TV Posts Tagged as 'Hot Swatch'
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Married At First Sight Australia (2015-)
If I weren't still hungry from dinner, I would have puked my brains out. For some reason we need to digest the current season like an antacid. The best liars snatch it, the most compulsive insults it, the most demure destroys it and anyone with a useless dick gets slaughtered. That's all I could devise through the loud Disney orchestra. 18-Sep-2020
Auditions were revealed. Michael has "a type" he likes to torture. Lucky for brunettes (except Hayley) and diversity. Rainbow Connection (Drew) doesn't want to unite with material affection (KC.) Drusilla is less gruesome as a blonde but not as a person. She splintered Thor's hammer. Connie has to be a beneficiary of the Bates Motel. She came on so she can utilize the provided acne treatments that are working marvelously but not endearing her to the hostage. Give Korak a break. He didn't vine through the wilderness to marry Leah Michele. Hades (the expert) left the God clouds to deliver Pandora's box filled with lame curiosities and firecrackers lobbed at Steve. Steve expected Tik Tok and got Yahoo. That's expert quackery. Steve and Korak don't want to offend their women. They want to bestow them a sense of self so when they get dumped they can courageously move on. Not also means no. 10-Sep-2020
Steve finally caved to all the sexual harassment and obliged Mishel with some affection. Daddy bedded her with his little friend Teddy and it was cute. Mishel complained to the girls that he didn't grab anything worth a molestation charge. Male etiquette is to feel up whatever lays next to them. Mishel will regain her powers when she realizes it was her decision to make not his. The surprises were meant to have Michael shit his pants but it looks like he drank them away. New memories forgotten. A marriage nemesis returned. Thank you.
I almost forgot. Korak's mother made him a shirt out of jungle baby diapers. 28-Aug-2020
The experts torched Steve for not grabbing free pussy. It's part of the experiment. Connie broke the couples' hearts by displaying the vulnerabilities that get your partner bullied. Even Michael empathized. When she threw down the Korak imprisonment card, it felt a little psycho. Haha heehee hoho. 27-Aug-2020
Drusilla's family attempted to shove Thor's hammer up his butt but all he did was turn Red Hulk. The couples attempted to stake Drusilla at the fact check dinner for sinking her teeth into everyone's marriage. Korak was chastised yet again for flipping on vines that don't land on Connie. He admitted no attraction to her as his peers snipped at what was left of his dick. Steve was bullied for considering Mishel a friend. If women continue to pressure men about sex, rapey assholes will presume they asked for it. 21-Aug-2020
Oh no. It looks like Steve texted the mafia sexline. Wifey homesteads were a dick shrinking female gangbang, raping hubbies for not reaching a solid woody for their family member. Mike realized Stacey is a Bravo housewife lost on a different channel. Drew took a bullet and admitted how men really feel about botox. All KC wanted was for him to pretend that she was as special as she pretends him to be. The unhealthy connived Thor into getting a unity tattoo. He put it somewhere his future girlfriend wont look. Korak (Tarzan's boy) was held and questioned severely by the Karen squad. Mishel's amazons served the best spread and conducted the most adult conversation. Mama whipped it up and defined it. 20-Aug-2020
Aleks and Ivan scooted before more truth warranted it. Vroom. Vroom.
Thor did a Terminator imitation and brought his hammer to school to show the teaching experts and opinionated students the beautiful but unhealthy bride it slammed.
Jonethen was chastised by the group for complimenting Connie and admitting his willy doesn't want to greet her. The only truth a woman wants to hear is the best lie a man can concoct to make fairytales come true.
KC and Drew. Drew's teddy rainbow collection received support.
Mishel and Steve are the cutest right now. Maybe he can, maybe he will. If they do, please enjoy it. 14-Aug-2020
Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)
Male money devised a rich plan to swipe female crew. Teach them self-defense and let them win. Hysterical.
Aesha missed "normal" people.
Chef Nasty Fucker lost it over some fresh dick sponges that didn't arrive in time. 14-Sep-2020
The snow sifter moved the boat all by herself and saved two lives. Lots of energy. She saved a charter that confused her high legs with her sea legs and a comrade that floats. A charter concocted a clever way to call her friend a fat fuck. She only apologized after hot daddy snapped her neck back into place. Chef served no legs but bounteous food. I wished it had been the other way around. A sense of draining exhaustion hit pretty Jesus when his ex reached out. I saw his dik shrink during his Shakespearean outbursts and disappear when his rocket sat next to him. It's ok rocket, his next girlfriend is going to fuck the pretty right out him. 31-Aug-2020
Post Hannah all is a celebration of what I term "cute." Romance rides the waves to titanic (disaster,) dancers make it back onboard (fear), fuckers got trained to listen (men,) guests returned to sliming (sex,) all because Hanna no longer breathes the same air. I miss being depressed with Hannah...and Kiko. 25-Aug-2020
Captain got "Ellen" on Hannah.
Hannah was lawfully hoisted.
Malia kept lawfully exonerating herself, for the cameras. (Boat snatching is a job requisite.)
A charter who wanted to make Bugs a bunny brought a 32" dildo onboard for the crew to connect with and for Bugs to twirl. They missed a golden opportunity by not introducing it to the captain. The dildo wasn't as offensive as the person who needed it and used it.
Complicit Chef leggy suffers from prissy imperfection anxiety. Shells on a shell plate is a no no. White people don't chew. It's suck, swallow. No wonder Malia needs control of the boat. 17-Aug-2020
New sweet gams squish.
Malia commandeered the entire boat but mostly Hannah, so she can have squishy time with her boyfriend. A deed that would end up in court if a man lead the charge.
Why is Adam allowed worst sexual innuendo etiquette than dickhand? Where's dickhand? 11-Aug-2020
Lovecraft Country (2020-)
I wish the production would ignore whites the way they did us because white men as devil diatribe is tired. The horror inhabits everything in history that we celebrated with no punch. I want to celebrate who we are, should be, can be, not something we never were. Wasting a beautiful cast on nonsense. 31-Aug-2020
The Jefferson clap was joyous, ex-President to Jorel was cheek and daddy brick stripped with comic book accuracy. The cast is in it but the words don't feel them. Too much confusion to be fixated on anything. I'm confused because my old head can't grasp it or because the words are slippery. Exactly. Its biggest problem is fixating on not humiliating itself in the portrayal of people that were. The people whose courage we still remember. 23-Aug-2020
Amiably cast, historically vibrant but returning the black man to when he had no power does us no good. (Wos included.) A scare happens when you don't expect it. White cops versus saints versus action heroes. There's only one answer. The three protagonists are full of huff and puff when it's historically known that most people didn't stand up at that time. That's why we're here. It's insulting to the few that famously dared. The big bang threat was unexpectedly absurd and depressing. (Daddy brick needs to get naked.) 17-Aug-2020
90 Day Fiance: Couples Tell All (2019)
The word soulmate has been destroyed for me. Why does anyone think that another soul can be connected to you for eternity but not death. Tania is the female empowerment culled from watching too much Nick sitcoms and Jane The Virgin. Syngin needs to squish right out of there before he turns to squash. Anny. He's looting your ass. Mamita tell the grandmother you want a job in porn. Too bad for the cute kid. Juliana & Michael. I hope to see the Lifetime version of how it went down ten years later. Lesbian Ex Killers... Fuck 'em attitude all the way. Emily & Sasha. Girl, he fucked me at the gym. Good luck not reaching for them cookies. Jasmin is so ravenous that she turned Blake's eyes blue. Anna & Mursel. I can't tell if it's genuine but her son Joey isn't opposed to the marriage because he lost control of the household it's because he really thinks something is afoot and mama ignored it. The psychology is outdated. Mike & Natalie. Natalie is calling bullshit on the process by establishing that there is more than one reason to get a green card, she' just being brutally honest about the demands. Nice men always follow bad boys by giving everything but pleasure. Mike & Juliana. Walking on broken glass. Michael & Angela. Angela is the aggressor that will lead you out of danger. Her hopes and dreams are so gigantic that she almost makes it seem possible. She deserves to get herself some. Angela, the buffoons have been cursed. Wink, Wink. Twitch. Kaboom! 30-Aug-2020
Baewatch: Parental Guidance (2019-)
Family elders get to observe and decipher the toxicity in a youngling's infatuation. The tests are minimal and the production is too handy with band-aids but a youngling can't help being a youngling and left alone it will unravel. Red drunk pulls a white power card to shut down an argument with his black girlfriend. That's a never. I wished that had been singled out but without black representation both families were at a loss. The series punctuates its premise but it plays out apprehensively. 25-Aug-2020
Dick Van Dyke Show, The (1961-1966)
S4E23. Girls Will Be Boys. The Petrie boy is being bullied by a girl. Mama ideation triumphed in getting him to open up and supported him in his hurt but it didn't solve the problem. The violence continued even with parental interference. Sexual identity was contemplated, a boy's role in the world was catapulted and the talent was given the opportunity to portray gender conflict with laughter and honor. Daddy Perfect Hands believes boys shouldn't hit girls. Daddy Perfect Hands grows tired of the dainty threat and instructs his son to pummel her. It was resolved with sexual harassment. Equality. 15-Aug-2020
Brilliant mad men and women. 30-Jun-2020
Daddy suffering (Ken) hijacked it with an hilarious rap and alpha domination. I like to hear Shiv, I like to say Shiv, I love to watch Shiv. Holly Hunter (Rhea) is the clamped whisperer. When she nips it she doesn't let go. Tom shreds himself to death attempting to bare the soul of a character that rarely sees it. Culkin plays his character like he has no dick. Funny. Nobody messes with daddy. Writers that want to keep their jobs and a production that keeps on pushing it. It consummates on a boat big enough to fit two Below Decks in it. It was all about respect. 08-Aug-2020
The best corporate fuckers on TV. 06-Aug-2020
A malted shake with only whipped cream. That's a lot of protein. 24-Jul-2020
S1E3 found daughters giving handjobs, alphas verifying status on staircases and daddies snapping their tongues. I am no longer floating, my feet are firmly planted. 18-Oct-2019
Exposing how the family dynamic exploit each other for success. The sticks have returned:
Brian Cox - daddy doesn't need a stick
Nicholas Braun (Greg) - he'll carry anyone's stick
Alan Ruck (Connor Roy) - he licks them
Kieran Culkin (Roman Roy) - he shoves them up his nose
J Smith-Cameron - she's not carrying anyone's stick
Jeremy Strong (Kendall Roy) - alpha in the making swings his own. 18-Oct-2019
My childhood babysitter and educator. I was two years old when I started watching. It brought sunshine to my quarantine and provided safety through aquatic adventure. A single man in charge, raising two boys with self reliance, love of environment and respect for girls. That's sweet. They twink and survive despite the shortcomings of mostly socializing with nature and as a child I appreciated that. Flipper is a marvel mostly because he was the adorable pet that didn't pee or poop on your carpet. He was portrayed mostly by females with remarkable underwater scenes and perfected animal training. The sound effects are classic recognition. Women helped write and created a diverse set of women in charge. It's a dreamy place to live and it helps lull me to sleep. Brian Kelly was bad news to a gay child. Daddy distraction. 28-Jul-2020
A woman running from privilege and crippling family expectations, an immigrant daddy breaking all the rules so his family can taste freedom, a daddy enforcer justifying the cruelty of his position and the family he needs to provide for and a woman in charge drowned by logistics and empathy. Everyone looking for a state that will unleash them and love them.
The immigrants leave a torturous country to protest in the land of sanctuary.
Yvonne Strahovski whacks insanity into our heads until she/us can't take it. Jai Cortney daddy hulks with great emotion. Rachel House nails scary bitch. The colorful cast represents with dignity.
Well thought and gruffly executed to punch a message through. "Just one of you have to matter."
I May Destroy You (2020)
Michaela Cole is a wordmeister and her vision keeps compelling.
I do hope rape doesn't define a woman's lifetime. According to this representation, most men are rapists. It forced me to calculate how many more times I was sexually assaulted when I thought I was hooking up and added another 156 to the other hundred molesters. Bang Zoom! 16-Jul-2020
It courageously tackles the subservient role a black woman plays in interrace sex. (This show is not kidding.) 26-Jun-2020
Michaela Cole represents a harmful truth that is socially forgiven until the effects punt it. Her soul swings with support staff. I'm in. 15-Jun-2020
Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)
The guests were of the masterly type. A grunt called Hannah, Bugs Bunny. That's okay. Hannah called them assholes. Oysters made Hannah hop like a service animal for the rest of the charter.
Captain got dirty.
The rocket is about to land.
Pete knows how to eat and suck on meat bones.
Kiko kicks ass.
That's a fine pretty table, Bugs. 05-Jul-2020
There's a dickhand on board.
Hannah shut the base of an Ace, handled children like flopping fish and got pied in the face.
Captain pied crew members in their face.
The men denied, apologized and mind plotted... revenge.
A rocket was launched.
Kiko did his thing. 24-Jun-2020
Hannah frightened her employee.
Lara sought battle with Hannah by scary military code.
Chef Kiko. I'd lick his plates and nothing else.
The deckhands. Something you mechanically bull ride because you're wrecked.
Neither scientist or cis straight I be to recognize that Jessica is a rocket. (Don't explode.)
Don't call her sweetheart, sweetie or any words with calories. Call her daddy White.
Captain Sandy is commanding more than a boat. Good for her. 15-Jun-2020
Captain Sandy finally twirled her balls and her skirt. 25-Sep-2019
The Flintstones put aside shenanigans to celebrate hard work but only the certified kind. Gifted is out, snobbery is forever. 20-Jul-2019
Wet snouts all season. 12-Sep-2018
I guess its okay to present a woman with an unknown penis if it has vodka in it. 18-Jul-2018
The client reference sheet for food exemplifies how the rich can add waste to the environment. 13-Jun-2018
Rules and liability specifications are locked, there's room for us to guess which crew member will fuck up the hardest and the first clients were "Plantation Rich" (they think having money means they pay for enslavement.) 16-May-2018
Highlights include a lady captain and a lamentable pup, love-thrashed by a pocket siren that exhumes growls and sniffs from the male crew. Hannah quips her way through most of it but then succumbs to the lunacy that all are indulging in. Kate, your turn. 16-Aug-2017
It's everything the initial is yet augmented in the unbalanced crew department. The commander seems perplexed by his spiky helpmates and we shall be banqueted until our brains too become unhinged. It's a preferable fix to the housewives and it fulfills AHS: Asylum munchies. The hottest is the most baked. 30-Jun-2016
Love Island Australia (2018-)
I missed the UK version so much that I resorted to this backup. This is a different animal, full of seriousness and ferocity.
The men are cave dwellers and the women, the suppliers that keep toxic men conquering.
If all a woman wants is bigness, handsomeness, grunting and darkness you are forsaking the feminist dream.
The brutality of what each sex stands for baffles me. 29-Jun-2020
The sea bursts with trans merms, foreign landers and common ground.
The throuple endangers itself for the esteem of want and need.
Eline Powell stamped her signature on otherworldly and frightening beauty.
An interracial cast that realistically blends.
The mythology holes don't stop me from digging it.
The aqua war delivered TV best.
The characters can't stop me from caring for it.
Women own the water that men feed from.
It's an analogy for many things but the message is to respect all life.
Beautiful colors of the universe are united to show us their TV Q.
The daddies are pretty big things, rescuing respectfully and allowing the women, heroism.
The throuple has me banging my head. It's hot, unique, eek and curious.
The mythology is well done, the effects don't suck and my favorite merman is chocolate. 23-Jun-2020
S1E3. I'm getting Kyle XY jitters along with Carrie mermaid spooks. It takes us away from the muck and asks that we be entertained. 16-Jun-2020
Love, Victor (2020-)
E6-10. Performer TV IQ is high enough to rise above the suds, convey the right emotions, make us addicted and not drown from the weight of the soap. 18-Jun-2020
S1E5. It observes and overprotects its subject. It theorizes that problems only graze and that all people are inherently capable of understanding. Fables only grant the curious teen, added hurt on their venture. I'd rather tell it, solve it and not wait for the miracle to happen. 17-Jun-2020
House of Flowers (2018)
S3. They smeared dark paint and punched holes into what could have been a masterpiece. Everything we cherished was punished, everything celebrated, got cursed and everything funny, nagged. The backstory was a cheap attempt to keep us interested in the life of a woman that presently doesn't exist. It's hurtful and pointless. Everything gay has become annoyance and everything Paulina De La Mora has been shredded. The only thing left is the frame. 29-May-2020
Scouring the family axis with joy. 02-Oct-2019