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TV Posts Tagged as 'By the Numbers'

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Baby Reindeer (2024) BitesEarly Exit

S1E1. It blew me away like someone rejecting sex, with a wave of their hand. True stories don't have to try so hard. The ingredients were flame broiled and the tiny portions of reality chicken were blended. Ms Gunning enacted the written word but could not inflect a believable, funny or endearing persona. Did Gadd concoct an Amytiville or is he telling it wrong? Either way, the errors were enormous. I understood the first greet and meet because he felt sorry for her. By the second day it would take me five minutes to realize this is no good. I definitely wouldn't comp her another drink that she doesn't drink. (Wrong! Big people always thirsty.) He comped her throughout their relationship. I presume it came out of his till. I'd have as little interaction with her as possible and give her polite social distance. Gadd got everything he deserved for having a life that anyone could steal. He flirted and sexually harassed his tormentor because he thought it was funny and sane. That stuff only works on the internet, not face to face. The makers don't want us to ponder who any of the real people are because they don't exist? Even though some random looked her up in 1995 and obtained her life history? Is he a stalker+? Did he used to be fat? And maybe, that too!? He's suspicious and not funny, at all. 25-Apr-2024

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Cliche, Comedy, Disappointment, Drama, Early Exit, Fatigue, Juvenile, Lifestyle, Maddening, Manipulation, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Showy

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25-Apr-2024


Trust (2024-) Arf

Finale. It was almost cute. 26-Jan-2024
Trusting strangers, we do it everyday. We have to trust someone for aid to move on. There's a brilliant game to be played but the show hasn't figured it out, yet. Boo, for making the hottest beast walk the plank first-time around. Another remains but he's an asshole. Millionaire got shut out of the villa's bubble and trapped in a snow globe for admitting how privileged he is. Poor thing. Unless he's a plant, it's a chilly thing. The girls and boys huddled with their own. The men were obliged to let aggression lead. The women can't do like men. They have to group and wheedle down as they see fit. They have their eye on a fellow contestant whose skillset includes a seduction of the only man worth fucking. It's ghastly. That white boy celebrated someone's heritage by annoying them with it. The old lady is a Platinum Karen. I hope the producers tip them towards their last nerve. 11-Jan-2024

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Camp, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Egotistical, Emasculating, Enthusiastic, Game Show, Gay Swatch, Hilarious, Juvenile, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Revenge, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Trashy, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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26-Jan-2024


Fall Of House Of Usher, The (2023) Arf

I understood the excuses but I didn't get the obscurity. The finale was a realization of how much of a merry-go-round the production put us through. The Final Destination kills should have ascended from that. When you add magic to horror it teeters on fanto realism. It made my head overload...with questions. Where was Lenore when daddy redecorated her mother's room? She asks to see her mom 5 days later? I believe one of the Dupin's got taller? Bless you, Sir Hamill. Once his character clicks we look forward to seeing him again. The mumbo jumbo accommodated what was easiest for the storytellers. The merry go round speeds up, there are few surprises but the cast and dialogue are superb. What fabulous creature is Gugino's character supposed to be? Is Pinhead her boss? I hope it's the girl one. 21-Oct-2023
SE5. There are so many crisp performances to marvel at. The story captivates but the horror aspect diminishes it. Whenever he gets a vision, we realize how the next victim will die. Stretching the story doesn't mean much if it once ended up in the trash because it contained too much information. The flashbacks are served nilly willy. The saboteur has no meaning but I love her. Poe's themes are observed but not acknowledged. When a creator succumbs to the title of the story he is manipulating things to fit not click. 20-Oct-2023
S1E2. Succession musical score adaptation is too blatant and soon to describe rich family hierarchy. The actors play it well but the characters are as interchangeable as their sexual proclivities. The scares are great ideas that are poorly executed. The mother's beginning is a testament of that. It should be scary but it's not, it didn't grip or create empathy. Flanagan name drops everything but the art he's pilfering. The story does not flatter Gugino and her character is beyond mysterious. I heard Hamill do a Joker laugh and I was amused. Flanagan still hasn't figured out how to shoot in the dark. The admirable parts are the ones created by accident. 19-Oct-2023

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Fatigue, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay, Good Dialogue, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Horror, I wish it could look better, Music Rocks, Overcooked, Predictable, Relationships, Revenge, Sex, Star Watt, Suspense, Vague, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ w/Possibilities

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21-Oct-2023


Below Deck: Sailing Yacht (2020-) Woof

Gary spent the night munching on blood and he did not appreciate it. WTF, he might become a bat or something. Serves the old man right. Food for thought: old ladies don't get periods. Colin and Daisy are still pretending. TG Gary is outlandish and goes with the flow. The charter turned the crew gay for money. The cameraman captured two shots of Chase's impressive hard penis squeezing into briefs and someone commented on the captain's green platano. Why was there no shot of Gary waking up with red paint all over his face? 27-Jun-2023
Daisy spars with men before she shags them. It's the only way to dock in her marina. A childhood thing, I presume? Did the surprise couple rub against Gary before the makeout session? Gary is becoming an old man manual. He wants to settle down before his cock dies. Little girls want to fuck. Everything. He wants to sabotage all young things. Not fast enough! Captain doesn't understand how laptops supposedly lay on laps. He laid it between his legs making it appear like a fancy menu at an expensive restaurant. He places it where he can admire it, record it, measure it or expose it. Chase's looniness never ends. He's auditioning for Gilligan's Island or oops.... I don't think he got a total examination. Poor thing. If Alex could talk he'd have a lot to say. The chef disappears into the background to keep her sanity but I always forget her until she talks. Chase jokingly asked a stew to expose how lovely her boobies were. WW3. Crew tongues can be salacious to charter, not each other. We were born to serve, choose and aggregate not mingle. 31-May-2023
Episode before last, the cameras lingered on a boy whose actions seemed questionable after his father's friend's accident. It was a creepy boy's 70s horror movie edit. The stews were impressed by the boy's manner, the camera was not. It surely wasn't inherited from daddy muscle charter. He was labeled a high school asshole as soon as he took his shirt off to expose massle magnificence. He may have been high strung but he did nothing wrong except demand what he paid for. Daisy is tired of slaving for rich people. Captain laid his balls on the table and reiterated that that was her job. Gary must have gotten some questionable treatment in quarantine because he kept competing for baby vagina with his cocky crew. The girl that burned the guest's dress: it was from Walmart. Chase's looney behavior is turning me on. He knows how to have fun by himself. In business, it always boils down to men vs. women, with the women always getting fucked. 19-May-2023
Gary's back. The girls stood in line waiting to make that move that catapulted Gary's fame and kept all the straight men hating. His lateness insinuated to his crew that someone should temporarily take over. Warning. Uptight decker on the loose and TG Gary pisses easy. That dumb hot piece of shit is undermining him. Everyone wants or has licked Daisy's face. I hope it's not because she fucked Gary. Big Jesus probably fucked her and the wet boatman got old and jealous. The captain is easy peasy as usual. I hope the decker bunking with the captain realizes that the captain is not a table. One more time and captain can retaliate. He could sleep on top of him. I could've sworn that Colin swayed his hips like Marilyn and I filed it. The men are pretty and gunning for Gary's attention, the girls are stupefied and frightened that their scary boss is really scary but always hoping that Gary notices them. Gary brought action back. 06-May-2023

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Camp, Drama, Fatigue, NSFW, Overcooked, Reality, Relationships, Showy, Shrill Act, Stupid Funny, Travel, Writer's Peak

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27-Jun-2023


Diplomat, The (2023-) Woof

Kerri Russell rules, the cast is appeasing and her husband is a beautiful daddy-banana distraction. Keri mama wrecks with intelligence, comic skills and a "who gives a fuck attitude." The sense of humor traverses beyond the obvious and bare feelings are portrayed to fulfillment. We were allowed inside the pocket as opposed to watching from a distance. Bless Keri and David Gyasi for creating sparks out of a modern cliche. Whoa, for Gyasi's fabulous sister entertaining the male wife like Scarlett O'hara. He acted like James Bond. Ali Ahn's ulterior motives are aggressive but sweet to her waring partner. Rory Kinnear adds great face, acting chops and the right amount of Tom foolery. The cast is funny and subscribing, the story is sorting and building. I hope the bombing is a surprise. (It was.) 24-Apr-2023

Tags: 2020s, Amiable, By the Numbers, Chemistry, Drama, Political, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful

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24-Apr-2023


Love Trip: Paris (2023-) Whimper

Wherein privileged American ladies travel abroad and are shocked that their toxic love speaks other languages. Mirko's storyline profiled him as a panty shredder. That was such a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles rip. 02-Mar-2023

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Bad Acting, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Comfort Food, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Funny, Gay Swatch, Juvenile, LGBTQ, Lifestyle, Overcooked, Questionable, Relationships, Scary, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny

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02-Mar-2023


Last Of Us, The (2022-) ArfDowngradeWhimperEarly Exit

I can't identify with the fairy tale. 27-Feb-2023
There's an odor of mendacity and I'm not sure where its coming from. A different spice gets added every week to give that child's jokebook a break. They run a bath, the water boils, the barbecue is on and we already know who's going to fry. The spices are becoming experiments in art, a lack of inspiring action and insecurity in storytelling. Ellie is the kind of girl that would spit on deaf boy's food when no one is looking. The character is lacking baby Dakota Fanning genius. Papi Pedro's melody sways us to stay for the main course but the thing they think is gumbo, is not. It's, maybe, a protein shake. 13-Feb-2023
Not saving boys or giving them parts in movies is becoming a Hollywood tradition. A snarky and petulant baby girl is rescued so she can realize her dream of becoming a toxic man. Pascal is the footman on the rescue mission and the only one forcing his acting talent to burst. Anna Torv is saddled with being a man whose deep scars hide a harsher man. It's an eerie Walking Dead iteration that seems to add nothing worth noting. 17-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, By the Numbers, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Early Exit, Horror, Tedium

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27-Feb-2023


Too Hot To Handle (2020-) Bites

Oh fuck. Monumental nudity not allowed. Boo! 18-Dec-2022
S4E3. The hornies are back. The series offered light nudity because they can and should. They served two pretty safe pipe extinguishers, one knockout but no monumentals. We're talking James and male ass here. He's the monumental that hasn't shown. 12-Dec-2022
Yo, call a doctor! The human race is hornier than we thought. It's not just us, its everybody! The children are fucked! 03-Jul-2021
No sex games, stripper parties or porn stars performing anatomy tricks. No Casa De Amor with an hour free of rules to tempt anyone. A lame exercise in controlling the libido does not a better date candidate make and I have no idea what point it's trying to make. (The winner takes home about $12.00 after taxes.) 19-Apr-2020
The norm is hornier than I thought. Love Island Castaways land on Mt. Celibacy and are tortured into going straight. The women are boob jocks and the men prance around blowing bro bubbles. The understanding is that what an independent woman wants, is a servant. It's not daring or tacky, not willing to titillate on a channel that permits it and not willing to locate a winning politic. "Tom Holland future" is an eerie panty shredder, women are still reaching for the biggest/complicated things, unruly racism is itching closer to our faces and Jesus left because he couldn't stand them. 18-Apr-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Egotistical, Fake, Horror, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, No Chemistry, Reality, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Weird

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18-Dec-2022


Andor (2022-) WhimperEarly Exit

Why is Diego Luna the only person in the Star Wars universe with a spanish accent? Where is he from, ToTo Rico? 10-Dec-2022
S1E1. They've contained the preach and amped the celebration of woman as a man. I don't understand how a boy finds hope or gains imagination by watching women fake what daddy used to do. The series looks pristine and familiar but the force is no longer a man's home. 09-Dec-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, By the Numbers, Comic Book, Early Exit, Repetitive, Tired

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10-Dec-2022


Wednesday (2022-) BitesEarly Exit

S1E2. It identifies with the world of art without the soul of the artist. Tim Burton's strongpoints are macabre and whimsy. His art is diffused to welcome misguided talent and a questionable existence. Jenna Ortega had already perturbed me as a porn star, the feelings don't tingle for Wednesday at Hogwarts either. She thinks her character is a surly sour bitch when that is what all teens are. If Wednesday, is indeed, a creepmeister she would be hunting the enemy that tried to kill her, to fuck it, enslave it and torture him forever, not Buffy/Cordelia them to death. It's missing a lack of heart. 28-Nov-2022

Tags: 2020s, Bad Acting, By the Numbers, Disappointment, Early Exit, Manipulation, No Chemistry, Over the Top, Preposterous, Questionable, Silly, Tedium, Weird

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28-Nov-2022


Love, Victor (2020-) Woof

Finale. Giving a gay teen an award for coming out is not bravery, it's sabotage. Gay = pay. Victor should have been acknowledged and supported but never paid. We are gay because of our sexuality, it does't bode well to expect something for it. The show provided a point of view throughout, supplied the screen with cuteness, squishiness and hometown charm. Daddy Salazar obsessed the whole season about his daughter having sex for no sustainable reason. He didn't give two twats about Victor fucking all the boys in town but his daughter was unattainable? He needed to sit both of them down to have a sex talk. If he weren't such a squishy motherfucker I would have erased him. Felix made his Styles prettier. Lake is also part of the squish department. She muses life wittily while squishing. Isabel hit all the right notes. Pilar found her voice. Mason got prettier. Mia is growing. Rahim was hot and bubbly. Hotter when he was pretending to be straight. Nick has hair and abs. Yeah, you gonna fuck him! Benji is that beautifully delicate thing that is unattainable because his mental health breaks. Victor is stud boy in charge. It wraps with a bow that I saved. 19-Jun-2022
Papito got in touch with his inner slut. Thatta boy! 17-Jun-2022
S2E8. Mama wrecked. Humans named Raheim are the #1 cause of gay break-ups in the entire world. Did daddy give daughter a present? I don't remember. Might be why she's a slut. Felix needs to gain some Styles likability, Lake needs to liberate herself from pettiness, daddy needs to fuck a trans, mama needs to fuck a giant and Benji needs a sugar daddy. Mia is the noticeable surprise that can evolve into something. "Shake yourself off before every scene, watch how Kerry does it and you'll do great." 15-Jun-2021
S2E6. Felix' story was heartbreaking. (Nosey white people.) There is nothing more disagreeable than watching a privileged woman bear an interracial child. 13-Jun-2021
Do youngsters really obsess over sex before having it? I guess you do if you don't have any cousins guiding you through puberty. I slept with people before I greeted them so this is cloudy for me. Boys who wait for sex are imperfect. These darling boys look like they can teach sex. Lake is a quirky favorite whose matched with Felix and his sad mentally unstable life. I hope it strikes. Andrew settled into a personality to become a cool friend and woo the delightful Mia. Daddy needs a breakdown. Mama needs to break loose. I did not know that coloring your hair is gay, gay. 13-Jun-2021
S2E3. Snuggle daddy does like Oprah taught him and bought his sons' love with favorite things. 12-Jun-2021
S2E2. I know something Victor doesn't. It doesn't matter if you come out. It's a selfish act that's been ingrained in us like the opposite of conversion therapy. Nobody cares. You tell people you feel safe with and let the strangers guess. A mother's homophobia cannot be fixed. She can tell you she loves you, she can accept you and your husband but in her heart, she will never see it as true. Life is not a fairytale but a burden. We can't force mama into PFLAG "therapy" just because we don't want to hear her opinion. I don't like Victor's swag. The audacity of giving his mother an ultimatum was privileged. There is no believable romantic couple. Mia needs to avenge Victor by stealing his next boyfriend. For gay realism, Victor needs to date 10 boys per season, in between the molestations and rapes. Daddy has such a nice face. 12-Jun-2021
E6-10. Performer TV IQ is high enough to rise above the suds, convey the right emotions, make us addicted and not drown from the weight of the soap. 18-Jun-2020
S1E5. It observes and overprotects its subject. It theorizes that problems only graze and that all people are inherently capable of understanding. Fables only grant the curious teen, added hurt on their venture. I'd rather tell it, solve it and not wait for the miracle to happen. 17-Jun-2020

Tags: 2020s, Amiable, By the Numbers, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Relationships, Sentimental, Star Watt, Sweet, Twinkie, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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19-Jun-2022


Obi-Wan Kenobi (2022-) Bites

S1E4. I bought a box of Depends so I could put up with the rest of the season. 13-Jun-2022
S1E1. The disease that made Hayden Christensen sink Darth Vader may have been borne from Star Wars speak not Hayden Christensen. The acting is horrible. The originals are the only ones that understood that nerdy language. The series recreates a legend whose ending has already been written but doesn't push it any further. To 2022? It's so corny I shit my pants backwards. 02-Jun-2022

Tags: 2020s, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Cliche, Drama, Egotistical, Fantasy, No Chemistry, Over the Top, Overcooked, Sci-Fi, Silly, Timid, Tired, Wit Crack

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13-Jun-2022


Below Deck: Sailing Yacht (2020-) Woof

Daisy exclaimed that the sock in Gary's pants is bullshit. Tiny fucker. Yum.
Captain brought his macaroni dick to guest's table and moved back so the charter could enjoy it. Good man. Gary darling made out with a boy and a girl but neither dared sit on him. Whew! Good to know there's only one rapist on Gary's love boat. 31-May-2022
The charter was a surgically enhanced female empowerment group. The type whose procedures make them look twenty years older because only old ladies need them. Why did it become serious when one charter member big splashed? Were they expecting a big sprinkle? One of the non-second stews left a fat sock in Captain's pant crotch. Did Chef Dos Latinos serve dessert with a little spoon because the Captain was dining with the charter or because he knew I would notice it? The Captain should have shown up for dinner in a jockstrap because all the women could talk about was Gary, Gary, Gary. Captain served the ladies macaroni crotch for breakfast but none of the women looked down. I would have stood on the table. The raped one was deliriously content making out with a non-second steward, giving fuck you stares to the rapist and riling up Ms. Long Ago. A man handles rape a little different. I'm not sure about this but I think a non-second stew stuck a similar sock in Gary's pants. 24-May-2022
Lord Salmon Decker has sexual amnesia. The sex was either very horrible or it felt illegal. Either way, amnesia is the best way out of the situation. Ashley couldn't keep her mouth shut and confessed every detail of the rape on video and audio on a loop. Yo, stop. I'm sure there's help waiting for her when they dock. They're wearing crew whites without any stripes. They will find her. Gary is the hero for fighting rape by not giving it the two cents it doesn't deserve. It's just another lousy fuck. It's not like shee reeped hiz ash to shereddss!!! 17-May-2022
If you unexpectedly slide it into Gary, he'll only notice a change in temperature. Chef Dos Latinos was perplexed by boobs so he made great food. Gary thinks that a male to female deck can do better than a female to female hand. Ashley thinks she should be promoted for raping a man and getting rid of Encanto. 11-May-2022
Gary got raped by a baby stew. The stew was giving the beautiful intoxication a massage when he fell asleep. He rolled over with a hard-on and she sat on it. Rape! Male whores sometimes get their rapes and hook-ups mixed up especially when they can't remember them. Double rape! HE DID NOT CONSENT! HE WAS UNCONSCIOUS! He'll feel the pain once he's 55+ and has a compulsive desire to sue her. Gabriela did everyone a favor by booking her mental illness out of there. I know Chef Dos Latinos was tired of that Encanto bitch. Daisy's woman in charge consists of granting her crew the power to let her fuck with their heads. Is that why Gabby left? Nope, it was Gary's fault. Cuddling with a salmon mermaid that's going to fuck you over is a mental no no. Colin and Gabby watching Gary snog with baby's breath made his ass clench and her mind/vagina explode. Did the captain remove a peanut butter cup from its wrapper and replace it with a dollop of peanut butter? That is so cat. I think I understand captain's giant cracker fetish. He doesn't want to shit the boat when he tilts it. 19-Apr-2022

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Camp, Drama, Fatigue, NSFW, Overcooked, Reality, Relationships, Showy, Shrill Act, Stupid Funny, Travel, Writer's Peak

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31-May-2022


Love Island (2019-) Bites

Gays undercover have no idea how to deal with female toxicity. 06-Aug-2021
Gays undercover are still saving women. Men with sexual dysfunctions agreed to remain in their original coupling. Men think women are stupider than them because they believe everything they say. 30-Jul-2021
S3E9. The men are playing football, faking the women into doing behind the scenes porn in front of the team, their family and friends. Gay boys are undercover to make sure the rejected puppies don't get tackled. It's cheating but the show has an image to uphold. May the best cock, win! 26-Jul-2021

Tags: 2010s, Best In Horror, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Juvenile, Predictable, Reality, Repetitive, Sexist, Static, Tacky, Tedium, Timid, Tired

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13-Apr-2022


Michael Landon: The Father I knew (1999) Arf

They asked a 6'3" player to act like a 5'9" giant dipper. Only women can feel the difference. Boy dreams of his celebrity father becoming a hero at home instead of inserting more strangers into his life. Celebrity boy rebels against father after daddy divorces the family for fresh "baby smell" poultry. The first time I witnessed a race to grandpa's lap crotch was the last time I blinked during any of the games. No offense Little Landon, but if you inherited his crotch, you'll be fine. 27-Feb-2022

Tags: 1990s, Accidental Watch, Bio, By the Numbers, Crapfun, Fun, Funny, Overcooked, Pitchy, Preachy, Relationships, Silly, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Basic

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27-Feb-2022




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