Movies Posts Tagged as 'Twinkie'
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Someone thought that realizing one of the most horrifying fairy tales to live film was a whimsical idea. The director wastes little time on magic and spends most of it on ugliness. He realized all the threats in a boy's life and all the insanity of the myth. A boy that really isn't a boy is considered a genderless fuck opportunity. Pedos prefer gender non-specific children because it's the baby smell they're after. Pinocchio is the perfect victim. Unique, beautiful, stupid, excited, rebellious and cooperative. The puppet gets enslaved, murdered, robbed, betrayed, hated, abused and exploited. Pinocchio cannot become a boy because his ADD doesn't allow him to sit still long enough to accept love and he's kind of an asshole. I'd be an asshole too if I were created to give hugs and tickles to ugly men. Oops, I was! The director rushes through plot points and changes nothing to make the ordeal acceptable. Why does wood eat? Why doesn't he rust or flake? What is the fairy's deal? His growing nose is a hard-on, not a lie. Jiminy Cricket sucked. It's a horror movie. Becoming a boy only grants him a hole. The world around him still sucks. 29-Dec-2021
He's All That (201)
Pleasant nothingness of youth. 06-Oct-2021
Careless Years, The (1957)
What are the lengths an untouched teen queen and a rebel rouser go to have sex without guilt? Get married? The parents are as excited of their proposal as invited homophobic family members are to go to a gay wedding. The movie/man obsesses whether they should have sex anyway since they're going to be together forever. The angst of a girl clinging to a specialty that means nothing to the man she's giving it to, is ridiculous. Just have it, already! Sex is just another addiction in life, like pooping. It was interesting to watch a baby Dean Stockwell preen like James Dean and Barbara Billingsley do the mama thing she does so well but the movie is about nothing. 13-Jun-2021
Swiss Family Robinson (1960)
Swiss family travel the high seas to claim new land and eco-trash it. Pirates attack their ship as they sleep, all the passengers jump to safety and nobody bothers to awaken them. Were they not liked? They were probably snooty. TG they left an animal farm, nails and enough ammo to kill an army. Shipwrecked. The Ewoks would have barked at the unrealism of the family tree palace but it's fun Disney magic. As they settle into tranquility the parents ponder the future of their three sons. The boys would inherit nothing without women to love lest they do the animals or worst, each other. A trans boy makes it onto the island and Cain and Abel are awakened to some sexual clarity. It's preposterously gorgeous, impossible, animalistic, adventurous, violent and joyous. 28-Feb-2021
Hot Summer Nights (2017)
If you want to see the privilege slapped and punched out of Timothee Chalamet this is the film for you. Tight and punishing. 12-Jan-2021
Christmas Project, The (2016)
The adventures of future supremacists as they waft through their own battlefield of family traditions and alpha bullying. The parents are ditzoids driving their children to partake of a Christmas tradition called Elving. You leave presents on the doorsteps of needy/hopeless families everyday until Christmas. The town bullies are on the roster this year. The tween female interest cements hardons and impels macho competitions. She looks 20 while the boys look 8. Reality rarely sneaks in and there is no character to get attached to. I pictured future supremacist twink getting married in prison to his alpha bully supreme as he forever pays black fit homeless grand daddies with raspy voices for some sugar. The kindly school bus driver was black. 25-Dec-2020
Stephanie is the child that's always in your face that you ignore. Her parents abandoned her to live in isolation during an unknown pandemic and to deal with a monster roaming about. Daddy Frank Grillo and mama Anna Torv were defined as shitty parents so everything they did was spotty and disenfranchised. Shree Crooks discharged unsettling reality to her child. The twist curls into a pretzel, a bone breaking finale poured some salt on it but the whole was artificial cheese dip. 13-Aug-2020
Power Rangers (2017)
Adding angst and brood to the kid franchise is choking. The teens have troublesome history and are enrapt in familial and environmental chains. Gaining the power of a god will rehabilitate them. Lead boy steals Zac Efron's eyes, Bryan Cranston is imprisoned on a wall when daddy's veracity is letting loose and the most interesting thing Rita (the villain) did was eat a donut. Destruction is a friend but sap is not. 31-Jul-2020
River's Edge (1986)
Friendships are unrealized when a mate kills one.
The kids react like chained animals. They're curious, they don't really feel anything but they know it's wrong.
The parents have stopped pretending. The miraculous is a teenager too complicated to bear. The kids may be exploring and exploding in their new life but the parents are just holding on to any kind of life. The parents share their drugs, problems, violence and sexuality. They absolve the kids' of choices they socially incur and never check out what they are.
Crispin Glover was a high that had me swaying all kinds of ways. Good and awful.
Keanu waved his hair back and forth like an urchin destined for greater things.
When the writing goes over, truth reins it in.
The musical score kept the story breathing.
The director pinpointed everything we needed to see and hear. Its aroma was DePalma.
The final analysis for murder is realistic and unjustifiably hard.
Being one of the most sensitive beings in the world does not always grant empathy.
Snitches get laid. (It's a tongue thing.) 25-Jun-2020
We The Animals (2018)
Neglectful, abusive parenting and the unruly children it creates. Papi squishes to no avail and mama ponders daddy dick so mightily that she relegates the boys to tools of diversion. The boys are cold specimens meandering the world fantasizing in it or fucking with it because they have no life skills. In the end, we are supposed to celebrate a sexual awakening that smells of molestation. I'm not good with that. 26-Apr-2020
Killing Of A Sacred Dear, The (2017)
Doctor feels responsible for causing the death of a teenage boys' father. He befriends him and his mother and integrates him into his own. The boy is a psychotic Jesus whose God has been bested by a doctor playing at God. Colin Farrell adds beautiful whisper to his lilt, calming us, confusing us and surprising us. Barry Keoghan is a vengeful prince ravaging the establishment and scary as fuck. Alicia Silverstone sucks good hands. Raffey Cassidy and Sunny Sulgic supply the perfect endorsement for burdening yourself with care one minute and smacks, the other. Nic holds it tight for the first hour, being logical and abiding but by the last hour she's tongue lashing and bitch slapping her character to heaven. Yorgos Lanthimos kept it artistic, chillingly precise, musically gripped and the giant balls to give us an OMG ending. 18-Mar-2020
Daddy teach gets a woody when student overachiever dominates his classroom and his life with his reach for intellectual excellence. Dylan Sprouse objectifies exemption, corruption and the high holiness of shit. It's unfortunate that his psychology is not well drawn. Daddy does not squish sufficiently to lend credence to certain plot points but Dylan's penance almost makes up for that. 03-Mar-2020
Wound, The (2017)
Honoring male privilege while contesting the rules. The gay is treated as a natural conjecture that doesn't adhere to God's Plan but satiates a hungry soul. The men push God's Plan, diddle each other whenever possible and don't allow snot nosed effete city boys to put a label on it. The ending spells it out. 21-Jan-2020
Boy's mental health shatters when he discovers that his girl hiccups for all the boys. Keir Gilchrist was prepared to inhabit what Tony Perkins stamped but the writers were too intent on keeping it romantic. 29-Nov-2019
Spider-Man: Far From Home (2019)
It brings enough childhood comic book thrills to life to score. Jake is best when he's romancing and fighting Peter Parker. The Spidey suit fashion show vibrated, Holland owns it and Zendaya purrs it. 09-Nov-2019