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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Sap'

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Frozen II (2019) Whimper

Its beauty is deceptive.

There is no thought or flourish to the story and no realism to the dialogue. Children have deeper conversations than this.

They are constantly bombarded by magical things, yet still wonder at the next.

The songs are its enemy. The songwriters write songs for talkers not classically trained singers. The musical artists could not wrap their talent around them. The words weren't tonal or melodious. (A thesaurus might have helped.) Each song was a giant whoopee cushion to the ear.

I wished the snowman had melted. (I'm sorry, I've spent too much time with Gervais.)

The presentation is built to make a grown man cringe.

If it weren't so gorgeous, I'd stop fucking it.

Bring on number 3. (Sigh) 02-May-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Beautiful, By the Numbers, Camp, Director's Touch, Drama, Ear Prick, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Gay Swatch, Grating, Manipulation, Music Murders, Musical Bombast, Preachy, Sap, Shrill Act, Timid

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02-May-2020


Harriet (2019) Whimper

I dreaded watching what appeared to be a Harriet Rambo adaptation that would diminish the heroism of a woman determined by life to save others. It does not succeed in bringing either woman to life. Cynthia Erivo has built too many walls to ease comfortably into suffering. The accent wasn't pure because her modern thinking interrupted it. Ms. Erivo forgot that heroes are badass after the fact. The direction is confused, insecure and skittish. You can't do nods to legends (Spielberg, Color Purple) without proper understanding of their work. The music was lovely, but it was constant and better suited for a video game. The performers weren't feeling it, it's not even a good TV film and it should have been a musical. 25-Apr-2020

Tags: 2010s, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Macho Posing, Music Swings, Preachy, Revenge, Sap, Tedium, Timid

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25-Apr-2020


It: Chapter Two (2019) Whimper

The adult actors cannot fulfill the innocence and vibrance of the youngsters which further diminishes the investment in a fretful conclusion. Skarsgard is a sure thing but Muschietti's insistence in piling disconnected scares that belong to a Freddy Krueger franchise, shoves his monster icon status to the shadows. The mumbo was a jumble, the Spielberg didn't fit and the sap broke the vine. 23-Apr-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, By the Numbers, Daddy Squish, Decent FX, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Horror, Indecipherable, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Sap, Scare Obvious, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Too Long, Vague

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23-Apr-2020


Jumanji: The Next Level (2019) Bites

It looks like the same level to me. There is a wisp of outrageous hilarity that ensues when we first hear Dwayne and Kevin attempt new accents, but it vanishes as soon as you sober up. There is only so much failure you can laugh at. I sat down in my boxers to get actioned up and ended up with shredded panties. There was so much sap that the pancakes runneth over. 15-Apr-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Daddy Squish, Director Slouch, Fantasy, Fatigue, Grating, Indecipherable, Loud, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Sap, Sentimental, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tedium, Timid, Timid Effects, Writer Humiliation

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15-Apr-2020


Lion King, The (2019) Arf

Its paced like a cartoon which kills the organic emotional impact because it seems rushed.

The score swelled and stomped on all the sentiments the story was setting. It's hard to feel something when it's already been decided for you.

The baby voices were stronger than their mature counterparts.

The soundtrack sparkled with new modulations.

It's a retread with no originality injected... wrapped in a gorgeous package. 29-Feb-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, By the Numbers, Cold, Comedy, Director's Touch, Drama, Fatigue, Musical, Musical Bombast, Repetitive, Sap, Star Watt

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29-Feb-2020


Meet Wally Sparks (1997) Whimper

Illogical silliness for a ferocious one liner. The supporting personalities are TV staples flexing their muscles to bozo comedy. Poor things. 19-Jan-2020

Tags: 1990s, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Cold, Comedy, Corn, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preposterous, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Weird, Wit Crack

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19-Jan-2020


X-Men: Dark Phoenix (2019) Whimper

McAvoy added a comedian's twirl at the tip of his Xavier accent and Lawrence appears like she's having facials with strangers. Little effort is evident by a cast of talented people. It saps and cheers for itself and it talks too much.

If the film had impressed the combustion that Fassbender and Chastain were percolating, the makers would had made a winner. 24-Nov-2019

Tags: 2010s, Action, Bad Acting, Brutal, By the Numbers, Comic Book, Corn, Daddy Squish, Decent FX, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Predictable, Sap, SciFi, Silly, Star Watt, Tedium

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24-Nov-2019


Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010) Arf

It delineates the first Santa, full of godlike vengeance and destruction. The film parodies like a summer blockbuster with striking imagery and a cheerleading score. It chugs along, never delivering the titular monster and rabidly tugging at our hearts. 05-Nov-2019

Tags: 2010s, Action, Camp, Comedy, Comic Book, Corn, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Fantasy, Foreign, Funny, Sort of, Horror, Oncer, Over the Top, Political Satire, Pretty, Sap, Silly, Timid, Weird

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05-Nov-2019


Alladin (2019) Arf

All the boys needed testosterone shots on vocals. Guy Ritchie has the balls to make a dream come true but has no audacity to eject it with soul. Smith is an imposing genie that computes the gay with little gumption. Mr. Massoud (Aladdin) squishes triumphantly but with too much modern awareness. Naomi Scott (Jasmine) is the only with a voice but she is too liberated in her femininity to convey the struggles of Jasmine's past. Marwin Kenzari squishes delightfully as a person but lends no voice or stature to Jafar. Ritchie brings as many things to life as he killed. 22-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Action, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Camp, Comic Book, Director's Touch, Disappointment, Drama, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, Music Swings, Over the Top, Pretty, Romance, Sap, Writ w/Possibilities

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22-Oct-2019


Meg, The (2018) Arf

Super shark, super daddy and super action. Nothing else matters. 19-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Action, Action Stomper, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Horror, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Sap, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense

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19-Sep-2019


Crazy Rich Asians (2018) Woof

The presentation is a pristine and elegant throwback to the great traditions that made us and the new ones that maintain us. Actor likability is high, writing vibrates and its style is effervescent. 14-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Romance, Sap, Sentimental, Sweet, Writ Tight

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14-Sep-2019


All Eyes On Me (2017) Bites

I don't understand the sanctification. Only reality befits his truth. He was a musician with a thug problem. 29-Nov-2018

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Corn, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Inappropriate, Macho Posing, Manipulation, Oncer, Over the Top, Preposterous, Sap, Shrill Act, Timid, TV-like

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29-Nov-2018


Ready Player One (2018) Woof

The door to Spielberg's imagination never closes. He is most brilliant when he transfers his thoughts to the eye (camera.) The Shining and Chucky were unhinged odes and asides of established mastery. Regrettably, the writing and acting get displaced whilst catching up. I would thrill to see the meister embrace his dark side. 27-Nov-2018

Tags: 2010s, Action Stomper, Beautiful, Director's Art, Drama, Fantasy, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, Over the Top, Sap, SciFi, Suspense

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27-Nov-2018


Fist Fight (2017) No MoonsEarly Exit

Instead of expounding on the challenges of education they blast the ridiculousness of adult immaturity. The overload of stereotypes swats the funny. 23-Nov-2018

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Fatigue, Loud, Macho Posing, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Oncer, Over the Top, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Unfunny

Permalink

23-Nov-2018


Star Trek II: The Wrath of Kahn (1982) Woof

It's an old friend I had no idea I made. It's everything it pretends to be. 12-Nov-2018

Tags: 1980s, Bad Acting, Camp, Chemistry, Classic, Comic Book, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Decent FX, Director's Slice, Drama, Fantasy, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Political Satire, Pretty, Revenge, Sap, SciFi, Sentimental, Sequel, Squish Alert, Suspense, Tough, TV-like, Twisty, Wit Snit

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12-Nov-2018




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