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All Posts Tagged as 'Hot Swatch'

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Love, Victor (2020-) Arf

S2E6. Felix' story was heartbreaking. (Nosey white people.) There is nothing more disagreeable than watching a privileged woman bear an interracial child. 13-Jun-2021
Do youngsters really obsess over sex before having it? I guess you do if you don't have any cousins guiding you through puberty. I slept with people before I met them so this is cloudy for me. Boys who wait for sex are imperfect. These darling boys look like they can teach sex. Lake is a quirky favorite whose matched with Felix and his sad mentally unstable life. I hope it strikes. Andrew settled into a personality to become a cool friend and woo the delightful Mia. Daddy needs a breakdown. Mama needs to break loose. I did not know that coloring your hair is gay, gay. 13-Jun-2021
S2E3. Snuggle daddy does like Oprah taught him and bought his sons' love with favorite things. 12-Jun-2021
S2E2. I know something Victor doesn't. It doesn't matter if you come out. It's a selfish act that's been ingrained in us like the opposite of conversion therapy. Nobody cares. You tell people you feel safe with and let the strangers guess. A mother's homophobia cannot be fixed. She can tell you she loves you, she can accept you and your husband but in her heart, she will never see it as true. Life is not a fairytale but a burden. We can't force mama into PFLAG "therapy" just because we don't want to hear her opinion. I don't like Victor's swag. The audacity of giving his mother an ultimatum was privileged. There is no believable romantic couple. Mia needs to avenge Victor by stealing his next boyfriend. For gay realism, Victor needs to date 10 boys per season, in between the molestations and rapes. Daddy has such a nice face. 12-Jun-2021
E6-10. Performer TV IQ is high enough to rise above the suds, convey the right emotions, make us addicted and not drown from the weight of the soap. 18-Jun-2020
S1E5. It observes and overprotects its subject. It theorizes that problems only graze and that all people are inherently capable of understanding. Fables only grant the curious teen, added hurt on their venture. I'd rather tell it, solve it and not wait for the miracle to happen. 17-Jun-2020

Tags: 2020s, Amiable, By the Numbers, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Drama, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Manipulation, Political, Predictable, Relationships, Star Watt, Sweet, Timid, Twinkie, Wit Snit, Writ For Short Attn Spans

Filed under: TV

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13-Jun-2021


Careless Years, The (1957) Whimper

What are the lengths an untouched teen queen and a rebel rouser go to have sex without guilt? Get married? The parents are as excited of their proposal as invited homophobic family members are to go to a gay wedding. The movie/man obsesses whether they should have sex anyway since they're going to be together forever. The angst of a girl clinging to a specialty that means nothing to the man she's giving it to, is ridiculous. Just have it, already! Sex is just another addiction in life, like pooping. It was interesting to watch a baby Dean Stockwell preen like James Dean and Barbara Billingsley do the mama thing she does so well but the movie is about nothing. 13-Jun-2021

Tags: 1950s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Director's Touch, Drama, Hot Swatch, Preposterous, Relationships, Silly, Subtle, Timid, Twinkie, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

Filed under: Movies

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13-Jun-2021


Special (2019-) WoofEarly Exit

S2E2. Dude killed it by going woke. Just be yourself. 12-Jun-2021
Intelligently pondered and naturally funny. It would rather genuinely portray its aspects than coddle them. A mother to praise, a friend to boast and a sex life to dissect. Ryan O'Connell is less special and more like us. I hope he takes that as a compliment. 20-Apr-2019

Tags: 2010s, Adorable, Comedy, Director's Slice, Drama, Early Exit, Funny, Gay, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Sentimental, Sexy, Special, Star Watt, Sweet, Wit Snit, Writ Tight, Writ Tough

Filed under: TV

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12-Jun-2021


Ten Little Indians (1965) Arf

10 influencers are united in a snow piled chateau. The invite comes from a madman that wants to cancel them. The mystery's psychological reasoning is based on a demented individual's power grab to replace God and punish the unrighteous. But, they're so pretty and knowledgeable. Fabian smears his loveliness on the lens but is too uptight to relax and be cool. Daliah Lavi's exaggerated mane turned her into a cold stereotypical Hollywood starlet. Hugh O'Brian looked even better with his shirt off. Marianne Hoppe seemed hopped on something as the scared German maid. Was she supposed to be ridiculous? Gay old codgers know everything. It's a cheap attempt to intrigue us with outdated characters from a board game. 10-Jun-2021

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Action, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Relationships, Scare Obvious, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stink Wigs, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Tacky, Timid, Trashy, Wit Crack, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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10-Jun-2021


Superman & Lois (2021-) Woof

Lois sees a psychiatrist because she's allergic to meats, poultry, milk, eggs and bacon and she lives on a farm. The writers attempt to grab hearts with a refried miscarriage, making women swoon and men puke. Men don't cry over unfinished "things" or allow themselves to be defined by it for years. Puny woman. That's a dog's omelette. Fake Lex Luthor was a bust. How about a Martian Manhunter? Baby Supe is a ready-made Damien for "Omen: Oblivion." Prettier brother deserves better storylines before his hair falls out. If Superman is taller than everyone why does he only seem it in certain shots? Sometimes he teeters on his heels. 07-Jun-2021
My favorite part of the season is daddy breathing on son. 26-May-2021
I dipped in the CW DC waters before and I almost drowned. A loyalty to Superman waved me back. Tyler Hoechlin embodies the dutiful and conflicted alien come to earth to save the loathsome humans from themselves and to birth one or two with a lousy reporter. At least they're boys. Yay! Young boys get a storyline and maybe super powers! Awesome. We are not being ignored. I want to see all the deviant things we can come up with. Super orgasms would be a hilarious start. The sap is extra cum messing up our hair and it has the vibrations of a pusher but I liked the action and was happily surprised. I always wanted to see that. Superman is as boring as the person who recreates him. 25-Feb-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Amiable, Chemistry, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Elegance, Fantasy, Fun, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Nostalgic, Relationships, Sci-Fi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Sweet, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: TV

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07-Jun-2021


A Perfect Murder (1998) Woof

A perfect cast to incorporate it. Viggo Moretensen of perfect hunkdom and cracked beauty played the lover. He seduced and slithered the pants off of Michael Douglas, Gwyneth Paltrow and the audience. I loved it when Michael pulled Viggo's hair. SAF. Someone is having an affair, someone is being betrayed and someone has to die. Lady Goop has fairy essence conjuring ways for us to be comfortable in her diabolical surroundings. Dude, she spoke two languages without an accent and ate pot roast. WTF. She's an alien. Yeah, I'm onboard. Daddy Douglas has gone to battle with a woman before. I presume he's won some. He relished it. It's fun, elegant crime trash done to aplomb and it beats wasting $30.00 on people uglier than me. 02-Jun-2021

Tags: 1990s, Camp, Chemistry, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Elegance, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Relationships, Suspense, Thriller, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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02-Jun-2021


Petulia (1968)  Howl

 
It was on my list for a lifetime but I never got to it. Daddy Doctor Rio is separated from his wife and kids because he doesn't want to die a passionless fuck. A fragile beauty with manic episodes invades his life and his choices. She is victimized by her husband, Richard Chamberlain, who was annoyingly pretty and agonizingly gay. Julie Christie was that thing you only find once. Her beauty was her art. George C. Scott roared obsession and determination. Shirley Knight whipped her hair back and forth and got slammed with cookies that she baked for George C. Scott by George C. Scott. The music pushes it, the elegance enchants it and the crew elaborates on it. 02-Jun-2021

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Elegance, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Relationships, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Touching, Tough, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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02-Jun-2021


Married At First Sight Australia (2015-)  Woof

Season 6 was withheld from us because we are not mature enough to handle emotional failure. Hades and his coven interpret every relationship based on a fairytale and are genuinely horrified when reality proves it untrue. Hades unleashes romper terminators to seduce Ares and Hercules to ignite the audience and insult the wives. I could taste the master's lava. I threw up but didn't explode. 01-Oct-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Overcooked, Psychological, Reality, Romance, Scary, Star Watt, Sweet, Wig Crack, Words Spoke, Writ For Short Attn Spans

Filed under: TV

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27-May-2021


Married At First Sight (2014-) Howl

Reunion 2. Haley & Jacob. Captain Rio was de feathered because Shrek dragons are heralded as heroes and roosters are unforgivable if they can't bring their chicks to climax. Daddy needs to go oink. We love the 80s and sitting on floppy dicks. Brown Robin. Dude, are you flirting with me? (see pic above.) I accept. Erik. Daddy was punished for being fatherly towards his daughter and not accepting that a girl her age needs to socialize with other boys. Wink, wink. Shlumber Party! The experts. Why didn't the ladies sit together? Woke hug moments missed. Wow. Dr. Pepper looked at Dr. Viv without contempt. Chris became a legal dispute. "We didn't know he was a schmuck. We got fooled just like everybody else. What are we experts? Good God." The children closed the show with a request to the viewers to treat them like the semi-gods they came on TV to be not like celebrities from Hollywood. Play-acting is real.

(Next season: cats! Dr Viv and hats! I'm on it.) 26-May-2021
Virginia & Erik. The big bad wolf, little red riding hood and grandma guts joined the reunion. Daddy was very proud of his little girl gushing googles and acting all Romper Room. If Virginia were a drunk she would remember something offputting about her buddies instead she feels closer to them after their slumber parties. Good cheap wine. Feminism cancelled "whoredom the thought" but not the feeling. Sorry, can't teach her anything. Pajama party on! Is that red cup mine? (I see drunk vaginal exams in her future.) Clara & Ryan. Ryan is still a "pussy" virgin. He'd rather marry her again than fuck her. Poor Starfire. Briana & Vincent. They were cute. Vincent got me when he laughed at the horse clip thinking about what I said. Looks like a pork roast is in daddy's future. The boss is gone. Chris & Paige. Everybody hates Chris and the show will do what's legally possible to humiliate him. 19-May-2021
Some contestants remained homeless. Dr. Pep stared at Dr. Viv with the same dread as a cat. There is no cure for bossy. 13-May-2021
Contract negotiations are up and the married strangers have to decide if the extra money is worth faking it for another year. Brown Robin & Hillbilly Starfire. I have no idea what he's saying and somebody needs to check her pilot light. Briana & Vincent. I knew he hated her. He wants a wife that will keep him company, light his stove and cook some delicious pork, not a congressional candidate. Why did she make him apologize for having a sexual preference but she couldn't return the courtesy for being bossy? Bossy is not attractive or empowering. They cancel people for that. See Leah Michelle. If he needs to change, she needs to change or some pork bitch is gonna steal him. Oops. He had his vengeance. He fucked up her hair! Haley & Jacob. The production offered her a lot of money and she is homeless. The dinner found them wanting to smirk, giggle and compare how much each received in contract negotiations. They couldn't even fake it. Virginia & Erik. The individuals were asked scripted questions by their very stiff friends except for Erik's daughter. Her sleepover pal (wink, wink) cowboy'd up, gave her a nod and asked "how much we gettin'?" Father is bossy too but children need enforcement so they don't grow up bossy. 29-Apr-2021
Virginia & Erik. Daddy was astounded that his cheating wife doesn't like surprises. The cats. Dude, speak to Doctor Viviana. She knows how to secretly get rid of cats. Briana & Vincent. Squish squirmed when his wife admitted to thieving. Did he marry a thug? The horse. Latin men think that if they fall off a horse, the horse will try to fuck them. Haley & Jacob. Haley didn't care that she and her partner knew all the game answers about each other, she was still punishing him for being a bad fuck. When daddy Rio drank from the trophy cup I wanted to bear Haley's burden. Oy. Brown Robin and Hillbilly Starfire made it to the retreat. The secret to a rotund butt is to eat lots of chips with dip and never stick your dick in a vagina. 15-Apr-2021

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Chemistry, Comedy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Reality, Relationships, Scary, Shrill Act, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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26-May-2021


Saturday Night Live (2021) Woof

The season was a grab bag. Instances are not as easily remembered as moments. The Season finale was a cumulative effort of insanely funny moments. Weekend Update stands atop the heap for generating the most laughs. Everyone had a turn to belt one out and they scored. A complete audience energized the atmosphere. The skits were sharp, edgy and cruel. For one night they were allowed to be themselves and make fun of us. Yes, we need fixing. SNL allows us to laugh at life's most angriest parts on Saturday so we can face them on Monday morning. 24-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Enthusiastic, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Musical, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: TV

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24-May-2021


Cold Creek Manor (2003) Arf

City whites decide to move out of the city after their son's expensive shoes get scratched in the city. They are afforded an estate at a very low price that belonged to an ex prison crusader on a warpath with whomever moves in. Sharon Stone is onboard to bore us doing motherly stuff as an affordable VP. Daddy Quaid's anger doesn't generate enough sparks to make us care. Christopher Plummer was unrecognizable. Juliette Lewis made it ashore to tingle the plot and remind us Cape Fear did it better. Stephen Dorff was delicious smack as a bad boy affected by parental sexual freedom that you will eventually spit out and nothing more. Teen Kristen Stewart was at her best, hanging loose, upfront and appearing to hate only half the planet. The ending is as cruel as the wait. 16-May-2021

Tags: 2000s, Accidental Watch, Bad Chemistry, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Silly, Star Watt, Suspense, Thriller, Timid, Vague, Weird, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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16-May-2021


Jupiter's Legacy (2021) WoofDowngradeArf

SE5. I'm not done yet. They talk a lot. I wander then I rewind to listen that they are griping about the same depressing shit as last episode. Did Hollywood run out of realistic looking hair or are lousy wiggers not fireable? "Give Daddy the homeless wig." Daddy's hair drips and droops and looks exactly like that. The cast is jelling but the story needs some mushrooms. 14-May-2021
A great pastiche of superhero adventures and the miserable lives it processes. It's familiar, obliterating and fun. 09-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Amiable, Camp, Chemistry, Comic Book, Corn, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, Relationships, Repetitive, Star Power, Star Watt, Twinkie, Wig Crack, Words Spoke

Filed under: TV

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14-May-2021


Housemaid, The (2010) Woof

Shuttered young woman accepts a job caring for a very well established family. Wife is made of plastic things and pregnant with twins. She believes her silent brute won't cheat on her because she's the perfect wife having miracle twins. "A man does not cheat on perfection." That is her motto and her curse. The eldest child is a delightful package. She is brave to say what's on her mind and sorry if it offends. A matriarch of servitude is the expert of the house, teaching the young woman how back breaking and useless it is making rich people happy. She is Mrs. Danvers, respectfully. Plotting, conniving, avenging, infiltrating and non-stop hurting to become like part of the family. Daddy is a self-absorbed god. Maid is a sexual magnet. An imperfect powerless naif to be completely his. The mother of the house is an awesome witch ready to set fire to anything that brings shame to their name. The scandal turns ingratiating maid into a hostile. The women cancel her for breaching family code... " you don't steal sperm from family gods that you are serving without asking the women first. Revenge is awesome. 10-May-2021

Tags: 2010s, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Elegance, Foreign, Funny, Sort of, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Relationships, Revenge, Romance, Scary, Sexy, Star Watt, Subtle, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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10-May-2021


Outside - Tender 

Tonight, Its You

Tags: Drugs, Gay, Hot Swatch, LGBTQ, Mystery, Nudity, Psychological, Reinterpreted, Relationships, Respect, Re-tooled, Sexually Suggestive, Tribute, Video Gay Swatch

Filed under: Music

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08-May-2021


Once Upon A Mattress (2005) Woof

Incestuous queen bequeaths that all her son's prospects be put to an impossible test if they want to marry him. No one in the kingdom is allowed to marry unless he does. Princess Tracey Ullman is onboard to annoy the crap out of Queen Carol Burnett and to outmatch her. Ms. Burnett is a cinch as a dastardly queen prone to fantastic outfits and high performance energy. Ms. Ullman has a lot of everything. Zoey Deschanel was a fitting bubble princess that plotted to make sure the new princess passed the test so she can get married to Mr. Schue. A baby Matthew Morrison plays the delicious asshole prince, except cuter. He is tasked with making everything happen. Carol gets her moment as does Tracey and others but the score sucked. It was gibberish. The performers never stopped, though. Effort and memories resound. 07-May-2021

Tags: 2000s, Accidental Watch, Adorable, Amiable, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Director's Touch, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Looking Art, Hot Swatch, Musical, Sentimental, Star Power, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: TV

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07-May-2021




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