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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Hot Swatch'
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After completing a space mission, an inexplicable disturbance causes two cosmonauts to crash land back to earth. One is faceless and comatose and the other has a symbiotic alien attached to him. A female doctor about to lose her license is coerced into psychoanalyzing the subject who has no memory or idea that an alien host resides within him. Her job is to cause scientific history by safely separating them. The alien arises during deep sleep and survives the length of an hour outside the cosmonaut. The alien is fiercely freaky and a bloodthirsty asshole. The surprises don't queef, the actors command and the whole is a serious Venom. The Russians may serve their drinks cold but their hearts beat warm. 22-Nov-2020
Crotch daddy trapezes, animal obedience and special talent, Friday the 13th kill inspiration and madame Crawford eminence in charge. Welcome to the circus. Keep your eyes on daddy, mommy dearest and animal freaks to entertain the crap out of fun. 14-Nov-2020
Tik Tokkers go hunting and prey upon a super K dad all alone and stoned at home. The wife and their boys went to another location to await him as he finished a job so they can have a family celebration. The girls are mad-driven, sex hungry hot dogs whose destruction you wouldn't lose sleep over. Art makes them mad. They shred it and draw fat penises on it. They perform outrageous skits to make babies and horny daddies pay attention. They have no talent. They hate men. The reason the entire bottom half of the planet yells out daddy during sex is because it's the most familiar. Daddy K is at his squishiest and he rips good emotions from his gut. He applied his action stamina to sex and it was sexy. The torture is guaranteed and Keanu's reactions were spot-on. Eli Roth has mad ideas and his perception is inching closer to clarification. I would but I would get in trouble. 07-Nov-2020
Thrifty white suburbanites hire cute daddy Mexicans to complete house renovations. The offer of money is the fundamental key to keep the men in line and violence is the action that keeps them on the job. Cruelty compensates for a lack of psychological study but the message is loud and clear. Don't work for white people. 06-Nov-2020
The mother of dragons goes goofy and messy to the legendary tunes of George Michael. Emilia Clarke leads with little sense. She's on a hurtful journey that should have been poignant but is annoying. Henry Golding is hot daddy giant with a glass wall constantly in front of him. Michelle Yeoh (Santa indeed) captivates with elegance, deliciousness and talent. Every actor was directed to pitch to the back audience as if it were a play. No need for that in a film. We don't want it corny but a little less cranky, maybe. Christmas is saturated with lights, the word Jesus in small letters are bountiful and the repetition of a song George Michael would resuscitate from to kill, dominates. There were so many beautiful things the director could have applied to Michael's music but decided basic was better. The ending is a surprising memorable copout. The lead character is insane. 05-Nov-2020
Sudanese refugees receive asylum in England to a house that appears too good to be true. The film exposes the culture's frailties and their strengths by unrolling the past during the celebration of the present. Something is wrong with the house, the husband and the wife. I felt the spit from the hate and I was genuinely spooked. The backstory is the magnet that keeps the house scares from falling apart. Some the of visuals meandered, separated from the backbone and made little sense but the writing kept it in check. The director is exploring, Sope Dirisu is grinding and the reach for excellence is pretty close. 03-Nov-2020
Girl gives in to the establishment of success and gets a weave. The essence of the owner lives in the hair and it has a thirst for blood. The film is campily set and perfectly cast, utilizing every 80s fashion tragedy to funny effect. Vanessa Williams arrives to chew scenery and she eats divinely. Elle Lorraine is the joke, the punchline and the effect. The knitting of the weave was excruciating and the hair sucking the blood flow from a dripping vagina was handy. 31-Oct-2020
Squid And The Whale, The (2005) 
Parents with two boys inject a marital separation into their situations. Jeff Daniels is the bitter dad that can't forgive marital indiscretions and uses the separation to win favors with the boys by turning them against their mother. Jeff slices exasperation, vulgarity, intellectual banality and the boredom of an unloved family man into a soul. Laura Linney is the studied wife who will discuss very intimate things with her children without realizing the added pressure she's pushing on them. She wants to live the liberated life that comes from besting her competition (husband) in his writing career and shoving it in his face whilst searching anywhere else for an orgasm. Linney is at her organic best. Jesse Eisenberg is the teen who is not yet a dork, kinda cute but is still creepy. He's on a sexual plight that has been curbed because of his parents' public history. He is the reason for the title and even though he's a dick, his heart sells it. Owen Kline is chilly as the kid masturbating and smearing his cum all over school, calling his dad "assman," telling mom she's ugly, cursing, laying out panties and becoming an alcoholic. Everyone is so busy competing for the other's love that love never comes. A child wants to make a parent proud as much as they want to best them. Anna Paquin is daddy's student who awakens men's desires by being a pixie and writing explicit stories about her vagina. May the best dad or son win. It's frankness felt liberating, the script was witty and smart, it went by too fast and Billy Baldwin whipped his hair back and forth. 25-Oct-2020
Dora And The Lost City Of Gold (2019) 
Latin spunk, sense of adventure, poop songs, fart swamps, cousin flirtations, CGI friends and city ineptitude. It's Dora The Explorer. The parents (Pena/Longoria) are cute but their exploration days seem limited to couch surfing for leftover Tostitos to finish off their guacamole dip. Nancy Pelosi makes the most of her cameo by surprising as a jungle witch. (I kid.) It qualifies as a most craptacular stupid thing that makes a sad heart laugh. 25-Oct-2020
Valley Of Decision, The (1945)
Impoverished daughter takes a job working for the owners of the steel mill that controls the town and whom father blames for his employment injury. Money is money, a job is an opportunity. Following Greer Garson bumbling and excelling at her job was cute, funny and "I'm proud of her." When the giant Peck acknowledges her, the passion begins and the charisma rockets. The closer the maid gets to her new family the farther away she gets from hers. I expected the romance to be histrionic but it was pensive and borrowed from real life. Unfortunately, love is constantly interrupted by employment strikes, demands, shutdowns and the threat of violence. Jessica Tandy was delicious as the runner-up who pecks at the competition 'til the bitter end. The surprises were eventful, the director kept pushing it and the conclusion is what it needed. 24-Oct-2020
Lilly James never grows into the character of Mrs. De Winter, married to a beautiful giant with the power of entitlement and a haunted past. She's a bumbler who goes head to head with a stern HOH named Mrs. Danvers whose the only person in charge. Kristin Scott Thomas sinks her teeth into a classic character that was a delightful fright but whose persona has been abbreviated to a devoted staff member. The best manipulations are designated to other characters which kills Mrs. Danvers psychosis and grants Thomas no fun. The story has been fidgeted, the lush is unimpressive, the style is non-existent, James is not the woman for the job and Hammer is a pretty package with no clue as to how to play a rich gorgeous dick. I would have preferred to see Rebecca's story play out. Mrs. Danvers could have pined for her mistress while Rebecca crushed men's spirits. Missed opportunity for some classic lesbian fun and threesomes with the Hammer. 23-Oct-2020
Gangster serving time in the army is released into a scam that involves sucker punching a widow for her money. The gangsters are divided by type but united by greed. The old timer that you can trust but has run out of gimmicks, the roughneck always by your side until the tide changes, there are tramp gangsters whose limitations and penchant for violence grants them misery, the stud with athletic edges that make the girls swoon is unmatched and most wanted and the moles destruct what the competition makes worthwhile. Garfield is thug sophistication, smarts with an aggressive charm and a daddy with a heart of gold that's going to generate much trouble. It isn't art but its tipping its hat to it. Faye Emerson scratches louder than Geraldine Fitzgerald's screams and "Mr. Gladys Kravitz" was funny. 11-Oct-2020
James Marsden had chemistry with no one. Tika Sumpter couldn't find it. There was no youth in Sonic's voice. Jim Carrey walked a tightrope of Riddler madness and The Truman Show control. I wished he had lost control but I also dreaded it. It's personal because I spent years buying new consoles just so I could play that little blue fucker. (They were awesome.) More ringtones and musical nods from the games would have stirred gleeful memories but the film provides what the games couldn't... an easy time. 07-Oct-2020
Little Girl That Lives Down The Lane, The (1976) 
Girl home alone. Dying dad bestows his daughter home security and life skills that would allow her to survive until adulthood. Alexis Smith plays the ultimate Karen whose landlady suspicions arise at a most inconvenient time and whose spats with Miss Jodie are powerhouse. (The slap was everything.) Martin Sheen was so realistically slimy as a predator that I had to imagine it was his spawn's "Charlie character" from Two & Half Men. When you acquire power from self reliance, self love and luck, only the broken and the animals will be able to understand you. Miss Jodie doesn't quiver, exudes superior knowledge, bitches like an equal and demands the respect of a girl who wants to live in the house that daddy paid for. 04-Oct-2020
It takes you to a place a superhero blockbusters rarely do. It analyzes how a superpower awakening affects everyday chores, emotions and people for better or worst. You can get yourself some cash, gain a lot of respect, kill a few people, cause a ruckus and wonder how it integrates with a personal life. The villains are born from misunderstanding and rejection. The heroes are thrust forward for its mistakes. I wish they had been granted the effects that the story aspired to but the message zapped through. 01-Oct-2020
