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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Squish Alert'

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Untamed Youth (1957) Woof

Two pretty young things are arrested for vagrancy and swimming naked on a journey to Hollywood. Judge Judy gives them a choice, work on an agricultural farm or go to prison. Bubbleheads decide to pick cotton. Cotton pickers are rare and farmers are using the prisoners to make a profit. The farm is run by a Red Superman that enforces more than he preaches. He unleashes killer dogs on pregnant teens, serves them dog food, dehydrates them, kills, terminates, rapes, blackmails and threatens. Yet, every night, after picking cotton all day and eating dog food, the all gender prisoners find a way to perform a rock n' roll number. Red Superman is secretly married to Judge Judy. Judge Judy's gorgeous son starts working on the farm and catches the eye of the younger sister. Gorgeous son becomes weary of commandment and investigates. Judge Judy is plastered with red dick. She knows nothing. The musical numbers scream immediate cancellation but the performers look so good pushing it. Mamie Van Doren was a sex gift that calypsoed. She worked her butt off entertaining the boys. Is it historically credible that only white people, hispanics and lesbians committed all the crimes? The lesbian was a pisser. Puff prison pulp fun. 20-Jun-2021

Tags: 1950s, Accidental Watch, Action, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Cultish, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Musical, Relationships, Sentimental, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

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20-Jun-2021


Ten Little Indians (1965) Arf

10 influencers are united in a snow piled chateau. The invite comes from a madman that wants to cancel them. The mystery's psychological reasoning is based on a demented individual's power grab to replace God and punish the unrighteous. But, they're so pretty and knowledgeable. Fabian smears his loveliness on the lens but is too uptight to relax and be cool. Daliah Lavi's exaggerated mane turned her into a cold stereotypical Hollywood starlet. Hugh O'Brian looked even better with his shirt off. Marianne Hoppe seemed hopped on something as the scared German maid. Was she supposed to be ridiculous? Gay old codgers know everything. It's a cheap attempt to intrigue us with outdated characters from a board game. 10-Jun-2021

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Action, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Relationships, Scare Obvious, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stink Wigs, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Tacky, Timid, Trashy, Wit Crack, Writ w/Possibilities

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10-Jun-2021


Petulia (1968)  Howl

 
It was on my list for a lifetime but I never got to it. Daddy Doctor Rio is separated from his wife and kids because he doesn't want to die a passionless fuck. A fragile beauty with manic episodes invades his life and his choices. She is victimized by her husband, Richard Chamberlain, who was annoyingly pretty and agonizingly gay. Julie Christie was that thing you only find once. Her beauty was her art. George C. Scott roared obsession and determination. Shirley Knight whipped her hair back and forth and got slammed with cookies that she baked for George C. Scott by George C. Scott. The music pushes it, the elegance enchants it and the crew elaborates on it. 02-Jun-2021

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Elegance, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Relationships, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Touching, Tough, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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02-Jun-2021


Seventh Sign, The (1988) Whimper

God was so angry with us in the 80s that he sent seven signs to warn us he was on a path of annihilation and made Demi Moore and her baby carry the burden. If she can fulfill enough of God's contracts she can accomplish the "save the world" prophecies in the bible. Moore's luminescence and chemistry is wasted on shitty creators. A man can protect the world but only a woman can save it. 04-May-2021

Tags: 1980s, Accidental Watch, By the Numbers, Camp, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Cultish, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Fantasy, Fatigue, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mad, Mystery, SciFi, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Timid, Weird, Writ w/Possibilities

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04-May-2021


Die Hard With A Vengeance (1995) Woof

I needed a break from imaginary intelligence so I decided to watch the daddies that kept me a boy longer than I needed to be. The Riddler has designated several bombs to go off at different times all over Gotham unless Beast Boy and Cyborg decode them. As soon as Daddy Willis walks naked into Harlem wearing an offensive sign and precipitates different reactions from the community, the movie stakes a claim on how we presently live. It isn't offensive because the film is a warning about foreigners using our hate to destroy us. The actors are saying things that we think but are not allowed to say. Our anger and resentment is released through them. Samuel L. Jackson is the best antagonist to have because he will do what's right for everybody and make you laugh. Applying CGI spandex onto Jeremy Irons Riddler would have made his equation complete. Chemistry is on blast, believability is shot but daddies look so cool getting bloody and blowing things up. 26-Apr-2021

Tags: 1990s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Good Acting, Kool Effects, Macho Posing, Magnetism, Music Swings, Over the Top, Physical Humor, Preposterous, Revenge, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Tacky, Thriller, Tough, Trashy, Violent, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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26-Apr-2021


Owl And The Pussycat, The (1970) Howl

Lady Barbra plays a hooker with aspirations. George Segal is the bookish wannabe writer whose life she upends. He rats on her for soliciting, she gets evicted and moves in. He inherits a lot of sexual frustration and mental exasperation. Nobody gay bashes like Streisand. (She can bash me all she wants as long as I win her over with my charming personality. That's how you make friends.) She's representing a full fledged character that served the writer well. Why not. If everybody were the same we'd all be Trump. Segal and Streisand are brilliantly funny, introspective, sexy, beautiful and artistic. The words are grand, it flows, we care and it means something. There is a point in your life where you realize that you will never amount to more than what you are. You can at least try to enjoy it with someone in the same boat. 25-Mar-2021

Tags: Best In Comedy, Classic, Comedy, Funny, Gay Swatch, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Over the Top, Physical Humor, Romance, Sentimental, Sexy, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Sweet, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writer's Peak

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25-Mar-2021


Semi-Tough (1977) Howl

A childhood trio of friends deepen their bond in adulthood. Two ridiculous chunks of meat and a canned tuna. Delicious. The dialogue smacks, cuts, is dry and intelligent. I've never laughed so hard at subtlety. Burt, Jill and Kris were on full star watt. They were beautiful, crazy, athletic, sexy, fucked up, funny and sweet. 28-Feb-2021

Tags: 1970s, Accidental Watch, Adorable, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Physical Humor, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Sexy, Sports, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stink Wigs, Sweet, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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28-Feb-2021


United States Vs. Billie Holiday (2021) Howl

Men of the United States vs. a gifted opinion. She may have been a vampire but all the men sucked her dry. We cancelled her and she died. Who's fault is that? Andra Day. Her hard work is on the floor. She never reached druggy nirvana because she kept her light on even as things got darker. Pitch perfect on voice and beauty. The real legend was nasty and obtrusive. More of that. Trevante Rhodes is a cum daddy. I can cum by the thought of him. Tone Bell came and realized the fantasy but Rhodes went and smashed it with inhuman muscular sex. Rob Morgan is the guy with the 18 1/2" just older. Yum. Lee Daniels does not fuss too much. He wants to tell a clean story. When he imagines a woman's sensuality through the eyes of a victimized child, it is golden but when he doesn't subjugate us with it, the passion is lost. It would have been diamond had he folded with consummation. He couldn't give in to that. (We can take it daddy.) He kept the politics low and gave the legend the last laugh. That's cool. 27-Feb-2021

Tags: 2020s, Bio, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Achievement, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Political, Romance, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Timid, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writ w/Possibilities

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27-Feb-2021


Space Sweepers (2021) Woof

The earth has become Mexico red. 5 percent of the privileged population safely inhabit space while governing the remaining 95% that will die with earth. Space sweepers clear space from waste. It's a competition. The team who swipes it first wins and gets paid. I got absorbed in its universal travelogue. I wanted to see more of dying earth and plastic earth but understood the budget restrictions. They concentrated on delivering a humane story against a space adventure. The robot is a human-like child set to detonate and cause a nuclear disaster on earth. She is the new cargo the Victory ship undertakes. They are afraid of her as they are enamored. It's done with cheeky humor, a team that kicked ass and a heart that saps with the wind. It doesn't hit your face in a glob. It spreads out so you can gently dab. Every representation spoke their language and it sounded musical and educational. The little girl was adorable and the action was Tony The Tiger. 18-Feb-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Adorable, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Gay Swatch, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, Music Swings, Physical Humor, Sap, SciFi, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Touching, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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18-Feb-2021


Avengers, The (2012) Woof

Arise the madness. Superhero magnificence. 16-Feb-2021

Tags: 2010s, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Best In Action, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, Music Swings, Over the Top, Physical Humor, Revenge, SciFi, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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16-Feb-2021


King Of Staten Island, The (2020) Arf

Can you be the King of Staten Island if you hate it? Davidson has the balls and the bite but the creators cowered. They didn't want Staten Island to hate them so they fluffed up the drama. 21-Jan-2021

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Comedy, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Magnetism, Sap, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Timid, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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21-Jan-2021


Susan Slept Here (1954) Woof

Sexagenarian writer is gifted a teen juvenile delinquent as a Christmas present from the police department to inspire his next tale. The pretense is cute, the aspirations are undyingly noble, the actors are up to par but the tale dictates that daddy reject a mare for a goat. Nasty, dude. Debbie Reynolds was adorable, Dick Powell was sweet, everything was vibrant, and a feminist wave was woven but the consequences are uncomfortable. It is a good movie, though. 30-Dec-2020

Tags: 1950s, Accidental Watch, Adorable, Chemistry, Classic, Comedy, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Dance, Director Movement, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Inspired, Music Swings, Relationships, Romance, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Sweet, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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30-Dec-2020


A California Christmas (2020) Arf

A woman can't do everything. Rich Californians gobble up real estate so they can turn the future into an unscientific reality. Hot country girl can't maintain the farm, has an ailing mother and a spunky sister. Hotter rich player schemes to get her to sell him her home at an astronomical price so they can build malls or something. He infiltrates the cowgirl's pants by pretending to be a Mexican ranch hand. Hotter is a beautiful mix of Superboy eggs and Zac DNA. Whomever was in charge of casting needs to be hired for our next gay friendly Christmas preach. I don't want to see people like myself on a screen that I pay for. We want the people that God granted the gift of beauty to. He wants us to be inspired by his art. So we shall. This film pays homage to that. The music makes you want to see it again, the actors hee and haw pleasantly and chemistry kills stupidity. Ass hugging crotch enhancing jeans, hot old daddy servants, wenches, witches, lesbians, Mexicans... Manny and Ali as lovers would have been adorable. It's a crappy gorgeous joy ride. As soon as Superboy ripped a child out of a female vagina, I was in. 17-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Adorable, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Physical Humor, Predictable, Preposterous, Pretty, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Sexy, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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17-Dec-2020


My Best Friend's Wedding (1997) Howl

Childhood friends discover they might have feelings for each other as "his" wedding approaches. Julia's star was astutely intoxicating. She reveled in being the asshole and compelled us to cheer when she realizes it. Cameron Diaz steals it by being the opposite of the woman that always gets the good man. She's adorable. If I liked girls I would eat her. The GBFF is of British cunt royalty. Its Rupert Everett, full of life and hope before the despair. Charming and cheeky he was the GBFF you can convincingly pass as a boyfriend and help your vibrator conjure up an image. Julia made me conscious of Dermot Mulroney's importance by the way she looked at him. She was studying him. I deduced him. He's the dick that looks great in Julia's glow and uprises when Cameron blows. He's that guy, she's that girl and she's that poor girl. The laughs are not a statement but a way of life, the romance is annoying but it's smart, people will never relate this way again and GBFFs don't last forever. The music made me float. 07-Dec-2020

Tags: 1990s, Best In ROM/COM, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Good Idea, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Pretty, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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07-Dec-2020


Last Christmas (2019) Whimper

The mother of dragons goes goofy and messy to the legendary tunes of George Michael. Emilia Clarke leads with little sense. She's on a hurtful journey that should have been poignant but is annoying. Henry Golding is hot daddy giant with a glass wall constantly in front of him. Michelle Yeoh (Santa indeed) captivates with elegance, deliciousness and talent. Every actor was directed to pitch to the back audience as if it were a play. No need for that in a film. We don't want it corny but a little less cranky, maybe. Christmas is saturated with lights, the word Jesus in small letters are bountiful and the repetition of a song George Michael would resuscitate from to kill, dominates. There were so many beautiful things the director could have applied to Michael's music but decided basic was better. The ending is a surprising memorable copout. The lead character is insane. 05-Nov-2020

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Comedy, Crapfun, Cultural, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, Elegance, Fantasy, Fatigue, Grating, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Music Swings, Preposterous, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Tacky, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ w/Possibilities

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05-Nov-2020




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