Movies Posts Tagged as 'Squish Alert'
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A childhood trio of friends deepen their bond in adulthood. Two ridiculous chunks of meat and a canned tuna. Delicious. The dialogue smacks, cuts, is dry and intelligent. I've never laughed so hard at subtlety. Burt, Jill and Kris were on full star watt. They were beautiful, crazy, athletic, sexy, fucked up, funny and sweet. 28-Feb-2021
United States Vs. Billie Holiday (2021)
Men of the United States vs. a gifted opinion. She may have been a vampire but all the men sucked her dry. We cancelled her and she died. Who's fault is that? Andra Day. Her hard work is on the floor. She never reached druggy nirvana because she kept her light on even as things got darker. Pitch perfect on voice and beauty. The real legend was nasty and obtrusive. More of that. Trevante Rhodes is a cum daddy. I can cum by the thought of him. Tone Bell came and realized the fantasy but Rhodes went and smashed it with inhuman muscular sex. Rob Morgan is the guy with the 18 1/2" just older. Yum. Lee Daniels does not fuss too much. He wants to tell a clean story. When he imagines a woman's sensuality through the eyes of a victimized child, it is golden but when he doesn't subjugate us with it, the passion is lost. It would have been diamond had he folded with consummation. He couldn't give in to that. (We can take it daddy.) He kept the politics low and gave the legend the last laugh. That's cool. 27-Feb-2021
Space Sweepers (2021)
The earth has become Mexico red. 5 percent of the privileged population safely inhabit space governing the remaining 95% that will die with earth. Space sweepers clear space from waste. It's a competition. The team who swipes it first wins and gets paid. I got absorbed in its universal travelogue. I wanted to see more of dying earth and plastic earth but understood the budget restrictions. They concentrated on delivering a humane story against a space adventure. The robot is a human-like child set to detonate and cause a nuclear disaster on earth. She is the new cargo the Victory ship undertakes. They are afraid of her as they are enamored. It's done with cheeky humor, a team that kicked ass and a heart that saps with the wind. It doesn't hit your face in a glob. It spreads out so you can gently dab. Every representation spoke their language and it sounded musical and educational. The little girl was adorable and the action was Tony The Tiger. 18-Feb-2021
Avengers, The (2012)
Arise the madness. Superhero magnificence. 16-Feb-2021
King Of Staten Island, The (2020)
Can you be the King of Staten Island if you hate it? Davidson has the balls and the bite but the creators cowered. They didn't want Staten Island to hate them so they fluffed up the drama. 21-Jan-2021
Susan Slept Here (1954)
Sexagenarian writer is gifted a teen juvenile delinquent as a Christmas present from the police department to inspire his next tale. The pretense is cute, the aspirations are undyingly noble, the actors are up to par but the tale dictates that daddy reject a mare for a goat. Nasty, dude. Debbie Reynolds was adorable, Dick Powell was sweet, everything was vibrant, and a feminist wave was woven but the consequences are uncomfortable. It is a good movie, though. 30-Dec-2020
A California Christmas (2020)
A woman can't do everything. Rich Californians gobble up real estate so they can turn the future into an unscientific reality. Hot country girl can't maintain the farm, has an ailing mother and a spunky sister. Hotter rich player schemes to get her to sell him her home at an astronomical price so they can build malls or something. He infiltrates the cowgirl's pants by pretending to be a Mexican ranch hand. Hotter is a beautiful mix of Superboy eggs and Zac DNA. Whomever was in charge of casting needs to be hired for our next gay friendly Christmas preach. I don't want to see people like myself on a screen that I pay for. We want the people that God granted the gift of beauty to. He wants us to be inspired by his art. So we shall. This film pays homage to that. The music makes you want to see it again, the actors hee and haw pleasantly and chemistry kills stupidity. Ass hugging crotch enhancing jeans, hot old daddy servants, wenches, witches, lesbians, Mexicans... Manny and Ali as lovers would have been adorable. It's a crappy gorgeous joy ride. As soon as Superboy ripped a child out of a female vagina, I was in. 17-Dec-2020
My Best Friend's Wedding (1997)
Childhood friends discover they might have feelings for each other as "his" wedding approaches. Julia's star was astutely intoxicating. She reveled in being the asshole and compelled us to cheer when she realizes it. Cameron Diaz steals it by being the opposite of the woman that always gets the good man. She's adorable. If I liked girls I would eat her. The GBFF is of British cunt royalty. Its Rupert Everett, full of life and hope before the despair. Charming and cheeky he was the GBFF you can convincingly pass as a boyfriend and help your vibrator conjure up an image. Julia made me conscious of Dermot Mulroney's importance by the way she looked at him. She was studying him. I deduced him. He's the dick that looks great in Julia's glow and uprises when Cameron blows. He's that guy, she's that girl and she's that poor girl. The laughs are not a statement but a way of life, the romance is annoying but it's smart, people will never relate this way again and GBFFs don't last forever. The music made me float. 07-Dec-2020
Last Christmas (2019)
The mother of dragons goes goofy and messy to the legendary tunes of George Michael. Emilia Clarke leads with little sense. She's on a hurtful journey that should have been poignant but is annoying. Henry Golding is hot daddy giant with a glass wall constantly in front of him. Michelle Yeoh (Santa indeed) captivates with elegance, deliciousness and talent. Every actor was directed to pitch to the back audience as if it were a play. No need for that in a film. We don't want it corny but a little less cranky, maybe. Christmas is saturated with lights, the word Jesus in small letters are bountiful and the repetition of a song George Michael would resuscitate from to kill, dominates. There were so many beautiful things the director could have applied to Michael's music but decided basic was better. The ending is a surprising memorable copout. The lead character is insane. 05-Nov-2020
One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest (1975)
There is a threshold of high mentality professionals cannot consume or understand so they isolate, daze and shun the unwell from reality thinking it will make them better but they're just keeping them away from us. The insane asylum is the "soccer mom" equation incorporated as rehabilitive juice. If you keep the child's mind busy life wont hurt it. Nurse Ratched is neither monster or killer. She represents the woman in charge who will do what it takes to chase the crazy out of these fuckers and get herself a promotion. She does her job better than any man or human. Her hate for men keeps her in check as long as she can control them. Louise Fletcher is etched in subtlety. She's discernible, rational and a doctor's prescription. Her murderous thoughts are a delirious read. She spends a short time in the film but her character wafts through every room, corridor and human being begging for a moment's joy. Jack daddy legend is in it to disrupt it and kill her perfect employment record. He is a man with ownership rights and a threat to her profession. He has no mental issues that would require him to be there except that he hates work and wants to coast in a nut house. He is chaos and destruction but not insane. He hates life but he can survive it. He will inhale only the convivial parts of it. Booze, parties, women and trouble. He pretends, he awakens, parades his heart with glee and makes a team of his followers. Jack is there to free them of their haze and enlighten them with the cool parts of reality. But sadness breaks out and explosions erupt endangering their mental situation. Jack smiles, hates the world, speaks our language, slays our speech, breaks our hearts and is one of the funniest sarcastic mother fuckers of all time. Excellent across the board. 21-Sep-2020
Elephant Stampede (1951)
Prince of the jungle comic book serial. Twink with squishy muscles and soft skin provides protection to the environment and its people by instinctual training. There are poachers of elephant ivory, villagers enslaved by the economy of the forest and women pursuing worthy contributions for the betterment of the environment. The effects roll deflated, animals are fun and the stunts entertain like sexy pillow fights. 10-Sep-2020
Simon Killer (2012)
A heartbroken American goes to France to release himself. It is filled with ad lib banter (too many uhs and hmmms,) the sex was accurate (it gives you a woody) but the motivation was incomplete. 26-Aug-2020
Monkey Shines (1988)
A fit daddy mentally bound by matriarchy becomes paraplegic. He receives a horrified nurse, mother pseudo, a no nonsense trainer and a mentally enhanced monkey.
The art of training an animal lives in its soul. The monkey represents the current female to determine his life. The monkey is a frighteningly adorable beast.
George A. Romero packs it with Hitchcock simplicity and sensical horror. Each frame a joy to ponder.
Jason Beghe is an addictive force.
The mother/son spar sliced bluntly.
I lurched, I was engrossed and the end was brutally sweet. 07-Jul-2020
Long lost uncle returns to crunch some balls. The first half is backwoods grit thriller but once the adventure ensues you are whisked away to a myth. Jamie Bell does solid work exhibiting his animal urges against obligation whilst the daddies gruff hard. I didn't understand little brother's gross ailment. 01-Jul-2020
The gods have died, the penis has been declared an enemy, police have been abolished to savage lands to patrol, kill and rape what procreates and to harness survival goods for a scientifically mystic democracy. Gods are falsified to keep savages savaging and to keep their dystopian bubble, privileged and safe.
Sean Connery is brave, wearing a diaper throughout and doing action scenes in heels. The perfect brute with a thirst for knowledge.
The bubble society are eternals. They do not police, they judge. If you are found committing an offense, they age you.
John Boorman was brimming with ideas, executing spectacular visions and testing how far our imagination can travel. It was a beautiful ride but there is a limit. 29-Jun-2020