Movies Posts Tagged as 'Sad Effects'
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Satan's Children (1975)
It's so low budget that it couldn't even afford to be one of Bobby Brady's (Brady Bunch) teenage dreams. A smooth twink rebels against his argumentative father and insistently horny sister. He travels into Wonderland with pot in his pocket and a party hang out mentality with anyone except queers. He gets gang raped by a bunch of straight men who cripple him and not. There is a rape scene but it's more hilarious than it is shocking. I couldn't tell if they were shoving things up his ass or fucking him. They dump him somewhere Satan worshippers live. Chief Stew becomes enamored. He is rescued. The deck is revolting against second in command. The captain is away. They do not rescue strangers unless master commands it. Bobby becomes immobilized because his ass hurt. Really, immobilized? He found time for flat on your back sex, though. The captain returns unexpectedly and all hell breaks loose. It doesn't develop triumph or backbone until the very end. It's laughable, langorous and unforgettable. 31-Oct-2022
We Can Be Heroes (2020)
It's a kid's film. There are kids in it. It looks like candy. It's stupid. You mean brilliant stupid? No I mean silly stupid. 29-Dec-2020
Jaws 3 (1983)
The fun stops here. 22-Jun-2020
Attack Of The Fifty Foot Woman (1958)
Frantic housewife contracts gigantism whilst anguishing about her husband's sexual fluidity. It's a feminist turn that unite the men against her. The Efx burn due to age but also because the star "hand" was atrocious and the giants were transparent sometimes and not others. I rather they hadn't. A man will allow a woman to have big ideas as long as they don't go to her head. 12-Apr-2020
Isle, The (2018)
A spanking ghost story with no presence and sensuality to back it up. 20-Feb-2020
It thought Three Stooges hilarity could save it. Helen Slater, her costume and her hair legitimizes it and Bochner doesn't hurt but everything else is bargain basement. I quit it because I didn't feel like falling asleep for a third time. Nobody cared. 12-Oct-2019
Cannibal Women In The Avocado Jungle of Death (1989)
The politic of the feminist necessitates eating men. Shannon could (act,) Bill squeaked and Adrienne shouldn't have. 12-Oct-2019
Head Count (2018)
The scares were piling up until the shit monster showed up. 27-Sep-2019
Justice League (2017)
It will continue to embarrass for as long as production is allowed to churn arid cornpop. They can't orchestrate a thrilling action sequence, the costumes don't befit a hero and it certainly doesn't flatter the artists (everyone clunks around) and the villain seems extracted from an outdated RPG. Cavill wakes up to serve us what's left of the Superman character and Amy Adams and Diane Lane are the only Amazons. Most of the artists left their joy elsewhere.
It needs to look at its animation for inspiration. 14-May-2018
Turbo: A Power Rangers Movie (1997)
Party City Live. 23-Apr-2018
We've bullied and judged Anne Hathaway so harshly that she is no longer capable of supplying a character with natural ticks. Even when her character begs to be petulant, her need to be liked overwhelms. The only way she can surprise us is by inhabiting the soul "the haters" hashtagged her with and let it all go. The support also reciprocates badly.
This soup is a melange of original ideas executed by a crew that didn't understand them and a writer who sabotaged it.
This is a movie for a future audience to find. 03-Dec-2017
Wonder Woman (2017)
I was ready to celebrate everything the Wonder Woman mythology entrenches but I can only laud the idea because the interpretation curtails the triumph.
Themyscira flounders the hardest because accomplished actresses are burdened with harsh and awkward accents to help explain the heroine's dialect. They may be mentally strong women but they can't persuade us they have physical strength. If they really wanted to represent Amazon girl power, challenge actresses who have inhabited physical dynamism and give the fans a rise. Lucy Lawless, Sarah Michelle Geller, Jessica Alba, Jennifer Garner, etc. are waiting in line to be acknowledged and honored.
Gal Gadot was declared Wonder Woman but we don't get to witness her growth or empowerment.
Pine's Steve Trevor undermines Diana by trumpeting himself as an extraordinary alpha that is solely qualified to subdue such a forceful heroine. The writers should have noted that she gives the man the strength as soon as she prefers him. With this role Pine finally fulfills the culmination that is William Shatner.
The weenie foe does nothing to elevate Diana's heroism.
The music manipulates our emotions, the stunts are self-aware, the FX are ponderous and the direction fails to catapult.
I want a Wonder Woman that's not ashamed of her power, that wears the colors of our flag boldly and who shouts for women but fights for everyone.
Big Cube, The (1969)
60s Hollywood had the capacity to disrespect legends by coasting on their names, making them kneel for a crap script and humiliating them to the point that we can't remember why we deified them.
Chakiris was definitely vibing to his master manipulator but I don't want to remember Lana like this. 01-Oct-2017
Star Wars: Rogue One (2016)
I was ready to geek out at this stand-alone side quest but besides Vader and space action sequences at end, there isn't much to delight. The music foretells how we should feel before the action unfolds. The director and editor do not serve the stuntwork which is shown in its raw state where we see them react and fall before a hit. The actors appear glum and forfeited. No hero steps up and no cheers result. The CGI that arises the dead creeps instead of inspires and the independent budget doesn't accelerate its art, it trashes it. 18-Jul-2017
Wicked Within, The (2015)
It's incredulous that they splatter the screen with every horror cliche at their disposal but not get a rise on my skin hair or a jump on my nerves. 13-Jun-2017