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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Fantasy'

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Mask, The (1994) Woof

A movie that succeeds in spite of its inanity. The effects still impress. Jim Carrey's comedic chaos mimic embodies and Cameron Diaz' unflinching bombshell elevate it. 02-Jul-2020

Tags: 1990s, Action Fun, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Comic Book, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Good Acting, Kool Effects, Magnetism, Music Swings, Over the Top, Romance, Silly, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ w/Possibilities

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02-Jul-2020


Zardoz (1974) Arf

The gods have died, the penis has been declared an enemy, police have been abolished to savage lands to patrol, kill and rape what procreates and to harness survival goods for a scientifically mystic democracy. Gods are falsified to keep savages savaging and to keep their dystopian bubble, privileged and safe.

Sean Connery is brave, wearing a diaper throughout and doing action scenes in heels. The perfect brute with a thirst for knowledge.

The bubble society are eternals. They do not police, they judge. If you are found committing an offense, they age you.

John Boorman was brimming with ideas, executing spectacular visions and testing how far our imagination can travel. It was a beautiful ride until it crashed. There is a limit. 29-Jun-2020

Tags: 1970s, Action, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Elegance, Fantasy, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, SciFi, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Twisty, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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29-Jun-2020


Jaws 3 (1983) Bites

The fun stops here. 22-Jun-2020

Tags: 1980s, Action, Art Devoid, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, Eye Gouge, Fantasy, Horror, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Over the Top, Preposterous, Sad Effects, Scare Obvious, Sequel, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Timid, Wit Crack

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22-Jun-2020


Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019) Arf

Star Wars is one of the most challenging series to keep alive. Each post iteration appearing shiny and new with ardent fandom, bounteous clamor and no history or relevance to match any of the original three. They are only embers of the force.

JJ dropped the soap. Politics clenched the dynamic and criticism quelled his enthusiasm. He did not lend his panoramic to anything past what we would see in a video game.

It spent too much time preaching the force and little time explaining anything else.

Kylo Ren worked better with his mask on. (He was more intimidating.)

Zori Bliss would have worked better with her mask off.

Lando and the phantasms of veteran greats brought the force but the new power was missing a united purpose that would compel them to overcome the awkwardness. You can't expect much from an actor whose belly is full.

Everything old as new is delight, everything new and unthought of is bah...everything new and shiny, rusts. 20-Jun-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, By the Numbers, Camp, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, Fantasy, Fatigue, Loud, Macho Posing, Music Swings, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Sap, SciFi, Shrill Act, Star Watt, Timid, Weird

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20-Jun-2020


Powerpuff Girls Movie, The (2002) Woof

Epic girl power. 12-Jun-2020

Tags: 2000s, Action, Action Stomper, Adorable, Camp, Director Movement, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Good Voice Act, Music Swings, Over the Top, Political Satire, Sentimental, Tough, Wit Snit, Writ Tight

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15-Jun-2020


Toy Story 4 (2019) Woof

The toys still wonder, crack smiles and grant blessings of a childhood institution from a very long time ago. The adventures became more human, the suffering became internalized, everybody grew up and moved on. Bittersweet. 12-Jun-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Action Stomper, Adorable, Animate, Camp, Comedy, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Great Voice Acting, Heart Writ, Over the Top, Sentimental, Star Watt, Sweet, Words Spoke

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15-Jun-2020


Birds of Prey (2020) Bites

Robbie is missing the lilt and the energy that would whip Harley Quinn into a showpiece. The women in charge plaster the screen with cartoon abandon, avoid psychoanalyzing themselves and express no vulnerability that would compel a unique perspective. The film lacks a heart. It's like a man directed it. 13-Jun-2020

Tags: 2020s, Action Stomper, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cold, Comic Book, Dialogue Lament, Director Insanity, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Fantasy, Fatigue, Macho Posing, Mean Spirited, Musical Bombast, Oncer, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Revenge, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Timid, Too Long, Weird

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14-Jun-2020


Cats (2019) BitesEarly Exit

Of course, I was going to hate it. Wrecked performances, grave CGI, clipped penises and roach choreography. I couldn't finish it. 09-May-2020

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Creepy, Director Insanity, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Eye Gouge, Fantasy, Fatigue, Horror, Indecipherable, Music Murders, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Preposterous, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Vague, Weird

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09-May-2020


Jumanji: The Next Level (2019) Bites

It looks like the same level to me. There is a wisp of outrageous hilarity that ensues when we first hear Dwayne and Kevin attempt new accents, but it vanishes as soon as you sober up. There is only so much failure you can laugh at. I sat down in my boxers to get actioned up and ended up with shredded panties. There was so much sap that the pancakes runneth over. 15-Apr-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Daddy Squish, Director Slouch, Fantasy, Fatigue, Grating, Indecipherable, Loud, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Sap, Sentimental, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tedium, Timid, Timid Effects, Writer Humiliation

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15-Apr-2020


All Of Me (1984) Whimper

Instead of a body switch Mr. Reiner chose partial possession which is one of the most improbable storylines attempted ever. We want no change in anything but the story. The pros (Martin and Tomlin) don't embarrass easily because it makes sense that great comedy training includes stupidity. Martin freights most of it and freewheels in an agitated state that unnerves us but never hinders us from lapping up his star charm. Lily didn't feel like an equal because she was stuck in a mirror for most of it but her adorable cheekiness and one liners hit. The dance was still cute. 25-Mar-2020

Tags: 1980s, Art Devoid, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Good Acting, Magnetism, Music Swings, Over the Top, Preposterous, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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25-Mar-2020


Grave Of The Vampire (1972) Whimper

Silliness about a resurrected vamp raping a mod chick that dies delivering his baby. The baby ages into a superhero hunk with little gift of gab and limited supernatural powers. The fair lady hired to scream, couldn't. Fast forward to the fight scene which has Thor mashing a tired Michael Morbius with no effects and generating loads of laughs. 24-Mar-2020

Tags: 1970s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Cold, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fantasy, Funny, Sort of, Horror, Hot Swatch, Inactivity, Political Satire, Preposterous, Silly, Tedium, Timid, Weird

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24-Mar-2020


Love Witch, The (2016) Whimper

I did a double take when I realized the film wasn't set in the cheesy 60's gothic era. The women are dead ringers for the pristine beauty of that time and the daddies are porn succulence. The witch is a backwards feminist, desperate for love and domination, except her potions and sex stratagems only work precoital. Love turns men into quivering slobbering mush and she becomes vexed and resentful. The film is experimental, nonsensical and devoid of magic. 15-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Elegance, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Preposterous, Pretty, Relationships, Revenge, Silly, Vague, Weird

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15-Mar-2020


I Kill Giants (2017) Whimper

She kills giants and she's not afraid of them but then proceeds to quiver and weep at the thought. Having little girls spew superhero corn is cringey and embarrassingly hilarious. The girl on girl was tender but the titular was a smoky abstract. I was a bit confused by the giants. Why kill something that hands such good life advice upon victory or is that the point? Are they fortune cookies? 09-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Action, Camp, Comic Book, Crapfun, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Mystery, Preposterous, Sweet, Timid, Writ w/Possibilities

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09-Mar-2020


Pokemon: Detective Pikachu (2019) Arf

I expected Pikachu to talk a lot squeakier but it's a wholesome retelling that thrills when the Pokemons come to life. 21-Feb-2020

Tags: 2010s, Adorable, Comedy, Comic Book, Drama, Fantasy, Funny, Kool Effects, Sentimental, Writ w/Possibilities

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21-Feb-2020


Godzilla: King Of The Monsters (2019) Whimper

A blanched all-star siphon it's heart but the smoked monsters have art comic book flair. Blur the actors and fine-tune the monsters. 13-Feb-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Bad Acting, By the Numbers, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Fantasy, Fatigue, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Silly, Star Watt, Timid

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13-Feb-2020




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