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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Shrill Act'

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Mitchells vs The Machines, The (2021) Whimper

Teen lesbian leaving for school has her life upended when Siri takes over the world and her dorky family is in charge of saving it. The adventures rely on coincidence, loud family squabbles, pet abuse, girl empowerment, gay robots and swirly pops to the brain. The voices don't humanize or endear themselves to us. Does Michael Rianda really think that he sounds like a cute little boy? It ends like every new animation whose heart beats like a girl. Go, girls! Do whatever the fuck you want! 06-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Stomper, Cold, Comedy, Disappointment, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, SciFi, Shrill Act, Timid, Too Long, Unfunny, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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06-May-2021


Promising Young Woman (2020) Arf

It's a perfect outline for Catwoman. The anticipation of her masking up and punishing would have been worth the slog. Carey Mulligan keeps a dead expression throughout a lifelong career of avenging a wrongdoing to a friend. She doesn't revel in her revenge. She feels without actually feeling.

A psycho gets off on its craft, sexually, mentally and or physically. This is why directors yell things like, "loosen the fuck up!" to actors. This was a missed opportunity for Mulligan to create her own Joker but she refused to laugh. The ending would have banged harder had she been Catwoman or Halle Berry. 07-Apr-2021

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Director Slouch, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Political, Preposterous, Shrill Act, Timid, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ w/Possibilities

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07-Apr-2021


Where The Boys Are (1984) Whimper

Cis men will get a hard-on during. 75%. Gay men will get a hard-on going. 55%. Women only see what they want to see. 100%. Romance knows no bounds. Hangover. 13-Feb-2021

Tags: 1980s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director Insanity, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Horny, Hot Swatch, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Preposterous, Relationships, Romance, Sexist, Sexy, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Tough, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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13-Feb-2021


New Mutants, The (2020) Bites

Caged mutants. It stifles their capabilities and our enjoyment. I want to see them conquer the world that is familiar to us. It takes cues from the Freddy Krueger series, ho humming along and invading the lab rats' nightmares. Big Bad is stale and the action needed some throwback. Misplaced hair is my pet peeve. There's loads of it. The lesbians elicited some heart, Sunspot singed some hard-ons and the rest needed something to believe. So did we. 03-Feb-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Comic Book, Crapfun, Director Hands Off Approach, Drama, Funny, Sort of, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Inactivity, Oncer, Predictable, Preposterous, SciFi, Sentimental, Shrill Act, Silly, Slow, Stupid Funny, Weird, Wit Crack

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03-Feb-2021


Star Wars: The Phantom Menace (1999) Whimper

I went retro and revisited some films that weren't to my liking. If it weren't for Lucas magic this film would be one of the worst. The child. Poor thing. No training, no soul. I would have skipped to the Superboy years one second after the awesome pod race. Liam Neeson didn't seem taken by the force. The words meant nothing to him. It was a job. MacGregor's head moved stiffly and he looked like he cracked up before and after many line readings. Jar Jar Binks was created by party people with no exceeding limits. I watched him drunk and still found him annoying. Natalie Portman must have looked blankly at countless fake CGI things because she applied it to humans as well. The voice she inflected was cockamamie and infectious. Yoda isn't as cute as The Child. At all. Blathering old idiot. Robes don't flow in saber fights and future love relations are not impactful if one babysat the other. The director worked beyond the force. The fans publicly cheered while quietly sighing. Darth Maul was a pocket. It makes a good game but not a good film. 02-Feb-2021

Tags: 1990s, Action, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Experiment, Director Insanity, Director's Slice, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Sort of, Grating, Kool Effects, Music Swings, Over the Top, Sap, SciFi, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Tedium, Timid, Weird

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02-Feb-2021


Fantasy Island (2020) Bites

Michael Pena is not a suave sexy latin charmer. I thought he was going to play Tattoo, running around in a baby cart yelling "the plane, the plane." Maggie Q exuded the elegance of a legend but had no chemistry with her token black family. Lucy Hale, sporting a disconcerting schnauzer cut, was too much. It was a total disrespect of a shitty show that entertained. 12-Jan-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Dialogue Lament, Director Hands Off Approach, False Action, Fatigue, Grating, Manipulation, Predictable, Preposterous, Scare Obvious, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny, Tacky

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12-Jan-2021


First Wives Club, The (1996) Arf

A feminist excuse to avenge a man for wanting tighter lips. Great actress charm deduced to a stigma. If feminism was all about cutting daddy's dick why all the fuss to get their children married? More witnesses? What the fuck is the difference between a regular lesbian and a big one? More tongue? 02-Jan-2021

Tags: 1990s, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Funny, Gay Swatch, Lesbian, Mean Spirited, Music Swings, Political Satire, Relationships, Shrill Act, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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02-Jan-2021


Hand Of Death (1962) Bites

A scientist thinks he's developed a nerve gas that immobilizes instead of kill. With the support of his love establishment and business connections, he is granted money and freedom to keep his experimentation thriving. But weary scientists have accidents. The gas fumes turn him into an Unfantastical Thing. The coincidences are comical, the scares don't stir a tree but Paula Raymond is a fantabulous scream. 01-Jan-2021

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, By the Numbers, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Director Insanity, Fantasy, Funny, Horror, Preposterous, SciFi, Shrill Act, Tacky, Weird, Writ w/Possibilities

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01-Jan-2021


We Can Be Heroes (2020) Bites

It's a kid's film. There are kids in it. It looks like candy. It's stupid. You mean brilliant stupid? No I mean silly stupid. 29-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Art Devoid, Baby Wrecks, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Coincidence Laden, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Corn, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Director Insanity, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Grating, Over the Top, Political Satire, Preposterous, Revenge, Sad Effects, SciFi, Shrill Act, Silly, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Weird, Writ w/Possibilities

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29-Dec-2020


Rock-A-Bye Baby (1958) Woof

Starlet is knocked up by a Mexican bullfighter that she drunkenly married one day and literally died the next. Her career is on the upswing. Her next film is entitled "The White Virgin Of The Nile." With no recourse, she turns to her childhood buddy and hometown slub for help. After a secret birth, she delivers him the babies to babysit while she makes the film. Jerry Lewis' exasperating talent is at half mast. When he lets loose we cringe, when he sings and curls his lip we bite ours. He won't let comedy be. He needs to smash it with babyface spasms and off-color perversity. He doesn't matter one bit. It's a beautiful film to observe. The music is light, the story is sweet and life was simple. Marilyn Maxwell exemplifies the Hollywood Goddesses of her time and the clothes accentuated her power. Connie Stevens was purity enchantment. It's a piece of candy I didn't want but I tried it and couldn't stop eating or talking about it. 20-Dec-2020

Tags: 1950s, Accidental Watch, Action Stomper, Brutal, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Director Movement, Director's Touch, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Eye Gouge, Funny, Sort of, Good Acting, Music Swings, Over the Top, Physical Humor, Relationships, Romance, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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20-Dec-2020


Prom,The (2020) Whimper

When I was in high school I thought white people made up the idea of proms for the purpose of Hollywood entertainment. It wasn't until my 4th year that I noticed a prom announcement on the school bulletin board. Holy crap! Those stupid dances are real. It wasn't part of my culture and no one in my family ever met anyone who went to one. I can't celebrate the idea of adults hijacking a prom to allow a same sex couple to participate. The musical is a whirlwind of gay propoganda. I'm tired of watching gay films that suppress us into political statements. LGBTQ teens are committing suicide at hostile rates because we refuse to acknowledge that our lives suck which means they don't get any answers. Unless we start supplying our babies with ways to cope with their lives there is no celebration. 13-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Comedy, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Manipulation, Musical, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Political, Preposterous, Shrill Act, Silly

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13-Dec-2020


Rust Creek (2018)  Whimper

Little girl with a city attitude thinks she can ruff it in the wild where dicks run free and viagra doesn't help. It's an ode to hillbilly hate, police corruption and fine young specimens in peril. Nothing works, the whole is an extension to corroborate a repetitive premise whose replacement parts don't carry on. Poor stupid girl. 07-Dec-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Macho Posing, Mystery, Shrill Act, Silly, Suspense, Thriller, Timid, Wit Crack

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07-Dec-2020


Home For The Holidays (1995) Whimper

Rabid family holiday. Foster's mind is a jumble. Flamboyantly directed, fussed over and disrespected. Robert Downey Jr.'s gay brother flitted about like a crazed woodpecker perching and flapping uncontrollably to our discomfort and limited endurance. Giving a cute girl the sniffles for the entirety of a film is not romantic or sexy. It's a family home visit without the drinks. Where's the fun in that? 05-Dec-2020

Tags: 1990s, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Insanity, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Grating, Holiday, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preposterous, Relationships, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Weird, Wit Crack

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05-Dec-2020


A Cinderella Christmas (2016) Whimper

Romance is a concept. Love is that universal fantasy that can fix anything and achieve nothing. This film is an instructional manual on how an alpha can easily capture his sucker mate. It works for the sluts too. It's a fake luxury liner. Cinderella gains a selfish cousin and loses two step-sisters and an evil step-mother. She is now raised by an unconscious uncle whose stupidity is explained as a parental failure. The prince is a ginormous hairy butted banging bottom whose perfection was created from Jesus spit and is a representation of why women and twinks do video splits. If you can't recognize a person beyond a face mask you're full of shit. He expounds worship daddy constantly, celebrating the quantity of women beluga he's chipped. A Scooby Doo member is the fairy godmother, the men act like its an NFL recruitment session and the women compete to the death to get that middle cheerleading spot. The howls of orgasmic virgins drown out the Christmas bells and kill any sign of Christmas cheer. They want us to horn in but the prince's tights aren't tight enough. 29-Nov-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, By the Numbers, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Gay Swatch, Holiday, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Romance, Sexist, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny, Tech Grunts, Wit Crack

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29-Nov-2020


Dora And The Lost City Of Gold (2019) Arf

Latin spunk, sense of adventure, poop songs, fart swamps, cousin flirtations, CGI friends and city ineptitude. It's Dora The Explorer. The parents (Pena/Longoria) are cute but their exploration days seem limited to couch surfing for leftover Tostitos to finish off their guacamole dip. Nancy Pelosi makes the most of her cameo by surprising as a jungle witch. (I kid.) It qualifies as a most craptacular stupid thing that makes a sad heart laugh. 25-Oct-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Action, Camp, Comedy, Crapfun, Cultural, Cute, Director Insanity, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Funny, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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25-Oct-2020




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