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All Posts Tagged as 'Hot Swatch'

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Below Deck (2013-) Howl

Captain Howdy

The charter was desperate for new art so they invited Deck Precious to play my number one nemesis. Daddy Snap (Lin) knows I'm not passing up a precious moment to see a favorite TV employee submit. Captain Daddy is realizing that Heather Stew may contain toxic ingredients. A gay stew is nothing without a head stew whispering sweet nothings into his ear. The producers asked Deck Robin Hood to get naked one more time and he refused. 24-Jan-2022
The charter was full of love. Rayna's rage on lack of respect was warranted. None of the heads demanded an explanation from Heather Stew. They had a trial without the accused being involved. Rayna stepped up and Stewie stepped down to kiss "new" Barbie stew ass. Deck Robin Hood didn't disappoint. He wore a thong, hoping something hard would latch onto it. Deck Robin has the ass of an 15 hour porpoise. Deck Precious couldn't deal. Not Bridgerton decided he can't stop looking. His ass is so pretty that only a black girl with rage issues can slam it... or Captain Daddy. Deck Robin Hood tried on all types of hoods for me. How did he know? Deck Robin and Stewie got engaged. Captain Daddy promises to eat some ass next week, if all doesn't go well. I hope Deck Robin Hood fucks up. 17-Jan-2022
Eye rolling is what gets black people fired. 11-Jan-2022
Jaws continued onboard to be negated timely food dosages and to receive catty snares from her own charter. Nobody appreciated that she was wired shut to get rid of the ugly fat that turns off prospective husbands. Heather Stew apologized to Rayna Rage for using the n-word that is so popular amongst black people. Rayna accepted the apology only to rage later on. She also pondered why white people stereotyped black people after five rages. Stewie pretended gays aren't devious whores by acting like one. Rayna Rage blew up her love triangle by inviting Stewie to watch her fuck Deck Robin Hood. Deck Robin Hood has an intoxicating fish baby smell. Rayna Rage's pussy beat one tiny white boy dick to the fishbone. The crew left the boat so Captain Daddy could get blown privately. Deck Precious got spooked by a spider, landed on my lap and proved all things are possible. Mooooah! 04-Jan-2022
It was a Jaw Charter. What Reagan did to Nancy to stop her from accidentally sucking spy dick. That's why she was so thin. It was a charter with no sense. Lockjaw was treated like every child with a handicap. Last. Captain Daddy pretended to be mad at Deck Precious when he stood up for his lazy blackx crew. Stew Poppins booked when she realized she was normal. Nobody cares why you have lockjaw (wink, wink, men) we just care to watch you choke. 20-Dec-2021
An incest charter made it onboard. Daughter saw daddy's massive dick and thought that exposing her boobs constantly would up her inheritance. Men of other species do not flirt with blackx females unless they're ready to TNT their hole. She will fuck you up, otherwise. I know this for a fact. Nothing is a joke to Rayna Rage. She hurt uncle Eddie. I'm surprised she made it ashore with the lost footage intact. The only thing that would stop Stewie from meddling in an employee's mental heath business, is a big dick in his mouth. Can somebody please get Chef Loops drunk? I can eat her food at McDonalds. Get loops, bitch! Did Captain Daddy add fruit to his breakfast rocks? 13-Dec-2021
A tit charter was so infectious that it reminded Captain Daddy how much he likes Chef Loops' food. Chemistry. Eddie was so upset by his crew's performance that he beat them with rubber toys. A second blackx has been accused of being slow by a professional. Depressed people shouldn't be allowed to work on sexy boats. Stewie is still trying to stir trouble. Stew Heather doesn't know that no-nonsense tyranny equates employment withdrawal. No bountiful cheeks were served with dinner. Next week, Robin Hood. Please. 07-Dec-2021
Richie Rich threw it in every poor boy's face that money rocks. The succubus complained that Captain Daddy and her husband paid more attention to their lobsters than her. Deck Not Bridgerton is so deprived of love that he confused depressive stew whines as romantic. Stewie wasted his time obsessing over and judging the depressive one. The deck crew kept depositing plastic into the water. Heather Stew ran out of tongs. Celebrating the 80's is a way of reminding old people they sucked. Deck Robin Hood proved his masculinity by flirting with unavailable females, getting naked, tonguing Stewie and making Eddie sexually frustrated. Soft little pillows waiting for comfort. Eddie was saved from switching teams when his hair caught on fire. Sigh. Does this mean his children will be bald? Rayna Rage delighted at seeing soft little pillows prove himself a drunken sexual liar. Bitch recorded it. 30-Nov-2021
Stewie became the poster boy for gay marriage by declaring that all children are gross. Someone needs to assure Eddie that some gay fucks are like vaccines. Bridgerton not. We bow to Rayna of controlled rage. All the pretty birds flocked to deck Robin Hood. One of Richie Rich's succubus "fake followed" Captain Daddy to his quarters. She came with dinner. Fucking slit. 23-Nov-2021
S9E4. A pig charter were doing a bang-up job humiliating themselves with liquor and inconsequential shit until Captain Daddy told them to cut it out. They needed parental discipline. Go figure. Rayna made out with Deck Robin Hood. Deck Robin got promoted. Rayna did not like it when he insinuated she shut her mouth and do better work. It made Rayna Rage hop out of the closet. Stewie must have smelt available dick onboard because he stepped up. Rayna made out with Stewie and Robin to prove a future point. "He's gay. I knew it!" 19-Nov-2021
S9E1. The crew does everything to fuck up a charter of black female Republicans. Captain Howdy fills in for Captain Daddy. Chef Loops is still serving nonsense along with great food. Second Stew Stewie sucked at his job and accused the Republicans of threatening him with violence. The boys invented a "Hoe" song to honor Lady Deck. Heather Stew "cunt be bothered" serving the rich's every whim. Deck Bridgerton needs to keep quiet and take his shirt off. Rayna needs to do the dishes and not complain. Eddie squishes mightiest when he's pining for daddy. 17-Nov-2021

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Real, Silly, Sweet, Tacky, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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24-Jan-2022


Eternals (2021) Arf

Zhao contributes "beauty of art" and serenity to the MCU. The actors are sound comic book cutouts defying gravity with little purpose. A Galactus of significance would have created the conflict that Gods favor and audiences delight in. There was a sameness to the threat, a sadness to the truth and no color for the future. 13-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Cold, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Fantasy, Gay Swatch, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Pretty, Sentimental, Star Watt, Timid, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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13-Jan-2022


Red Notice (2021) Woof

Red Notice fulfills "land of magic" type escapism. The writers created an intriguing caper and an enigmatic cast to play act it. Gal Gadot can act. Well. Daddy King Rock delighted in being the brunt of a joke, constantly, in fabulous fashion. Dickwad Reynolds steals it by being a cantankerous benevolent criminal who is also Deadpool. The director took advantage of its DCU historical significance and developed some solid characters. Heart tug. 11-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Adorable, Camp, Chemistry, Coincidence Laden, Comedy, Crapfun, Crime Drama, Cute, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Fresh, Fun, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Revenge, Sentimental, Silly, Star Watt, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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11-Jan-2022


Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021) Arf

Venom is nothing without that spider boy splitting his ass in half. How fortunate that Tom Hardy has a dick-breaking ass. Venom's and Tom's duality don't combine. There are attempts to bring them together but talking to green screens is all it is. I imagined a wraparound as opposed to a pop out. I was aghast at how youthful and beautiful Mira Sorvino looked then realized with humiliation that it was Michelle Williams. Michelle got rid of the haughty accents, loosens up and shakes her sourpuss. Reid Scott was a supportive adorable dunce. I thought Stephen Graham was a Walhlberg doing a bad imitation of a better Wahlberg. Woody Harrelson was channeling an old white woman from the 1950's out on her last stroll. Go nuts, daddy! The film has no purpose except to destroy and sell but it has stupid entertainment value. I liked Asian Venom, they gave us a hint at Lady Venom and didn't dare realize a Drag Queen Venom. Why not? 07-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Camp, Comic Book, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Experiment, Director Movement, Enthusiastic, Fun, Funny, Hot Swatch, Mad, Magnetism, Preposterous, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Trashy, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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07-Jan-2022


Passing (2021) Arf

Disturbing friend passing as white revives a childhood friendship with a black woman who lives like a white person. It is filmed in black and white so we don't notice how silly it would have appeared in color with lots of white powder on pale brown faces. In this case, the story needs to be brighter than grey. Why is Clare invading a stranger's home? People don't do that unless they're desperate. She was just bored. She stole attention from the children and her friends. She fucked her husband and talked shit about her behind her back. Nothing was executed. Everything was a hint. The stalker is married to a most ignorant white man. She's getting darker because she's tanning more. Hahaha. How did she handle pubic hairs? Unless bikini waxes were all the rage, women kept it bushed in the 20's. The white stupid husband didn't get to tell his story. Thompson and Negga gave it what it required but the director did not excite us with a Bette Davis and Joan Crawford type showdown. I wanted Thompson to rage at Negga for interrupting her housewife bliss. I wanted Negga to explain herself whilst she tore her hair out. What a waste! 05-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Cold, Director Experiment, Drama, Elegance, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Relationships, Sentimental, Slow, Star Watt, Timid, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful

Filed under: Movies

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05-Jan-2022


MMA fighter turned to gay sex work to help fund training 

 

Horie was led to believe it would be easy money, but said: “I was deceived in various ways.” However, “I didn’t have the money and I really wanted to do martial arts on my own.”

He says he earned 20,000 yen (approx. $175) in less than an hour, which is more than he would earn from two days of work.

MMA fighter turned to gay sex

‘Squatter’ turns $7M NYC townhouse into brothel

Tags: $, Choices, Gay, Hot Swatch, NSFW, Sex, Sex Worker, Sports, Training, Youth

Filed under: Gay+

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01-Jan-2022


Twentysomethings: Austin (2021-) Arf

Natalie's boytoy grabbed and ghosted. I knew he was an asshole when she asked him for a selfie and he gave her side face so no one could recognize him. He disrespected her when he arrived late to the party, fast grabbed, slept and ran. She wondered why she got ghosted. Dearest, he ghosted you because you couldn't wait. She has to stay in Austin because when her papi watches her boning footage he's going to explode. Kamari slapped Raquel's ass so hard that she opened her doors for him. Doorman! 29-Dec-2021
S1E8. Natalie blamed Abbey for stealing the man she was "interested" in. The golden surfer was going to pick Abbey or Oscar (the "make believe" boyfriend of Keano.) A person cannot make themselves anyone's first choice if the pecker isn't even pointing at them. Oscar wanted some camera time and to see if any of the cis men would get it on with him. He got a free COVID test. Abbey is a destructive beauty whose ice caps are melting at an exponential rate. I miss the pretty boy. He was endearingly sad. 28-Dec-2021
S1E7. Pretty super jock gave up on his roommates because they couldn't ease his sexual discomfort. Isha realized that the path to success has to include an American pendejo willing to part with his money. Austin may be open to sexuality but not to other cultures. Kamari came to fuck anything and everything. Raquel is a "doorman" and a lousy friend. Abbey needs medicine. Keano needs a million dollars to survive gay world. 28-Dec-2021
S1E4. Something to watch when your brain cells need a rest. The younglings appear to have strong familial support but have minimal life skills. It's a house full of Red Riding Hoods. No wolves, grandmas or conflict. 25-Dec-2021

Tags: 2020s, Amiable, Dating, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Reality, Relationships, Words Spoke

Filed under: TV

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29-Dec-2021


Witcher, The (2019-) Woof

Daddy dropped the hush a notch and it was sexy. A daddypalooza overwrote the overwrought female wokeness. The RPG "come to life" was fun. The mythology became a scientific equation instead of a scientific marvel. Can we find another solution to good girl being possessed by evil besides giving her a conscious? Bummer. Istredd. Boom! Dijkstra. Yes! Joey Batey. Lick, yeah! Neneke. Your highness. Daddy Supe speaks for itself. The females need more realism and the mythology needs better surprises. 27-Dec-2021
Daddy is something else but it was the ladies that kept me glued. 18-Jan-2020
Of course, I'm disquieted by the froggish whisper of the Witcher but he delivers comitted action moves and steady alpha charisma. Interspersed characterization maintains the show's freshness. (Is it part of its mythology that all pretty twinks get killed?) 15-Jan-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Action, Brutal, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Fantasy, Fun Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, Magnetism, Squish Alert, Star Power, Star Watt, Suspense, Tedium, Timid, Wit Snit, Writ Tight

Filed under: TV

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27-Dec-2021


Hondo (1953) Howl

A wife/mother abandoned by hubby on Apache terrain staves off conflict when an Indian head takes a liking to her son. Apaches don't cry and revere baby boys as gifts. An ultimatum is issued. She must decide on an Indian for a husband or the Apaches will kidnap and raise her son. She keeps hoping her husband returns but the Apaches think he's dead. In struts John Wayne as a half Apache gunslinger that causes as much ruckus as he does saving. The best westerns contain wide landscapes, big hearts and simple writing. Society (Apaches) has the right to teach a boy to become a man for the benefit of his survival. Wayne is classic and Geraldine has the audacity to stand up for her son and protect their homestead. The kid is precious.

(If you want to be an asshole, you can count how many times the make-up runs off Apache legs or you can just enjoy a great story.) 26-Dec-2021

Tags: 1950s, Action, Action Fun, Chemistry, Cultural, Director's Touch, Drama, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Inspired, Music Swings, Relationships, Revenge, Romance, Sentimental, Suspense, Sweet, Tough, Twisty, Western, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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26-Dec-2021


Succession (2018-) HowlUpgrade

S3. Daddy Prince of Darkness battles it out with Daddy Succession Supreme. Every "fuck" made me hard, every "you" made me cum. Daddies were exploding beautifully. Women can sew their own armor. Shiv is beloved, mother is a cunt, Geri is the family dog, Roman is a mutt, Tom is bewildering, Willa keeps up, Connor won't give up, Greg is a kitten and Mencken is A game. The fight would add up to very little if the top masters didn't emote so precisely. Daddy Succession bleeds every decision to keep his dynasty and children afloat. All he wants is respect. Daddy Prince is impatient about the future. He wants to be woke, now, when it matters. Daddy S knows better. Daddy P always gets what he wants because Daddy S spoiled him. There is a study of art that defines Daddy P because of his intensity but when he calms and speaks his pathetic truth, we want to fuck him again. Yes, his pathetic is even hotter than his cockiness. It's called parenting. The writers convey our thoughts, instead of our speak because, in reality, we can't do so. But we would like to. We are not animals in cages. You cage the word and the animal comes out. Let it speak. The show spoke, delivered whoppers, kept to its guns and secured a successful season. 20-Dec-2021
Daddy suffering (Ken) hijacked it with an hilarious rap and alpha domination. I like to hear Shiv, I like to say Shiv, I love to watch Shiv. Holly Hunter (Rhea) is the clamped whisperer. When she nips it she doesn't let go. Tom shreds himself to death attempting to bare the soul of a character that rarely sees it. Culkin plays his character like he has no dick. Funny. Nobody messes with daddy. Writers that want to keep their jobs and a production that keeps on pushing it. It consummates on a boat big enough to fit two Below Decks in it. It was all about respect. 08-Aug-2020
The best corporate fuckers on TV. 06-Aug-2020
A malted shake with only whipped cream. That's a lot of protein. 24-Jul-2020
S1E3 found daughters giving handjobs, alphas verifying status on staircases and daddies snapping their tongues. I am no longer floating, my feet are firmly planted. 18-Oct-2019
Exposing how the family dynamic exploit each other for success. The sticks have returned:

Brian Cox - daddy doesn't need a stick

Nicholas Braun (Greg) - he'll carry anyone's stick

Alan Ruck (Connor Roy) - he licks them

Kieran Culkin (Roman Roy) - he shoves them up his nose

J Smith-Cameron - she's not carrying anyone's stick

Jeremy Strong (Kendall Roy) - alpha in the making swings his own. 18-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Director's Slice, Drama, Elegance, From Another Planet, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Rocks, Political, Psychological, Relationships, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough, Writer's Peak

Filed under: TV

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20-Dec-2021


Love Never Lies (2021-) Woof

S1E7. Tall pretty stick accused the game of being rigged when the technology caught him lying. Hostess Divine pulled out a bullwhip and turned his stallion cock into a puppy's. You don't fuck with mama or Netflix shows. You cheating asshole. Most everyone pretended it was a vacation where lying and misconduct gets forgotten. Love exists because we need it to, not because it is. 14-Dec-2021
S1E6. Unmasking love is seeing a most ugly bitch. 13-Dec-2021
S1E2. These fuckers are serious. They bank money when they tell the truth. Amounts are deducted for lies. The game has separated the partners into two groups. Villa Panic Attack gets to watch their mates finagle temptation in Whore Villa. To keep the alone group in a state of anxiety our divine hostess shows them a video of their partner intermingling with exes, stalkers and professionals. After gaining their interest she seduces them into watching a prime video that contains the nasty stuff. But, it will cost them. The gays are sad. The heeled one is living a fantasy with a man who doesn't care. His partner tried itemizing the men he sexually stalked online but he couldn't count that high. He was giddy from the twink they hired to give him hope. The alone partner gets to watch the videos with their housemates. Reactions are perceptive. They call out the bullshit, cry over confessions, make cute funny, rally around the broken hearted and rage at the whores. 03-Dec-2021
S1E1. Lying whores compete to tell the truth, stop fucking and prove to their partners they are worthy. Mental breakdowns in paradise. A tall pretty stick gave his partner a panic attack by lying three times after one question, the gays always lie when confronted with the truth, a boyfriend fessed to not getting aroused by his girlfriend's paraglider fashion and the hostess is creepily divine. I'm in. 02-Dec-2021

Tags: Daddy Squish, Foreign, Fun, Funny, Game Show, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Relationships, Sex, Wit Crack, Words Spoke, Writ Funny

Filed under: TV

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14-Dec-2021


Will & Grace (1998-2006) Full Moon

S1E3. The gay bestie is the only man that gets pretend husband right. Jack was the clown stereotype that exploded. Karen hadn't evolve but she was super bitchy. Grace and Will's beautiful relationship ends when the other sucks the other's partner off on a whim, just like in real life. 10-Dec-2021

Tags: 1990s, 2000s, Amiable, Art, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Comfort Food, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay, Great Acting, Hot Swatch, Magic, Magnetism, Sentimental, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: TV

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10-Dec-2021


Coming Out Colton (2021-) WhimperUpgradeArf

The doc is about a lost boy who discovered his sexuality and needs to establish his purpose. His rock of friends are keeping him planted in religion and suburban magic. The gays just want to have sex. All the time. Every fucking minute of their lives. Colton is an alpha looking for daddy hugs. Daddies like babies. The classic gays add to the confusion. No one tells this young man the truth. Successful relationships don't occur that often, the more you fuck the better you are until that's all you have to offer and we will continue to have uncomfortable conversations about our love for dick, forever. Colton's attention span is limited. He appears as if the person recounting their history is speaking a different language and maybe they are. He doesn't fit anywhere and that's ok. Gus Kenworthy could not contain himself and flirted with Colton's hot dad. That was a real gay moment. 09-Dec-2021
Boy, does he ever. Colton blames the lack of good character on being a bottled gay. The series portrays coming out as a self-involved beauty pageant. I told my mother and she told the rest. Done. That's how latinos do it. I also told her over the phone so she wouldn't hit me. The family is cold. Relationships are strained. He has support because they need to continue riding the success wave in order to survive. Coming out is not the real story. Staying "in" is. 03-Dec-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Drama, Fatigue, Gay, Hot Swatch, Out of Place, Political, Reality, Relationships, Tacky, Weird, Writ Basic

Filed under: TV

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09-Dec-2021


Gentefied (2020-) HowlDowngrade

It got silly this season. Thanksgiving was a standout. It stopped preaching to deliver the passion of family celebration. It's about good food and the asshole who keeps bringing up the past. Daddy roared mightily. Cousin chef has great nips. His girlfriend has a full vocabulary. The lesbians are scattered. The characters are blanching because the spices are fucked up. It seems disrespectful to fight over a policy that has been acknowledged by all parties. 05-Dec-2021
Celebrating the heritage that creates a Mexican that all else take for granted. Choices are different for families that break their bones for the sustainability of another race. The fear arises when in order to subsist, the heritage dissipates... like plastic.. because its environmentally abusive in the land of the free. They're obnoxious, loud, tacky, sweet, lovable, squishy, touching, funny and bright. Gracias. 04-Mar-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Adorable, Chemistry, Comedy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Lesbian, Music Rocks, Nostalgic, Political, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Tacky, Tough, Unity, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writ Tough

Filed under: TV

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05-Dec-2021


Lost In Space (2018-) Woof

S3. All grown up and still dazzling us. 03-Dec-2021
Season 2 served so much syrup it almost drowned the pancakes. The Robinsons' catastrophe meter wriggled so much I wondered why they're not in pieces. Am I supposed to notice that the robot has a big ass? The action rumbles, throttles and shakes you down. Big-screen treatment for a TV mindset. Dr. Smith is a hoot bitchier, the actors are scratching their posts and I'm still in. 05-Jan-2020
Even though the orangutan inspired robot invalidates its predecessor the show succeeded in modern interpretation. There's papi squish, mama force, baby hutzpah and multicultural opportunity. Constructive sci-fi action and Parker Posey's iteration of Dr. Smith as the ultimate lying bitch are its standouts. 29-Jun-2018

Tags: 2010s, Action, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Director's Touch, Drama, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, Mystery, Over the Top, Relationships, Repetitive, Sci-Fi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Twinkie, Unity, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Tight

Filed under: TV

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03-Dec-2021




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