All Posts Tagged as 'Squish Alert'
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Long lost uncle returns to crunch some balls. The first half is backwoods grit thriller but once the adventure ensues you are whisked away to a myth. Jamie Bell does solid work exhibiting his animal urges against obligation whilst the daddies gruff hard. I didn't understand little brother's gross ailment. 01-Jul-2020
Dick Van Dyke Show, The (1961-1966)
Brilliant mad men and women. 30-Jun-2020
Love Island Australia (2018-)
I missed the UK version so much that I resorted to this backup. This is a different animal, full of seriousness and ferocity.
The men are cave dwellers and the women, the suppliers that keep toxic men conquering.
If all a woman wants is bigness, handsomeness, grunting and darkness you are forsaking the feminist dream.
The brutality of what each sex stands for baffles me. 29-Jun-2020
The gods have died, the penis has been declared an enemy, police have been abolished to savage lands to patrol, kill and rape what procreates and to harness survival goods for a scientifically mystic democracy. Gods are falsified to keep savages savaging and to keep their dystopian bubble, privileged and safe.
Sean Connery is brave, wearing a diaper throughout and doing action scenes in heels. The perfect brute with a thirst for knowledge.
The bubble society are eternals. They do not police, they judge. If you are found committing an offense, they age you.
John Boorman was brimming with ideas, executing spectacular visions and testing how far our imagination can travel. It was a beautiful ride until it crashed. There is a limit. 29-Jun-2020
Doctor Sleep (2019)
The exploration of the past was literary.
Alex Essoe's spot on Shelley Duvall is impressive because it harmonizes with the film's recognition of Kubrick's obsession with perfection.
It pays homage to the past but the film frees itself from Kubrick's grasp and becomes its own thing, maybe something King had in mind.
I was not impressed by the magicians until they ate a child.
Kids that are special get eaten.
Ewan embodies the spirit of a child.
The cast is multi-verse, the action rips and even though the story veers into its own thing, the return is pretty exciting. 28-Jun-2020
The sea bursts with trans merms, foreign landers and common ground.
The throuple endangers itself for the esteem of want and need.
Eline Powell stamped her signature on otherworldly and frightening beauty.
An interracial cast that realistically blends.
The mythology holes don't stop me from digging it.
The aqua war delivered TV best.
The characters can't stop me from caring for it.
Women own the water that men feed from.
It's an analogy for many things but the message is to respect all life.
Beautiful colors of the universe are united to show us their TV Q.
The daddies are pretty big things, rescuing respectfully and allowing the women, heroism.
The throuple has me banging my head. It's hot, unique, eek and curious.
The mythology is well done, the effects don't suck and my favorite merman is chocolate. 23-Jun-2020
S1E3. I'm getting Kyle XY jitters along with Carrie mermaid spooks. It takes us away from the muck and asks that we be entertained. 16-Jun-2020
Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)
There's a dickhand on board.
Hannah shut the base of an Ace, handled children like flopping fish and got pied in the face.
Captain pied crew members in their face.
The men denied, apologized and mind plotted... revenge.
A rocket was launched.
Kiko did his thing. 24-Jun-2020
Hannah frightened her employee.
Lara sought battle with Hannah by scary military code.
Chef Kiko. I'd lick his plates and nothing else.
The deckhands. Something you mechanically bull ride because you're wrecked.
Neither scientist or cis straight I be to recognize that Jessica is a rocket. (Don't explode.)
Don't call her sweetheart, sweetie or any words with calories. Call her daddy White.
Captain Sandy is commanding more than a boat. Good for her. 15-Jun-2020
Captain Sandy finally twirled her balls and her skirt. 25-Sep-2019
The Flintstones put aside shenanigans to celebrate hard work but only the certified kind. Gifted is out, snobbery is forever. 20-Jul-2019
Wet snouts all season. 12-Sep-2018
I guess its okay to present a woman with an unknown penis if it has vodka in it. 18-Jul-2018
The client reference sheet for food exemplifies how the rich can add waste to the environment. 13-Jun-2018
Rules and liability specifications are locked, there's room for us to guess which crew member will fuck up the hardest and the first clients were "Plantation Rich" (they think having money means they pay for enslavement.) 16-May-2018
Highlights include a lady captain and a lamentable pup, love-thrashed by a pocket siren that exhumes growls and sniffs from the male crew. Hannah quips her way through most of it but then succumbs to the lunacy that all are indulging in. Kate, your turn. 16-Aug-2017
It's everything the initial is yet augmented in the unbalanced crew department. The commander seems perplexed by his spiky helpmates and we shall be banqueted until our brains too become unhinged. It's a preferable fix to the housewives and it fulfills AHS: Asylum munchies. The hottest is the most baked. 30-Jun-2016
Jaws 3 (1983)
The fun stops here. 22-Jun-2020
Night Clerk, The (2020)
Twink with alternative intelligence witnesses a crime. The crime is not its basis of joy but the performers are. The four (Hunt, Leguizamo, de Armas and Sheridan pull the right face, exhume the right emotions, and challenge anyone to do it better. 12-Jun-2020
Uncle Buck (1989)
No one puts a brat in its place like an asshole. Candy with children is gold. 12-Jun-2020
House of Flowers (2018)
S3. They smeared dark paint and punched holes into what could have been a masterpiece. Everything we cherished was punished, everything celebrated, got cursed and everything funny, nagged. The backstory was a cheap attempt to keep us interested in the life of a woman that presently doesn't exist. It's hurtful and pointless. Everything gay has become annoyance and everything Paulina De La Mora has been shredded. The only thing left is the frame. 29-May-2020
Scouring the family axis with joy. 02-Oct-2019
Uncut Gems (2019)
I feel about jewelry like others feel about watermelons.
The film consisted of many genres, high broiling, at improbable levels. Sandler steadies the flow, not allowing the top to blow off and steering the steam back into action. Talking over each other annoys, the pitch was trembly, the support were emblems, the coincidences were easy to spot and the finale was extensive. It zapped my brain. 28-May-2020
Third Day, The (1965)
Can a man become an enlightened human if an accident causes him amnesia? Not if your mug is still wanted for murder.
George Peppard is grand business daddy, never demurring from blankness while still eliciting great face.
Elizabeth Ashley was privileged bitch wife, with an redemptive opportunity for love and a zestful beauty of another.
Sally Kellerman knew how to turn it on and shut men down.
Mona Washbourne elicited comic wit relief and parental heartbreak.
Roddy McDowell. The best cocksucker in Hollywood actually had other talents.
Arte Johnson crept trying to put a creepy face on a "love me" persona.
Music. It sounded like every summer blockbuster score rolled into one.
It's sumptuously over, to guiltily enjoy. 11-May-2020
Normal People (2020-)
I quit after two episodes for its robotic love story and for making a half, feel like a full hour. If its purpose is to instruct us on how to navigate teen angst, sex and love, I can't empathize. By twelve, I and most of my brethren were already bona fide sluts (thanks, daddies) and my input wasn't necessary. It reeks of social parenting, enforcement and naive privilege. The writers believe that if you preach hard enough, it will spill into reality. Daisy Edgar-Jones is neither ugly, weirdly or enticing enough to elaborate on an inconsistent sketch of a girl who is written to be all of those things. It's hypocritical. Paul Mescal is wasting his beautiful ass, nobody else matters and nothing happens. 05-May-2020
One Day at a Time (2017-)
I will always have affection for these people but I truly hope they find that thing this season lost. 04-May-2020
S4E3. E1 and E2 had me worried. It was loud and high strung in celebration of a second chance, feeling like a parody of itself. Episode 3 brought masturbation realness and hilarity, peak character delight and mama diva (Moreno) steal moments. The hardest I've laughed all year. 10-Apr-2020
All about relationships. Gracias. 03-Mar-2019
Motivating argument about the rules modern life coerces. Proficiently displayed, adoringly regarded and stamping the sitcom with the purpose TV forgot. 13-Feb-2019
Justina Machado is excellent and Rita Moreno embodies everything we miss about a Golden Girl. They've added superior daddy squish and the support is amiable reinforcement. Cheers. 01-Mar-2018
At first glance, you are inclined to think that this is an exploitation of a classic and respected series with token latino stereotypes. By the fourth episode you realize that it chose this community to depict because it needs updating the most and it feeds right into the original's claim. It's hard raising a latin family when the men are scarce and the women try to empower themselves at the cost of tradition. There are times you will be transported to all those arguments Lear presented between classic characters, fair to each but being persistent that the last word goes to the changing present. Justina Machado plays Penelope Alvarez with the same amount as distraught, parental overprotection and survivor's challenge that Bonnie Franklin's Ann Romano did. Rita Moreno's accent is old fashioned pastiche but she is a full character, beloved and is having a helluva time making us laugh. The kids aspire for realness instead of cute and Schneider is cute without the creep. 30-Jan-2017