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All Posts Tagged as 'By the Numbers'

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Green Room (2015) Whimper

Band of vagabonds get punished by nazis for playing crappy rock or because they witnessed a crime. Sir Patrick Stewart was hired to class up the film and the "n" word. Anton Yelchin's heroism is a John Connor (Terminator) facsimile with substandard realization. The film lost me as soon as the punk picks up his phone to call the police for a kill that wasn't directed at him. What is the purpose of nazis if there is no racial conflict? (They don't need the props.) They were dim and disoriented and anything but scary. It stalls, it repeats, it celebrates and I believed very little of it. 28-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Insanity, Drama, Fatigue, Good Acting, Gore, Horror, Hot Swatch, Macho Posing, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Star Watt, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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28-Mar-2020


All Of Me (1984) Whimper

Instead of a body switch Mr. Reiner chose partial possession which is one of the most improbable storylines attempted ever. We want no change in anything but the story. The pros (Martin and Tomlin) don't embarrass easily because it makes sense that great comedy training includes stupidity. Martin freights most of it and freewheels in an agitated state that unnerves us but never hinders us from lapping up his star charm. Lily didn't feel like an equal because she was stuck in a mirror for most of it but her adorable cheekiness and one liners hit. The dance was still cute. 25-Mar-2020

Tags: 1980s, Art Devoid, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Good Acting, Magnetism, Music Swings, Over the Top, Preposterous, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

Filed under: Movies

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25-Mar-2020


Below Deck: Sailing Yacht (2020-) Arf

Money solved all their problems.

The only funny the brutes laid out was calling chef, Ted Bundy. The saddest thing chef did was exhibit why. 17-Mar-2020
The chugalug got invaded by woke tacks radiating American political correctness as growled on social media. They use the black guy to intimidate the boat, they have no respect for work, time, money or sex and the show needs to punish them for it. I know that cameramen don't interfere but under these circumstances they have to. Is that a rule now?

(I think the chief stew and the chef get paid extra to hookup.) 10-Mar-2020
Sailing is an experience that whelms whilst you're doing it. Watching people and things keel over only titillates once.

The crew is intent on capturing attention but they are bland fish hooked on a line.

Pro reproduction banishment conversations are welcome. 26-Feb-2020

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Camp, Drama, Fatigue, Overcooked, Reality, Relationships, Showy, Shrill Act, Travel

Filed under: TV

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17-Mar-2020


Deadcon (2019) Bites

A con for the social sprinters, trifling and influencers. It takes forever to kill one and when they do its not enough. Solid acting keeps you tuned. 11-Mar-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Chemistry, Cold, Fatigue, Good Acting, Horror, Over the Top, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly

Filed under: Movies

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11-Mar-2020


Lion King, The (2019) Arf

Its paced like a cartoon which kills the organic emotional impact because it seems rushed.

The score swelled and stomped on all the sentiments the story was setting. It's hard to feel something when it's already been decided for you.

The baby voices were stronger than their mature counterparts.

The soundtrack sparkled with new modulations.

It's a retread with no originality injected... wrapped in a gorgeous package. 29-Feb-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, By the Numbers, Cold, Comedy, Director's Touch, Drama, Fatigue, Musical, Musical Bombast, Repetitive, Sap, Star Watt

Filed under: Movies

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29-Feb-2020


Recall, The (2017) Bites

Wesley Snipes' character makes no sense and serves little purpose except to initiate coincidental saves. The aliens are underwhelming compared to its rip counterparts. The only injection of interest occurs at end where the film should have started. 22-Feb-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, By the Numbers, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Grating, Horror, Hot Swatch, Preposterous, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Vague

Filed under: Movies

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22-Feb-2020


Horse Girl (2020) Whimper

The title sets it up for failure. Mare straddles insanity via conspiracy theory, almost every character is hypocritical and alienating and the balance of insanity versus sanity is insane. (Hint: the horse wins!) 15-Feb-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Drag, Drama, Funny, Out of Place, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Weird, Wit Crack

Filed under: TV

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15-Feb-2020


Selfie From Hell (2018) Bites

I would have jumped, had reason backed it up. 13-Feb-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, By the Numbers, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Creepy, Drama, Fatigue, Horror, Hot Swatch, Indecipherable, Over the Top, Political, Preposterous, Scare Obvious, Silly, Tedium, Timid

Filed under: Movies

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13-Feb-2020


Godzilla: King Of The Monsters (2019) Whimper

A blanched all-star siphon it's heart but the smoked monsters have art comic book flair. Blur the actors and fine-tune the monsters. 13-Feb-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Bad Acting, By the Numbers, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Fantasy, Fatigue, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Silly, Star Watt, Timid

Filed under: Movies

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13-Feb-2020


Mom and Dad (2018) Whimper

Moms and dads awaken from stress to obliterate what causes them the most burden...kids. The film dares to ponder how society manipulates adults into creating life that overshadows their own but gets cold feet trying to decipher it. Nicolas Cage unleashes grand psycho qualities that the director reins in for fear of buffoonery (?) That's a shame. 08-Feb-2020

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Horror, Indecipherable, Over the Top, Political Satire, Star Watt, Suspense, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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08-Feb-2020


Whirlwind (2007) Whimper

The men are pulled right out of the gay bible and are shot up close to hide background restrictions. The cast was diverse and capable. Friends and lovers are infiltrated and defrocked by a vindictive serial fucker. It should have been fun but the soup was bland. They spent a sizable amount of time talking about big dick and no time exposing it. 04-Feb-2020

Tags: 2000s, By the Numbers, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay, Hot Swatch, Life, Predictable, Sentimental, Tacky, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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04-Feb-2020


Midnight Movie: The Killer Cut (2008) Whimper

In order for a viewer to digest mumbo jumbo we need to be privy to the rules. The film concocts it and we decide if it is within the realm of possibility so we can view the art piece with tolerance. No rules were established and the filmmaker refused to reserve a coherent explanation. It was remastered to look sharper but not sound brighter. 03-Feb-2020

Tags: 2000s, 2020s, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Camp, Corn, Director Slouch, Fatigue, Indecipherable, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Scare Obvious, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Timid, Vague, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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03-Feb-2020


Saturn 5 (1980) Bites

It literally reads, even in space, the Goldigger gets what she wants. The age difference is astronomical which sends charisma out the window. It probably would have played better with a spouse of equal experience. Farrah hadn't received her acting wings yet but she comes to life when she's experiencing pain (screaming, crying and panicking.) The robot is unfinished and ridiculous, the sets are TV comparable and the idea is no longer beneficial. 24-Jan-2020

Tags: 1980s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Preposterous, SciFi, Unenthusiastic, Weird, Writer Humiliation

Filed under: Movies

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24-Jan-2020


Meet Wally Sparks (1997) Whimper

Illogical silliness for a ferocious one liner. The supporting personalities are TV staples flexing their muscles to bozo comedy. Poor things. 19-Jan-2020

Tags: 1990s, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Cold, Comedy, Corn, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preposterous, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Weird, Wit Crack

Filed under: Movies

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19-Jan-2020


Unsettling, The (2019-) WhimperEarly Exit

It does not unsettle because there is no intrigue, sharp scare edits or anything besides Holly Taylor to give a damn about. 13-Jan-2020

Tags: 2010s, By the Numbers, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Predictable, Silly, Tired, Twinkie, Writ Basic

Filed under: TV

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13-Jan-2020




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