All Posts Tagged as 'TV-like'

The child did extraordinary things, quoted words not associated with children and plagiarized previous strokes. The last minute saves were so expected that emotional attachment got lost. Melissa Barrera gave Faith from Buffy vibes. Dan Stevens was blank. The first surprise is like everything before it. Once the cat is out of the bag the movie falls into WB TV status. Yes, it was a surprise but a sucky one. 28-Nov-2024

There's more than stupidity going on here. The cast is amiable and hardworking. Britt is a misdiagnosed charmer. Prattes legs were mesmerizing, it's fun to see old witches again, Maxwell Caulfield's moment was a go daddy thing, Chad Michael Murray had the body, the robotics, enthusiasm and Farrah's hair. They derailed the "hate at first love" train and depicted how people really get together. I didn't stay for the pancakes but I waited for the bacon. Merry whatever the fucks! 25-Nov-2024

The only Madame Web I know is from the Spider-Man animated series. She was an elder with psychic gifts who spiritually assisted Peter Parker. The comic book origins were tinkered with, pulled and redesigned into a television movie. There are about 2 minutes of Spider-women geared up and it's not enough. The ladies were solid but the story was squishy. New Spider-man is the only suited one which renders fights unfair since the girls have no powers. If they were trying for subtlety they should have hired an out of the box writer and director. The ladies sprinkled enough fairy dust for me to follow them but their destinies lead to shit. 14-May-2024

You tell the truth to be heard and you tell lies to get out of jams that being honest beget. The end road is making lies happen. Two wives use a girls vacation to fuck other people. Something bad happens and the rest is a mystery that confines the leads and surprises as much as it doesn't. It satiates like a Lifetime movie with cigarettes. 13-Mar-2024

The film suffers from The Green Lantern and Quantum effect. If the creators wanted to take us to other worlds, the trip needed to be worth it. Skrulls with no power are obsolete. I think they took the green screen too literally. Most of the actors looked like they were talking to the back-heads of stand-ins or more green screens. The ladies became 3 instruments that didn't play well together. Distance was put between them. The glowey thing that Capt. Marvel displays when she's on, reminds one of the Quantum sky. Another action killer was giving the women the same power effect. So we don't distinguish or because it was easier? The big bad could only have gotten better had they cast that crazy lady from the Power Rangers. I thought Dar-Benn was blind for the first few minutes of the film. If she looked down, would her head-piece have fallen off? All the ladies came as they are because hair and makeup were in a rush to return to social media. They looked unkempt and shook. They would never dare look this ratched on the red carpet where fans aren't paying them to create movie magic. Somber heroes zigzagging to nowhere for nobody. I never thought of Monica Rambeau as interesting, I liked Kamala on the smaller screen but... and we all know what Carol Danvers is. The reason I liked female heroines was because they were a break from extremism and added a softer solution to the action and they were beautiful. If women keep denying themselves in order to become men, hugs will be cancelled. They can do anything? Be a girl. Good hair, make-up and dress will fulfill the rest. See: Barbie. Imagine if she was ugly and without sex appeal. No mucho $. Musicland was an in-law family situation humiliation activity. Nobody swags like they care so why bother? Was Frasier the only white man allowed in the building or was he CGId? 07-Feb-2024

The pace had no time to set-up character appreciation, it had a billion particles to settle. The family dynamic was food, drink, celebration and insanity. George Lopez added comedy schtick to his act. He looked like a character booted from Bedrock because he was too loud and ornery. The breast queen should be playing Lady MacBeth not becoming a free TV actor. I can see her washing blood from her hands and implementing Elvira's cleavage cut. The rest of the family and the leads apply stereotypes without explaining them. There is no such thing as a stereotype because it's only a description of our heritage. Universal speak. Nobody passed the classic TV Q test and the silliness hardly stopped. The best of the mythology turned into a fiesta. The family went everywhere together. Really? When did they masturbate? Why did the family get superpowers? Beetle's nemesis was a bigger and badder version of himself. Couldn't we have gotten something a little different? If the production wanted to fill the female quota, why didn't they concoct some awesome female villains? He has lots and no villain is scarier than a latin woman scorned. She'll slash your tires. 27-Nov-2023

Can a mother take responsibility for her son's incapacity to succeed and his desire to violently hurt women like her? Elizabeth Montgomery plays a respected community buyer that doesn't like anyone sullying her corrupt family name. The son has mother issues. She's abrasive and always disruptive. She thinks that if he listened to her that he would become a responsible man. Her son doesn't know how to act like a man because his mother didn't bestow him many survival skills. Beauty, abeyance, avarice and good manners are the best of the few. She approves of nothing the man does or fucks except when she wants to make out with him. The man's anger issues come with. Elizabeth's mother doesn't click until the end when she stops practicing and becomes. She came in eager like Serena and exited like Elizabeth, the good bitch. Dale Midkiff's son was gifted looks to hide his nuts. He didn't have to fake much. There is good cast support. It jams a lot of information that hampered the complexity of the characters but law and order held. 18-Mar-2023

Jessica Lange tortures Gwyneth Paltrow because she can. Unfortunately, not enough to qualify for Mommie Dearest status. The editing is abrasive and the film has the confidence of a TV movie from the 80s. Schaech is a floral centerpiece and the ladies work it but the movie is melodramatic. 10-Mar-2023

I hope so. Besides the original two, no one has added anything fresh, stimulating or artistic. Michael is psychic now. He can tell when someone's been bad to children, like Santa Claus. They gave Laurie white guilt because she is responsible for unleashing all the serial killers in our community. It felt equivalent to hanging Carroll O'Connor for his amazing portrayal of a bigot. Laurie's feminism got softened. She sets up her granddaughter, that almost got killed by the most famous serial killer ever, with a date that served time for maybe killing a child. Yeah, the kid died. Worst parent ever. Why couldn't they meet on their own without Laurie's instincts being seniled? Absolutely not, you are never leaving this house until that psycho is off the streets! That would have been enough fury to unleash a psycho. Corey's idea of a possible serial killer is smiling like he's auditioning for The Dark Knight: The Joker Reborn. An animated feature. I wished the psychos in my life were that funny. Giving Corey a storyline was a stall tactic because they didn't know how to end it. It's been so long that they forgot the purpose. It mistook the original as schlock entertainment and served it as such. What stood out in the original was the images, hand magic, ideas and symbolism. Awesome music is ingrained, a mask and a scream queen born of Janet Leigh never hurt. Everyone deserved better. 02-Feb-2023

The Batman is the only character that suits up. How lonely for him. He's always the freak. The support enact realistic iterations of characters that lit up Batman's mythology to absolutely no effect. The Riddler is a demented teen who was brought up by an unfunny father who worked the mines. The riddles were blah. There is no Riddler without a tight body suit, a tight body and demented cynicism. Daddy Farrell wasted a lot of time in makeup, creating art out of a role that doesn't belong. He is not penguin. I didn't see any top hats, monocles or bullet umbrellas. Michelle Pfeiffer's reign as the best film Catwoman cannot be extinguished. Zoe is an everyday gorgeous girl not a cat. Her cowl is just as cheap and unintelligible as I expected. Her lack of meow hurts. Commissioner Gordon was a lackey. Everything was eeeeewww and he was always waiting for Batman to finish things up for him. Daddy Turturro knew exactly what the director wanted and gave it to us. Alfred and Bruce's interaction was rude. The parental bond was cold. Why hire an Aunt Harriet if she's not going to be an Aunt Harriet? That might have been fun. Oops. Sorry. Fun not allowed. The Twins were cute. Robert Pattinson is the glue you want to stick to because he makes you ponder how his beautifully broken humanity can create life from something he hates. I saw love in Zoe's face when she looked at him. I saw panty dropping aloofness register from his. Batman's narration doesn't mesh with toxic revenge. The moments he celebrated were my cringe. This isn't Batman. He doesn't laud himself or others. He's a lonely motherfucker that hates the world because he lost mommy and daddy to crime and got stuck in a mansion with a pervy butler. Batman's detective work failed from a lack of gadget magic. Yeah! Rich angry fucks love gadgets. Matt Reeves strikes potent pictures but was entrapped by a franchise that is petrified of its origins. The man/woman who gives us comic book Batman with realistic choices will become King of The World. What's the point of hiding in the shadows if everyone can hear you? 18-Apr-2022

A talented cast is assembled to remake a classic remade too many times with bigger bluster. A downfall of blockbusters but not of little films. They can sneak in some truth without being punished. It's a parody that attempts to bring circumstances, thoughts and decisions to the shenanigans. Idina has grade A moments in song and in soul sharing. Billy brought his showmanship. The prince passed the "inferno" test with a flip and a voice. We waited for Minnie Driver to awake and when it happens, it is fitting. 007 hits his marks like a gunslinger. Cabello looks like a waitress from different eras in all of her guises but she can sing, act, charm and have fun. I had fun. It belongs to a future cult. 13-Feb-2022

Pleasant nothingness of youth. 06-Oct-2021

Miss Brooks is a respected English teacher who's moved to a new town for a progressive opportunity. Competitiveness at work is minimal as she plays well with boys, stimulates her students and knocks sense into obstinate parents. She has a desperate need to settle down which is not characteristic of a woman that's acquired equality. She's good at everything. She has the cutest landlady, a rich daddy, a working daddy, a great job, the esteem of the community and she's smart. The film has sitcom sensibilities and a pleasant Desilu alumni. Gale Gordon was a pratfall master that endured a lot of physical punishment to make us laugh. I laughed. Eve Arden was a master wit. She told it like it was and lived it. She was an act of freedom. 05-Sep-2021

Patty Jenkins went on a shopping spree with the film's budget. Did she leave most of it home? It opens with baby Diana discovering clever ways to somersault at the White Female Olympics. She's unbearable, I mean unbeatable even as a child. Cue applause and adoration. There should have been a lot of irony in a woman raised to best everyone, even in goodness. Years of not belonging in the world would have brought her detachment from it. She wouldn't fall apart over Steve Trevor and she definitely wouldn't pine for him for over a 100 years. Compassion is a side effect of a movement. Coldness is a statistic of war. Everything you hate about the movies is in this one. The older maidens are given minimal time. (They didn't study their accents, again.) Cheetah might have been intriguing as a black character with white superiority issues. Yes, make it a race thing. Pedro Pascal left his guts on the floor while Ms. Jenkins took a nap. Steve's explanation for existing in the future was best established on the 70s TV series. Future Steve could have been the great grandson of dead Steve. Incestuous hook-ups and emotional consequences. It would have been a great place to establish personal turmoil. Gadot needed to wear some of the tear in Wonder Woman's battle history to find her strength because it ain't crying.

Patty Jenkins killed Wonder Woman. 14-May-2021

Lilly James never grows into the character of Mrs. De Winter, married to a beautiful giant with the power of entitlement and a haunted past. She's a bumbler who goes head to head with a stern HOH named Mrs. Danvers whose the only person in charge. Kristin Scott Thomas sinks her teeth into a classic character that was a delightful fright but whose persona has been abbreviated to a devoted staff member. The best manipulations are designated to other characters which kills Mrs. Danvers psychosis and grants Thomas no fun. The story has been fidgeted, the lush is unimpressive, the style is non-existent, James is not the woman for the job and Hammer is a pretty package with no clue as to how to play a rich gorgeous dick. I would have preferred to see Rebecca's story play out. Mrs. Danvers could have pined for her mistress while Rebecca crushed men's spirits. Missed opportunity for some classic lesbian fun and threesomes with the Hammer. 23-Oct-2020