When Predator removes his cloak and mask, its cool. He is a Jamaican space bear with gadgets. A historical portrait of Native American life and how futurism disrupts it. It was clever establishing the unthinkable. Director kept it sturdy and crawling. The heroine was crafted with moxy, determination and brawn. It can proudly stand aside the first. 08-Aug-2022

It's an incomplete thought. A woman realizes her culture by being left behind to be parented by a rich white family. The interracial harmony was a plus. The actors didn't make calls to their agents after every scene. They were in it. The idea that the man you loved was lying about his parents and abandons you to their care is frightening. The atmosphere was established, the actors were prepared but the story didn't succumb to its repression. All was safe, all felt long and none of it felt warranted. I wanted to hear the screams of agony and the main fucking the shit out of that pretty butler to get the fuck out of there. That's what real people do. They don't waste time wondering. 20-Apr-2022

Kurosawa's imagining of Macbeth was intoxicating. He lingered until we felt the character's desperation. The background was still and intimidating. The actors wore silent film faces with impassioned speak. Toshiro Mifune was a beast royale as MacBeth. Isuzu Yamada was fabulously haunting as his Lady. The rustle of her dress, the scary predictions, the make-up and bouts of violent madness. She was a favorite thing. Deaths were choreographed with coherent math and geography. Inspiration is achieved but masterpiece recreation is impossible because the best things in it happened by accident. 28-Mar-2022

Oops. Laurie and Mike are not the brother and sister alluded to in Halloween 2. It was a myth and a modern waste of a great arc. 21-Mar-2022

Blindman wants to remain a dot, raising a stolen daughter, being stealthy and 100% sexless when it should be the opposite. Pervert! The child gets to choose the lesser of two evils. That's not fair. We get to know who the asshole is before the mystery begins. The clues to existence are ludicrous. Daddy's fun, kid has moments, all is a statement of life insecurity, terror and failure. The violence is pretty good. 12-Mar-2022

It makes you ponder things not worth a hill of beans because saying "hello" is not the same as "how are you?" They hired a mama and papa wrecker to be abused by a legend that is more of a stereotype than a mystery. The kids are nasty. I was highly insulted. 22-Feb-2022

The inestimable is the most hurtful. Brian Bonsall played Mikey, a throwaway child with trust, jealousy and psychotic issues. The actor had the smarts of an adult aware of its value. Everyone loves "new" adorable thing until it becomes codependent and angry. The conversations are the same as today, which freaked me out. "We're still talking about the same shit with the non-resolutions." Mikey is presented as an adoptive boy trying to adjust to a family that has suddenly enforced rules. They must die, the most inept investigators can't solve it and adorable little Mikey is psychoanalyzed for PTSD after secretly killing them. The psychiatrist frees him into the adoption system with an "all he needs is love" diagnosis and Mikey moves on to the next stupid family. Mikey has learned that electricity and water don't mix, you can hit real balls with bats, cops can't solve anything, mothers just stand there screaming while you're stabbing them to death and to remove the bullets from adult guns and disconnect their phones so they can't fight back. Empty guns waving in the dark. Elementary school sports training consisted of coaches deciding which boy would be a "skin" or a "shirt" for no apparent reason other than to be a pervert. Telling certain kids and not others to strip is insulting and absolutely gay. His favorite teacher becomes suspicious of the boy's monstrous tendencies when he adds marbles to her "marble game." A box is designated for the kids to drop marbles they earn for good deeds. The more marbles of goodness you inherit the quicker you can fill it so its doors burst open and you can receive a prize. She investigates his history but his adoption file is closed and the witnesses are minimal. There is no living thing that is safe when Mikey gets pissed. Will he spare no one? Kids dragging adult dead bodies, killing cats, feeding frogs to sharks, setting up the boyfriend and using a bow and arrow to kill are hilarious. Everything looks TV safe and appealing, the deaths are LOL and Bonsall keeps on giving. He is the conservative cunt that arises when successful families keep pushing the same subject without advancing. Mikey is the child liberated from bullshit. Baby boy is my new "Carrie."

PS: dudes, if she wants childrenx and you don't, show her this movie. Repeated viewing depends on her voracity for children and disdain for the film. Keep it downlow. We don't want to damage her. Keep it stealthily in the background and don't stop watching it. Make it a top ten of all time. Yeah, it's crap but its better than having a baby. 21-Feb-2022

Jack The Ripper is on the loose and living in "Our Town." He is compelled to kill because he can sense debauchery and orgasms from his female victims. He may be bunking with an actress and her left wing family. Aunt Bee from Mayberry is the "Karen" the town needs or she may be a nosey bitch. Jack Palance has the most muscular face in moviedom and is of great height. Whether he is or isn't is not the point of the film, are all actresses whores, is. 19-Feb-2022

Hordas are turning confused souls into killers. Hordas are hard to describe. They are ghostly, invisible, well-spoken, manipulating, manly and turn your eyes green before possessing you to avenge their thirst. Vincent Price is a magistrate trying to rehabilitate a killer Horda being legally beheaded because of incriminating evidence. The killer confesses to murder but not being himself. His eyes turn green and threatens a Horda curse. Price fights for his life and accidentally kills him. Price becomes distraught. Things at home are out of place and he's having Venom type conversations with a Horda that lost its home. Counseling convinces him to leave law and punishment and return to sculpting. His first love before his wife and child died. A married goldigger entices Mr. Price to model for him. The bitch that tried to steal Darrin Stephens from Samantha is the model. As soon as she sniffs how affordability can accommodate luxury, her panties wet faster than his clay and her "hot" "poor" husband becomes a blur. The green eye effect is hilarious. It's someone flashing a green light on the actor's eyes and being effective if they never move. They move. They're actors! It's a niche. Gay daddy clinches his part and makes us imagine the rest. "I imagined what kind of gay sex Mr. Price preferred. He definitely smoked like a bandit but I didn't smell much ass action." 16-Feb-2022

A wife/mother abandoned by hubby on Apache terrain staves off conflict when an Indian head takes a liking to her son. Apaches don't cry and revere baby boys as gifts. An ultimatum is issued. She must decide on an Indian for a husband or the Apaches will kidnap and raise her son. She keeps hoping her husband returns but the Apaches think he's dead. In struts John Wayne as a half Apache gunslinger that causes as much ruckus as he does saving. The best westerns contain wide landscapes, big hearts and simple writing. Society (Apaches) has the right to teach a boy to become a man for the benefit of his survival. Wayne is classic and Geraldine has the audacity to stand up for her son and protect their homestead. The kid is precious.

(If you want to be an asshole, you can count how many times the make-up runs off Apache legs or you can just enjoy a great story.) 26-Dec-2021

Alicia Silverstone's baby's breadth drives all the boys and men to ferocious perverted thoughts. The victim is mildly annoyed and unaware of how struck her admirers are. She ignores all sexual advances and treats them as man/boy quirks that only occur when no one is looking. The male fantasies are an intrusive director ploy but the sentiments are not. Girly is going to get fucked in the end, but by whom. It's half the town. 27-Nov-2021

Lesbian writer moves into a fully staffed mansion that quits once "The Bat" killer strikes town. Some of the pestilence Agnes Moorhead has to rid her mansion of is the Queen of Horror, Vincent Price. "The Bat" killer has only one claw. They couldn't afford a seamstress? Silly shenanigans aside, it's about a famous artist on the down low living a glorious life with her lover as her maid. Brilliant. That part. 02-Nov-2021

The witches are gnarly, devoid of characterization or abandon. It's a film made by a wizard that becomes only when love of family or magic is involved. Hathaway appeared willing to witch out but the accent and misdirection killed her. The kiddie adventure was neat as bonding with grandma was sweet. Cruelty gushed from the plight of the good. There's always a bigger animal ready to eat you. 02-Nov-2021

What "Aliens" is to "Alien." The opening was fraught with surprises and director pumps. The original actors settled into their characters and the new blended in nicely. If you watch and wish things were different, the film won't make much sense. If you watch it like you would a foundation being built, you might appreciate it. We need to shut up sometimes or die. 23-Oct-2021

Boy genius, pal robot and single mom move to a new town. Boy makes friends, robot becomes creepy but boy finds "where his heart ought to be." Bullies, pranks, killings and deaths erase his best friend and "where his heart ought to be." He puts the robot chip into girl brain and revives her, except "where his heart ought to be" is hollow. She is overprotective, wifed and destructive. There is no balance as to which mentality is winning. She's a killer robot. The movie's charms outweighed its incomprehension. Anne Ramsey rained Halloween as a tormented neighbor who hated everybody. Matthew Laborteaux kept things hairy. Kristy Swanson kept things calm. Wes Craven signed it. The basketball was everything. It's stupid trash with enough bits of imagination to create enjoyment. 20-Oct-2021