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All Posts Tagged as 'Sad Effects'

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Marvels, The (2023) Bites

The film suffers from The Green Lantern and Quantum effect. If the creators wanted to take us to other worlds, the trip needed to be worth it. Skrulls with no power are obsolete. I think they took the green screen too literally. Most of the actors looked like they were talking to the back-heads of stand-ins or more green screens. The ladies became 3 instruments that didn't play well together. Distance was put between them. The glowey thing that Capt. Marvel displays when she's on, reminds one of the Quantum sky. Another action killer was giving the women the same power effect. So we don't distinguish or because it was easier? The big bad could only have gotten better had they cast that crazy lady from the Power Rangers. I thought Dar-Benn was blind for the first few minutes of the film. If she looked down, would her head-piece have fallen off? All the ladies came as they are because hair and makeup were in a rush to return to social media. They looked unkempt and shook. They would never dare look this ratched on the red carpet where fans aren't paying them to create movie magic. Somber heroes zigzagging to nowhere for nobody. I never thought of Monica Rambeau as interesting, I liked Kamala on the smaller screen but... and we all know what Carol Danvers is. The reason I liked female heroines was because they were a break from extremism and added a softer solution to the action and they were beautiful. If women keep denying themselves in order to become men, hugs will be cancelled. They can do anything? Be a girl. Good hair, make-up and dress will fulfill the rest. See: Barbie. Imagine if she was ugly and without sex appeal. No mucho $. Musicland was an in-law family situation humiliation activity. Nobody swags like they care so why bother? Was Frasier the only white man allowed in the building or was he CGId? 07-Feb-2024

Tags: 2020s, Action, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Cold, Comic Book, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Hands Off Approach, Fantasy, Girlie Movie, Lesbian, Over the Top, Predictable, Repetitive, Sad Effects, Sap, Sequel, Shrill Act, Silly, Stink Wigs, Tacky, Timid, TV-like, Writer Humiliation

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

07-Feb-2024


Sweet Tooth (2021-) Woof

Still sweet. 04-May-2023
S2E5. The focus is on getting Big Man and Mama Bear back to the mutant cubs they've created a family with. We believe as they believe that if they don't get their kids back that life is not worth living. The effects are unintentionally hilarious when conveying the beauty and gift of a special child. That mole rat thing is a cute concept poorly executed. The effects aren't Grogu appealing. The children are Lost Boys, the crocodiles are humans and the magic is religion and perversion. It succeeds in holding our attention until the hugs, through violence, become fruition. It shifts from adult doomsday affairs to wonderland realities but somehow they coalesce because the soul is in the right place. That's admirable. Please upgrade Netty Flix tech. 02-May-2023
A pandemic has caused mass human destruction. The world is granted new life by hybrid child animals that are immune. The hybrids are thought the cause of the perish and are hunted to death, experimented on or socially excused. Baby Doe Boy loses the father that kept him swirling in fantasy and safe. Ultimate daddy bear is introduced along with others as they interconnect with doe boy's big adventure to find his mother. The boy is naive and wondrous to a world that hates him because they don't know him. He's so cute. So he thinks. Nonso Anozie has man tearing hands and squishy hugs. It's violently sweet. 07-Jun-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Chemistry, Comic Book, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Fantasy, Fun, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Mystery, Politics, Sad Effects, Sci-Fi, Sweet, Touching, TV, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: TV

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04-May-2023


Satan's Children (1975) Bites

It's so low budget that it couldn't even afford to be one of Bobby Brady's (Brady Bunch) teenage dreams. A smooth twink rebels against his argumentative father and insistently horny sister. He travels into Wonderland with pot in his pocket and a party hang out mentality with anyone except queers. He gets gang raped by a bunch of straight men who cripple him and not. There is a rape scene but it's more hilarious than it is shocking. I couldn't tell if they were shoving things up his ass or fucking him. They dump him somewhere Satan worshippers live. Chief Stew becomes enamored. He is rescued. The deck is revolting against second in command. The captain is away. They do not rescue strangers unless master commands it. Bobby becomes immobilized because his ass hurt. Really, immobilized? He found time for flat on your back sex, though. The captain returns unexpectedly and all hell breaks loose. It doesn't develop triumph or backbone until the very end. It's laughable, langorous and unforgettable. 31-Oct-2022

Tags: 1970s, Accidental Watch, Daddy Squish, Director Insanity, Drama, Funny, Good Idea, Horror, Hot Swatch, Preposterous, Rapey, Sad Effects, Silly, Timid, Trashy, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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31-Oct-2022


We Can Be Heroes (2020) Bites

It's a kid's film. There are kids in it. It looks like candy. It's stupid. You mean brilliant stupid? No I mean silly stupid. 29-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Art Devoid, Baby Wrecks, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Coincidence Laden, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Corn, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Director Insanity, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fatigue, Grating, Over the Top, Political Satire, Preposterous, Revenge, Sad Effects, SciFi, Shrill Act, Silly, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Weird, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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29-Dec-2020


Jaws 3 (1983) Bites

The fun stops here. 22-Jun-2020

Tags: 1980s, Action, Art Devoid, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Drama, Eye Gouge, Fantasy, Horror, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Over the Top, Preposterous, Sad Effects, Scare Obvious, Sequel, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Timid, Wit Crack

Filed under: Movies

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22-Jun-2020


Attack Of The Fifty Foot Woman (1958) Arf

Frantic housewife contracts gigantism whilst anguishing about her husband's sexual fluidity. It's a feminist turn that unite the men against her. The Efx burn due to age but also because the star "hand" was atrocious and the giants were transparent sometimes and not others. I rather they hadn't. A man will allow a woman to have big ideas as long as they don't go to her head. 12-Apr-2020

Tags: 1950s, Action, Camp, Crapfun, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Horror, Loud, Macho Posing, Over the Top, Political Satire, Preposterous, Revenge, Sad Effects, SciFi, Shrill Act, Tacky, Vague, Weird, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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12-Apr-2020


Isle, The (2018) Arf

A spanking ghost story with no presence and sensuality to back it up. 20-Feb-2020

Tags: 2010s, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Drama, Mystery, Sad Effects, Scare Obvious, Timid, Unenthusiastic, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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20-Feb-2020


Supergirl (1984) No MoonsEarly Exit

It thought Three Stooges hilarity could save it. Helen Slater, her costume and her hair legitimizes it and Bochner doesn't hurt but everything else is bargain basement. I quit it because I didn't feel like falling asleep for a third time. Nobody cared. 12-Oct-2019

Tags: 1980s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director Slouch, Ear Prick, Early Exit, False Action, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Manipulation, Oncer, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Sad Effects, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Tedium, Timid, TV-like, Unfunny, Writer Humiliation

Filed under: Movies

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12-Oct-2019


Cannibal Women In The Avocado Jungle of Death (1989) Bites

The politic of the feminist necessitates eating men. Shannon could (act,) Bill squeaked and Adrienne shouldn't have. 12-Oct-2019

Tags: 1980s, Accidental Watch, Art Devoid, Camp, Comedy, Funny, Sort of, Inappropriate, Over the Top, Political Satire, Preposterous, Sad Effects, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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12-Oct-2019


Head Count (2018) Whimper

The scares were piling up until the shit monster showed up. 27-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Fatigue, Horror, Mystery, Over the Top, Sad Effects, Silly, Suspense

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

27-Sep-2019


Justice League (2017) Bites

It will continue to embarrass for as long as production is allowed to churn arid cornpop. They can't orchestrate a thrilling action sequence, the costumes don't befit a hero and it certainly doesn't flatter the artists (everyone clunks around) and the villain seems extracted from an outdated RPG. Cavill wakes up to serve us what's left of the Superman character and Amy Adams and Diane Lane are the only Amazons. Most of the artists left their joy elsewhere.

It needs to look at its animation for inspiration. 14-May-2018

Tags: 2010s, Art Devoid, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Comic Book, Corn, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Inactivity, Indecipherable, Loud, Macho Posing, Oncer, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Sad Effects, Silly, Tacky, Ugly Art

Filed under: Movies

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14-May-2018


Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997) Whimper

Party City Live. 23-Apr-2018

Tags: 1990s, Action, Animation, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Comic Book, Corn, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Loud, Over the Top, Repetitive, Sad Effects, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Ugly Art, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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23-Apr-2018


Colossal (2016) Whimper

We've bullied and judged Anne Hathaway so harshly that she is no longer capable of supplying a character with natural ticks. Even when her character begs to be petulant, her need to be liked overwhelms. The only way she can surprise us is by inhabiting the soul "the haters" hashtagged her with and let it all go. The support also reciprocates badly.

This soup is a melange of original ideas executed by a crew that didn't understand them and a writer who sabotaged it.

This is a movie for a future audience to find. 03-Dec-2017

Tags: 2010s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Comic Book, Conspiracy Theory, Director's Slice, Disappointment, Drama, False Action, Fatigue, Mean Spirited, Oncer, Over the Top, Preposterous, Sad Effects, SciFi, Tacky, Twisty, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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03-Dec-2017


Wonder Woman (2017) Whimper

I was ready to celebrate everything the Wonder Woman mythology entrenches but I can only laud the idea because the interpretation curtails the triumph.

Themyscira flounders the hardest because accomplished actresses are burdened with harsh and awkward accents to help explain the heroine's dialect. They may be mentally strong women but they can't persuade us they have physical strength. If they really wanted to represent Amazon girl power, challenge actresses who have inhabited physical dynamism and give the fans a rise. Lucy Lawless, Sarah Michelle Geller, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Garner, etc. are waiting in line to be acknowledged and honored.

Gal Gadot was declared Wonder Woman but we don't get to witness her growth or empowerment.

Pine's Steve Trevor undermines Diana by trumpeting himself as an extraordinary alpha that is solely qualified to subdue such a forceful heroine. The writers should have noted that she gives the man the strength as soon as she prefers him. With this role Pine finally fulfills the culmination that is William Shatner.

The weenie foe does nothing to elevate Diana's heroism.

The music manipulates our emotions, the stunts are self-aware, the FX are ponderous and the direction fails to catapult.

I want a Wonder Woman that's not ashamed of her power, that wears the colors of our flag boldly and who shouts for women but fights for everyone.

 08-Oct-2017

Tags: 2010s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Director's Slice, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Manipulation, Oncer, Over the Top, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Sad Effects, Sap, Silly, Tacky, Tedium, Ugly Art

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

08-Oct-2017


Big Cube, The (1969) Bites

60s Hollywood had the capacity to disrespect legends by coasting on their names, making them kneel for a crap script and humiliating them to the point that we can't remember why we deified them.

Chakiris was definitely vibing to his master manipulator but I don't want to remember Lana like this. 01-Oct-2017

Tags: 1960s, Art Devoid, Brutal, Camp, Corn, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, False Action, Funny, Gay Swatch, Horror, Hot Swatch, Inappropriate, Over the Top, Political Satire, Preachy, Preposterous, Repetitive, Revenge, Romance, Sad Effects, Sentimental, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Suspense, Tacky, Weird

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

01-Oct-2017




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