TV Posts Tagged as 'Over the Top'
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Love Boat, The (1977-1987)
Love Boat existed to keep old Hollywood cranking, practicing and competing. If you were a nice Hollywood legend and the people liked you, it warranted a return. The captain was a snob with a penchant for girl grabs, trans sex and unwarranted political views. Lauren Tewes was a drug inducer whose smile and social activities denied it. Ted Lange kept the drinks shaking and rhyming to romantic beats. Fred Grandy was aptly named Gopher as was Charo. All animals and children have a chance at "coochie coochie" on the high seas. Cruises are meant for cheating not confessing. Why ruin a good marriage over a fuck? Not recommended for children or parents across the world. Beauty is a factor, ugly gets laid, poor people smell, old women drink, gays pretend, extensions don't exist, cultures commiserate, men are pigs, sex is free, meat was eaten, everything is beautiful and all is forgiven. 06-Jul-2021
Married At First Sight Australia (2015-)
Season 6 was withheld from us because we are not mature enough to handle emotional failure. Hades and his coven interpret every relationship based on a fairytale and are genuinely horrified when reality proves it untrue. Hades unleashes romper terminators to seduce Ares and Hercules to ignite the audience and insult the wives. I could taste the master's lava. I threw up but didn't explode. 01-Oct-2020
Married At First Sight (2014-)
Reunion 2. Haley & Jacob. Captain Rio was de feathered because Shrek dragons are heralded as heroes and roosters are unforgivable if they can't bring their chicks to climax. Daddy needs to go oink. We love the 80s and sitting on floppy dicks. Brown Robin. Dude, are you flirting with me? (see pic above.) I accept. Erik. Daddy was punished for being fatherly towards his daughter and not accepting that a girl her age needs to socialize with other boys. Wink, wink. Shlumber Party! The experts. Why didn't the ladies sit together? Woke hug moments missed. Wow. Dr. Pepper looked at Dr. Viv without contempt. Chris became a legal dispute. "We didn't know he was a schmuck. We got fooled just like everybody else. What are we experts? Good God." The children closed the show with a request to the viewers to treat them like the semi-gods they came on TV to be not like celebrities from Hollywood. Play-acting is real.
(Next season: cats! Dr Viv and hats! I'm on it.) 26-May-2021
Virginia & Erik. The big bad wolf, little red riding hood and grandma guts joined the reunion. Daddy was very proud of his little girl gushing googles and acting all Romper Room. If Virginia were a drunk she would remember something offputting about her buddies instead she feels closer to them after their slumber parties. Good cheap wine. Feminism cancelled "whoredom the thought" but not the feeling. Sorry, can't teach her anything. Pajama party on! Is that red cup mine? (I see drunk vaginal exams in her future.) Clara & Ryan. Ryan is still a "pussy" virgin. He'd rather marry her again than fuck her. Poor Starfire. Briana & Vincent. They were cute. Vincent got me when he laughed at the horse clip thinking about what I said. Looks like a pork roast is in daddy's future. The boss is gone. Chris & Paige. Everybody hates Chris and the show will do what's legally possible to humiliate him. 19-May-2021
Some contestants remained homeless. Dr. Pep stared at Dr. Viv with the same dread as a cat. There is no cure for bossy. 13-May-2021
Contract negotiations are up and the married strangers have to decide if the extra money is worth faking it for another year. Brown Robin & Hillbilly Starfire. I have no idea what he's saying and somebody needs to check her pilot light. Briana & Vincent. I knew he hated her. He wants a wife that will keep him company, light his stove and cook some delicious pork, not a congressional candidate. Why did she make him apologize for having a sexual preference but she couldn't return the courtesy for being bossy? Bossy is not attractive or empowering. They cancel people for that. See Leah Michelle. If he needs to change, she needs to change or some pork bitch is gonna steal him. Oops. He had his vengeance. He fucked up her hair! Haley & Jacob. The production offered her a lot of money and she is homeless. The dinner found them wanting to smirk, giggle and compare how much each received in contract negotiations. They couldn't even fake it. Virginia & Erik. The individuals were asked scripted questions by their very stiff friends except for Erik's daughter. Her sleepover pal (wink, wink) cowboy'd up, gave her a nod and asked "how much we gettin'?" Father is bossy too but children need enforcement so they don't grow up bossy. 29-Apr-2021
Virginia & Erik. Daddy was astounded that his cheating wife doesn't like surprises. The cats. Dude, speak to Doctor Viviana. She knows how to secretly get rid of cats. Briana & Vincent. Squish squirmed when his wife admitted to thieving. Did he marry a thug? The horse. Latin men think that if they fall off a horse, the horse will try to fuck them. Haley & Jacob. Haley didn't care that she and her partner knew all the game answers about each other, she was still punishing him for being a bad fuck. When daddy Rio drank from the trophy cup I wanted to bear Haley's burden. Oy. Brown Robin and Hillbilly Starfire made it to the retreat. The secret to a rotund butt is to eat lots of chips with dip and never stick your dick in a vagina. 15-Apr-2021
90 Day Fiancee: Tell All (2021)
The legend of the Leprechaun
Pt.2. Tarik and Hazel. Why is everyone pretending Tarik doesn't want to fuck Minty? Dude, her name is Minty. Minty doesn't like women but she's pretending to so she can steal Hazel's green card. "Bitch, get your own chump!" Andrew and Amira. I'm surprised she can travel. She doesn't move much.
It ended abruptly and it was Natalie's turn. WTF?! 19-Apr-2021
Pt.1. Yara & Jovi. Jovi likes strippers because they make him cum. Mike & Natalie. Natalie might qualify for "best supporting actress in a documentary" at next year's Academy Awards. Mike is a beastly leprechaun. He promises her his pot of gold then takes it back. The beast got shot projectiles for finding a unique way to explain cheating on Natalie. The prize for the humiliation is five years of extra fucks for him and a smelly closet, a freezing home, a pig, carrots and some company for her. I hope someone asks Natalie if she's a hardcore fan of Alison Argram who played Nellie Oleson on Little House... Brandon & Julia. Julia gave all the males woodies and squirms whilst describing her career, esp. Jovi and Brandon's dad. The Boy's mother almost choked from twitching closed her emotions. Rebecca & Zied. Tiffany's friend flirted with Zied and fucked Tiffany's husband. His guilt oozed right off the screen even though nobody accused him of anything. Zied didn't fuck Rebecca when she got naked in the hot tub because the lighting was off. Andrew & Amira. She couldn't breathe so she put a sexy bustier on to help the oxygen circulate. Andrew got his hair ironed for nothing. 13-Apr-2021
Married At First Sight (2014-)
Virginia & Eric. Daddy tried to impress his daughter with his Snoopy skills. He was the Red Baron. She complained that he didn't spend enough time with her family. Daddy doesn't want to hang around people his age. It's nerve wracking. Briana & Vincent. Lucy plotted for Ricky to see her dance, he trained to ignore her. She fully acclaimed herself, he was full of boredom. She teased maternity and snapped his attention back but when she extended the expiration date he held back. "A dancer, my ass!" Clara & Ryan. He's failed every mental health wellness test I can think of. Of course he's willing to have relationships with her family. He doesn't have to fuck them either. He makes his vibrant wife "hand job" him every night because she is not worthy of full penetration. I want him and Chris to make a Fans Only video. I want to see Chris alligator fuck the shit out of Ryan's balloon clown ass. Haley & Jacob. My favorite bird (Rio) and princess (Lilly of The Valley) competed for alphadom. Jacob needs to bend over immediately because her strap is hard and he lost. Did daddy call himself an eagle and her a dragon? Like the one in Shrek? 15-Apr-2021
Chris explained to Pastor Cal that the reason he was explosive on the show is because they set him up with a grenade. I wished El Pastor would have utilized some of the cheap scenery and bashed him with it. The experts were so professional that it felt like they were reading my mind. Virginia and Erik. One of the disadvantages of being a daddy is you get to watch your little girl go on dates and come home plastered. Haley and Jacob. All I heard were inner screams during Haley's therapy session. "If he touches me again...I'll scream...I swear it!" Oooh maybe he's CIA. Clara and Ryan. Clara, don't beg for sex. Men who make their partners wait for sex usually suck at it. She needs to renew her contract and corral herself the tallest man of her dreams. Briana and Vincent. Ricky Ricardo schemed to get Lucy to agree to let him sleep late with his newly conceptualized financial budget. Lucy swallowed the budget like a seal eating fish. When Briana told Vincent that she was afraid to have children, all was still except for the profanities swirling in his head. Well-played ladies! 08-Apr-2021
The unmentionable couple. His voice makes me put a lock on my ass even though it splits her vagina. Go figure. Alligator dick is making her look like a stupid horny cheerleader. Ryan and Clara. Bottom boy doesn't know how to satisfy a woman. A horny hillbilly doesn't help. Experts need to set up "gay alerts" with butchy lesbians like the Australian version. (It wakes up identity at supreme velocity.) Jacob and Haley. Herman Munster and any strange white woman down the street. Haley needs to stop signing NDAs. Besides a two incher, a fast cummer or an accidental choker, I don't understand the dilemma. Did he confuse the meaning of cunnilingus? Did he make her lick his hairy ass? Did he not wipe? We wanna know. Erik and Virginia. There is no life for her without her drunk fuck buddies. They're lords of her ring. Old daddy showed "wife duly fuck" appreciation by taking her flying. Vincent and Briana. It feels like he's faking it. His insecurities can't solidify love. 24-Mar-2021
The show let the dogs out so Doctora Viviana could pet them. See, she likes animals, just not cats. There was a harrowing moment when Haley's adorable dog was seen judging Viviana but she caught him and gave him stink-eye. The dog magically disappeared. Haley and Jacob. Dude, she's been acting like this ever since you fucked her. There are two types of screams in the world and her aura ain't spelling delighted. 18-Mar-2021
90 Day Fiance (2014-)
"The Boy" read the Russian incantation that turns him into a doll during his wedding ceremony. Mike seems to be the only cast member to have understood the irony of The Americans. Natalie freaked out about the fat fuck not marrying her like they were giving out Emmys for it. "Best Outburst By A Communist" in the reality TV genre. 28-Mar-2021
It no longer seems viable that the main purpose of the show is to celebrate interracial marriage. It's a business contract. Men who have trouble corralling local women have to go abroad to find a strong woman willing to give them what a man needs and able to fight to keep it true. More babies; more man freedom. Unfortunately for man, women are evolving all over the world and man has no time to ponder. They nag as much as the American bitches.
A woman with power fishes overseas because she needs to feel like a woman again by the crude affections of a foreign alpha with a penchant for America, sex, shackling, expensive gifts and more money. I don't think getting your head chopped off for an orgasm is worth it but... They all deserve each other.
(P.S. Did Julia call "The Boy" a doll? Awesome. He's turning.) 01-Mar-2021
Natalie and Mike's ferocious mother. Natalie turned into WandaVision for one night and it was glorious. Does her country allow her to be this independent and vocal? She was on a mission to get what she deserves. Mama came onboard to judge. Both women were hardheaded. Mama Ferocious smeared Rachel with butter and slapped her son with a tail and an elephant moniker. They were Avengers united in the quest to do what's best for Mike. Unload him/inherit him. Brava! Rachel won the day and our hearts. Has she? Madame Meow and her son. Meow forgot to check the other ten phones he's hiding at his girlfriend's house. He's setting her up and she is letting him. Why? It's dangerous to conceive that her actions are ok because she likes it. Andrew and Amira. Nasty, dude. Maybe what The Boy needs on the farm is a man. 26-Jan-2021
Casados Con Hijos (2004-)
Married With Children adapted for Colombian TV. The cast and writers are frying the American version in nastiness. They break all the rules that we police. Al is ridiculous and mama makes Peggy proud. Bud fucks his uncle's wife before the wedding and Kelly literally fucks the whole town. It's free, it's stupid, it makes me laugh before singing me to sleep. There's nothing like family. 06-Mar-2021
Married At First Sight (2014-)
Virginia and Erik. Virginia invited some of her slumber fucks over and they got along swimmingly with Erik. They had so much of one thing in common. Briana and Erik. Big guy, small dick? Clara and Ryan. Ryan invited his ex and significant other. The ex kept smirking uncomfortably. He was embarrassed for his bottom boy. Significant other got paid to cheer. Haley and Jacob. I can see the hate in her eyes whenever anyone casts him in a good light. She's clenching her teeth, screaming "can't you see it!?" I can see it girl! I wouldn't want to birth him a daughter with that nose either. 03-Mar-2021
Virginia and Erik. Why didn't El Pastor ask Virginia if she would give up drinking for a successful marriage when they whisked her away from that party on the beach? Veronica, even children use slumber parties as an excuse to fuck. Erik knows all the answers to a successful relationship. Why is he here with this child? Clara and Ryan. The couple can no longer contain the frozen smiles on their faces. They're melting. She's about to jump out of her skin and bottom pocket has malfunctions. Eek. Briana & Vincent. He doesn't seem genuine. Hailey and Jacob. She hates him. Jacob intimated that all white people are Karens. We no longer have to wonder. Paige. I was hoping to get closure to this catastrophe but no one had the balls. El Pastor came a knocking to have Paige announce to the court that she was not coerced into being a stranger's sex puppet. Maybe she acquiesced because she was assured by experts that it would be safe. If El Pastor wanted to redeem himself, he would have let Paige talk, have Chris listen but not say anything, annul the marriage and tell him to get the fuck off the show. Next week: and the beat goes on. 24-Feb-2021
When a woman tells her husband it's not clicking she's telling him his dick did not make her vagina go clackety clack. She's being nice. Four husbands attempted zipping their wives. Only one succeeded. His dick clicked with her vagina. The other three wives did shut up. BLM attacked the MAF bus. BLM apologized at dinner but Proud boys showed up late and served him raw sushi and steak knives. Boom!
How long are these quacks going to make Paige suffer? 18-Feb-2021
Erik and Virginia. She's high energy, he's a horny old nerd enjoying a young chick. It will kill him, tire him or oops, with the right drug mixture, reenergize him. Vincent and Brianna. I will rub his head as soon he stops pretending he has the answer to everything. Jacob and Haley. Daddy has singe body. Mama wife needs to feel it somewhere in the dark, share it and turn her back on it as soon as he pounces. Ryan and Clara. Ryan is a super pocket daddy. He is super because he's a diamond in the ruff, hung, confident, manly and willing to seem 10 feet tall. I want to play with that piece of art laying across his head. I love it. If she sluts, he's out. Chris and Paige. The Wolf and Little Red Riding Hood. The Wolf's pack/family portrayed a gang rape mentality when discussing The Wolf's bride. Disgusting. They all wanted to bang her big butt like it wasn't attached to a person.
Whomever has the cat must have Viviana visit. She hates them! 01-Feb-2021
You can successfully write stupid if the cast is willing to forego all boundaries and accept the stupidity in all of us. It can be unrealistic, silly but fun. There are more misses than hits but when they do, they are uproarious. Kisses to Queen Kong and a supportive staff, cunning to break out. 14-Feb-2021
Sister, The (2020)
Man and his mate bury man wife sister. Mate later returns to inform husband that they need to move the body because of digging. Russell Tovy's choo choo train is fully equipped. He is frantic, deceiving, psychotic and the face of many successful emotions. The mate is annoying but the cast is bright. When the story reaches preposterous, the air bursts out of the balloon. 25-Jan-2021
Call Your Mother (2021-)
There is no reason to call her because she is the primary that needs parenting. Mother can make a dirty cheese muffin, attention grab the hell out of parental privilege and retract the independence from her children. A sexless black gay token is hired to fawn over white mama madness and the other is relegated to immobile chat calls as mama's bestie. The younglings have no idea how to create a spark and the son should have been gay. What's a crappy mother without a gay son? Boring. 21-Jan-2021
90 Day Fiance (2014-)
If this season doesn't wrap soon, I'm going to end up with a Russian accent. 19-Jan-2021
Mike and Natalie. Ukrainian is being Green Acred. Yara and Jovi. Her claws are nails hammered into a man's jacket but not the man. He's not in it because he's weaving his own shit. Stephanie and Ryan. Madam Meow caught a bird in her nest. She can't play with him like she does cats. They don't sit still. It's cuddles and swipes. He pecks her hard though. When her condition of madness worsens, we are embarrassed for her. Andrew and Amira. Andrew thinks he bought himself a bargain basement Mulan housemaid and caretaker. "Bro, she even kills men for me." Rebecca and Zied. Zied swagged like he was in one of those videos he watched on Beta in his own country five years ago. Rebecca's daughter and boyfriend contributed great face in internally exposing mother's mental ill-being. Call a doctor.
Daughter of Rebecca. If you don't want anyone confusing the asshole for your brother, die the hair. 12-Jan-2021
Dude, I swear I saw "The Boy" move. Poor Julia is definitely going to be "family dinner." The parents want "Boy" and "girl" in "separate rooms." She's alone in "Hobbit World: Creepy Campers." Good luck child. I hope you have friends. Mike and Natalie. America has made Natalie's curls limp and soft. I don't think she's noticed. When she does Hank is going to have to rustle up some carrots for her by the barrel full. Hank, whatever you do, send her back, don't leave her here with us. Jovi and Yara. Clever wench bespoke relationship and dollar bill expectations, he refuted, melted, gave in for the action, apologized and upgraded the relationship. A doll she shall become. Stephanie and Ryan. Stephanie, when he isn't answering your calls and texts, he's fucking. If it's been weeks, he's fucking, shacked up, enjoying life and turning the watches you sent him into gold. What does she think he needs them for? They are a poor country struggling to eat. Time doesn't matter. On the bright side, she probably fed plenty of villages. Maybe Stephanie needs the pain to feel alive again but if she values money she shouldn't. Keep playing with your cat. Rebecca and Zied. The only ones I give the benefit of the doubt to. Maybe you need to go far out to meet far out because you're far out. 28-Dec-2020
When you don't warn loser children about the reality of their limitations they turn to other planets to find worth. I'd rather fuck a pasty American than die on a crumbling planet. Brandon and Julia. The town was almost figuring out Brandon's sexual preference until the parents intercepted and set him up with a Russian bride. Brandon is the man who posed for "The Boy" doll, whose parents corroborate the backstory and whose actions cause a chill. Mike and Natalie. Drunker Blake Shelton engaged to Gwen Moscowitz. She might make his 2 feel like a 10 but his brain is mush. I don't get it. The intensity of her curls scare me. Rebecca and Zied. She's one of those people the parents couldn't convey the truth to and he's one of the assholes who noticed. Jovi and Yara. A doll and a pop-up. 08-Dec-2020
90 Day Fiance: The Other Way (2019-)
After sucking all of Jenny's earnings, Sumit's license plate will read "Lying Fucking Indian 2020." The sinful American daughters are no match for the guru of lies. At least they don't have to listen to mother pine for curry penis while he celebrates. The Gallos are getting married. Armando's thoughts shot right through the screen. "The money is mine, mine, mine. All of it. Fuck all thee cheeldren." The baby and Ariela took hot baby to a religious festival. Ariela worried for her child. The baby almost got wet! Her baby is the most sensitive being on the planet. Why are religious people so barbaric? She overreacted, apologized, declared her love for Ethiopion bendy straws and Sumit was not the only foreigner memorizing corny wench snagging romcoms. The mushrooms (Deavon & Jihoon) collapsed under their own gasses. Her dizzy aroma did not mesh with his stationary high. Pretty muslim boy is a terrorist bomb threat with no inheritance package. Brittany said, "fuck that, I'm going back to America. Be safe. Kisses." Smart girl. 30-Nov-2020
Sumit & Jenny. Sumit has earned the best supporting acting Oscar for 2021. He pleaded with the brownstones (parents) like he actually wanted to be married to a 500 year old fossil because he can't do any better or find a stabilized job. If Jenny does not wake up to the scam she will need mental health intervention. Tim left Melyza because dressing and holding a tiny doll in another country is very expensive. To elicit the tight doll like qualities of a foreigner he's going to have to stalk High School cheerleaders once he lands in America. The pain. Brittany and Yazan. Better hotter hairier brother held a conference with Brittany where he spilled Yazan's humiliations and castigations and demonstrated fuckable muslim sensitivity. Brittany is the smart American sister who decides with her brain and not with her partner's dick. Ariela and Baby. Ariela is full pod. There is no hope left for her and her mother knew it. The witches have clouded her mental health so she can withstand the torture of her child. They all lead miserable lives but not going to hell is a priority in a world with no God. It excuses all the evil they do. Stupid traditions belong in the fire. I smell a GLAAD Award for next week's episode. The Gallos get married with absolutely no rights to bind it! 22-Nov-2020
Geez. I almost forgot the gay darlings. First off, fuck them for using a clueless child (daughter) as a tool to make an audience sympathize with their political agenda. Armando did a great job passing the hate. The child was programmed to hate anything that would disagree with whatever daddy and granny croak say. The world pushes back daddies and the girl has no strength. When she acquires an opinion, it will bite them in the ass. Secondly, even if you get married, society doesn't accept, authorities wont honor it and the other laws will cancel it. Nope, wedding contract void. Next! Why bother. Did American croak do any homework? I understand Armando will fuck a cactus to smell a better life but it doesn't last long enough to matter. Eventually he'll have to become the man his wife was always telling him to become and what the daughter needs. Armando will walk away from the farce none the better and carry-on but his daughter might suffer. 16-Nov-2020
The patience testing episode. Ariela and Biniyam. American parents need to get a backbone. If foreign country parents can enslave and threaten to kill their children for their life choices the American parent can dish a whipping and withhold financial support to a dead end relationship. In Biniyam's world man exists to be satisfied (whoring, lying, and free money from easy options.) If Ariela expects respect she texted the wrong area code. I felt Ariela's parents' rage at the witch sisters, accusing their daughter of being tacky and rude whilst being tacky and rude themselves. If women don't have a say in their country, shut the fuck up. Ariela seems like she is breaking from the atmosphere. Good mental heath is a priority. Jenny and The Best Liar In India. Dude is gunning for an award for most convincing reality star. He doesn't want to marry Jenny but he likes her financial support. Bullocks. Jenny needs some help here. Her daughter-in-law gave great red face during the video chat. Send her to India to meet his parents. She'll fuck them up. They are trying to be patient and supportive. I get that. We have to stop being so wimpy though. Tell her. It won't go in right away but given the right moment it will click in when she needs it most. Sorry, Jenny. Tim and Melyza. Tim's mother had the best reaction to female cheating. Women do it to make sure they pick the right one or because they got dumped. 16-Nov-2020
Ariela and Biniyam. Big Baby suffers from Sumit lying syndrome and man whoredom. When a man exclaims he needs to be trusted, don't. His nasty family and stupid smirks do not endear him to humans. Mama Korea brought her kind persona and she was fun. Brittany and Yazan. She's fiddling with fate. I know the main reason why women have to cover-up in muslim countries. The men who dedicate a lifetime to prayer can't contain themselves around flesh. Horndogs. Don't ask them to change a diaper. Melyza played cool cat as mama "Karen" (Tim's mother) met her bet and raised it. Mama will call the police, even in another country if she thinks the slut is getting out of hand. The faux courtesy is just an American charm. 02-Nov-2020
Ben 10 Versus The Universe (2020)
Man of Action is its motto and we are stuck with it. Daring move. Gwen's character was shrunken, devoid of hutzpah and no magic. Bitch, we want the magic. Make it up on that infinite timeline I can't follow anymore. The upgrades are cool but I want to see it in 3D. That would make it awesome. Babies are exhausting, there is no heart left in the franchise and I no longer have a comfortable desire to relive my 30s. 28-Nov-2020
I don't have the missing brain cells to understand it or finish it. 28-Nov-2020