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All Posts Tagged as 'Squish Alert'

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Golden Bachelor, The (2023) Woof

Fuckboy! 01-Dec-2023
Daddy couldn't help himself from trying the new luggage he won on Let's Make A Deal. He showed Leslie how wires helped him move around the house and bestowed on Theresa, only sexual regard. 20-Nov-2023
Daddy gold was forced to walk and run, though I believe the run was CGI'd. Gerry was very vague when discussing how he felt about Theresa to her grandchildren and daughter. When he eye fucked Theresa's daughter she reacted like she liked it. I'm sure she wasn't listening to anything he was saying because he was saying that he wasn't in love with her mother. Either he let the cat out of the bag or he's a better actor than I thought. I ponder why Gerry is called Gary when it should be Jerry. 03-Nov-2023
Palmer didn't eyefuck anybody because he wasn't alone with them. Oh well, there's still paradise. Is the show on realtime? Do they walkie talkie what the public thinks to the producers? They made daddy walk. He only walked a few steps but every time he asked to walk a girl out he was holding on to them for dear life. When he opened the car door for a dumped, the producers rigged his suit jacket to hold him up. Good wire work. If talking about your ex on a first date is rude, why does it get a pass in old age? We found out that daddy is not made of gold, he bruises whenever a woman touches him. Maybe, she's made of fire. 27-Oct-2023
What pickle ball means: Age deteriorates the quality of the vegetable, but rarely causes them to actually become unsafe for consumption IMO. Pickling is used to preserve foods and in the environment of brine, they last pretty well forever. That said, the texture and flavorings are going to get funky after a couple of years. 20-Oct-2023
Whilst the ladies were slapping old man's balls our daddy gold was sitting. When he appeared on an ATV he sat throughout. He made out with any lips that came towards him, sitting down. The rose ceremony took much longer because daddy had to sit after every rose. He pretended to be a gentleman but we know the handicapped woman helped him walk out. That lady whose daughter was getting married as she was clapping balls didn't give two shits. Mother is not a title but an action. I'm sure the son-in-law was relieved she wasn't there to fuck up his wedding. Becoming ill was karma. Not telling women playing I've Never... that she was milk intolerant was like going to an orgy and having sex with everybody whilst knowing you have crabs. Captain Sandy with a wig has munched on ladies before but is a bottom, now. A judge Judy superfan told another contestant to ziploc her joy. 20-Oct-2023
I tuned in because I wanted to survey the old hunk. There is no way a 72 year old can look that good. He's handsome, a people pleaser, tastes like Spanish Fly and wants to fuck. He proved his age when it took him about twenty minutes to put on his shoes. Good editing. Wink, wink. There were no Goldiggers amongst the 20 but I noticed a few madams and ex whores. Including younglings would have created the tension women of that age experience. Most of the elder women were loopy, defining an era that's no longer safe. I like Ellen. I don't know why but I do. One of the women looked like Captain Sandy in a black wig, the Maude impressionist was kicked out, Jesse eye-fucked the bachelor and I felt grandpa's burden. Every time he votes out an eccentric aunt, America will judge him. "The man is dumping grannies!" 30-Sep-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Cliche, Crapfun, Creepy, Drama, Enthusiastic, Mat, Over the Top, Reality, Relationships, Romance, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Timid, Trashy, Warbly, Weird, Writ Funny

Filed under: TV

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01-Dec-2023


Bachelor In Paradise (2014 - ) Arf

What have I done? The producers made daddy Palmer look like one of the weird kids from The Polar Express. His eyes didn't move, they dialed down the light, the sparkle and he started looking through people, not at them. My apologies, sir. 12-Nov-2023
Oh no! I think the show is on realtime. The new girl said Brayden looked like Johnny Depp, nobody threw anything in the ocean and worst of all, they restricted daddy Palmer's cornea movements! No more eye fucking. They cut away just as soon as tears started to stream down his face. 04-Nov-2023
Mr. Palmer is a faithful husband. He only eyefucks men. It was fun to see Wells eat his burrito, though. Somebody looked like they were going to join a supremacist group after getting dumped. Brayden is a pirate that has all the women aflutter. Can all the girls fuck him and dump him so I can stop obsessing about him? Were asses covered up because they pooped themselves or because we might get excited? Yo, you can't be the fairer sex if you believe everything a man says. Kat's birthday cake looked nasty. Why are these people allowed to throw anything into the ocean? Doesn't she know that Flipper can get diabetes? 28-Oct-2023
Woohoo! The Palmer eye-fucked the newbie in an episode where not much happened. If you're demanding honesty from a man, don't do it like Kat. She hates the truth. 23-Oct-2023
Brayden's beauty suffers intense consequences because he can't deliver. Sean looks like a dream prince that Dreamworks dreamed up. There is no rational reason why Will should act sensitive when being dumped. Aaron needs to butt fuck his girl so she can stay regular and alive. She is a walking testament of why travel sucks. Wells is a cute package that the contestants keep unwrapping. He was icked by the baby incident and masterclassed he wasn't. He gleamed for Dreamworks but was bored with pretty head yet bounced back for latino flair. The theme is past promises made to people they weren't attracted to and the people who can't accept it. Jesse Palmer hasn't eye-fucked anyone and that's worrisome. They're so good. Men only! The thighs are wide, the legs are nice, the men have bite, are succulent and falling apart for trying to make someone else happy. Is this how toxic masculinity is created? 18-Oct-2023

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Chemistry, Choices, Cliche, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Emasculating, Fantasy, Fun Acting, Gay, Good Acting, Grating, Hot Swatch, Hyper, Juvenile, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Maddening, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preposterous, Reality, Relationships, Romance, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Timid, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: TV

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12-Nov-2023


Love Is Blind (2020) Howl

Dude, the thigh lord has Sith powers. I haven't stopped eating the insides of my mouth since I last saw him. 19-Oct-2023
Reunion. It was lonely and hollow. Izzy's thigh was not in full display but the women's legs and boobies were. Uche stalks Milton, now. Lydia is laughing and planning something hysterical. Aaliyah came to put Lydia on the spot for lying and showing off. Milton's family wardens like Lydia, now. They figured getting her to be them so she can change him is easier than showing emotions. Credit Report Princess makes no sense. She's blaming a thigh lord for wanting the same things she wants. His lost and found are memories of trying on girly things so he can relate. JP needs to visit Amish country. Taylor looked fabulous but her make-up was doubled. One layer would have made her shine. She chose to sparkle. The only reason to watch was Izzy. The fake smile and congratulations had a slow-mo effect at the reunion. As soon as he did anything inside his mouth the camera turned away. He rocked some cool sock, though. 16-Oct-2023
The latin mothers were in sync masterclassing a mother that doesn't exist. Izzy ate the insides of his mouth one more time and I wanted to be Ant-Man swirling in it. Didn't it seem like the credit report princess' parents were trying to unload her? Is Lydia still stalking Uche? 14-Oct-2023
S5E8-E9. Uche was invited to the party to make Lydia squirm. Lydia turned red and became a giant animated monster. She emoted so distinctly it almost felt real. I liked it better when it was blamed on hysteria rather than on emotion. Emotions are supposed to be good. Why did Milton's parents look so guilty? Did they look her up? Did Uche call the family to tell them how wonderful she is and fucked up? Is he texting Milton every half hour? Milton kept excusing his parents' lack of hospitality on organics. They weren't like Lydia's. They spit hate in your face and can't teach their offspring how to open wine bottles. Lydia's restraint and self food service was worth bowing to. Mother and daughter-in-law swept her from her pasta and dragged her to the interrogation room where they showed off their warden skills. Lydia studied rocks most of her life but couldn't comprehend the word minute. Minute, when something is way smaller than the rest, like sand is to rock. The thigh jedi and his assignment enacted what bi-polar looks like. Izzy was drunk, frisky and adorable. She started a kitchen argument because he wanted to make love and she needed more attention. Guess who won? He lost control. His legs shook constantly, even when on a great date. Oh. That's how he keeps his thighs in shape. She made him cry like a puppy. We witnessed the aftermath of his secret. He started eating the insides of his mouth, again. I'm sure he ate more than the cameras cared to show. He can't afford to buy her a handbag! He needs to update his profile, "looking for suga mamas and papas that like perfect thigh." 06-Oct-2023
S5. There is a thigh jedi in the house. He's too good to be true. He keeps forcing smiles, though. Is someone buzzing him? His to be is a spoiled princess that wants old fashioned notions and female empowerment in a man. There is something he's not telling that is screaming to come out. The father-in-law expressed a gangster welcome with a threat. Whenever the princess emotes he eats the inside of his mouth. When they were in the kitchen arguing about how poor he's going to become, I thought he was going to eat right through and damage his beautiful face with a hole. In bed one night, he almost eyerolled his assignment/princess but caught himself in time. When a man says he wants a woman to wear no makeup. He wants her to be a little girl. That's the reason women wear makeup, to distinguish themselves from their daughters, so daddy doesn't take a special interest in them. It's like fucking another woman. Uche is making it known that Lydia is a stalker with a big mouth, doesn't allow much breathing room and has a suspicious mama. I think Uche proved himself stupid by stalking three people throughout the show. 17-Apr-2023

Tags: Bad Acting, Corn, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preachy, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Travel, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Thoughtful

Filed under: TV

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19-Oct-2023


Deep Fake Love (2023-) Woof

S1E6. The hostess melted ice like climate change and gave a grieving contestant a much appreciated mom hug. Sweet. 09-Jul-2023
S1E5. Our European brethren don't fuck around. Fright and overreaction. The moment the couples landed on Lost Island they were jittering, twitching and sweating for things that they already had. The show separates partners into Venus and Mars locations, presuming Venus is for bottoms and Mars is for tops or they could be trying to trick us and its the other way around. The object of the game is to observe footage of their frolicking partners on another planet and guess whether the footage was real or faked for cash. The reactions were so hysterical that I stopped snoring so I could laugh. Latinos invented drama by spelling it. The first time they go into the White Room, they are shown footage of their counterparts in real or inappropriate interactions. Things get dicey when the real clips got racier than the fake ones and the tricks are on them. The test doesn't want to fix the relationship but the individual. Why does the gay couple only get one temptation? I'd expect two each, at least. The hostess is a chillmeister. The contestants were crying hysterically after watching shocking footage and instead of being motherly she pushed them to answer if they thought it was real or fake. She's the only one that got wardrobe money, too. 08-Jul-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Foreign, From Another Planet, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Reality, Relationships, Romance, Sex, Shrill Act, Squish Alert, Trashy, Twisty, Writ Funny

Filed under: TV

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09-Jul-2023


Witcher, The (2019-) WoofDowngrade

The half season was a trip down Xena memory lane without the charms of Xena, Gabrielle and or thrilling action. The action suffered from premature ejaculation. Over before it begins. GOT talk keeps reminding us how powerful Ciri is. Isn't three seasons enough time to finally see it and not constantly hear about it? I'd recast with more charisma and revamp with better professionals. Replacing just the main character is going to be wonky and talky and I want them all to feel as uncomfortable as I felt watching this season. I shifted interest in character to decipher if the actors really liked each other. 06-Jul-2023
S3E2. I'm savoring them/him. I hear GOT talk incessantly. That is not the cure for acceptance or sleepiness. 04-Jul-2023
S3E1: A toxic female can destruct a man's mythology but his heroism will reign supreme. Welcome back, daddy. 03-Jul-2023
Daddy dropped the hush a notch and it was sexy. A daddypalooza overwrote the overwrought female wokeness. The RPG "come to life" was fun. The mythology became a scientific equation instead of a scientific marvel. Can we find another solution to good girl being possessed by evil besides giving her a conscious? Bummer. Istredd. Boom! Dijkstra. Yes! Joey Batey. Lick, yeah! Neneke. Your highness. Daddy Supe speaks for itself. The females need more realism and the mythology needs better surprises. 27-Dec-2021
Daddy is something else but it was the ladies that kept me glued. 18-Jan-2020
Of course, I'm disquieted by the froggish whisper of the Witcher but he delivers comitted action moves and steady alpha charisma. Interspersed characterization maintains the show's freshness. (Is it part of its mythology that all pretty twinks get killed?) 15-Jan-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Action, Brutal, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Fantasy, Fun Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, Magnetism, Squish Alert, Star Power, Star Watt, Suspense, Tedium, Timid, Wit Snit, Writ Basic, Writ Tight

Filed under: TV

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06-Jul-2023


Porn Theatre (2004) Woof

Before social media, gay men congregated in straight porn theaters for sex and sympathy. They made money, were entertained, became excited, desired, it curbed loneliness and they got to fuck some woman's husband. Drags, trans and sissy boys roamed the theater like rats, scurrying around, scoping the cheese and avoiding the light while cheese daddy sat still with his legs wide open, waiting to be licked clean for respect and/or money. Street King Daddy shit. Sex is thrust upon us. It makes the impact real. The hunt is on. Sexual simulation stimulated when real or fake. Conversations skillfully explained where the community was at. Some of the players counted how many big dicks they sucked that night. Were they given a discount? The ticket manager was a sad hetero too old to attract a fuck. She thinks that convincing a gay crush to marry her would become an arrangement they both could enjoy. I could see it as a Broadway musical. It takes very little time to establish character purpose and that's great for the film. It provides the map to how we got here. 27-Jun-2023

Tags: 2000s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Classic, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Foreign, Fresh, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Life, Political, Relationships, Sexy, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stink Wigs, Sweet, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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27-Jun-2023


Danny Thomas Show, The (1953-1965) Full Moon

There seems to be silence on the legacy of this classic sitcom. It started as Make Room For Daddy and mushroomed into The Danny Thomas Show. I saw all of the latter and only a handful of the other. The actress playing his wife, in the first half, had disdain for the man and it showed. Her composure did not scream nurturing, romantic or in love. Wrong place for the wrong actress. Danny played a version of himself. He was a singer/comedian who worked nightclubs. Jabbing at Danny's Lebanese culture was open, respectful and knowledgable. Lucy & Desi were his parents (friends) and Dick Van Dyke was his cousin (spin-off.) The show was blessed with energetic ideas, comic genius and non-stop showmanship. Danny must have learned how Lucy did it because he found his cute and sarcastic wit. Second wife was glamorous, vindictive, funny and hot. Marjorie Lord went shopping with Lucy Ricardo, cooked in fashion, got him in the mood and plotted her revenge in a very elegant and comical manner. The son is a scene stealer. Even when he made a mistake he diverted it with more funny. His adorability peaked in his tweens and crashed in his teens but he had a memorable run. Funny as fuck. The daughter was a prime teen that left before her character became unbearable. She had her moments. Louise was the household maid that was played by two elder pros. She got to hug white children, gossip with the wife, celebrate as a family member and sass the boss. A proud black woman. She isn't in all the episodes but the character remained til the end. The guest stars were numerous. The writers succeeded in incorporating them into strong storylines. The topics were basic, like feminism, how men can't do anything right, a woman can do anything men can do, a gift abolishes snarls and make-up sex is her way of accepting an apology. Penny from Lost In Space enters as a cute sister moppet that was supposed to bring adorability and sunshine. She was a work in progress. She laughs during line readings and when Mr. Thomas is doing his thing. She's cute and annoying. He was a great teacher, though. He hands a season to his working buddy and his domineering wife, played by the original Ursula from the Little Mermaid. It was an odd experiment giving supporting players full reign. They had to fill really big shoes and were no longer the sitcom air freshener. Ursula flopped around like she was getting paid to play charades on land. She was a bit too much. Danny was a ham. He sang in almost every episode. He shoved it down our throats but was so adamant and easy going that we learned to accept it and stopped praying that he didn't sing in the next episode. They had minorities galore and a successful run from the 50s through the 60s. Well-written, comical, consistent and timeless. One of a kind. Why don't we ever celebrate it? 06-Jun-2023

Tags: 1950s, 1960s, Accidental Watch, Adorable, Amiable, Best In Comedy, Best In Variety, Celebrity, Chemistry, Classic, Comedy, Cultural, Cute, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Entertainment, Enthusiastic, Fun, Funny, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Hilarious, Music Rocks, Musical, Relationships, Romance, Sexy, Showy, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough, Writer's Peak

Filed under: TV

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06-Jun-2023


Airport (1970) Howl

It technically educated the watcher on how airports manage and simply pointed out the obstacles they confront on a daily basis. All-star cast do what they do best and delivered. Helen Hayes brought star wit, watt, robbery and reigned beyond the material. She was it's light, its dark and its favor. Maureen Stapleton's guilt was gut wrenching. Van Heflin was believable as a twitchy loser trying to cash into morality. Story is favored over action which makes us care for them more as the inevitable happens. Dean Martin gives a heartfelt performance, Lancaster was in charge. Bissett epitomized the soul of a woman that finally grew up. The big bad were not terrorists or hijackers it was one person with a gripe that life was unfair to. Split screens worked well, the cast was gung-ho, the soap tasted like strawberries and the saves felt like hope. 30-May-2023

Tags: 1970s, Action, Action Fun, Best In Disaster, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Disaster, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fun, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Inspired, Music Swings, Mystery, Relationships, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Stud, Star Watt, Suspense, Touching, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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30-May-2023


Succession (2018-2023) HowlUpgradeFull Moon

Sticks were lit. Just when I thought someone needed to slap Greg, he gets into a brawl. Baby prince stays hurt because his stick is not invincible, it didn't absolve him from violence. Kendall conjured many joyous and catastrophic emotions impressively. It's all about Shiv. Bound by family and inheritance but destined to never ascend the heights of her brothers' success and doomed to feel cheated. The only thing she can own, with no help from her dysfunctional family, is how she wants to live. Mattson was a prickly genius. Mother In Charge was defiant in her opinions and uttered her lines like they were Mr. Freeze popsicles. The best way to deal with family angst is to join it, beat it or annihilate it. The series dealt with all of it. Even emotionally dead mother fuckers can teach you that. 29-May-2023
Roman broke his stick. Daddy Prince sat and ate his stick. Shiv grew a different kind of stick. Greg towering over Mattson made my stick hard. The boredom and responsibility of a funeral was deftly created. Everyone was pondering death or trying to ignore it. Shiv is most like her father. 22-May-2023
Shiv is an accomplice to earth's destruction. The reds are absolutely wrong about everything but are our only salvation. A parent's misery festers like a ghost. It clings to others but is disabled by future reference. I want to shove a stick up Greg's ass and lick his face. I want to pay Shiv to shove anything up Tom's ass. I want to lick daddy's supreme balls as he describes how it feels like to eat a bacon cheeseburger. Mattson is a foot in our mouths. Connor is on the list of ok must fucks. I hope it strangles us in the end. 19-May-2023
I give a fuck! 19-Apr-2023
S3. Daddy Prince of Darkness battles Daddy Succession Supreme. Every "fuck" made me hard, every "you" made me cum. Daddies were exploding beautifully. Women sewed their own armor. Shiv is beloved, mother is a cunt, Geri is the family dog, Roman is a mutt, Tom is bewildering, Willa keeps up, Connor won't give up, Greg is a kitten and Mencken is a game. The fight would add up to very little if the top masters didn't emote so precisely. Daddy Succession bleeds every decision to keep his dynasty and children afloat. All he wants is respect. Daddy Prince is impatient about the future. He wants to be woke, now, when it matters. Daddy S knows better. Daddy P always gets what he wants because Daddy S spoiled him. There is a study of art that defines Daddy P because of his intensity but when he calms and speaks his pathetic truth, we want to fuck him, again. Yes, his pathetic is even hotter than his cocky. It's called parenting. The writers convey our thoughts instead of our speak because, in reality, we can't do so. But we would like to. We are not animals in cages. You cage the word and the animal comes out. Let it speak. The show spoke, delivered whoppers, kept to its guns and secured a successful season. 20-Dec-2021
Daddy suffering (Ken) hijacked it with an hilarious rap and alpha domination. I like to hear Shiv, I like to say Shiv, I love to watch Shiv. Holly Hunter (Rhea) is the clamped whisperer. When she nips it she doesn't let go. Tom shreds himself to death attempting to bare the soul of a character that rarely sees it. Culkin plays his character like he has no dick. Funny. Nobody messes with daddy. Writers that want to keep their jobs and a production that keeps on pushing it. It consummates on a boat big enough to fit two Below Decks in it. It was all about respect. 08-Aug-2020
The best corporate fuckers on TV. 06-Aug-2020
A malted shake with only whipped cream. That's a lot of protein. 24-Jul-2020
S1E3 found daughters giving handjobs, alphas verifying status on staircases and daddies snapping their tongues. I am no longer floating, my feet are firmly planted. 18-Oct-2019
Exposing how the family dynamic exploit each other for success. The sticks have returned:

Brian Cox - daddy doesn't need a stick

Nicholas Braun (Greg) - he'll carry anyone's stick

Alan Ruck (Connor Roy) - he licks them

Kieran Culkin (Roman Roy) - he shoves them up his nose

J Smith-Cameron - she's not carrying anyone's stick

Jeremy Strong (Kendall Roy) - alpha in the making swings his own. 18-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Best In Drama, Brutal, Chemistry, Classic, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Director's Slice, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, From Another Planet, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Great Acting, Greatness, Heart Writ, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Music Rocks, Political, Politics, Psychological, Relationships, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough, Writer's Peak

Filed under: TV

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29-May-2023


3,000 Years Of Longing (2022) Whimper

It seems like a private joke to portray different languages without captioning them. The more times the movie lines or references are repeated the more we can understand and retain it. It's an educational tool. The descriptions fall mainly on Elba who portrays a physically commanding djinn with poetic romanticism with no woman to match him. Swinton's acting nuances become mismatched ticks. Queen of Shiba's story was the most interesting only because the actress portraying her provided model fabulosity. The leads remain within bottle safety throughout. The effects don't want to intrude on realism but that's what the story is about. I wanted to see Elba mixing spells, looking dashing or at least happy and having a magic ball while reciting Shakespeare with Lady Tilton. 23-May-2023

Tags: 2020s, Cliche, Daddy Squish, Director Slouch, Fantasy, Fatigue, Inactivity, Predictable, Relationships, Repetitive, Romance, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Tedium, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Weird, Wit Crack, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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23-May-2023


Queen Charlotte (2023) Howl

The garden starts to grow as soon as we catch a glimpse of it. Characters bloom, the younglings master the post artists and the older generation is A-list. Storytelling is compact with cultural explanations and detailed mystery comprehension. When things unravel they make sense. Young Charlotte trained smartly. Young Agatha was sumptuously gifted. She gave great face. Princess Augusta wrecked as an anti-villain. Young George was a beautiful broken piece of perfection. When he didn't move he looked like a doll. Young Brimsley was the cutest thing. He did not look like his future self because one is a pocket and the other is not but he was so squeezable that I thought the blonde semi-God didn't deserve him. Queen Charlotte: half of her title is fact. Diction was created so Lady Danbury can splatter it with harmony. Beauteous, courteous fiction. 19-May-2023

Tags: 2020s, Amiable, Art, Beautiful, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Fashion, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Sweet, Touching, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: TV

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19-May-2023


Firefly Lane (2021-2023) WoofUpgrade

Finale. The actors excelled at enriching the light fantasy with light reality. The conversations spoke, it kept the dynamics pumping and Johnny wore the worst wigs. It made my heart beat. The little engine that did. 11-May-2023
S2E10. It gave me everything I needed. 06-May-2023
A sweet dose of hospitality. 02-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Comedy, Comfort Food, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fun, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Heartbreaking, Lesbian, Magnetism, Music Rocks, Pretty, Relationships, Sentimental, Silly, Special, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Sweet, Touching, Wig Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: TV

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11-May-2023


Love Is Blind (2020) Howl

Reunion. Kwame was looking real fine tethered to his million dollar mink. Was the derogatory remark Marshall used on Jackie, "trans?" How lgbtq of him. Prop Bro You changed his looks but kept Joe's drawl. The gorgeous mad mane was replaced by chemicals that flattened their splendor. He squished a bigger body and he gained an intellectual's beard. He's either hiding his identity, ready to disappear or he's playing Joe's stuntman for the final season of You. Original Joe decided to channel Cuban Pete. All he needed was a sombrero and a set of bongos between his legs. I never realized how much insignificance he applies to the person that couldn't be ladylike. I wanted to be an earplug stuck on a couch listening to the Yous whispering:

OrgU: I'm losing it brother

ProBroU: Cool it! Remember we have cages out there! Remember? (he talks low, droney and faster than it sounds)

OrgU: She's giving me anxiety. I Can't breathe. (can't breathe)

Slap!!!

Zack played a tune whose every other word was you. That's hilarious!

The king makes a cameo to show the world that he can create. 17-Apr-2023
Poor Kwame. Not for long. Hookers still exist and there is hope. Original You was a pretty creep. Super tight curls? Eh! Seems like they're hiding something. His pattern of speaking changed after the booth. He couldn't retain a lower, crisper register. I remembered because it shows up for the wedding but not for anything else. His voice is much squeakier. Did they really play serial killer music during Prop Bro's wedding decision? Friday the 13th type? Was that a heartbeat effect? Did she really call him You? Original You lives outside his head while Prop Bro You carries it like a burden. Original was modeled angelic and the other boob would be attractive if they soaped up more. Don't touch the hair, though, unless he's got unnatural stuff coming out of it. Prop has to act quickly and Original lets it build. Original is in the third stage of his assignment and Prop is one step ahead of him. Original has planted his seed but not gained ownership. 14-Apr-2023
S4E11. Prop Bro You hates strippers, especially unattractive ones. He usually eats them for lunch. When he was in the pool with Bliss he looked like he was imagining what parts of her he would fry first. If he were a serial killer that is. Chelsea kept acting the part even as a hairdresser burnt her hair. She's psychic too, like that pretty terrifying celebrity twink. She immediately pegged Kwame's sister because she was the only black woman to enter the bridal suite. 08-Apr-2023
S4E10. Somebody is a virgin because they haven't found a satisfying top. Prop Bros #3 tried to convince his fiancee's father to approve of him but he kept smiling like Joker and talking like You. Kwame found a way to excuse his fiancee's future disappointment. His mother. Jackelina is free to get fucked hard whilst Marshalll keeps looking the word up. 08-Apr-2023
S4E9. That lady Chelsea thinks that relationships are about being serviced. Kwame needs to fastball her. Marshall is petrified of vagina. Pretty eyes can't fuck. Jackelina, run! Zach is still property managing his You charisma. TG Bliss is desperate. If a man doesn't want to engage a partner in sex it's because he has an STD or doesn't have a knack for it. Dump. 07-Apr-2023
Original You's future father-in-law pegged him as a really nice guy or a serial killer. You slaughtered all of Micah's friends' vaginas in one swipe. That lady put a damper in the sportsman's itinerary of happiness by clamping down on a future litter. A contestant that was not mentally profiled accused her fiancee of not being man enough. She doesn't want attention, affection or walkouts. She wants to get banged hard. Cue sensitive fucking and mild spit. 01-Apr-2023
The women came to vamp and conquer men that will never satisfy them but hopefully, will keep them barefoot and pregnant with a ring on it. The feminist plan is to train men to lie about everything so the women can feel loved and acknowledged. A man will say anything to a woman for a steady prospective orgasm. It means less outside hookups, more money and lots of family time. The women turned the dating show into The Hunger Games because they hate other women. Hearing women fangirling to idiot things men make up, is disconcerting. The banter appeared read off a corny romance novel or movie, they memorized. When you swoon at bad singing you will regret it. Their were 2 Joes from You. One of them looked like an impassioned third Property Brother. The women that connived for them are not amused. Dude, Prop Bro is the hottest man there. It's okay. The contestants have realized that the purpose of the show is to get married and bear fucking children from all that they desire so they too can make regrettable choices in life. 15-Feb-2023

Tags: Bad Acting, Corn, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preachy, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Travel, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Thoughtful

Filed under: TV

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17-Apr-2023


Summit Fever (2022) Arf

I was bracing for another Fall experience but no vertigo set in. It had to be the shots. Above and below shots were seldom. The camera moved sideways as much as possible, as if they too were afraid of heights. The purpose for the drama is always the same, like the tragedy that inspired it. The pretty cast gave more than what we got. The story rises out of its standard issue to flesh out characters so the performers can deliver while they stall. It's petrifying in a very safe space. An ass prince shows up in winter/apocalyptic clothing, head to toe. They couldn't wait for summer? 20-Mar-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Chemistry, Cliche, Daddy Squish, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Horror Mild, Pretty, Relationships, Sentimental, Sports, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Timid, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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20-Mar-2023


Love Is Blind (2020) Howl

The thigh king made a slight return and nobody thought to make the reunion a pool party. The eye king also made a return to apologize to his foreign partner for being wildly attractive. Trust no man who proposes a second time like you didn't hear him the first. A girl with no mothering capabilities surmised that her children will be small because her husband's dick is. Brennon's game is not wholesome. 15-Feb-2023
No one recognized that Bartiste is the thigh king. I know daddy looked like Pebbles Flintstone but to me he was a Bam Bam Rubble. I wanted to pull it and give him a back bath. Cole showed off his thighs too. As if. The females called Cole a good guy then tore him apart in the description." "You fat shaming hoochie fucking dirty ass broke lying motherfucker evil spawn of satan with dreamy eyes." The women were so supportive of each other that they made Cole cry. Putting Vicks on the tips of his fingertips and rubbing his eyes worked. Colleen was petrified to look Cole's way. She did it in the intro and ticked uncontrollably away. She saw those eyes. Yikes. I think she might have wet herself again. If she did that means that she suffered the whole hour without a diaper change due to the lack of commercials. Guess who's available to fuck somebody's wife? Dude, she lives alone! 09-Nov-2022
The show wastes the contestants and their guests' time by planning a fake wedding in the hopes of both parties saying yes? How humiliating. Nick's idea, wasn't it. 08-Nov-2022
S3E8. Would the thigh king agree to abort a future serial killer? No one should have the audacity to bear humans that can't exist without immense help. A lot of these kids can't communicate how they feel. We interpret how they feel. How do we know they're not saying, "I hate you, I hate you". Where's daddy? Is he working his thighs again while I suffer in pain? Yo, barbecue pork is giving the king a run for his money. What a beautiful fuck roast. Bartiste can shed some hair on Andrew's cloud puffs. Brennan looks like that but can't make any money? Ooh. Colleen was not at the club 'til 2:30 in the morning, she was washing her panties. They take forever to dry. They got wet from all the attention Cole was giving her. Both Matt and Cole were more argumentative with their fiancees than they were with each other. Their confrontation was bullshit. Matt really said, "please, I'm begging you, don't fuck my wife" and Cole said, "I won't" but thinking, "I'm gonna fuck your wife". Raven is going to regret taking an Ambien. She's gonna be woozy afterwards. Raven should have paired herself with the other thigh master if she wanted to live comfortably. We know he's a super daddy because he continuously spit it in everyone's face. Fuck other people on the side and go shopping. 06-Nov-2022
S3E7. You must become blind if you want to find love. Bartiste has cheating pork thighs, Cole has fuck all the girls silly eyes, Matt has kick your ass for being a slut ticks, Brennan's eyes turn black when nobody is looking and SK is an Ambien pill (30 minutes in your system before it knocks you out). It's about immature women that read fairy tales as children and believe them. For men, it's a "How To Pick Up Vulnerable Chicks" guide. Lie, lie, lie. 06-Nov-2022

Tags: Corn, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preachy, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Travel, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Thoughtful

Filed under: TV

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15-Feb-2023




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