All Posts Tagged as 'Disappointment'
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AHS: Delicate (2023)

S1E1. Big K is horrific and almost interesting. Emma Roberts is avoiding the camera, lest it tell something. She only understands ditzy blonde characters. The idea is a respectful homage but production keeps hurting it. Fantastical coincidences are painful recreations and hallucinatory effects are not trendy. We can only concentrate on one big thing at a time. Ryan always wanders. It seems like we're counting down until a stand-in with plastic taped to her butt, creates the illusion that we are witnessing and recording K's magnificence, naked. 27-Sep-2023
Bear, The (2022-) 

The pacing was slow but I was patient. The cast were trying to create authentic characters and the lead was stalkable. That helps because you have to follow them and little Nic Cage a lot. It veered seldom from work, concentrated on personalities and the history that made them toxic. I wished the repairs were finished. Bonds seem stronger at work because they are constantly there. Creation flows when your personal life loses its seeds. S2E6 changed everything. I couldn't bear it. The episode was a spectacle of questionable art. I woke up from my coma to ask myself if I was being fooled. Did the jar spill beans instead of pearls? Was the lead hot or just in need of a bath? The same problems kept arising. Repetition with an artsy flair. I couldn't finish the episode, the show or the dinner. 11-Sep-2023
80 For Brady (2023)

How elderly women become empowered by idolizing a hot man's physical accomplishment. Wow, maybe football really is gay. 26-Jul-2023
Fear In The Night (1972)

Angelic training makes a wife susceptible to malice because they are mentally unstable. Legends of art accelerated the drama. The table turn was sweet and the film wasn't a horrible waste of time. 22-Jul-2023
Evil Dead Rise (2023) 

Dickless entry in the Evil Dead series. I fell asleep midway through but saw enough of it not to regret it. 16-Jul-2023
Beef (2023-) 

S1E2. I watched it once and it put me to sleep. I tried again and saw until E5 but it couldn't keep me in my seat. The actors didn't shake their co-starring status. The coincidences got silly. The reactions become predictable and repetitive. Rage is not specifically psychoanalyzed and character actualization is shallow. As I watched I thought, "who gives a fuck." In the end, I said "maybe I should go give a fuck somewhere else." 19-Apr-2023
Last Of Us, The (2022-) 



I can't identify with the fairy tale. 27-Feb-2023
There's an odor of mendacity and I'm not sure where its coming from. A different spice gets added every week to give that child's jokebook a break. They run a bath, the water boils, the barbecue is on and we already know who's going to fry. The spices are becoming experiments in art, a lack of inspiring action and insecurity in storytelling. Ellie is the kind of girl that would spit on deaf boy's food when no one is looking. The character is lacking baby Dakota Fanning genius. Papi Pedro's melody sways us to stay for the main course but the thing they think is gumbo, is not. It's, maybe, a protein shake. 13-Feb-2023
Not saving boys or giving them parts in movies is becoming a Hollywood tradition. A snarky and petulant baby girl is rescued so she can realize her dream of becoming a toxic man. Pascal is the footman on the rescue mission and the only one forcing his acting talent to burst. Anna Torv is saddled with being a man whose deep scars hide a harsher man. It's an eerie Walking Dead iteration that seems to add nothing worth noting. 17-Jan-2023
Halloween Ends (2022)

I hope so. Besides the original two, no one has added anything fresh, stimulating or artistic. Michael is psychic now. He can tell when someone's been bad to children, like Santa Claus. They gave Laurie white guilt because she is responsible for unleashing all the serial killers in our community. It felt equivalent to hanging Carroll O'Connor for his amazing portrayal of a bigot. Laurie's feminism got softened. She sets up her granddaughter, that almost got killed by the most famous serial killer ever, with a date that served time for maybe killing a child. Yeah, the kid died. Worst parent ever. Why couldn't they meet on their own without Laurie's instincts being seniled? Absolutely not, you are never leaving this house until that psycho is off the streets! That would have been enough fury to unleash a psycho. Corey's idea of a possible serial killer is smiling like he's auditioning for The Dark Knight: The Joker Reborn. An animated feature. I wished the psychos in my life were that funny. Giving Corey a storyline was a stall tactic because they didn't know how to end it. It's been so long that they forgot the purpose. It mistook the original as schlock entertainment and served it as such. What stood out in the original was the images, hand magic, ideas and symbolism. Awesome music is ingrained, a mask and a scream queen born of Janet Leigh never hurt. Everyone deserved better. 02-Feb-2023
White Noise (2022)

Spending all your time fearing death is not living. Independent housewives who feel apathy in their routine will take an ick to numb it. Of course, the daughter blames the ick for making mama forgetful. Maybe forgetting is the key. Dumb teenager believing everything they read on the internet and sending pregnant daddy on a mental loop cycle because she lost all common sense. He spends all his time annoying with german babbling, recounting tidbits of Hitler's art and bragging how it was the foundation for his career. It's time he paid more attention to his wife. Were the people the toxic cloud? It's irrelevant. It doesn't land and when it wants to, it spirals and crashes. The weight is on Driver but his character is unsympathetic. That's what happens when you try to cash in on someone else's legend. Gerwig lends nothing to a nothing woman that needed lots of pap smears and mental hospitalization. Except for the ick nagging daughter, all the kids were cutouts. Every time Cheadle approached to philosophize nonentities I wished Thanos would make him disappear. It yada yadas to death and says nothing. 02-Jan-2023
Black Adam (2022)

Dwayne Johnson did not consider that the stoic and angry facade of an ancient god is not equivalent to Arnold playing a Terminator. A vengeful all powerful god would have much to express besides muscle matter. The skateboard annoyed me. Studious colored boys did not skate in our hoods. It attracted thieves that would steal it and smash it over our heads. Sarah Shahi played the only invulnerable man on land. At no time did we get to enjoy Noah Centineo's package, neither when he was big or small. Quintess' Cyclone consisted of a Quincenera elf suit and the special powers of Rainbow Brite. It does everything critics dislike about movies and more. Self-introduction, cheerleading, self-promotion, the jesus complex, preaching and copying things misunderstood. It's hard to tolerate a superhero with little vulnerability. It's like watching the same action gif over and over. 21-Dec-2022
Troll (2022)

The movie induces flashbacks to disaster classics that made it tolerable to withstand the subject. The new generation make assorted pieces part of the puzzle. They fit anywhere or not at all. There is an ugly giant troll on the loose and the tree huggers want to coddle it, while the powers that be want to annihilate it. Dude, the bear you're saving is going to rip your head off, they don't give a shit about us, be thoughtful. It does a very big "bad" wrong. They turn his dick into a tail. He drinks too much, ergo, the bulbous nose. He has a preference for innocence, destruction and confusion. Instead of beams pulverizing rocks we get fairytale mumbo jumbo. "Troll" commands you adhere like Captain Sandy and exit like Captain Sandy as soon as the idiot humans show up. 04-Dec-2022
Wednesday (2022-) 

S1E2. It identifies with the world of art without the soul of the artist. Tim Burton's strongpoints are macabre and whimsy. His art is diffused to welcome misguided talent and a questionable existence. Jenna Ortega had already perturbed me as a porn star, the feelings don't tingle for Wednesday at Hogwarts either. She thinks her character is a surly sour bitch when that is what all teens are. If Wednesday, is indeed, a creepmeister she would be hunting the enemy that tried to kill her, to fuck it, enslave it and torture him forever, not Buffy/Cordelia them to death. It's missing a lack of heart. 28-Nov-2022
Jurassic World: Dominion (2022)

The dinos are stunning and grandiose, the familiar faces are warm, whatever stole Chris Pratt's mojo ain't giving it back and Bryce Dallas Howard would have stolen the whole shebang had someone written in a Tammy Faye Bakker impression. The movie confirms that in order to save the planet, we must die. (You didn't think we were sacrificing for us or our children, did you?) 11-Oct-2022
Big Brother (2000-)

Predictability won. I think Monte is even more allergic, now. Anybody can become a winner if they coast on others, represent, wave, purr on stupid menx and endorse chips. The show could not redeem Kyle, with the beautiful legs, with an apology (for deciphering the whole reverse thing) so they included him in a fake audience "favorite"lineup. The winner was given the opportunity to distribute the wealth but chose to Oprah it. 26-Sep-2022
Julie Chen made a music video so I can talk about her. OK, I'm talking about her. Hahahaha! There is a gay romance brewing amongst Monte, who seems allergic to vagina and is posing as a disinterested cis man for money, and Taylor, a beauty contestant whose experience goes beyond waving. Turner is that squishy ass that cis men fuck accidentally when they're drunk or its dark. Brittany resembles a comedian you'd fire from SNL. Boy, I can't wait for Julie Chen to start talking. Wink, wink. 01-Oct-2021
Thor: Love and Thunder (2022)

Natalie Portman's linebacker is not the gayest thing about the movie, a bodyless rock pining for another rock is. Are you kidding me? I want to see Thor's beautiful ass devoured by Zeus. 12-Sep-2022