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All Posts Tagged as 'Shrill Act'

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Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-) Woof

The guests were of the masterly type. A grunt called Hannah Bugs Bunny. That's okay. Hannah called them assholes. Oysters made Hannah hop like a service animal for the rest of the charter.

Captain got dirty.

The rocket is about to land.

Pete knows how to eat and suck on meat bones.

Kiko kicks ass.

That's a fine pretty table, Bugs. 05-Jul-2020
There's a dickhand on board.

Hannah shut the base of an Ace, handled children like flopping fish and got pied in the face.

Captain pied crew members in their face.

The men denied, apologized and mind plotted... revenge.

A rocket was launched.

Kiko did his thing. 24-Jun-2020
Hannah frightened her employee.

Lara sought battle with Hannah by scary military code.

Chef Kiko. I'd lick his plates and nothing else.

The deckhands. Something you mechanically bull ride because you're wrecked.

Neither scientist or cis straight I be to recognize that Jessica is a rocket. (Don't explode.)

Don't call her sweetheart, sweetie or any words with calories. Call her daddy White.

Captain Sandy is commanding more than a boat. Good for her. 15-Jun-2020
Captain Sandy finally twirled her balls and her skirt. 25-Sep-2019
The Flintstones put aside shenanigans to celebrate hard work but only the certified kind. Gifted is out, snobbery is forever. 20-Jul-2019
Wet snouts all season. 12-Sep-2018
I guess its okay to present a woman with an unknown penis if it has vodka in it. 18-Jul-2018
The client reference sheet for food exemplifies how the rich can add waste to the environment. 13-Jun-2018
Rules and liability specifications are locked, there's room for us to guess which crew member will fuck up the hardest and the first clients were "Plantation Rich" (they think having money means they pay for enslavement.) 16-May-2018
Highlights include a lady captain and a lamentable pup, love-thrashed by a pocket siren that exhumes growls and sniffs from the male crew. Hannah quips her way through most of it but then succumbs to the lunacy that all are indulging in. Kate, your turn. 16-Aug-2017
It's everything the initial is yet augmented in the unbalanced crew department. The commander seems perplexed by his spiky helpmates and we shall be banqueted until our brains too become unhinged. It's a preferable fix to the housewives and it fulfills AHS: Asylum munchies. The hottest is the most baked. 30-Jun-2016

Tags: 2010s, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Cooking, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Inappropriate, Mat, Real, Shrill Act, Special, Squish Alert, Suspense, Tacky, Twisty, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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05-Jul-2020


Eurovision Song Contest (2020) Whimper

Brother/sister romance tackle art and temptation at a song contest.

Will Ferrell's character's age kept gnawing at me. How old is he supposed to be? How old is his sister? His father? Ferrell plays the eternal kid that refuses to wear big boy britches even for comfort. Ours.

Rachel McAdams deserved a singing partner.

Dan Stevens left it at the Abbey. He should go pick it up.

I knew it was Demi Lovato before I saw her. It was the screaming.

The music is way too silly to enjoy, coming in constant waves of annoyance. I don't care what the rules are, sing it live. Too much? 01-Jul-2020

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Comedy, Director Slouch, Drama, Gay Swatch, Grating, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Retread, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Timid, Unfunny, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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01-Jul-2020


Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019) Arf

Star Wars is one of the most challenging series to keep alive. Each post iteration appearing shiny and new with ardent fandom, bounteous clamor and no history or relevance to match any of the original three. They are only embers of the force.

JJ dropped the soap. Politics clenched the dynamic and criticism quelled his enthusiasm. He did not lend his panoramic to anything past what we would see in a video game.

It spent too much time preaching the force and little time explaining anything else.

Kylo Ren worked better with his mask on. (He was more intimidating.)

Zori Bliss would have worked better with her mask off.

Lando and the phantasms of veteran greats brought the force but the new power was missing a united purpose that would compel them to overcome the awkwardness. You can't expect much from an actor whose belly is full.

Everything old as new is delight, everything new and unthought of is bah...everything new and shiny, rusts. 20-Jun-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, By the Numbers, Camp, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, Fantasy, Fatigue, Loud, Macho Posing, Music Swings, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Sap, SciFi, Shrill Act, Star Watt, Timid, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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20-Jun-2020


Birds of Prey (2020) Bites

Robbie is missing the lilt and the energy that would whip Harley Quinn into a showpiece. The women in charge plaster the screen with cartoon abandon, avoid psychoanalyzing themselves and express no vulnerability that would compel a unique perspective. The film lacks a heart. It's like a man directed it. 13-Jun-2020

Tags: 2020s, Action Stomper, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cold, Comic Book, Dialogue Lament, Director Insanity, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Fantasy, Fatigue, Macho Posing, Mean Spirited, Musical Bombast, Oncer, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Revenge, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Timid, Too Long, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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14-Jun-2020


Below Deck: Sailing Yacht (2020-) ArfUpgradeWoof

Jen protested and slimed with the cook.

Georgia celebrated freedom by calling Jen a bully and telling her bff that she had designs on her husband. She goes Love Island and tells daddy too.

Paget's dick-o-meter flew in so many directions, I thought he was going to explode. Every time he got close to Ciara, the meter resisted, it was pointing elsewhere and he made it obvious. The moment when his meter is pointed straight at her (his worth,) is priceless.

Happy deck grew on me.

Adam's chirpiness can come off as secretly plotting.

Byron finally got to go home and put all those nasty thoughts to rest.

Madison is a bright spot that makes me laugh.

The captain earned his daddy stripes. 29-May-2020
The dysfunctional guests creeped and Popeye politely reprimanded Olive Oyl for spending too much time on Adam's face and she reciprocated by using her female empowerment to rampage against her underlings and proclaiming that man worship prioritizes all job responsibilities. 19-May-2020
Adam got horny again.

Women are impeded from good work with a penis in their face.

Madison's stab at Kim and Kanye, beheaded.

Happy deck's pajama bulge might warrant why he's happy.

Ciara couldn't curtail her man so she turned in a female colleague. Brava! That's empowerment. 11-May-2020
Captain had his spinach and almost blew the boat over.

Madison only bitched for half the show. Joy.

Georgia needs to drop her mic.

Parker in his skivvies. I think I found Georgia's mic.

Jenna was groundhogging... miscommunication with man, over and over.

Come on Ciara, you can take her.

Adam. He only found his trousers after cuming inside Jenna. She is safe until the next cycle.

LOL. 05-May-2020
A dangerous threesome is about to explode. May the best woman win? Really?

Georgia, you shouldn't flirt if it changes the flow.

Madison appeared to be chill, creating negative balls of energy to allow us to perceive and laugh at the ridiculous circumstances they are in but she's being ghost boated because she truly truly believes it.

Byron doesn't talk much but gives the impression that he's always thinking about sex.

Adam didn't realize that women appreciate the money put into getting them flowers. It has nothing to do with flowers.

There is way too much happiness emanating from the new deck.

The boat was stocked with super Cleopatras on tiptoe allowing macho toxicity to beg for something women no longer give. The primary pulled away from a hug before giving it and handed the captain the envelope on the second reach. That felt very supreme.

Alas, the best was saved for last, as the cameraman went Hitchcock and directed Adam's rampage like the conversations Norman Bates had with his mother. If it was true, it was sadly hilarious. 28-Apr-2020
Money solved all their problems.

The only funny the brutes laid out was calling chef, Ted Bundy. The saddest thing chef did was exhibit why. 17-Mar-2020
The chugalug got invaded by woke tacks radiating American political correctness as growled on social media. They use the black guy to intimidate the boat, they have no respect for work, time, money or sex and the show needs to punish them for it. I know that cameramen don't interfere but under these circumstances they have to. Is that a rule now?

(I think the chief stew and the chef get paid extra to hookup.) 10-Mar-2020
Sailing is an experience that whelms whilst you're doing it. Watching people and things keel over only titillates once.

The crew is intent on capturing attention but they are bland fish hooked on a line.

Pro reproduction banishment conversations are welcome. 26-Feb-2020

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Camp, Drama, Fatigue, Overcooked, Reality, Relationships, Showy, Shrill Act, Travel

Filed under: TV

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29-May-2020


Uncut Gems (2019) Arf

I feel about jewelry like others feel about watermelons.

The film consisted of many genres, high broiling, at improbable levels. Sandler steadies the flow, not allowing the top to blow off and steering the steam back into action. Talking over each other annoys, the pitch was trembly, the support were emblems, the coincidences were easy to spot and the finale was extensive. It zapped my brain. 28-May-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Cold, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Funny, Life, Loud, Over the Top, Shrill Act, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Too Long, Weird, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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28-May-2020


Camp Getaway (2020-) No MoonsEarly Exit

It needs a serial killer. 13-May-2020

Tags: 2020s, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Discomfort, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Grating, Insulting, Juvenile, Out of Place, Reality, Relationships, Sexist, Shrill Act, Silly, Static, Tacky, Warbly

Filed under: TV

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13-May-2020


Cats (2019) BitesEarly Exit

Of course, I was going to hate it. Wrecked performances, grave CGI, clipped penises and roach choreography. I couldn't finish it. 09-May-2020

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Creepy, Director Insanity, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Eye Gouge, Fantasy, Fatigue, Horror, Indecipherable, Music Murders, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Preposterous, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Vague, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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09-May-2020


Never Have I Ever (2020-) BitesEarly Exit

Female driven fairytale of teen empowerment. To obtain such merit, a girl must prioritize "the shortcuts," suppress the lower stereotypes, pounce on a superior royal animal and have it grant her that royal fucking that will liberate her. (So, all girls think.) I don't remember kids talking like this, I hope kids aren't talking like this and I definitely hope they don't start. One episode of unawareness, lack of emotional study and an honest laugh, had me bolting. In fairytales there are no lessons without a witch.

Niecy Nash glimmered gingerly. 08-May-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Comedy, Cultural, Drama, Early Exit, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, Maddening, Manipulation, Out of Place, Overcooked, Political, Preachy, Predictable, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Tired, Unfunny, Warbly, Writ For Short Attn Spans

Filed under: TV

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08-May-2020


Summer House (2017-) Whimper

Every party is a cleanse for every dream that wont come true. 07-May-2020
Truth party games. Wow, they really work.

The girls are friends again until the next bout of horniness trumps it. 01-May-2020
The green giant has sexual dysfunction and old people getting it on, is sick. 23-Apr-2020
Had no idea there was clamor for more. It's back to the future where we get to see grandpappy hook-ups in real time. "Me too" is a charity, feminine wiles are an exaltation, closets are for sex not coming out, women love big things, men are horny and crass mugs that only hold intelligent conversations whilst on the hunt and remain stupid after they fox it. I have no idea what they represent but my generation is enthralled and disturbed. 13-Mar-2020
A band-aid of happy endings. 29-Jul-2019
The gay got replaced by a floaty and a scary virgin. The elders are not aging gracefully and the show has gone from being my chore radio to white noise. When you watch reality TV you get to experience the damage our parents wrought. 23-Jul-2019
- Supreme Ken Doll (Kyle) needs to explore why he prefers living in a blur
- Waiting is a virtue (Amanda) - only if you know what you're waiting for
- Lindsay realized that change only happens when you apply it to yourself. Good for her
- The salt (Danielle) was overtaken by hot peppers (twins)
- The inactive (Stephen) needs to divert his hostility towards his parents. They are the reason he can't move forward
- The blistering giant's (Carl) self awareness allows him to take from life easily 19-Jul-2019
In season two they added salt to mild, endowed the gay with a bitch rap and the desperation from separation (relationships/careers) was dialed up a notch. Stephen needs to accept his het counterpart like he'd like to be. If he's really a friend he would appreciate Carl's flamboyance and his disregard for what people think of him. Hotness attracts men. Hot shit spills over. Unless you only have eyes for him...that's a different problem. 15-Jul-2019
It does stereotype well. Twins are still annoying, blondes are vacant, the gay needs an apron, the ex-fatboy is out for revenge and the women still have no clue what's flashing in a man's face. The man knows. Mind boggling. I may become obsessed by it or immune. 12-Jul-2019

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Cliche, Fake, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, Overcooked, Reality, Relationships, Shrill Act, Tacky, Weird

Filed under: TV

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07-May-2020


Frozen II (2019) Whimper

Its beauty is deceptive.

There is no thought or flourish to the story and no realism to the dialogue. Children have deeper conversations than this.

They are constantly bombarded by magical things, yet still wonder at the next.

The songs are its enemy. The songwriters write songs for talkers not classically trained singers. The musical artists could not wrap their talent around them. The words weren't tonal or melodious. (A thesaurus might have helped.) Each song was a giant whoopee cushion to the ear.

I wished the snowman had melted. (I'm sorry, I've spent too much time with Gervais.)

The presentation is built to make a grown man cringe.

If it weren't so gorgeous, I'd stop fucking it.

Bring on number 3. (Sigh) 02-May-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Beautiful, By the Numbers, Camp, Director's Touch, Drama, Ear Prick, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Gay Swatch, Grating, Manipulation, Music Murders, Musical Bombast, Preachy, Sap, Shrill Act, Timid

Filed under: Movies

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02-May-2020


Married At First Sight (2014-) ArfUpgradeWoof

Season Finale/Reunion. The doctor punched bluebeard, host daddy was a hormonal explosion and the show followed my script to the letter. I felt sorry for the last married couple on earth as they endured the horrors of others' relationships. Austin, particularly looked sick. The show is getting very close to hosting Fear Factor editions but is having fun on it's way there. 25-Apr-2020
S10. It's been tough relating or tolerating this season.

The experts are sinking into quack territory.

Mandy finally got rid of Bluebeard (Zach.) Hooray!

Taylor and Brandon. He's just stalling until the next bout of insecurity hits so he can explode. Run, girl.

Meka and Michael. A man doesn't change...he pretends. Run, girl.

Jessica and Austin. He will say I love you as soon as you forgive his first business travel discrepancy.

Katie and Derek. He's privileged and she's insecure. Eek.

Giving everyone a lie detector test before the show would give the experts some cred and avoid giving us another inadmissible season. 27-Mar-2020
S7E6. Naivete about the experiment is no longer viable because the mice have been coached by previous seasons. It's the show's sanity at test because the mice are the new experts that will mold the show through its entirety. As each season passes and we tire of them, the couples will most likely end up swapping with each other (see season 5, alpha Ashley Petty deserved alpha Cody Knapek and Anthony deserved for Danielle to put him on a diet.) The premise will continue to work because God's plan brought them together. The queens giving men sex, before and after catastrophe struck, was downright professional. 23-Oct-2019
Uh Oh. S6. Shawniece and Jephte made adorability joyous. May they enjoy an 88. 20-Oct-2019
S5E7. Fuck the experts, listen to the dogs! 05-Oct-2019
Experts encouraging couples to overlook red flags in a marriage because pretense defeats how a person feels. 21-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Brutal, Drama, Fantasy, Funny, Real, Relationships, Romance, Scary, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Tacky, Thriller, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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25-Apr-2020


Too Hot To Handle (2020-) Bites

No sex games, stripper parties or porn stars performing anatomy tricks. No Casa De Amor with an hour free of rules to tempt anyone. A lame exercise in controlling the libido does not a better date candidate make and I have no idea what point it's trying to make. (The winner takes home about $12.00 after taxes.) 19-Apr-2020
The norm is hornier than I thought. Love Island Castaways land on Mt. Celibacy and are tortured into going straight. The women are boob jocks and the men prance around blowing bro bubbles. The understanding is that what an independent woman wants, is a servant. It's not daring or tacky, not willing to titillate on a channel that permits it and not willing to locate a winning politic. "Tom Holland future" is an eerie panty shredder, women are still reaching for the biggest/complicated things, unruly racism is itching closer to our faces and Jesus left because he couldn't stand them. 18-Apr-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Creepy, Cultural, Fake, Horror, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, No Chemistry, Reality, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Weird

Filed under: TV

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19-Apr-2020


Jumanji: The Next Level (2019) Bites

It looks like the same level to me. There is a wisp of outrageous hilarity that ensues when we first hear Dwayne and Kevin attempt new accents, but it vanishes as soon as you sober up. There is only so much failure you can laugh at. I sat down in my boxers to get actioned up and ended up with shredded panties. There was so much sap that the pancakes runneth over. 15-Apr-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Daddy Squish, Director Slouch, Fantasy, Fatigue, Grating, Indecipherable, Loud, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Sap, Sentimental, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tedium, Timid, Timid Effects, Writer Humiliation

Filed under: Movies

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15-Apr-2020


Rim Of The World (2019) Bites

Aliens have invaded and, it's up to 4 pups, to save the world. The children are cliches and stereotypes discharging sexual innuendos, inappropriate confusion and fake bravado. The script particularly hates most of the black characters as they exist to be the brunt of a joke and are the fastest to grate. The aliens don't look or act like they can access tech because their design is jurassic. No fun, just crap. 13-Apr-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Action, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Camp, Dialogue Lament, Director Insanity, False Action, Fatigue, Grating, Inappropriate, Indecipherable, Loud, Macho Posing, Oncer, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Timid, Weird, Writer Humiliation

Filed under: Movies

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13-Apr-2020




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