiastic, Fresh, Fun, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Revenge, Sap, Sentimental, Star Watt, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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24-Jun-2022


Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021) Arf

The mood is retro energized to soothe us into an 80's coma. There are three sexes applied to Bizarro Chalamet and I can't get over it. Daddy Rudd endured the right cosmetic procedure because he's yummy gay again except he was stupid, useless and shoed. The wall between the generations discouraged charisma amongst the replacements. There was a don't touch me vibe with babies helming a gimmick that keeps the franchise alive but old movie stars resentful. Why do possessed lizards change their outfits willy nilly but man has to suffer in shreds? The first half works because we presume the artist will add a great spin to propel the magic and replace original mistakes. He makes it more of the same. Reitman copies the spins with advanced tech but he doesn't sign off on it. 20-May-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Chemistry, Comedy, Corn, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Indecipherable, Loud, Psychological, Relationships, Sap, SciFi, Slow, Star Watt, Sweet, Thriller, Timid, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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20-May-2022


Queen Bees (2021) Whimper

A "These Old Broads" rip. Parents only know how to parent children. Grandma cannot prove that she is self-sufficient. Family and an accident coerce her into a senior home where conversion therapy for the dying (bffs) and medical staff await. It's a high school for broken bones. The writers applied one word descriptions to their legends. They are characterized as "extreme" (Burstyn), "cranky bitch" (Curtain), "sex kitten" (Ann-Margret), and "why the fuck are you here?" (Devine.) These women have accumulated enough historical fanfare to study and for writers to create great characters. Adding something personal would have reminded us why these ladies are great but instead they minimized them. Ellen Burstyn is a powerhouse, Jane Curtain is a Jane, bitch, Ann-Margret is a tiger and Tina Turner is a legacy. Oh. That wasn't Tina Turner? But she's Ann's friend. Oh. 21-Dec-2021

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Camp, Chemistry, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Predictable, Sap, Silly, Star Watt, Timid

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21-Dec-2021


Bruised (2021) Whimper

The film describes a violent female as a failed mother/wife/child whose rage needs to be re-directed towards a profit. A killer that knows when to stop is a champion. They don't fight to save the world but themselves. Halle's fighter is homeless, negative and miserable. She keeps her feelings Eastwood. The boy's tongue was cut because he was either a lousy actor or the audience doesn't need to hear a black boy speak. Hispanics inherit black male stereotypes. Lesbian and mama were ready to sparkle but were given little illumination. It piles cliches without original thinking. I kept hoping she was a secretary with a hot lesbian boss. At least she would have been cute. 28-Nov-2021

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Camp, Cultural, Depressing, Disappointment, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Macho Posing, Predictable, Relationships, Retread, Sap, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Wit Crack

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28-Nov-2021


Shang-Chi & The Legend of Ten Rings (2021) Woof

It opens with a sober mythological tale. The action sequences lift our feet off the floor. Awkafina is refreshing. She makes corny scenarios funny. Simu Liu is a ripped pocket ass kicker. The story crumbles when daddy issues arise and Marvel wokeness and grandstanding are inserted. Motivations are vague, the writing can't keep up with the tech and by the end, the movement becomes an oncoming train. 21-Nov-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Beautiful, Chemistry, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Hot Swatch, Macho Posing, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Physical Humor, Sap, Silly, Star Watt, Vague, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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21-Nov-2021


Mrs. Winterbourne (1996) Whimper

With a confident lead this might have been a cute comedy. 18 year old naif decides that New York is the place for her to establish success. Porn director introduces himself at the train station, impresses her, she moves in, she gets pregnant against his wishes, she doesn't abort and he kicks her out. She ends up in a fancy train to Boston with another pregnant woman and her charming husband. Tragedy happens. She and her child are accidentally mislabeled Winterbournes at the hospital and mother is forcefully marched to the Winterbourne estate to meet the mother and brother of the deceased. The fraud works because they've never met before. Miguel Sandoval was a pleasant contribution as a surrogate father to the boys and a gay butler privy to sex with rough trade. Brendan Fraser was at his prettiest, Shirley MacLaine was at her wittiest but Ricki Lake was a nerf ball. You can throw it around and manipulate it to land somewhere but it doesn't move by itself. Even the makeover was underwhelming. She went from Ricki Lake the actress to Ricki Lake the broadcaster. The baby was excellent. 05-May-2021

Tags: 1990s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director Slouch, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Preposterous, Relationships, Sap, Star Watt, Sweet, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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05-May-2021




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