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TV Posts Tagged as 'Hot Swatch'
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This year was all about daddy fashion. Daddy wore as many accentuating pants as we hope he has inches. The winner of the race also won the best leg contest. No disrespect, but I don't want to fuck them, my comic book character does and only the legs. I knew that one couple wasn't going to make it when one partner kept smiling like a loser. 08-Dec-2022
Daddy Phil rocked some stylish pants that made his Keoghan pop out. Nice daddy. The granite bros have me wishing for a thong challenge. I want to see the tall dude but not his wife Karen skimp too but I feel guilty. They look like they tie people up. Father and Daughter. She eyerolls stealthily whenever her father extols his masculinity and makes her look stoopid. The L Sisters were my favorite. They barfed eating greek Souvlaki. Yes, I know! It's that awful white sauce. It tastes like baby vomit. That's why I order it without it. It's really better that way. 18-Feb-2022
S2E4. The hostess with the mostest is still most. The new climate soars like desperation for attention and a warning that fairy tale relationships are doomed. A gay partner appeared to pretend that he didn't know that gays "prioritize" cheating in their relationships. He was just mad because they brought him a girly boy but his lover, a man. A breath taker with astounding legs is trying to turn a lesbian into an everything bagel. A couple is hooking up with another couple's partner. Double the doom. A cheated upon wailed like an animal. I've never heard that sound before. Pretty Jesus is consistently crucified by the women in his life. His wife had choices and his one night stand couldn't stand him. Short cis men are the most insecure because giants are on every woman's shopping list. The only thing stopping a partner from cheating is a lack of mutual sexual attraction and nothing more. 07-Dec-2022
Captain Daddy is helming a boat full of digressing fools. Chief Stew Frasier is waiting for a gangbang to push him into aggression. Chef Loops decided that finagling questionable chemicals into meals for guests is a better option than being addicted. White girls will never get along with black superiors unless they're spraying spritzes of sugar, ie: soda. Chris Lamb is onboard to make us forget him, Ross McHarg was hired to not say "gay," and Tony will suck anybody's dick because in his native country, he would starve, if he didn't. 06-Dec-2022
It stayed true to tradition and didn't end with a bang because they yucked it up with mumbo jumbo. Ryan and Co. are gone, lets' show them what we can do. Everything except reigning it in. Add a little magic over here, irony over there and a preach or two around the corner. Charlie Carver's observations as a writer allowed him to present real gay dilemmas. That's a great contribution. The ladies brought depth, strength and full watt. The Brian De Palma glow, was class. Art shouldn't have to explain itself, though. It just is. 04-Dec-2022
Ryan & Co. serve enough gay meat to feed a Texas Chainsaw Massacre. The stories intertwine nicely. Gay is not what it's cracked up to be. We live life waiting for our perversions to be rewarded. It never happens. I have to disagree with the politically correct's hate towards cops. In my day there were good cops and bad cops, like Jedis. A lot of the time, the good cop was gay. I am thankful for that. You almost want to look away every time that smart begins a story because a shitty end awaits it. Russell Tovey peaks our interest with egg-shaped ears, ass encapsulation and making it overwhelmingly and illegitimately hard to listen to a foreign accent without cumming. Zachary Quinto is wolfy and orgasmic. Charlie Carver epitomizes an innocent victim. Joe Mantello is the kind of daddy you want to breathe a moment of life into. Isaac Cole Powell is a body you can only dream about. I know they are going to fuck it up but I'm going to relax and enjoy the ride. 25-Oct-2022
My favorite Wednesday Addams, of all time, is Aubrey Plaza. She became a bitch when her mother, Morticia, started boiling everything and aunt Lester lost her hair. Theo James is a fuck kill. Coolidge is being treated like a goddess by the gays and I hope she lets them have it. Hale Lu Richardson is Florence Pugh's Eve. Will Sharpe has to explain himself or show more thigh. Fahey is a rain of artificial sunlight. Michael Imperioli and F. Murray Abraham play a perfect father and son team that identify but don't accept that one begat the other. They fear their beautiful youngling will inherit their sad fate. The bigger you lie, the better the marriage but by then, the soul is gone. Female sexual harassment in the workplace, men expressing the difficulty in containing themselves, the sexes exploiting that, intelligent words coming out of fine actors and a director that provides the vision he describes. 30-Nov-2022
Mike White delivers an itchy script full of descriptive characters and awkward situations. The luscious atmosphere is reduced by human mania and overcompensation. Jennifer Coolidge cracked my funny bone, tore my heart and was masterclass as a woman acquiring power by being weak. Murray Bartlett played an outrageous gay asshole with ridiculous tendencies. Jake Lacy was pure alpha as a newlywed lord ruling over his petty wife. Molly Shannon whipped up a venomous mother-in-law from hell. Steven Zahn and John Gries gripped man sensibilities. Connie Britton and Alexandra Daddario convinced me. Natasha Rothwell spilled her heart and Jolene Purdy split my stitches. The teens were beautifully vacant, troubled, witty and intoxicating, just like vacations. 19-Aug-2021
No one recognized that Bartiste is the thigh king. I know daddy looked like Pebbles Flintstone but to me he was a Bam Bam Rubble. I wanted to pull it and give him a back bath. Cole showed off his thighs too. As if. The females called Cole a good guy then tore him apart in the description." "You fat shaming hoochie fucking dirty ass broke lying motherfucker evil spawn of satan with dreamy eyes." The women were so supportive of each other that they made Cole cry. Putting Vicks on the tips of his fingertips and rubbing his eyes worked. Colleen was petrified to look Cole's way. She did it in the intro and ticked uncontrollably away. She saw those eyes. Yikes. I think she might have wet herself again. If she did that means that she suffered the whole hour without a diaper change due to the lack of commercials. Guess who's available to fuck somebody's wife? Dude, she lives alone! 09-Nov-2022
The show wastes the contestants and their guests' time by planning a fake wedding in the hopes of both parties saying yes? How humiliating. Nick's idea, wasn't it. 08-Nov-2022
S3E8. Would the thigh king agree to abort a future serial killer? No one should have the audacity to bear humans that can't exist without immense help. A lot of these kids can't communicate how they feel. We interpret how they feel. How do we know they're not saying, "I hate you, I hate you". Where's daddy? Is he working his thighs again while I suffer in pain? Yo, barbecue pork is giving the king a run for his money. What a beautiful fuck roast. Bartiste can shed some hair on Andrew's cloud puffs. Brennan looks like that but can't make any money? Ooh. Colleen was not at the club 'til 2:30 in the morning, she was washing her panties. They take forever to dry. They got wet from all the attention Cole was giving her. Both Matt and Cole were more argumentative with their fiancees than they were with each other. Their confrontation was bullshit. Matt really said, "please, I'm begging you, don't fuck my wife" and Cole said, "I won't" but thinking, "I'm gonna fuck your wife". Raven is going to regret taking an Ambien. She's gonna be woozy afterwards. Raven should have paired herself with the other thigh master if she wanted to live comfortably. We know he's a super daddy because he continuously spit it in everyone's face. Fuck other people on the side and go shopping. 06-Nov-2022
S3E7. You must become blind if you want to find love. Bartiste has cheating pork thighs, Cole has fuck all the girls silly eyes, Matt has kick your ass for being a slut ticks, Brennan's eyes turn black when nobody is looking and SK is an Ambien pill (30 minutes in your system before it knocks you out). It's about immature women that read fairy tales as children and believe them. For men, it's a "How To Pick Up Vulnerable Chicks" guide. Lie, lie, lie. 06-Nov-2022
It makes fun of itself before we get a chance to. Mockumentary is its misplaced inspiration. When pool boy recounts his sexual encounters with mommy and daddy pastor he edges close enough to wink and fuck the camera. He was dying to show us his dick. Privileged beauty is bought for an unsatisfied housewife and a latent homosexual. When beauty tries to break his contract, god's disciples rebel which god's beauty avenges. The Trump years were exhausting and felt like a foreboding comeback. Pool boy's sister had way too many things to say about her brother's prowess. Tom Arnold makes a cameo. Religion is a business. 02-Nov-2022
Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-) 
When will men learn that women don't want to have kids with bald heads and hairy backs? It's off-putting, especially if they turn out to be girls. The only way to prove a gay steward a liar is to film it. Shouldn't the pronunciation of Mzi be Mitzy instead of Zee? The captain only popped out at opportune moments. Example: "the gay guy is going to call that nosey girl a bitch. Listen, wait, then pop out." I want to see the chef's eyes turn black when he's banging a chick. He has "You" type relationships with the boat, crew and that chief stew casserole. 17-Oct-2022
Deck Jason was belittled for confusing" being himself" with "honesty." 21-Sep-2022
The crew dressed like Guy Fieri and I didn't get it. Why the big boobs? A strange dick in a gay's mouth fixes his teeth but makes his job performance wonky. If a gay boy unzips in a woman's face it's not sexual harassment. If a strait man compliments a gay boy's ass it's an honor. Ex-new boyfriend of chief stew is worried that ex-new girlfriend is thinking of the chef's dick every time she sees him. He needs to helicopter in and remind her what a tasty dick looks like. The captain keeps seeing the same dirty spot after a few sips and not. Natalya snitched on her boss (not-twin) and stew Whoopsy. The captain called them pigs and Whoopsy exclaimed that Natalya had opened the fish market. What the hell is that? Is that a new gender? 12-Sep-2022
Lesbians in charge still can't incorporate a hot male crew member. Trust me, the sex jokes would be less offensive. Captain Sandy does not hit things when she has a few sips. A gay steward gets a tooth infection when there is no constant dick in his mouth. I can't tell those brunette stewards apart. If I were Captain Sandy I'd make one of them cut their hair. 15-Aug-2022
The most devious mother is the one that makes everybody think she's a great parent by constantly tooting her own horn, garnering prizes and adulation from an unsuspecting public and using her children's pain as confirmation that she is great. The woman in question is more of a monster than a sinner. Grandma blames a religious cult and a surviving child is a bundle of confusion. The good mom monster guise never lets up, even when the bloody bones are in her face. Everyone covers for everyone else, monster learned to lie from mother grandma and the murdering qualities from having children. We will never know how it happened because mother won't allow it. It might tarnish her image. 30-Sep-2022
Cinematic art ceases during wind down when Ryan's team inserts modern politics into the victims' families' mouths. Little sympathy is garnered due to the hypocrisy that they expect the police to protect them but be hands off if they themselves commit a crime. You can't have it both ways. The sandwich inspired its most chilling scene. The addition of another gay monster killer paralleling the present one is terrifyingly well done. Evan Peters never lets go of his disguise, Richard Jenkins slaughtered, unrecognizable Molly Ringwald had moments, the actor who played Jesse Jackson was eerie good and Niecy Nash's character stayed too long but she remained great. In the end, everyone exploited a man who felt alive in killing because he was invisible through life. It's a disservice to the victims if we don't learn to protect ourselves from it instead of denying it. Dahmer had the last laugh. He is ever more present and his surroundings are all but invisible. 27-Sep-2022
S1E4. Evan Peters takes us inside a gay serial killer's monster bubble and he gives the impression that his art will be popping iteration balloons for years to come. Niecy Nash is that bossy bitch neighbor that's always in people's business that no one wants to hear but gets politically redeemed by being the right amount of bossy. Nash holds the note a second too long but her character sings. Richard Jenkins used craft in telling the story of a parent that feels pain for raising a monster. Michael Learned reminded me of mama Walton but later, vanquished it. She embodies the bitter old woman that supports you to be whomever you want as long as its made up at church. Did she inspire his racist thoughts? The show obsesses over bloody squishy things instead of sexy, kinky things. I hope it switches. Man's true nature is exposed during sex. At that time, the community agreed that he was scary as fuck because we would have fucked him...and died. Only a victim can describe a monster and only a monster can describe his family. The series proclaims that mothers should not have children if they are mentally suffering, a weird child best ignored is not a happy child, a grown father dissecting animals with his gay kid encourages human devastation, daddy keeps encouraging human devastation because he can't beat his wife and cops get punished for being sensitive to gays. Evan's thought process is to lay blame on the parents and make himself accountable for the joy that chaos brought him and because only fucked up parents can create such a fucked up kid. 23-Sep-2022
Predictability won. I think Monte is even more allergic, now. Anybody can become a winner if they coast on others, represent, wave, purr on stupid menx and endorse chips. The show could not redeem Kyle, with the beautiful legs, with an apology (for deciphering the whole reverse thing) so they included him in a fake audience "favorite"lineup. The winner was given the opportunity to distribute the wealth but chose to Oprah it. 26-Sep-2022
Julie Chen made a music video so I can talk about her. OK, I'm talking about her. Hahahaha! There is a gay romance brewing amongst Monte, who seems allergic to vagina and is posing as a disinterested cis man for money, and Taylor, a beauty contestant whose experience goes beyond waving. Turner is that squishy ass that cis men fuck accidentally when they're drunk or its dark. Brittany resembles a comedian you'd fire from SNL. Boy, I can't wait for Julie Chen to start talking. Wink, wink. 01-Oct-2021
I experienced it, like I did in childhood, watching Saturday Morning Cartoons for comfort, avoiding abuse and with eyes wide open. It's cheeky and fun with nothing in particular to say. For instance, wouldn't She-Hulk's vagina muscles crush a normal guy's dick or is it rubbery? Moments of pondering lost. Everything court is not "The Good Wife." Why does Wong only make contact with Jennifer when she's She-Hulk but green screened when the actress is present? I got a "The Good Wife" shiver. A great babysitter. 15-Sep-2022
Finale. Giving a gay teen an award for coming out is not bravery, it's sabotage. Gay = pay. Victor should have been acknowledged and supported but never paid. We are gay because of our sexuality, it does't bode well to expect something for it. The show provided a point of view throughout, supplied the screen with cuteness, squishiness and hometown charm. Daddy Salazar obsessed the whole season about his daughter having sex for no sustainable reason. He didn't give two twats about Victor fucking all the boys in town but his daughter was unattainable? He needed to sit both of them down to have a sex talk. If he weren't such a squishy motherfucker I would have erased him. Felix made his Styles prettier. Lake is also part of the squish department. She muses life wittily while squishing. Isabel hit all the right notes. Pilar found her voice. Mason got prettier. Mia is growing. Rahim was hot and bubbly. Hotter when he was pretending to be straight. Nick has hair and abs. Yeah, you gonna fuck him! Benji is that beautifully delicate thing that is unattainable because his mental health breaks. Victor is stud boy in charge. It wraps with a bow that I saved. 19-Jun-2022
Papito got in touch with his inner slut. Thatta boy! 17-Jun-2022
S2E8. Mama wrecked. Humans named Raheim are the #1 cause of gay break-ups in the entire world. Did daddy give daughter a present? I don't remember. Might be why she's a slut. Felix needs to gain some Styles likability, Lake needs to liberate herself from pettiness, daddy needs to fuck a trans, mama needs to fuck a giant and Benji needs a sugar daddy. Mia is the noticeable surprise that can evolve into something. "Shake yourself off before every scene, watch how Kerry does it and you'll do great." 15-Jun-2021
S2E6. Felix' story was heartbreaking. (Nosey white people.) There is nothing more disagreeable than watching a privileged woman bear an interracial child. 13-Jun-2021
Do youngsters really obsess over sex before having it? I guess you do if you don't have any cousins guiding you through puberty. I slept with people before I greeted them so this is cloudy for me. Boys who wait for sex are imperfect. These darling boys look like they can teach sex. Lake is a quirky favorite whose matched with Felix and his sad mentally unstable life. I hope it strikes. Andrew settled into a personality to become a cool friend and woo the delightful Mia. Daddy needs a breakdown. Mama needs to break loose. I did not know that coloring your hair is gay, gay. 13-Jun-2021
S2E3. Snuggle daddy does like Oprah taught him and bought his sons' love with favorite things. 12-Jun-2021
S2E2. I know something Victor doesn't. It doesn't matter if you come out. It's a selfish act that's been ingrained in us like the opposite of conversion therapy. Nobody cares. You tell people you feel safe with and let the strangers guess. A mother's homophobia cannot be fixed. She can tell you she loves you, she can accept you and your husband but in her heart, she will never see it as true. Life is not a fairytale but a burden. We can't force mama into PFLAG "therapy" just because we don't want to hear her opinion. I don't like Victor's swag. The audacity of giving his mother an ultimatum was privileged. There is no believable romantic couple. Mia needs to avenge Victor by stealing his next boyfriend. For gay realism, Victor needs to date 10 boys per season, in between the molestations and rapes. Daddy has such a nice face. 12-Jun-2021
E6-10. Performer TV IQ is high enough to rise above the suds, convey the right emotions, make us addicted and not drown from the weight of the soap. 18-Jun-2020
S1E5. It observes and overprotects its subject. It theorizes that problems only graze and that all people are inherently capable of understanding. Fables only grant the curious teen, added hurt on their venture. I'd rather tell it, solve it and not wait for the miracle to happen. 17-Jun-2020
I smell a Lana & Lois season. They already found a way to have daddy Supe lapse into comas. Lana banned all Kent men from her lesbian daughter and herself. They are toxic. She would have banned her ex-husband too but he needs to pay her rent. Sometimes daddy Supe appears to be the same height as Lana. 10-Jun-2022
Jonathan didn't need to fashion a leather jacket and lace gloves to make us accept his coolness. A close up touch, a pre-alopecia treatment, a tattered t-shirt and some skinny jeans would have kept us onboard. Lois starves in both dimensions, Superman's crotch measures the same in every universe, Lana doesn't burst any bubbles in either, Lang's daughter pontificates lesbianism against a boy that fails in both dimensions. Old bitches are making it difficult for male heroes to survive. 07-May-2022
Married At First Sight Australia (2015-) 
My 12 year old cocksucker swallowed Hades' cum and it tasted like a raspberry margarita. Pretty boys don't need to try as hard in relationships when set up with insecure mole faces. Hercules is not that hot because he smells like a chimp. Daniel did not pass the good dick test. The horse is ashamed to admit that she was set up with a fart. Al fixed his wife by shoving his Bizarro Colin Jost dick inside her. Married women who find solace prescribing pity to a newly single newlywed are sluts. 09-Jun-2022
Hades arises from his tomb to test humanity's tolerance for truth. A woman can only fathom a dream if a gay man concocts it. Man losing his hardon for a cultural thing is a real thing. He's bald Jerry, is no longer sexually gratifying his ick. Brent is sweet to make you fat and incapable of moving when he cleans you out. Al Perkins always looks surprised to fuck. He's prettier than a boy bander and is successful in bed. That's not possible! What is his crime? A giant ear bit texan should not have to explain himself to a pretend Hillary. Maybe he hates you because you're not doing Asian right not because he hates your culture. Hades set our dicks on fire. 06-May-2022
Season 6 was withheld from us because we are not mature enough to handle emotional failure. Hades and his coven interpret every relationship based on a fairytale and are genuinely horrified when reality proves it untrue. Hades unleashes romper terminators to seduce Ares and Hercules to ignite the audience and insult the wives. I could taste the master's lava. I threw up but didn't explode. 01-Oct-2020
