Movies Posts Tagged as 'Tedium'
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Menu, The (2022)
The menu didn't serve enough choices and didn't take advantage of it's clientele. Face actor Fiennes was ready to do some really mean things but he ended up depraved and soulless. What makes foodies offensive is not their meal choices but their business dealings? Hong Chau creeped out and overcame ick material. Nicholas Hoult didn't get a chance to swing. Taylor-Joy gave good face but subtle depth. Was John Leguizamo the only latin pimp with taste buds they could think of? He doesn't belong. The horror element is copied from a better script's cliff notes. The actors did not do like Lucy and make us believe they were eating that shit. Hardly anybody ate. Didn't get it, didn't care because I eat to survive. 22-Jan-2023
Matilda: The Musical (2022)
It's even worst with headphones. Who can fall asleep with all that racket? 30-Dec-2022
As soon as the music tried recalibrating my ears, I booked. 29-Dec-2022
My Policeman (2022)
A very soft policeman. Harry Styles keeps it monotone and unenthusiastic. He pants oddly during blowjobs and he can't kiss for shit. His "s's" and "t's" were so crisp that I thought his accent was fake. I wanted to shake him. I came in the first few minutes and never got a hardon again. I felt like leaving so many times but felt obligated to stay. We prefer to talk about our olden times instead of setting a better path with a real story from today. We can be honest about the past without it burning us in the present. The laws have changed but we have not. It's 50s Britain, where cops live in Tarduses, aging twinks can become cops, twink cops get picked up by perverts and an innocent girl trashes her entire life so her husband and their bff can enjoy gay sex. Emotions run cold. Everything is so quiet and unassuming that you sometimes believe one of the lovers might be serial. P.S.: gays are only miserable at the end of their lives, all else is just fun. 05-Nov-2022
Lost Daughter, The (2021)
A Karen gets flashbacks of her maternal discord and cheating ways when she spots a young Karen with the same problems while vacationing. The whole shebang is weird and nonsensical. Maggie Gyllenhaal's direction made me dislike Olivia Colman's acting method. I love Olivia Colman. Don't show me Olivia Colman's acting method, show me her acting. Director did not appreciate the beautiful creature Lady Colman is. 03-Jan-2022
Power Of The Dog, The (2021)
There is no dog in sight. Teen with effeminate ways grabs the attention of the town bully and gets a crush on him. Son is subjected to alpha humiliation that gives him a hard-on which makes mother heartbroken yet keeps boy obsessed with tempting the savage. She marries the bully's brother and moves into the bully's home where he finishes her son off. Cumberbatch has no idea what a cowboy is. He jangles and jingles with exaggerated sounds of the west and comical highwaters but only his butt stood out. His pronunciation of "fatso" held no effect because he didn't know what the fuck it was. It's not a fact, it's a genial insult. His slow drawl compensates for an accent with no attachment to history. He is miscast because the safety of the participants prevails great art. No one is going to take a chance on a toxic male presence for reality's sake. Rick from The Walking Dead would have made a savage cowboy. Jane Campion is obsessed with certain keys of the piano and noises that no one else finds comforting. Kirsten Dunst would have given an award worthy performance if someone had written her one. Her character is scattered and listless. Hiring a tall boy doesn't diminish the film going Brokeback with a child. The film may not consummate it but we're not stupid. Jane Campion spends so much time lingering that the thought is lost. 06-Dec-2021
Iron Mistress, The (1952)
The mistress is a knife. Men are constantly dueling, women are constantly conquering. The woman is torn between great sex or better fashion. The love obsession keeps fumbling her preference. Her main preference keeps dueling and killing to break her iron will. Iron doesn't break as easily as a blade bends. The black experience is joyous, the thoughts are candy flavored and the premise is pristine, repetitive and dull. 30-Sep-2021
Saint Maud (2019)
An analogy of a woman that must reach the lower depths of hell/sex in order to achieve sainthood is only a thought. The film presents predictably with scares overwhelming thoughts. Writing creates a psychotic brain made of incomplete truths. The savior is full of god cum and icky vibes. She's a frustrated cis, wet by girl action. The saved is full of lesbian venom and privileged wit. 02-Aug-2021
Star Wars: The Phantom Menace (1999)
I went retro and revisited some films that weren't to my liking. If it weren't for Lucas magic this film would be one of the worst. The child. Poor thing. No training, no soul. I would have skipped to the Superboy years one second after the awesome pod race. Liam Neeson didn't seem taken by the force. The words meant nothing to him. It was a job. MacGregor's head moved stiffly and he looked like he cracked up before and after many line readings. Jar Jar Binks was created by party people with no exceeding limits. I watched him drunk and still found him annoying. Natalie Portman must have looked blankly at countless fake CGI things because she applied it to humans as well. The voice she inflected was cockamamie and infectious. Yoda isn't as cute as The Child. At all. Blathering old idiot. Robes don't flow in saber fights and future love relations are not impactful if one babysat the other. The director worked beyond the force. The fans publicly cheered while quietly sighing. Darth Maul was a pocket. It makes a good game but not a good film. 02-Feb-2021
Last Ferry (2019)
I didn't wait, I swam back. As soon as I heard gay clones spouting the word "thirsty," I was out. 03-Sep-2020
Fullmetal Alchemist (2018)
A boy and his brother surrender parts of themselves while trying to resurrect their mother through alchemy. A journey ensues to find a philosopher's stone that will return their bodies and relax their souls. The animated series was a dark tragedy with kiddie undertones, celebrating science and magic shows, stupendous mutants with biblical powers, military strategies and coos, cliffhangers and curves while pulling the heartstrings. The introduction is action best, the characters and the costumes click the memory banks but its empathy blubber is unforgivable. 26-Aug-2020
Terminator: Dark Fate (2019)
Runny episode in the Terminator franchise. There is no verve in watching women do what they never do in real life. ("If I see another Karen dropkick another neighbor, I'll lose my shit.") It has all the ingredients of the best ones with none of its simmer, smarts or pot of humor. Young Arnold impressed but his Terminator mythology was destroyed. The cute brother should have played the Terminator. Sarah Connor is a show off. It talks, it fights, it conquers...story continued on Jane The Virgin. 21-Aug-2020
Take Her, She's Mine (1963)
A child belongs to a parent for a little bit.
Daddy awakens to his daughter's "dishiness." Daughter has developed into virgin teen spirit bait. Sandra Dee tranquilizes, applying liberation, sexual frustration and obligation. She's the future princess men built castles for.
Daddy goes commando when she moves to college. Stating in a letter about feeling the fanny flutters and wanting to lose her virginity, daddy flies to her on demand, insinuates her roomies are "wetbedders" because they work late, upholds his politics, acquaints with international sex workers, runs naked and suffers from morality checks. He ignores his job, his wife and that other child. He was never a pervert...because he was Jimmy "fuckin'" Stewart.
Mr. Stewart opens his mind to new thinking and growing with the politics of sexual freedom, free speech and protest. When the camera and his technique meet, they click.
College is where politics are worn and sex explodes. The environment consisted of an army of wolves scratching and starving to eat some Red Riding Hood.
Audrey Meadows. She was so underutilized that I imagined her doing naughty things like fucking his best friend or renting other daughter out.
The music and esp. the songs, delighted with universal sounds. It borrowed from other cultures and uniquely respected them. I knew the songs and sang along because I was taught them at school. It helped me learn about a culture that I had yet to meet. It soothes the greeting.
Stewart dons the big guns for final agitation but silly chaos dilutes him. Can he stop a man from putting his daughter's flame out or return to the wife and that other sparkly one? Only another man can answer that. 30-Jul-2020
Old Guard, The (2020)
PC vampires arrive in woke world. They no longer bite but still have the ability to suck.
Charlize Theron squelches her sexuality to deliver macho posturing and adds no strength to female action fabulosity. A woman who obscures her sexuality is depriving the act of confidence and beauty. She was so serious and miserable.
The gays were cute for the moments they accessorized but the corn deep throated them.
The superpowers are not enviable and is a filmic excuse to watch people bleed out.
The "big bads" couldn't scare a bird away.
The story is refried beans with lesser ingredients and the action came straight out the can. 14-Jul-2020
Goldfinch, The (2019)
Boy suffers the loss of his mom, who dies in an explosion, but gains a piece of priceless art. Sarah Paulson has a moment as a bimbo and Nic adds an elegant presence to an adoptive mom but the characters have no foundation for any actor to stem from. The boy, in particular, acts as the scene needs, not as his character would. Ansel achieves a spark because he's trying to understand it as much as we are. It's a hard sell because the mystery doesn't amount to a life altering choice, it just is. A sweet sentiment with absolutely no sugar. 26-May-2020
Sunday Bloody Sunday (1971)
Stagnant study, of a woman and a man sharing a relationship with a twinkster. The rules are the same no matter the generation or the politic. The bird marches on the streets of beauty, protesting the disparity of life while ignoring the feelings of those around him. His fluidity grants him power to cross pollinate and be voraciously welcomed by those of privilege whose lack in life is progressive. To the woman he brings sexual fulfillment and purpose, to the man, a sense of accomplishment and pride. Youth ping pongs between them like the parents he needs right now, not the lovers he'll end up with, later. Birds must fly as parents must contend with surviving on memories. Children and family are an aside that contain the most life. The children annoy as much as delight, smoking drugs, having fits, asking complicated questions, noticing sexual things and killing dogs. 06-May-2020