Movies Posts Tagged as 'Indecipherable'
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Smile 2 (2024)

A frown is a smile upside down. 10-Apr-2025
I thought of something. Rebrand it as "The Frown." 09-Apr-2025
Naomi Scott created a character that was easy to understand and interesting to follow. The plot was basic. Many things seemed random. An out of the blue character always appears to explain the rules. The mythology is so vague that explanations became invalid. I still don't know what was real or not. I was committed because Ms. Scott was master tripping on emotions. I concocted many scenarios but I couldn't accept the smile thing (Joker thoughts), the mythology (not Buffy) or the scares (Terrifier-centric.) 09-Apr-2025
Longlegs (2024)

The atmosphere is chilling, the sounds creep and the actors are crude. FBI agent encounters said serial killer as a child but forgets. She has to find him before he kills again because she's an X-Men now. The agent is slightly psychic and heavily catatonic throughout except when she jolts awake to kick some butt. Sir Nicolas was doing his thing a la Toymaker. He was psychotic, abandoning and ridiculous. I didn't know if I wanted more of him or not. The film meanders depressively. The commonality between the agent and the serial killer is benign and hooey. Mumbo jumbo glues all the pieces together because most of it doesn't make sense. 15-Feb-2025
Late Night With The Devil (2023)

In order for the premise to thrive, the guests must shine. The little girl was inspired by the Scary movie franchise. The host had the most but was overshadowed by ponderous material. Support did not attempt to break a stereotypical shell to elicit empathy or further their characters. It didn't intrigue me, convince me or frighten me. (My mother wins most awesomemest possession of a devil in realtime.) It's almost impossible to recreate magic that only happens once in a lifetime. 22-Oct-2024
First Omen, The (2024)

They couldn't follow up the original story so they made shit up. I wanted to see the devil fuck a jackal. In what Walt Disney world is that not possible? It took cues from The Nun without inhabiting what made the original Omen successful. Actors we cared about bringing a terrific book to life. A score that lives in my eternal memory. A director that defined it without judging it. Damien-Omen II's foreboding notes would have given the movie strength and fan base pleasure throughout, if they had thought to use it. 01-Jun-2024
Smile (2022)

If you want your black fiancee to dump you, seek comfort with your adorable ex whose a cop and explain to him that you are not mentally ill but cursed. Parker Posey and Hillary Swank's niece pants as much as she talks in the role of a useless psychoanalyst. It avoids the psychic explanation but grants us a hooey mythology. The smile is irrelevant. It's a wink to Joker's laugh gas. The kid's party had me rolling, the mother turning into a drag queen was unexpected but the juju was preposterous. 24-Feb-2023
Girlfriend Who Didn't Exist, The (2022)

Grandiose liars are given the opportunity to elaborate. Famous cis boys that call social contacts girlfriends, without intimacy, are unwell. Fake girl can do a pitch perfect girl's voice (behind a screen and a receiver up his asshole) except when he's becoming a real girl. Famous boy is living for everyone but himself. The doc doesn't clarify much. 23-Aug-2022
Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021)

The mood is retro energized to soothe us into an 80's coma. There are three sexes applied to Bizarro Chalamet and I can't get over it. Daddy Rudd endured the right cosmetic procedure because he's yummy gay again except he was stupid, useless and shoed. The wall between the generations discouraged charisma amongst the replacements. There was a don't touch me vibe with babies helming a gimmick that keeps the franchise alive but old movie stars resentful. Why do possessed lizards change their outfits willy nilly but man has to suffer in shreds? The first half works because we presume the artist will add a great spin to propel the magic and replace original mistakes. He makes it more of the same. Reitman copies the spins with advanced tech but he doesn't sign off on it. 20-May-2022
Candyman (2021)

Non-movie illustration of why "Oscar So White" is still so prevalent. Candyman is stripped of sensual ferocity, opinion and reason. His myth is re-written and implied by puppetry because the talent wasn't inspired to showcase it. The scares couldn't unhinge a cockroach. The deaths are remote with closeup shots of thick red Kool-aid. The violence is hesitant because most black people are petrified of supernatural violence. It scratches the ghetto but refuses to live in it because black people don't want to return there. Whites have gentrified the ghetto and blacks are mad as hell because they weren't given enough time to make their home livable. "Welfare knocked on my door before I had a chance to straighten up." "Bitch, you know white people can't watch good land go to waste." Blacks with dedication and drive enjoy the gentrified lifestyle while critiquing their hosts and avoiding the nasty parts of their neighborhood. This is all supposed to tie in with a confusing Candyman revenge backstory. The candy was uninspired. It should have looked scrumptious and colorful. It looked like granny's recycled Christmas candy. Only fat kids pick that shit up. It wasn't woke enough to have Colman Domingo fuck Candyman. The film required more gays so Candyman could kill the two. Too bad. In what world are there more cops in the neighborhood than community? 31-Jan-2022
Pinocchio (2019)

Someone thought that realizing one of the most horrifying fairy tales to live film was a whimsical idea. The director wastes little time on magic and spends most of it on ugliness. He realized all the threats in a boy's life and all the insanity of the myth. A boy that really isn't a boy is considered a genderless fuck opportunity. Pedos prefer gender non-specific children because it's the baby smell they're after. Pinocchio is the perfect victim. Unique, beautiful, stupid, excited, rebellious and cooperative. The puppet gets enslaved, murdered, robbed, betrayed, hated, abused and exploited. Pinocchio cannot become a boy because his ADD doesn't allow him to sit still long enough to accept love and he's kind of an asshole. I'd be an asshole too if I were created to give hugs and tickles to ugly men. Oops, I was! The director rushes through plot points and changes nothing to make the ordeal acceptable. Why does wood eat? Why doesn't he rust or flake? What is the fairy's deal? His growing nose is a hard-on, not a lie. Jiminy Cricket sucked. It's a horror movie. Becoming a boy only grants him a hole. The world around him still sucks. 29-Dec-2021
Pete's Dragon (2016)

This is the the corny one but not to death. Elliot is a majestic dragon with fur and radioactive green. It still acts like a dog but it's butchy. Slave boy becomes orphan boy after wandering off into the forest post a fatal family crash. He is adopted by Elliott, becomes Tarzan boy, lives with animals, lives like animals and acquires 6 years knowledge of the English language by reading the same baby book over and over. No. The dragon doesn't talk. He whimpers. I frown on animals talking but dragons don't exist so it's okay for them to talk when we need shit explained. Redford was enervating, Howard was luminous and Fegly imagined. Sweet and magical moments stand out. 16-Feb-2021
We Have Always Lived In The Castle (2018)

Freak sister with a penchant for magic spells lives high up on a castle with her debutante sibling who has been exonerated for poisoning the parents and a wheelchair bound uncle with mental health splits. The town (downstairs) has granted them human cancellation and have a mass crowd conniption whenever the youngest witch comes down to shop. The debutante is a 50's housewife cloned with a Stepford. They may be the same thing. I don't know. There is no emotional understanding for the characters' overreaction. A whole town, except two people, want to destroy the younglings and their handi-capped uncle. If the town were made up of Janes then maybe I can digest that, maybe. Everybody has a heart, right? Alexandria Dadderio fit perfectly into a suit that was too refined for the story. We never get to see why she's agoraphobic or a robot. Sebastian Stan is Halloween candy, playing a long lost cousin who kindly visits to fuck with them. (Like protests.) Taissa Farmiga was hired because she is accomplished at giving an out of place character its reason for living. She was one oomph away. I didn't get it. 23-Oct-2020
Session 9 (2001)

This was an almost horror classic outdistanced by a grip not worthy of its folklore or its marriage to the present it creates for itself. The audio tapes that were assembled to heighten the tension, cartoon's it. Few actors can inhabit different ages or sexual identities with success. Get different voices. It's audio. The men in the present are not quantified for the sins of the past. It chugs along without much corroboration with its history except that the new mental health was once lunacy. 08-Oct-2020
Children Of The Damned (1964)

Only 6 of the damned children remain. They are diverse from different countries and brought together as gifted anomalies. The union creates a force amongst the children and the question of their humanity is evoked by anyone with a thought. The little buggers have a message. They kill because we kill. Man's interference with earth is not a save but a control. The kids exist to create balance. The adorable, horrible, little blonde wigs were missed but not needed. (I was curious to see how the minority children looked in them.) I'm sure they made the right decision. The mothers are ferociously hateful to them for making them live in an inescapable cold world. The fathers don't exist. The film expands and is its own thing but the explanation for the mythology bummed me out. 06-Oct-2020
Cuties (2020)

The controversy is unfounded. It is a coming of age story in which a girl realizes that the the only power out of a man's stranglehold is sex. Women, men and religion are not copacetic. Daddy is legally permitted to bring home a second wife and daughter and mother must celebrate it. The girls are reflecting the American pop icons that make female freedom seem so attainable. "Look, they can twerk their asses and shake their tits in public and no one stones them. They are considered queens living in castles above the clouds and everybody loves them. Their husbands are so cute and submissive. Little girls want to be loved and secretly twerk like adults. Parenting 101. Like most of its inspiration, the talent is unjustifiable. They can't dance. (My mother would have hiked up the kid's diaper, turned it into a plastic thong and had baby jiggling her ass for candy and male applause. I did it but only when they got me drunk. No kidding.) The atmosphere is full of enthusiasm with breaths of color. Female muslim prayer is actually represented. Good performances earn it praise but its lack of warmth and resolution hurt. A woman's best weapon is silence. 11-Sep-2020
Simon Killer (2012)

A heartbroken American goes to France to release himself. It is filled with ad lib banter (too many uhs and hmmms,) the sex was accurate (it gives you a woody) but the motivation was incomplete. 26-Aug-2020