Movies Posts Tagged as 'Loud'
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It predated classics that trumped it. It was a template for the future. It was also a piece of junk. It was a film full of ideas that had to bombastically announce them. Michael Myers lived in a multi-verse where Laurie Strode "is" his sister. He kidnaps her, a baby, rapes her in front of the child and recoils until he's horny again. Did she give birth to Michael Myers, Jr. from multi-verse Halloweens? There was a glimmer of Joker's "dance with the devil" choreography. It made babysitting a shitty job. The privileged are forced to hire child haters. The child was adorable even when being manhandled by all sorts of creepy adults. The house is where you want to film it, Susan George didn't need to act and everybody needed to tone it down. 04-Jul-2023
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)
The mood is retro energized to soothe us into an 80's coma. There are three sexes applied to Bizarro Chalamet and I can't get over it. Daddy Rudd endured the right cosmetic procedure because he's yummy gay again except he was stupid, useless and shoed. The wall between the generations discouraged charisma amongst the replacements. There was a don't touch me vibe with babies helming a gimmick that keeps the franchise alive but old movie stars resentful. Why do possessed lizards change their outfits willy nilly but man has to suffer in shreds? The first half works because we presume the artist will add a great spin to propel the magic and replace original mistakes. He makes it more of the same. Reitman copies the spins with advanced tech but he doesn't sign off on it. 20-May-2022
Suicide Squad (2020)
Margot Robbie can't queef a joyous Harley, Joel Kinnaman misplaced his acting capabilities and Nathan Fillion can't squish anymore. Pete Davidson came and went, Viola gave it more than it deserved and the whole was obliterated by Cena and his tighty whites. The film has guts. it needs them to deal with an army of superhero ninnies. 02-Nov-2021
Christmas Chronicles 2, The (2020)
An array of adorable elves get kidnapped by Mr. & Mrs. Claus to run toy factories, serve their masters and provide Christmas preciousness to their surroundings. When an elf breaks a rule it gets turned into a fat depressed British runt. Why? Santa stomps and hair flips like a daddy stealth bomber, mama Santa has Goldie specs and the children are as interesting as the beach they never go to. Everything is boisterous and pimped out. When the elves turn into Gremlins the cuteness subsides, the gas gets turned up high and Christmas burns down. 30-Nov-2020
Cutting Class (1989)
Mental health contamination scours a suburban town with blood splatter. The kills work as an after the fact. Neither Brad Pitt's twink beauty supreme or talent could save it. (I figured out the whodunit by studying the killer's arms and hands to no avail. They ridiculously didn't match.)
Trivia: Hollywood's champion cocksucker is in it too. 18-Jul-2020
Salt And Pepper (1968)
They had the etiquette to name Sammy Davis Jr. Salt and Peter Lawson Pepper but the film scourges the earth with inappropriateness. It's a spin-off of Rat Pack mentality, with loss of cool, unbelievable politics and ridiculous antics. The buddies have built-in chemistry but the premise is bonkers. 29-Jun-2020
Star Wars: The Rise Of Skywalker (2019)
Star Wars is one of the most challenging series to keep alive. Each post iteration appearing shiny and new with ardent fandom, bounteous clamor and no history or relevance to match any of the original three. They are only embers of the force.
JJ dropped the soap. Politics clenched the dynamic and criticism quelled his enthusiasm. He did not lend his panoramic to anything past what we would see in a video game.
It spent too much time preaching the force and little time explaining anything else.
Kylo Ren worked better with his mask on. (He was more intimidating.)
Zori Bliss would have worked better with her mask off.
Lando and the phantasms of veteran greats brought the force but the new power was missing a united purpose that would compel them to overcome the awkwardness. You can't expect much from an actor whose belly is full.
Everything old as new is delight, everything new and unthought of is bah...everything new and shiny, rusts. 20-Jun-2020
Uncut Gems (2019)
I feel about jewelry like others feel about watermelons.
The film consisted of many genres, high broiling, at improbable levels. Sandler steadies the flow, not allowing the top to blow off and steering the steam back into action. Talking over each other annoys, the pitch was trembly, the support were emblems, the coincidences were easy to spot and the finale was extensive. It zapped my brain. 28-May-2020
Jumanji: The Next Level (2019)
It looks like the same level to me. There is a wisp of outrageous hilarity that ensues when we first hear Dwayne and Kevin attempt new accents, but it vanishes as soon as you sober up. There is only so much failure you can laugh at. I sat down in my boxers to get actioned up and ended up with shredded panties. There was so much sap that the pancakes runneth over. 15-Apr-2020
Rim Of The World (2019)
Aliens have invaded and, it's up to 4 pups, to save the world. The children are cliches and stereotypes discharging sexual innuendos, inappropriate confusion and fake bravado. The script particularly hates most of the black characters as they exist to be the brunt of a joke and are the fastest to grate. The aliens don't look or act like they can access tech because their design is jurassic. No fun, just crap. 13-Apr-2020
Attack Of The Fifty Foot Woman (1958)
Frantic housewife contracts gigantism whilst anguishing about her husband's sexual fluidity. It's a feminist turn that unite the men against her. The Efx burn due to age but also because the star "hand" was atrocious and the giants were transparent sometimes and not others. I rather they hadn't. A man will allow a woman to have big ideas as long as they don't go to her head. 12-Apr-2020
Mary Poppins Returns (2018)
I had to quit. Just when I was getting accustomed to the hyper tension, they sang. 25-Sep-2019
Feminine Touch, The (1941)
Sex war rom com served by master wits (Don Ameche, Rosalind Russell, Van Heflin and Kay Francis.) Ameche and Rosalind defy lack of chemistry but Heflin and Francis uplift the back end. The logic stipulates that men classify a woman's worth by the amount of selected howlers sniffing at her door. All the woman wants is for her man to grow a pair and punch the howlers sniffing at her door. 06-Feb-2019
Period of Adjustment (1962)
The utters of Fonda and Hutton chanted high. Tony Franciosa kept the octaves low and his charisma forward. John McGiver sets and Mabel Albertson resists becoming the in-law stereotype. They glorified it. Lois Nettleton steals it because she could.
Marriage is deemed a terror, everyone screams their heads off until a surprise gift changes it. It has a loud message but you can still hear it.
Unfortunately, George Roy Hill's absurdity didn't allow Tennessee to be tragic. It's what the writer did best. 03-Jan-2019
Fist Fight (2017)
Instead of expounding on the challenges of education they blast the ridiculousness of adult immaturity. The overload of stereotypes swats the funny. 23-Nov-2018