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All Posts Tagged as 'Suspense'

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Awake (2021) Woof

The world is coming to an end, no one can sleep and everyone is going nuts from sleep deprivation. Gina Rodriguez is a mother of two, whose daughter can sleep and a teenage son who can't. Everyone wants the daughter and prisoners want to fuck her son. Gina has tough girl stance and the motherly instinct to protect her babies. The reason for the power outage (technical and physical) is insufficient, some of the action sequences thrilled, the ending knocked but it also confounded. Its popcorn. Who cares? I love seeing Gina get mad. 11-Jun-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Director Movement, Drama, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Over the Top, SciFi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Wit Crack, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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11-Jun-2021


Ten Little Indians (1965) Arf

10 influencers are united in a snow piled chateau. The invite comes from a madman that wants to cancel them. The mystery's psychological reasoning is based on a demented individual's power grab to replace God and punish the unrighteous. But, they're so pretty and knowledgeable. Fabian smears his loveliness on the lens but is too uptight to relax and be cool. Daliah Lavi's exaggerated mane turned her into a cold stereotypical Hollywood starlet. Hugh O'Brian looked even better with his shirt off. Marianne Hoppe seemed hopped on something as the scared German maid. Was she supposed to be ridiculous? Gay old codgers know everything. It's a cheap attempt to intrigue us with outdated characters from a board game. 10-Jun-2021

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Action, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Relationships, Scare Obvious, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stink Wigs, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Tacky, Timid, Trashy, Wit Crack, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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10-Jun-2021


Mope (2019)  Woof

Black and asian youngsters form an unlikely bond during a bukkake video performance. Black man can't climax until the soft whispers of an asian stranger help him out. Voila. Friends forever that will reach the heights of success by becoming the Jackie Chan and Chris Tucker of porn. Mope Tucker and Mope Chan are not impressive beings, they both have little dicks, are victims of whiteness (they don't know how to act black or asian) and they slurp while eating vagina. They can, however, take a swift kick to the balls, eat shit, drink piss and wipe it from the floor. A mope. Tucker wants to expand the brand and put them on display. "The first men on the cover of a porn box." Nathan Stewart expends every last nerve as a man clinging to the last piece of matter that keeps him grounded to an environment that isn't homeless. These parasites keep him sane and fucking. The boys with grand dreams become Steve Driver and Tom Dong. The friendship suffers from favoritism, jealousy and betrayal. Gangbanging the girlfriend tore a nerve, racist remarks cracked a spot, and the cameos hit their marks. It's cheapness adds to its' value. It smells like porn, your feet stick to the floor and the prettiest thing in the room is the popcorn machine. It's a true cis story that would translate well as a gay "great American novel." The guy incinerated from Bridgerton could play the smelly gay guy. 05-Jun-2021

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Good Acting, Mystery, Suspense, Tacky, Tough, Trashy, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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05-Jun-2021


Birth (2004) Woof

Ten years have passed since her husband's death. The widow has moved on and is celebrating her engagement to a new beau when it's disrupted by an unnerving 10 year old who shows up and claims he is the spirit of her dead husband. His presence causes family uproar as they try to unmask a poverty-stricken child in love with Lady Nic that claims she shouldn't re-marry. The boy's unflinching demeanor is squirmy as Nic's is artistic. The director shot a continuous pan of Lady Nic giving beautiful stoic face but didn't clinch it with an ironic exclamation. He tried the same trick with the boy on the bench but the boy couldn't sit still. Lauren Bacall established herself. Danny Huston spoke for everyone as the jinxed and insecure groom who wanted to bash "returned husband's" brains out. Lady Nic doesn't unfurl until the end but it's strong. When Anne Heche blew up she exploded fantastically. If someone claims to be a lost loved one, you have to listen, even if it's ludicrous. 03-Jun-2021

Tags: 2000s, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Elegance, Funny, Sort of, Music Swings, Mystery, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Subtle, Suspense, Sweet, Tough, Twisty, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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03-Jun-2021


A Perfect Murder (1998) Woof

A perfect cast to incorporate it. Viggo Moretensen of perfect hunkdom and cracked beauty played the lover. He seduced and slithered the pants off of Michael Douglas, Gwyneth Paltrow and the audience. I loved it when Michael pulled Viggo's hair. SAF. Someone is having an affair, someone is being betrayed and someone has to die. Lady Goop has fairy essence conjuring ways for us to be comfortable in her diabolical surroundings. Dude, she spoke two languages without an accent and ate pot roast. WTF. She's an alien. Yeah, I'm onboard. Daddy Douglas has gone to battle with a woman before. I presume he's won some. He relished it. It's fun, elegant crime trash done to aplomb and it beats wasting $30.00 on people uglier than me. 02-Jun-2021

Tags: 1990s, Camp, Chemistry, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Elegance, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Relationships, Suspense, Thriller, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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02-Jun-2021


Mare Of Easttown (2021-) Woof

The characters were overloaded with ache, the crime mystery was one coil after another, the actors wrung the shit out of drama but the whole was too "by the book" to matter. I'm old, I've seen this shit before. 31-May-2021
S1E3. It's not a dead horse crime investigation like I thought. Lone cop is overwhelmed by the demands of her town, her family and friends. It takes a stranger to make her realize that she's more than a badge. Guy Pearce is her release and her guilt. A teen has disappeared while another has died. Per the Hollywood bible, actresses must downplay beauty and uplift macho toxicity in their stride to assimilate toughness. Kate Winslet is a savior of intelligence not might. Her macho is uncomfortable because it doesn't feel genuine. The ferocity of a female always shines through. Let it. Aren't lady heroes supposed to bring balance? There are all types of lady cops in the world but Hollywood keeps choosing the profile of a lesbian that is not a lesbian. Evan Peters is adorable. The teens are realistic in a snot nosed kind of way. Jean Smart is my Endora. 29-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Drama, Gay, Good Acting, Overcooked, Psychological, Relationships, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Twinkie, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: TV

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31-May-2021


Devil-Doll, The (1936) Woof

Escaped prisoner hitches with a dying scientist who wants to make it home so he can shrink people with his wife and change the world. The protagonist just wants to avenge the men who set him up and gain his daughter's respect. The escapees make it to the wife's cottage. A frightfully wonderful Rafaela Ottiano plays the faithful wife who has maintained his experiments and awaited his arrival. They want to shrink people so they can consume less and help the environment. It starts with dogs, jumps to lowly humans and precipitates into people you want canceled. Lionel Barrymore is top notch as the set-up guy lucking into revenge. The dolls have brilliant moments and shoddy ones. The dolls are a cameo to the story of a man that has to become a woman to safeguard his family and prove his innocence. 24-May-2021

Tags: 1930s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Achievement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Horror, Mystery, Relationships, Revenge, Scary, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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24-May-2021


Cold Creek Manor (2003) Arf

City whites decide to move out of the city after their son's expensive shoes get scratched in the city. They are afforded an estate at a very low price that belonged to an ex prison crusader on a warpath with whomever moves in. Sharon Stone is onboard to bore us doing motherly stuff as an affordable VP. Daddy Quaid's anger doesn't generate enough sparks to make us care. Christopher Plummer was unrecognizable. Juliette Lewis made it ashore to tingle the plot and remind us Cape Fear did it better. Stephen Dorff was delicious smack as a bad boy affected by parental sexual freedom that you will eventually spit out and nothing more. Teen Kristen Stewart was at her best, hanging loose, upfront and appearing to hate only half the planet. The ending is as cruel as the wait. 16-May-2021

Tags: 2000s, Accidental Watch, Bad Chemistry, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Silly, Star Watt, Suspense, Thriller, Timid, Vague, Weird, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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16-May-2021


Housemaid, The (2010) Woof

Shuttered young woman accepts a job caring for a very well established family. Wife is made of plastic things and pregnant with twins. She believes her silent brute won't cheat on her because she's the perfect wife having miracle twins. "A man does not cheat on perfection." That is her motto and her curse. The eldest child is a delightful package. She is brave to say what's on her mind and sorry if it offends. A matriarch of servitude is the expert of the house, teaching the young woman how back breaking and useless it is making rich people happy. She is Mrs. Danvers, respectfully. Plotting, conniving, avenging, infiltrating and non-stop hurting to become like part of the family. Daddy is a self-absorbed god. Maid is a sexual magnet. An imperfect powerless naif to be completely his. The mother of the house is an awesome witch ready to set fire to anything that brings shame to their name. The scandal turns ingratiating maid into a hostile. The women cancel her for breaching family code... " you don't steal sperm from family gods that you are serving without asking the women first. Revenge is awesome. 10-May-2021

Tags: 2010s, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Elegance, Foreign, Funny, Sort of, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Relationships, Revenge, Romance, Scary, Sexy, Star Watt, Subtle, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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10-May-2021


A Bucket Of Blood (1959) Arf

It feels like an episode trashed by The Twilight Zone because of extreme creepiness. Mentally unwell busboy works at a grungy cafe that spits art on a loop. It's just high people babbling (poetic readings), white people jazzing and everybody judging. There was a rap essence, pre-ALF jazz, optional shaving, questionable sexuality, men wore beach sandals with suits and the hate was chill. Busboy daddy dreams of becoming one of these assholes. He doesn't know any better. Busboy accidentally stabs a cat in the wall and it lands near his bucket of clay. Voila! Instant art! He brings the hideous sculpture to the cafe and becomes a hit. Voila! Genius art! He is now an asshole. 10-May-2021

Tags: 1950s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Funny, Horror, Music Swings, Star Watt, Suspense, Tacky, Trashy, Weird, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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10-May-2021


Tenet (2020) Arf

Aaron Taylor-Johnson knew how to lead, Chadwick Boseman had no presence, Robert Pattinson had no rhythm and Christopher Nolan discovered the reverse button. The film was correct about one thing. If you fall asleep halfway through, you heal faster. 03-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Director Experiment, Disappointment, Drama, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Over the Top, SciFi, Silly, Star Watt, Suspense, Vague

Filed under: Movies

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03-May-2021


20,000 Leagues Under The Sea (1954) Woof

Captain Nemo moves about the ocean with his Bat-sub blowing up ships because society has betrayed him and his family. A sailor, a professor and his sarcastic assistant make it safely onboard the vessel and become hostages to an undersea rebellion. Professor wants to rehabilitate Nemo because his violent revenge is coming from a good place. The other two just want off. Douglas was Popeye smooth with tight musculature, Lukas sounded like he knew the answers and Lorre was droll fully funny. Mason is unrecognizable as the infamous captain, the seal was wonderful being daddy's little pet, the squid was magnificent, the suits were inventive and the Star Wars windows were fabulous. 01-May-2021

Tags: 1950s, Action, Action Fun, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Pretty, Revenge, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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01-May-2021


Temptation Island (2019-) Arf

The series encourages eating from the forbidden fruit so when the lovers reunite they can be put on trial. The prettiest boy in the world is a conniving robot with missing essential parts. That girl DID NOT sleep with him! (Cue the video.) Dude, start experimenting with your pink hole. Gay and porn will provide you with a home and some play money. Erika & Kendal. Daddy Walberg did not let Kendal out of his seat until his dick was deep fried. Chelsea & Thomas. Thomas sat quietly as Daddy Walberg paraded all the better options his girlfriend has but later went backstage and pulled his hair out. It was growing in well too. Kristen & Julian. As flat as the pages of a fairytale that will never see publishing. We don't read Shakespeare but we talk like this? In cliches? Of course, the cheater didn't cheat while on Temptation Island. He no like that kind of candy. 29-Apr-2021
It's been a downcast season. I still want to sit on Mark Walberg, tweek his teets, burn into his baby blues while he provides psychological therapy and I rock up and down. Chelsea & Thomas. He promised his hair treatments would grow real hair in an allotted set of time and failed. She met someone whose plugs are finished, can lift things and doesn't shed. Erica & Kendal. She can punish him however she wants. He thought the purpose of the show was to go on a Fantasy Island type honeymoon and shoot some porn. Awesome, right? Honey, the court will look the other way. Anything you want. Erin & Corey. The most beautiful boy in the world and man's most popular choice. You want to lick his faults like ice cream but he's a pendejo. Yeah, we'll lick a pendejo, but he aint going to taste like ice cream for very long. The show paid a sex worker to tell him that what his willy can't accomplish his pretty face can. Rah, rah, rah...only if he joins our team as a super bottom. Viva Mexico! Kristen & Julian. Fake and shriveled up. Tempters get no empathy. Someone asked them if they wanted to go on TV and destroy some relationships and they said yes. Homeless deviants! 22-Apr-2021
The temptation is mighty man boobs. 21-Jan-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accident Watch, Camp, Cooking, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Home Improvement, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Overcooked, Political, Predictable, Pretty, Romance, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tacky, Twisty, Unity, Us, Weird

Filed under: TV

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29-Apr-2021


Tenant, The (1976) Arf

An unassuming man moves into an apartment that drove a young woman to suicide. He visits the victim at the hospital (for foreign hospitality reasons and to maybe see her suffer?) and becomes obsessed with realizing her history. The neighbors find every reason to make him feel insignificant...he's too noisy, too weird, too private, too sexual and too mentally unwell. The director posted Rosemary's Baby with a shittier budget and himself in the lead. (We are to presume that some other schmuck directed it). The opportunity for a defamed man's self-reflection is a good opportunity for doctors to psychoanalyze him, wrangle the rest and let the people decide. Are the neighbors driving him nuts or was he already nuts? Why is he dressing like a girl? No, that's the girl that jumped out the window. Yes, he drags out and the film continues to crash into WTF Land as he spills nothing about himself except his obsession with precision ... the soft caresses, the whispers, his crippling distrust of socialization, the corners, the lighting, the orchestration, the genius, the illusion of knowing how a child feels and where the bad place ends. A whore is a child unsaved by him. (He aint smarter than his dick, though.) 23-Apr-2021

Tags: 1970s, Accidental Watch, Cultish, Director Experiment, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Horror, Mystery, Preposterous, Suspense, Thriller, Timid, Twisty, Weird, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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23-Apr-2021


Curse Of The Golden Flower, The (2006) Howl

Drop dead gorgeous. That's what I thought at the time I first saw it and its what I affirm now. I devoured and appreciated the crazy amount of artistic work that Zang's imagination and his crew realized. The story was simple and intoxicating. The empress is married to a punishing emperor obsessed with perfection, war and revenge. The empress is mother and stepmother to three boys who are next in line for the crown. Empress is in love with her stepson. He's grown up and doesn't want mama or to be emperor because he's in love with the servant daughter of the doctor that is helping the emperor to secretly poison the empress with enforced medicine. Daddy is back from battle hyped to finish his family war. Traditions are broken, inconsistancy becomes normal, traditions feel like enslavement and people are ready to revolt. Chow Yun-fat knows how to stomp his foot, wield a sword and kill a son. He's intimidating. Gong-Li is that unattainable thing that becomes easy prey once prized and possessed, thrusting her into a vengeful future because she is second in command. She serves gorgeous "Meryl Streep" face.

It's a slow burn to the battle sequences but they are worth it. Action was dressed, mapped and showcased exquisitively and the bloodbath was enervating. Men versus equally matched women with children by their side. Ouch. Amen. 22-Apr-2021

Tags: 2000s, Action, Action Fun, Beautiful, Best In Foreign, Big, Chemistry, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Elegance, Enthusiastic, Foreign, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Music Swings, Mystery, Political, Relationships, Revenge, Romance, Star Watt, Suspense, Thriller, Tough, Trashy, Twisty, Violent, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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22-Apr-2021




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