Movies Posts Tagged as 'Fantasy'
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It mindfucks from the beginning. It's told out of sequence and it has something to do with a gay rock that grants the grabber wishes. Unfortunately, the wishes make you see the ridiculousness in them when they come to fruition. The effects are genuinely gross and creative, the kids exceed expectations, the film is hilarious and that guy from Two and Half Men is in it and he doesn't grate. I had so much fun. 04-Dec-2020
Christmas Chronicles 2, The (2020)
An array of adorable elves get kidnapped by Mr. & Mrs. Claus to run toy factories, serve their masters and provide Christmas preciousness to their surroundings. When an elf breaks a rule it gets turned into a fat depressed British runt. Why? Santa stomps and hair flips like a daddy stealth bomber, mama Santa has Goldie specs and the children are as interesting as the beach they never go to. Everything is boisterous and pimped out. When the elves turn into Gremlins the cuteness subsides, the gas gets turned up high and Christmas burns down. 30-Nov-2020
Smurfs: The Lost Village (2017)
Surprise. Eliminating Hank Azaria as Gargamel does not make a Smurf franchise better. Besides being objectified, gangbanged and being a procreator, Smurfette is confused about her purpose. She goes on an unenviable adventure to find herself amid little care from the audience. The best stories do not have big bang adventures. They stay close to home so we can empathize with them. Girl Smurf explores and becomes at Lesbian Forest but returns to Smurf Village for the bangs. Sounds about right. 09-Nov-2020
Last Christmas (2019)
The mother of dragons goes goofy and messy to the legendary tunes of George Michael. Emilia Clarke leads with little sense. She's on a hurtful journey that should have been poignant but is annoying. Henry Golding is hot daddy giant with a glass wall constantly in front of him. Michelle Yeoh (Santa indeed) captivates with elegance, deliciousness and talent. Every actor was directed to pitch to the back audience as if it were a play. No need for that in a film. We don't want it corny but a little less cranky, maybe. Christmas is saturated with lights, the word Jesus in small letters are bountiful and the repetition of a song George Michael would resuscitate from to kill, dominates. There were so many beautiful things the director could have applied to Michael's music but decided basic was better. The ending is a surprising memorable copout. The lead character is insane. 05-Nov-2020
Dora And The Lost City Of Gold (2019)
Latin spunk, sense of adventure, poop songs, fart swamps, cousin flirtations, CGI friends and city ineptitude. It's Dora The Explorer. The parents (Pena/Longoria) are cute but their exploration days seem limited to couch surfing for leftover Tostitos to finish off their guacamole dip. Nancy Pelosi makes the most of her cameo by surprising as a jungle witch. (I kid.) It qualifies as a most craptacular stupid thing that makes a sad heart laugh. 25-Oct-2020
Sonic The Hedgehog (2020)
James Marsden had chemistry with no one. Tika Sumpter couldn't find it. There was no youth in Sonic's voice. Jim Carrey walked a tightrope of Riddler madness and The Truman Show control. I wished he had lost control but I also dreaded it. It's personal because I spent years buying new consoles just so I could play that little blue fucker. (They were awesome.) More ringtones and musical nods from the games would have stirred gleeful memories but the film provides what the games couldn't... an easy time. 07-Oct-2020
It takes you to a place a superhero blockbusters rarely do. It analyzes how a superpower awakening affects everyday chores, emotions and people for better or worst. You can get yourself some cash, gain a lot of respect, kill a few people, cause a ruckus and wonder how it integrates with a personal life. The villains are born from misunderstanding and rejection. The heroes are thrust forward for its mistakes. I wish they had been granted the effects that the story aspired to but the message zapped through. 01-Oct-2020
Addams Family, The (2019)
Morticia was lacking the sultriness Gomez used to devour. Gomez was lacking the passion he exhibited at the most ludicrous and divine things. Wednesday could have used a little less rich girl in her voice and a lot more bitch. Uncle Fester was destroyed. Bette Midler was the only one of the group to have seen more than one episode of the tv series and gave Grandmama her unique flair. The family is constantly trying to kill or destroy each other, ad nauseam. Somebody missed the point of The Addams Family and what they constituted. They were us fighting for our place in the world from the imagination of a mad man. The writers need to apologize to the artists for making them create the angriest animated film ever. Dude, that's coming from me. 01-Oct-2020
Trolls World Tour (2020)
Stomach ache candy and toxic individuality. It's B.C. and origin celebration that children can't apply to this generation. We descend from pods and no longer recognize individuality. You can try but the color will be swiped out of your candy. Its message is barbaric but its delight and bewitchery force us to "suck it." 13-Sep-2020
Golden Blade, The (1953)
Arab tale about a magic sword giving the wielder a purpose. It cuts through metal and gay Superman (Rock Hudson) brandishes it. Piper Laurie (Carrie White's mother) exudes royal female liberation and useful beauty. She gets involved. Jafar is the big bad of Baghdad, the action is well choreographed and the production is fun. It has good thoughts on women and establishes men can't live by their swords. They break. The politics are outdated but who gives a fuck. Nobody likes shit on their popcorn. 13-Aug-2020
Alita: Battle Angel (2019)
As I drowned in amazement the thought of giving Pinocchio this treatment became intriguing...and then it was.
Alita is the child built from dreams of regret, facing a life with limited power in the casings of a girl. She is constantly hounded for parts, in competition, fluttering, fighting and tasting what a child's life has to offer. She'd rather be a woman.
Christoph Waltz is his own animation. His Gepetto flourishes with worry and celebration. Alita's need to grow up is his dissatisfaction and his burden. The doctor brandishes enormous tools protecting a future creation that matters too much.
Creative ideas constantly bounce, widening the eye and accepting the beauty of art.
The pandemic should determine if this is how future movies will look.
Power Rangers (2017)
Adding angst and brood to the kid franchise is choking. The teens have troublesome history and are enrapt in familial and environmental chains. Gaining the power of a god will rehabilitate them. Lead boy steals Zac Efron's eyes, Bryan Cranston is imprisoned on a wall when daddy's veracity is letting loose and the most interesting thing Rita (the villain) did was eat a donut. Destruction is a friend but sap is not. 31-Jul-2020
Boy's Night Out (1962)
One single man and three married friends pep up boy's night out and and wives night in by subletting an apartment with a blonde in it. The blonde is a succulent dish with feminine wiles of the intelligent sort. Kim Novak supplies the dream that is studiously experimenting and extinguishing the horn that lives in men. James Garner doesn't need a dream to want him but watching him put the moves on is tingly. Tony Randall always demonstrates such glee at his own perversion. The movie falls flat because it doesn't dare to do half the things it suggests and the men basically get away with murder. 24-Jul-2020
Mask, The (1994)
A movie that succeeds in spite of its inanity. The effects still impress. Jim Carrey's comedic chaos mimic and Cameron Diaz' unflinching bombshell elevate it. 02-Jul-2020
The gods have died, the penis has been declared an enemy, police have been abolished to savage lands to patrol, kill and rape what procreates and to harness survival goods for a scientifically mystic democracy. Gods are falsified to keep savages savaging and to keep their dystopian bubble, privileged and safe.
Sean Connery is brave, wearing a diaper throughout and doing action scenes in heels. The perfect brute with a thirst for knowledge.
The bubble society are eternals. They do not police, they judge. If you are found committing an offense, they age you.
John Boorman was brimming with ideas, executing spectacular visions and testing how far our imagination can travel. It was a beautiful ride but there is a limit. 29-Jun-2020