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All Posts Tagged as 'Indecipherable'

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Cats (2019) BitesEarly Exit

Of course, I was going to hate it. Wrecked performances, grave CGI, clipped penises and roach choreography. I couldn't finish it. 09-May-2020

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Creepy, Director Insanity, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Eye Gouge, Fantasy, Fatigue, Horror, Indecipherable, Music Murders, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Preposterous, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Vague, Weird

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

09-May-2020


It: Chapter Two (2019) Whimper

The adult actors cannot fulfill the innocence and vibrance of the youngsters who established it and further diminish the investment in a fretful conclusion. Skarsgard is a sure thing but Muschietti's insistence in piling disconnected scares that belong to a Freddy Krueger franchise, shoves his monster icon status to the shadows. The mumbo was a jumble, the Spielberg didn't fit and the sap broke the vine. 23-Apr-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, By the Numbers, Daddy Squish, Decent FX, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Horror, Indecipherable, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Sap, Scare Obvious, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Too Long, Vague

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

23-Apr-2020


Curse Of La Llorona, The (2019) Whimper

The way my mother told it, she was a parent wronged and punished to death for the unproven murder of her children. Drowned in chains, her spirit would periodically roam the streets searching and screaming in agony for her children. The only way to avoid her was to go to sleep at an allotted time, else she take you if awake. It was a technique to get kids to go to bed early.

The kids react well but the jumps aren't supportive. The mumbo jumbo doesn't help. It has ideas that are badly executed. The umbrella trick was its best. A daddy priest husk never hurts but the horror never fucked with my head. 15-Apr-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Chemistry, Cold, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Disappointment, Drama, Horror, Indecipherable, Over the Top, Revenge, Scare Obvious, Stupid Funny, Timid

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

15-Apr-2020


Jumanji: The Next Level (2019) Bites

It looks like the same level to me. There is a wisp of outrageous hilarity that ensues when we first hear Dwayne and Kevin attempt new accents, but it vanishes as soon as you sober up. There is only so much failure you can laugh at. I sat down in my boxers to get actioned up and ended up with shredded panties. There was so much sap that the pancakes runneth over. 15-Apr-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Brutal, Camp, Daddy Squish, Director Slouch, Fantasy, Fatigue, Grating, Indecipherable, Loud, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Sap, Sentimental, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tedium, Timid, Timid Effects, Writer Humiliation

Filed under: Movies

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15-Apr-2020


Rim Of The World (2019) Bites

Aliens have invaded and, it's up to 4 pups, to save the world. The children are cliches and stereotypes discharging sexual innuendos, inappropriate confusion and fake bravado. The script particularly hates most of the black characters as they exist to be the brunt of a joke and are the fastest to grate. The aliens don't look or act like they can access tech because their design is jurassic. No fun, just crap. 13-Apr-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Action, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Camp, Dialogue Lament, Director Insanity, False Action, Fatigue, Grating, Inappropriate, Indecipherable, Loud, Macho Posing, Oncer, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Timid, Weird, Writer Humiliation

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

13-Apr-2020


Stay (2005) Whimper

A vague bad trip made sillier by insignificant EFX. Even though his American accent was flawless, McGregor was clamping down so hard on his own that he lost his squishiness. Ryan Gosling hadn't found his squish yet... he was a serious actor. His blank stares were very blank. They gave little credence to Naomi Watts' character except to provide her great face at the end. 08-Mar-2020

Tags: 2000s, Accidental Watch, Bad Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Indecipherable, Mystery, Silly, Star Watt, Tedium, Timid Effects, Unenthusiastic, Vague, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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08-Mar-2020


Selfie From Hell (2018) Bites

I would have jumped, had reason backed it up. 13-Feb-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, By the Numbers, Camp, Conspiracy Theory, Creepy, Drama, Fatigue, Horror, Hot Swatch, Indecipherable, Over the Top, Political, Preposterous, Scare Obvious, Silly, Tedium, Timid

Filed under: Movies

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13-Feb-2020


Honey Boy (2019) Arf

Strange and toxic father/son relationship that propels the son's art. I don't understand why dad is a celebration and why Labeouf etches a dad from sketch comedy that diffuses further elaboration. He sounds like he never heard his dad talk. The film wrangles attention but delivering a statement that life's questions are easily answered, disavows the message just so it can temporarily cut the pain. 09-Feb-2020

Tags: 2010s, Creepy, Drama, Fatigue, Indecipherable, Sentimental, Star Watt, Timid, Vague, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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09-Feb-2020


Mom and Dad (2018) Whimper

Moms and dads awaken from stress to obliterate what causes them the most burden...kids. The film dares to ponder how society manipulates adults into creating life that overshadows their own but gets cold feet trying to decipher it. Nicolas Cage unleashes grand psycho qualities that the director reins in for fear of buffoonery (?) That's a shame. 08-Feb-2020

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Horror, Indecipherable, Over the Top, Political Satire, Star Watt, Suspense, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

Filed under: Movies

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08-Feb-2020


Midnight Movie: The Killer Cut (2008) Whimper

In order for a viewer to digest mumbo jumbo we need to be privy to the rules. The film concocts it and we decide if it is within the realm of possibility so we can view the art piece with tolerance. No rules were established and the filmmaker refused to reserve a coherent explanation. It was remastered to look sharper but not sound brighter. 03-Feb-2020

Tags: 2000s, 2020s, Art Devoid, By the Numbers, Camp, Corn, Director Slouch, Fatigue, Indecipherable, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Scare Obvious, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Timid, Vague, Weird

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

03-Feb-2020


Eyes Of My Mother, The (2016) Arf

The film adds no psychological perception of its theme. The director contributes affecting shots but the scares arise from unbound cruelty. 26-Dec-2019

Tags: 2010s, Brutal, Director's Slice, Gay Swatch, Horror, Indecipherable, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Over the Top, Scary, Tough, Vague, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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26-Dec-2019


Twice Upon A Time (2019-) Woof

Back to the future for love. The outline leaves you screaming for more but the two leads grind so intently, they keep you posted. 25-Dec-2019

Tags: 2010s, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Drama, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Indecipherable, Mystery, Open End, Open Ending, Over the Top, Romance, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Timid

Filed under: TV

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25-Dec-2019


Venus In Furs (1969) Whimper

Hot stuff (James Darrin) obsesses over dead girl. Like the drugged out haze it was written and directed in, the film lingers on aspects that make it boring. It was bold to include an interracial couple and lesbians romping freely but the sex scenes consisted of a man's back against a woman's catlike nails on repetition. Giving Barbara McNair the insufferable title song hurt her vocal chords and our ears. By the end, you'll feel as misplaced as James Darrin. 20-Dec-2019

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Disappointment, Drama, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Inactivity, Indecipherable, Music Murders, Mystery, Oncer, Open Ending, Over the Top, Preposterous, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Tedium, Timid, Twisty, Vague

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

20-Dec-2019


I Lost My Body (2019) Whimper

It lost me at the misadventures of a hand. 09-Dec-2019

Tags: 2010s, Animate, Brutal, Creepy, Indecipherable, Mystery, Over the Top, Preposterous, Silly, Tedium, Weird

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

09-Dec-2019


Neon Demon, The (2016) Whimper

The art of devouring beauty. The film is stuck on carving striking visuals to move itself along, never defining its purpose or giving a well cast tenacity. We tend to fear beauty but it's our reaction that stirs it. 08-Dec-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Director's Touch, Drama, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Indecipherable, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preposterous, Pretty, Silly, Star Watt, Suspense, Tedium, Timid, Weird

Filed under: Movies

Permalink

08-Dec-2019




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