Movies Posts Tagged as 'Fantasy'
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Mask, The (1994)
A movie that succeeds in spite of its inanity. The effects still impress. Jim Carrey's comedic chaos mimic embodies and Cameron Diaz' unflinching bombshell elevate it. 02-Jul-2020
The gods have died, the penis has been declared an enemy, police have been abolished to savage lands to patrol, kill and rape what procreates and to harness survival goods for a scientifically mystic democracy. Gods are falsified to keep savages savaging and to keep their dystopian bubble, privileged and safe.
Sean Connery is brave, wearing a diaper throughout and doing action scenes in heels. The perfect brute with a thirst for knowledge.
The bubble society are eternals. They do not police, they judge. If you are found committing an offense, they age you.
John Boorman was brimming with ideas, executing spectacular visions and testing how far our imagination can travel. It was a beautiful ride until it crashed. There is a limit. 29-Jun-2020
Jaws 3 (1983)
The fun stops here. 22-Jun-2020
Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019)
Star Wars is one of the most challenging series to keep alive. Each post iteration appearing shiny and new with ardent fandom, bounteous clamor and no history or relevance to match any of the original three. They are only embers of the force.
JJ dropped the soap. Politics clenched the dynamic and criticism quelled his enthusiasm. He did not lend his panoramic to anything past what we would see in a video game.
It spent too much time preaching the force and little time explaining anything else.
Kylo Ren worked better with his mask on. (He was more intimidating.)
Zori Bliss would have worked better with her mask off.
Lando and the phantasms of veteran greats brought the force but the new power was missing a united purpose that would compel them to overcome the awkwardness. You can't expect much from an actor whose belly is full.
Everything old as new is delight, everything new and unthought of is bah...everything new and shiny, rusts. 20-Jun-2020
Powerpuff Girls Movie, The (2002)
Epic girl power. 12-Jun-2020
Toy Story 4 (2019)
The toys still wonder, crack smiles and grant blessings of a childhood institution from a very long time ago. The adventures became more human, the suffering became internalized, everybody grew up and moved on. Bittersweet. 12-Jun-2020
Birds of Prey (2020)
Robbie is missing the lilt and the energy that would whip Harley Quinn into a showpiece. The women in charge plaster the screen with cartoon abandon, avoid psychoanalyzing themselves and express no vulnerability that would compel a unique perspective. The film lacks a heart. It's like a man directed it. 13-Jun-2020
Of course, I was going to hate it. Wrecked performances, grave CGI, clipped penises and roach choreography. I couldn't finish it. 09-May-2020
Jumanji: The Next Level (2019)
It looks like the same level to me. There is a wisp of outrageous hilarity that ensues when we first hear Dwayne and Kevin attempt new accents, but it vanishes as soon as you sober up. There is only so much failure you can laugh at. I sat down in my boxers to get actioned up and ended up with shredded panties. There was so much sap that the pancakes runneth over. 15-Apr-2020
All Of Me (1984)
Instead of a body switch Mr. Reiner chose partial possession which is one of the most improbable storylines attempted ever. We want no change in anything but the story. The pros (Martin and Tomlin) don't embarrass easily because it makes sense that great comedy training includes stupidity. Martin freights most of it and freewheels in an agitated state that unnerves us but never hinders us from lapping up his star charm. Lily didn't feel like an equal because she was stuck in a mirror for most of it but her adorable cheekiness and one liners hit. The dance was still cute. 25-Mar-2020
Grave Of The Vampire (1972)
Silliness about a resurrected vamp raping a mod chick that dies delivering his baby. The baby ages into a superhero hunk with little gift of gab and limited supernatural powers. The fair lady hired to scream, couldn't. Fast forward to the fight scene which has Thor mashing a tired Michael Morbius with no effects and generating loads of laughs. 24-Mar-2020
Love Witch, The (2016)
I did a double take when I realized the film wasn't set in the cheesy 60's gothic era. The women are dead ringers for the pristine beauty of that time and the daddies are porn succulence. The witch is a backwards feminist, desperate for love and domination, except her potions and sex stratagems only work precoital. Love turns men into quivering slobbering mush and she becomes vexed and resentful. The film is experimental, nonsensical and devoid of magic. 15-Mar-2020
I Kill Giants (2017)
She kills giants and she's not afraid of them but then proceeds to quiver and weep at the thought. Having little girls spew superhero corn is cringey and embarrassingly hilarious. The girl on girl was tender but the titular was a smoky abstract. I was a bit confused by the giants. Why kill something that hands such good life advice upon victory or is that the point? Are they fortune cookies? 09-Mar-2020
Pokemon: Detective Pikachu (2019)
I expected Pikachu to talk a lot squeakier but it's a wholesome retelling that thrills when the Pokemons come to life. 21-Feb-2020
Godzilla: King Of The Monsters (2019)
A blanched all-star siphon it's heart but the smoked monsters have art comic book flair. Blur the actors and fine-tune the monsters. 13-Feb-2020