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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Hot Swatch'

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Where The Crawdads Sing (2022) Whimper

Entertainment has wrung art dry. The artists are burdened with inciting memories of great historical art and erasing them, lest the audience think they pilfered them to bring a manipulative story to the screen. You can tell the director was probably very cool headed because a household with that much violent disarray would include more horrific things. Marsh girl would have turned out a creature less human instead of a starving foreign exchange student. Daisy Edgar Jones flattens the character by not bringing star charm to a mimicking portrayal. See Sandra Dee and Troy Donahue. Even when they couldn't act, they glowed with excitement and saved a crappy movie. Her ascension to sophistication is questionable. Either her mother had a great wardrobe or girl was doing something besides chucking clams. Also, why didn't she just eat the clams? The owners of the grocery store were inspired by a very special episode of "Little House On The Prairie" featuring the blacks. A little wild girl living all alone in the swamp would attract a lot of perversion. She couldn't read but she picked up on romance real quick. She flew into her "first" kiss. How did she know? What kind of nice daddy was hers before he booked? Why was she surprised to experience Tate Walker's natural findings in the swamp? Wouldn't she have discovered it whilst being the swamp? The crime and the courtroom boredom that follows had me eye rolling. The film is a cheer for womanhood but not art. It's a facsimile. I wanted to feel something. I am a man, after all. The ending knocked it out of the park but so did Harris Dickinson, to no avail. 16-Nov-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Cold, Crime Drama, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, Girlie Movie, Hot Swatch, Manipulation, Preposterous, Relationships, Romance, Sap, Timid, Writ w/Possibilities

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16-Nov-2022


Satan's Children (1975) Bites

It's so low budget that it couldn't even afford to be one of Bobby Brady's (Brady Bunch) teenage dreams. A smooth twink rebels against his argumentative father and insistently horny sister. He travels into Wonderland with pot in his pocket and a party hang out mentality with anyone except queers. He gets gang raped by a bunch of straight men who cripple him and not. There is a rape scene but it's more hilarious than it is shocking. I couldn't tell if they were shoving things up his ass or fucking him. They dump him somewhere Satan worshippers live. Chief Stew becomes enamored. He is rescued. The deck is revolting against second in command. The captain is away. They do not rescue strangers unless master commands it. Bobby becomes immobilized because his ass hurt. Really, immobilized? He found time for flat on your back sex, though. The captain returns unexpectedly and all hell breaks loose. It doesn't develop triumph or backbone until the very end. It's laughable, langorous and unforgettable. 31-Oct-2022

Tags: 1970s, Accidental Watch, Daddy Squish, Director Insanity, Drama, Funny, Good Idea, Horror, Hot Swatch, Preposterous, Rapey, Sad Effects, Silly, Timid, Trashy, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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31-Oct-2022


Hellraiser (2022) Woof

Women commanding the gates of hell with a distorted Vogue look. The story is simple, shoots straight and pummels. Beauty is desecrated, the mind becomes distorted, anyone can be a sacrifice and the victims can fight back. The box has personality, the characters supply empathy and the deaths are nerve rackingly clever. Make-up, costume and effects wowed. A lady Pinhead origin story with lots of sex and violence would be most welcome. 09-Oct-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action Fun, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Director's Achievement, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Fun, Gay Swatch, Good Idea, Horror, Hot Swatch, Inspired, Music Swings, Relationships, Scary, Star Watt, Suspense, Thriller, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful

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09-Oct-2022


Morbius (2022) Woof

It's faithful to the psychology of its origins, someone brilliantly decided the actors should play characters instead of costumed heroes and its presentation feels like a team Burton aside. I would trade two investigators for a Krave The Hunter, a Blade or Felicia Hardy/Black Cat to up the flavor and sensuality. An MCU R-rated Batman opportunity best not lost. 13-Sep-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action Fun, Chemistry, Comic Book, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Fantasy, Fun, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Relationships, SciFi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Subtle, Words Spoke

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13-Sep-2022


Prey (2022) Woof

When Predator removes his cloak and mask, its cool. He is a Jamaican space bear with gadgets. A historical portrait of Native American life and how futurism disrupts it. It was clever establishing the unthinkable. Director kept it sturdy and crawling. The heroine was crafted with moxy, determination and brawn. It can proudly stand aside the first. 08-Aug-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Chemistry, Cultural, Director's Achievement, Drama, Elegance, Fun, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, Pretty, SciFi, Star Watt, Suspense, Violent, Words Spoke

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08-Aug-2022


No Time To Die (2021) Woof

The action sequences were fantastic, daddy Bond exhibited sausage and skills. Having muscles didn't hurt. I couldn't decide if the villain was ridiculous because of the actor or the writing. Sap killed the end. Bond doesn't need to announce what he's going to do. It kills the surprise. 24-Jun-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, Best In Action, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Enthusiastic, Fresh, Fun, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Revenge, Sap, Sentimental, Star Watt, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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24-Jun-2022


Fire Island (2022) Arf

It depicts our shortcomings in a sanitized environment. There is no outside telling us we suck so we are in a safe space. It paced itself naturally as not to impose. The cast was pleasantly supportive. The writing pondered some truth but resolved most of it with prom com magic. My Fire Island experience was rated XXX for rampant sex, sissy violence and "fuck you" friends. Family Shmamily. 05-Jun-2022

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Cliche, Comedy, Director Experiment, Drama, Funny, Sort of, Gay, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Silly, Star Watt, Subtle, Timid, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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05-Jun-2022


I Passed For White (1960) Woof

Interracial girl struggles with her identity as a negro. Her career options are minimal and love opportunities arise from worst circumstances. God made her white and she needs to embrace it. She leaves her family and hut to explore buildings, money, pretty men, clothes, food and such. She ignores her nature and becomes the body she possesses, a woman with great choices and big mistakes. A Ken Doll makes her forget where she was born and she forgets about her family. The film has anger, insight, respect and hilarity. My favorite scene happens at a fancy business event where she dances like a black girl and the white guests notice. 28-Apr-2022

Tags: 1960s, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fresh, Fun, Funny, Heart Writ, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Political Satire, Relationships, Sentimental, Sexy, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Trashy, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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28-Apr-2022


Wonderland (2003) Woof

The washed up male porn star with a huge dick cliche. His 14" cock was the ladder that should have saved the world. John Holmes was a porn king who sold his soul to the devil to continue to do drugs and have sex. John Holmes was either the mastermind that plotted the worst heist of his life or he was really dumb. Baby Kate Bosworth was a great young innocent in love with the aura of a "man." Lisa Kudrow was Beatrice Straight from Network. Underwritten, marvelous and powerful. She didn't flinch. Val Kilmer softens the big cock brute by being genuine. The reenactments of what occurred that fateful night raced to a satisfying conclusion. 04-Apr-2022

Tags: 2000s, Chemistry, Director's Touch, Drama, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Relationships, Revenge, Romance, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Trashy, Violent, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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04-Apr-2022


Father Takes A Wife (1941) Arf

Menopausal shipping magnate dumps his business and distances himself from family because he wants to re-marry. The wife is a young Gloria Swanson playing a celebrated actress ready to retire with the old rich man of every woman's dream. She had money and success but wanted security. Adolphe Menjou was too cute and proper to put down but mama Swanson deserved to fuck his boring beautiful son. The film is split in three. Intro fears, adaptation, immigration, saving the planet and regretting it. Swanson and Menjou quarrel about masculinity and woman's liberation while receiving modern advice from the son and sweet wife. The event is Desi Arnaz as a stowaway on their honeymoon cruise where they decide to rescue him and offer him a lifestyle only the elite could afford. He can sing, shave and fuck like a bandit and he's pretty too. He deserved to fuck everybody including senior and junior. Swanson deserved to put him on her plate. Desi's accent was very light and we got to experience him how Lucy saw him. A beautiful ham. Its heart was distant, the comedy avoided the soul but the pretense was fun. 14-Mar-2022

Tags: 1940s, Camp, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Sweet, Vague, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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14-Mar-2022


Texas Chainsaw 3D (2013) Arf

Apt sequel that glamorizes its predecessor and makes Leatherface a hero. It's a chill, spook and gay spectacular. 06-Mar-2022

Tags: 2010s, Action, Action Stomper, Brutal, Camp, Crapfun, Creepy, Director's Achievement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Gay Swatch, Horror, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Over the Top, Porn Violence, Scary, Sequel, Stupid Funny, Tough, Trashy, Twisty, Violent, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ w/Possibilities

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06-Mar-2022


Dune (2021) Woof

Villeneuve attempts putting things prettier than Chalamet on screen and lending coherence to a confusing tale. The audience drives miles before the Jedi is matched with his fate and the communities are only taxed with suffering. The film doesn't allow them any fun. Everyone is a prisoner of religious fervor and nobody takes a dump. The ending is abrupt and the action doesn't build, it stays the same. Villeneuve envisions amazing things but nothing prettier than Chalamet. 19-Feb-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Fantasy, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Kool Effects, SciFi, Star Watt, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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19-Feb-2022


Privilege, The (2022) Bites

Stupid horror flex in another language with cute twinx. Nope. 11-Feb-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Cliche, Dialogue Lament, Director Experiment, Drama, Fatigue, Foreign, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Lesbian, SciFi, Silly, Slow, Twinkie, Weird

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11-Feb-2022


Nightmare Alley (2021) Arf

There are beautiful patches stitched to murder, carnivals and mentalists. AHS killed carnivals and mentalists are bullshit. The film squirts beauty of everything that's interestingly slight. Bradley Cooper's Stanton starts as an Eastwood Quiet Man and evolves into a charming egotistical salesman, like a virus. Don't sleazy salesman jabber all the time? When did he acquire it? He's so damn quiet. There are no spins to copied thoughts. It was a reenactment without approach. Toni Collette was gearing up for more. She gave daddy squish Bradley a deserved bath and finished him off like a gay would. I rewound 5 times then fell asleep. Toni deserved reciprocation. Cate Blanchett is an Eternal unharmed by copper platters. She is gold lame shimmering in every era with Lucille Ball regrets and Faye Dunaway determination. It needed to either move faster or interject some cool things in between. I expected more. 05-Feb-2022

Tags: 2020s, Cold, Daddy Squish, Director Hands Off Approach, Disappointment, Hot Swatch, Inactivity, Predictable, Silly, Slow, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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05-Feb-2022


Eternals (2021) Arf

Zhao contributes "beauty of art" and serenity to the MCU. The actors are sound comic book cutouts defying gravity with little purpose. A Galactus of significance would have created the conflict that Gods favor and audiences delight in. There was a sameness to the threat, a sadness to the truth and no color for the future. 13-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Cold, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Fantasy, Gay Swatch, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Pretty, Sentimental, Star Watt, Timid, Words Spoke

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13-Jan-2022




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