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All Posts Tagged as 'Horror'

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You Better Watch Out/Christmas Evil (1980) Whimper

Insanity celebrates Christmas. The film attempts to psychoanalyze our hero but the construction is not mentally capable. 07-Nov-2019

Tags: 1980s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Camp, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Good Acting, Horror, Over the Top, Political Satire, Preposterous, Silly, Star Watt, Weird

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

07-Nov-2019


Rare Exports: A Christmas Tale (2010) Arf

It delineates the first Santa, full of godlike vengeance and destruction. The film parodies like a summer blockbuster with striking imagery and a cheerleading score. It chugs along, never delivering the titular monster and rabidly tugging at our hearts. 05-Nov-2019

Tags: 2010s, Action, Camp, Comedy, Comic Book, Corn, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Fantasy, Foreign, Funny, Sort of, Horror, Oncer, Over the Top, Political Satire, Pretty, Sap, Silly, Timid, Weird

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

05-Nov-2019


Pet Semetary (2019) Whimper

To re-establish a franchise, new ideas must sprout to keep it fresh whilst the outline maintains its mythology. It had ideas but they pushed forward for a sequel not sense. I read a book about an achingly heartbroken mother who suffered a breakdown over a loss. The dad exemplified the role of a devoted and loving husband who would do anything to keep his family intact no matter the consequences. The remake presents the hands-off and detached parents of today that diminishes the heart and the horror. The movie is so invested in not being the other one that it fails. 03-Nov-2019

Tags: 2010s, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Daddy Squish, Drama, Gory, Horror, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Suspense, Weird

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

03-Nov-2019


Phantoms (1998) Woof

A concoction of horror and sci-fi that dance when married. 01-Nov-2019

Tags: 1990s, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Sort of, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Over the Top, Scary, SciFi, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

01-Nov-2019


American Horror Story: 1984 (2019-) Woof

S9E7. Standalone horror perfection. 01-Nov-2019
Am I going to have to take viagra for the rest of the season? I never thought I'd need it, but ok. 26-Sep-2019
Simplicity is the best tailored suit for horror. The mythology is trembly and the franchise is freshening up.

Gus Kentworthy can feed a hungry gay senior trailer park with a strip and a flex. Emma Roberts is making all the right choices. Cody Fern is still holding back a layer. Matthew Morrison's penis is LOL. Leslie Grossman works better alone. Billie Lourd wants to steal it and Papa Murph is initiating another squirt test. 22-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Nostalgic, Political, Scary, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Third Leg Alert, Wit Snit, Writ Tight

Filed under: TV

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01-Nov-2019


Beyond, The (1981) Arf

Movie madness. It has you traverse through the bloody gates of hell as it promises. 30-Oct-2019

Tags: 1980s, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Creepy, Director's Slice, Gore, Horror, Musical Bombast, Mystery, Over the Top, Shrill Act, Suspense, Tacky, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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30-Oct-2019


Funhouse, The (1981) Woof

The premise is sold as soon as Hooper snaps everything into place. (What a missed opportunity not giving him a Bat to direct.) 27-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Action, Chemistry, Creepy, Director's Art, Drama, Enthusiastic, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Revenge, Scary, Suspense, Tough, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

27-Oct-2019


Last House On The Left, The (1972) Woof

It's astounding that the film hammers the same political perplexities that we still argue today. Even though Craven stages with high buffoonery and jump cuts, the idea of the horror writhes from the ditch. 26-Oct-2019

Tags: 1970s, Action, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Horror, Political Satire, Rapey, Revenge, Suspense, Tacky, Tough, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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26-Oct-2019


Blackcoat's Daughter, The (2015) Arf

Every persona suffers from peculiarity. The film courses through a dark vein and almost clinches God vs monster but it left too many holes uncapped. 25-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Horror, Mystery, Open Ending, Scary, Star Watt, Suspense, Vague, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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25-Oct-2019


Happy Death Day (2017) Woof

It serves exactly what was on the menu: a teen romcom with knives. 24-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Action, Chemistry, Comedy, Director's Slice, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Horror, Mystery, Revenge, Romance, Suspense, Twinkie, Twisty, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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24-Oct-2019


90 Day Fiance: The Other Way, Tell All (2019) Woof

The silences were as creepy as the perjury. The individuals allowed the worst to happen to them because they misconstrued social media's message of full acceptance. When danger is involved, you allow mental clarity to check in not ask it to make you blind. It was an unintentional Halloween special that intrigued and horrified with no special thought. We yelled at the screen but they didn't listen. Everyone knows that Cinderella marrying Shrek is bad. 21-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Abuse, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Cliche, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Cowboy, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Horror, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, Maddening, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Overcooked, Political, Predictable, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Repetitive, Romance, Safety, Sap, Scary, Sexist, Showy, Shrill Act, Silly, Suspense, Tacky, Talk, Travel, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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21-Oct-2019


Eli (2019) Woof

Future twink is tortured via experimentation for his better health. All its flaws are abolished by a ludicrous surprise that lashes out at parenting, religion and common sense. I found myself rejoicing at the outcome. 19-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Action, Camp, Cliche, Conspiracy Theory, Director's Slice, Drama, Fun Acting, Funny, Horror, Kool Effects, Mystery, Psychological, Sci-Fi, Silly, Suspense, Tough, Twisty, Wit Snit, Writ Tough

Filed under: TV

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19-Oct-2019


Child's Play (2019) Whimper

Entertainment value is slaughtered by a stupid looking doll. 14-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Action, Brutal, Camp, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Horror, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Scare Obvious, Tacky, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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14-Oct-2019


Ring Two, The (2005) Woof

All remains intact. The sequel embraces mother care and courage whilst boasting designer scares. 11-Oct-2019

Tags: 2000s, Chemistry, Director's Touch, Drama, Horror, Music Swings, Scary, Sentimental, Star Watt, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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11-Oct-2019


Hereditary (2018) Woof

Peculiar family traversing normal obstacles. Toni Collette doesn't just wreck, she explodes. The script challenges the actors and derives tension from emotional disturbance. Ari Aster keeps the scares familial, mysterious and skittish. The more we know the less satisfaction but the work remains solid because it's preceded by excellence. 09-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Chemistry, Director's Art, Drama, Good Acting, Horror, Mystery, Scary, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Weird, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

09-Oct-2019




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