Movies Posts Tagged as 'Hot Swatch'
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Prey (2022)

When Predator removes his cloak and mask, its cool. He is a Jamaican space bear with gadgets. A historical portrait of Native American life and how futurism disrupts it. It was clever establishing the unthinkable. Director kept it sturdy and crawling. The heroine was crafted with moxy, determination and brawn. It can proudly stand aside the first. 08-Aug-2022
No Time To Die (2021)

The action sequences were fantastic, daddy Bond exhibited sausage and skills. Having muscles didn't hurt. I couldn't decide if the villain was ridiculous because of the actor or the writing. Sap killed the end. Bond doesn't need to announce what he's going to do. It kills the surprise. 24-Jun-2022
Fire Island (2022)

It depicts our shortcomings in a sanitized environment. There is no outside telling us we suck so we are in a safe space. It paced itself naturally as not to impose. The cast was pleasantly supportive. The writing pondered some truth but resolved most of it with prom com magic. My Fire Island experience was rated XXX for rampant sex, sissy violence and "fuck you" friends. Family Shmamily. 05-Jun-2022
I Passed For White (1960)

Interracial girl struggles with her identity as a negro. Her career options are minimal and love opportunities arise from worst circumstances. God made her white and she needs to embrace it. She leaves her family and hut to explore buildings, money, pretty men, clothes, food and such. She ignores her nature and becomes the body she possesses, a woman with great choices and big mistakes. A Ken Doll makes her forget where she was born and she forgets about her family. The film has anger, insight, respect and hilarity. My favorite scene happens at a fancy business event where she dances like a black girl and the white guests notice. 28-Apr-2022
Wonderland (2003)

The washed up male porn star with a huge dick cliche. His 14" cock was the ladder that should have saved the world. John Holmes was a porn king who sold his soul to the devil to continue to do drugs and have sex. John Holmes was either the mastermind that plotted the worst heist of his life or he was really dumb. Baby Kate Bosworth was a great young innocent in love with the aura of a "man." Lisa Kudrow was Beatrice Straight from Network. Underwritten, marvelous and powerful. She didn't flinch. Val Kilmer softens the big cock brute by being genuine. The reenactments of what occurred that fateful night raced to a satisfying conclusion. 04-Apr-2022
Father Takes A Wife (1941)

Menopausal shipping magnate dumps his business and distances himself from family because he wants to re-marry. The wife is a young Gloria Swanson playing a celebrated actress ready to retire with the old rich man of every woman's dream. She had money and success but wanted security. Adolphe Menjou was too cute and proper to put down but mama Swanson deserved to fuck his boring beautiful son. The film is split in three. Intro fears, adaptation, immigration, saving the planet and regretting it. Swanson and Menjou quarrel about masculinity and woman's liberation while receiving modern advice from the son and sweet wife. The event is Desi Arnaz as a stowaway on their honeymoon cruise where they decide to rescue him and offer him a lifestyle only the elite could afford. He can sing, shave and fuck like a bandit and he's pretty too. He deserved to fuck everybody including senior and junior. Swanson deserved to put him on her plate. Desi's accent was very light and we got to experience him how Lucy saw him. A beautiful ham. Its heart was distant, the comedy avoided the soul but the pretense was fun. 14-Mar-2022
Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013)

Apt sequel that glamorizes its predecessor and makes Leatherface a hero. It's a chill, spook and gay spectacular. 06-Mar-2022
Dune (2021)

Villeneuve attempts putting things prettier than Chalamet on screen and lending coherence to a confusing tale. The audience drives miles before the Jedi is matched with his fate and the communities are only taxed with suffering. The film doesn't allow them any fun. Everyone is a prisoner of religious fervor and nobody takes a dump. The ending is abrupt and the action doesn't build, it stays the same. Villeneuve envisions amazing things but nothing is prettier than Chalamet. 19-Feb-2022
Privilege, The (2022)

Stupid horror flex in another language with cute twinx. Nope. 11-Feb-2022
Nightmare Alley (2021)

There are beautiful patches stitched to murder, carnivals and mentalists. AHS killed carnivals and mentalists are bullshit. The film squirts beauty of everything that's interestingly slight. Bradley Cooper's Stanton starts as an Eastwood Quiet Man and evolves into a charming egotistical salesman, like a virus. Don't sleazy salesman jabber all the time? When did he acquire it? He's so damn quiet. There are no spins to copied thoughts. It was a reenactment without approach. Toni Collette was gearing up for more. She gave daddy squish Bradley a deserved bath and finished him off like a gay would. I rewound 5 times then fell asleep. Toni deserved reciprocation. Cate Blanchett is an Eternal unharmed by copper platters. She is gold lame shimmering in every era with Lucille Ball regrets and Faye Dunaway determination. It needed to either move faster or interject some cool things in between. I expected more. 05-Feb-2022
Eternals (2021)

Zhao contributes "beauty of art" and serenity to the MCU. The actors are sound comic book cutouts defying gravity with little purpose. A Galactus of significance would have created the conflict that Gods favor and audiences delight in. There was a sameness to the threat, a sadness to the truth and no color for the future. 13-Jan-2022
Red Notice (2021)

Red Notice fulfills "land of magic" type escapism. The writers created an intriguing caper and an enigmatic cast to play act it. Gal Gadot can act. Well. Daddy King Rock delighted in being the brunt of a joke, constantly, in fabulous fashion. Dickwad Reynolds steals it by being a cantankerous benevolent criminal who is also Deadpool. The director took advantage of its DCU historical significance and developed some solid characters. Heart tug. 11-Jan-2022
Venom: Let There Be Carnage (2021)

Venom is nothing without that spider boy splitting his ass in half. How fortunate that Tom Hardy has a dick-breaking ass. Venom's and Tom's duality don't combine. There are attempts to bring them together but talking to green screens is all it is. I imagined a wraparound as opposed to a pop out. I was aghast at how youthful and beautiful Mira Sorvino looked then realized with humiliation that it was Michelle Williams. Michelle got rid of the haughty accents, loosens up and shakes her sourpuss. Reid Scott was a supportive adorable dunce. I thought Stephen Graham was a Walhlberg doing a bad imitation of a better Wahlberg. Woody Harrelson was channeling an old white woman from the 1950's out on her last stroll. Go nuts, daddy! The film has no purpose except to destroy and sell but it has stupid entertainment value. I liked Asian Venom, they gave us a hint at Lady Venom and didn't dare realize a Drag Queen Venom. Why not? 07-Jan-2022
Passing (2021)

Disturbing friend passing as white revives a childhood friendship with a black woman who lives like a white person. It is filmed in black and white so we don't notice how silly it would have appeared in color with lots of white powder on pale brown faces. In this case, the story needs to be brighter than grey. Why is Clare invading a stranger's home? People don't do that unless they're desperate. She was just bored. She stole attention from the children and her friends. She fucked her husband and talked shit about her behind her back. Nothing was executed. Everything was a hint. The stalker is married to a most ignorant white man. She's getting darker because she's tanning more. Hahaha. How did she handle pubic hairs? Unless bikini waxes were all the rage, women kept it bushed in the 20's. The white stupid husband didn't get to tell his story. Thompson and Negga gave it what it required but the director did not excite us with a Bette Davis and Joan Crawford type showdown. I wanted Thompson to rage at Negga for interrupting her housewife bliss. I wanted Negga to explain herself whilst she tore her hair out. What a waste! 05-Jan-2022
Hondo (1953)

A wife/mother abandoned by hubby on Apache terrain staves off conflict when an Indian head takes a liking to her son. Apaches don't cry and revere baby boys as gifts. An ultimatum is issued. She must decide on an Indian for a husband or the Apaches will kidnap and raise her son. She keeps hoping her husband returns but the Apaches think he's dead. In struts John Wayne as a half Apache gunslinger that causes as much ruckus as he does saving. The best westerns contain wide landscapes, big hearts and simple writing. Society (Apaches) has the right to teach a boy to become a man for the benefit of his survival. Wayne is classic and Geraldine has the audacity to stand up for her son and protect their homestead. The kid is precious.
(If you want to be an asshole, you can count how many times the make-up runs off Apache legs or you can just enjoy a great story.) 26-Dec-2021