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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Indecipherable'

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Girlfriend Who Didn't Exist, The (2022) Whimper

Grandiose liars are given the opportunity to elaborate. Famous cis boys that call social contacts girlfriends, without intimacy, are unwell. Fake girl can do a pitch perfect girl's voice (behind a screen and a receiver up his asshole) except when he's becoming a real girl. Famous boy is living for everyone but himself. The doc doesn't clarify much. 23-Aug-2022

Tags: 2020s, By the Numbers, Cultural, Dialogue Lament, Disappointment, Documentary, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Indecipherable, Manipulation, Preposterous, Silly, Trashy

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23-Aug-2022


Ghostbusters: Afterlife (2021) Arf

The mood is retro energized to soothe us into an 80's coma. There are three sexes applied to Bizarro Chalamet and I can't get over it. Daddy Rudd endured the right cosmetic procedure because he's yummy gay again except he was stupid, useless and shoed. The wall between the generations discouraged charisma amongst the replacements. There was a don't touch me vibe with babies helming a gimmick that keeps the franchise alive but old movie stars resentful. Why do possessed lizards change their outfits willy nilly but man has to suffer in shreds? The first half works because we presume the artist will add a great spin to propel the magic and replace original mistakes. He makes it more of the same. Reitman copies the spins with advanced tech but he doesn't sign off on it. 20-May-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Chemistry, Comedy, Corn, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Indecipherable, Loud, Psychological, Relationships, Sap, SciFi, Slow, Star Watt, Sweet, Thriller, Timid, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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20-May-2022


Candyman (2021) No Moons

Non-movie illustration of why "Oscar So White" is still so prevalent. Candyman is stripped of sensual ferocity, opinion and reason. His myth is re-written and implied by puppetry because the talent wasn't inspired to showcase it. The scares couldn't unhinge a cockroach. The deaths are remote with closeup shots of thick red Kool-aid. The violence is hesitant because most black people are petrified of supernatural violence. It scratches the ghetto but refuses to live in it because black people don't want to return there. Whites have gentrified the ghetto and blacks are mad as hell because they weren't given enough time to make their home livable. "Welfare knocked on my door before I had a chance to straighten up." "Bitch, you know white people can't watch good land go to waste." Blacks with dedication and drive enjoy the gentrified lifestyle while critiquing their hosts and avoiding the nasty parts of their neighborhood. This is all supposed to tie in with a confusing Candyman revenge backstory. The candy was uninspired. It should have looked scrumptious and colorful. It looked like granny's recycled Christmas candy. Only fat kids pick that shit up. It wasn't woke enough to have Colman Domingo fuck Candyman. The film required more gays so Candyman could kill the two. Too bad. In what world are there more cops in the neighborhood than community? 31-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Cliche, Coincidence Laden, Dialogue Lament, Director Slouch, Gay Swatch, Horror, Indecipherable, Political, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Retread, Silly, Tacky, Timid, Writer Weakness

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31-Jan-2022


Pinocchio (2019) Bites

Someone thought that realizing one of the most horrifying fairy tales to live film was a whimsical idea. The director wastes little time on magic and spends most of it on ugliness. He realized all the threats in a boy's life and all the insanity of the myth. A boy that really isn't a boy is considered a genderless fuck opportunity. Pedos prefer gender non-specific children because it's the baby smell they're after. Pinocchio is the perfect victim. Unique, beautiful, stupid, excited, rebellious and cooperative. The puppet gets enslaved, murdered, robbed, betrayed, hated, abused and exploited. Pinocchio cannot become a boy because his ADD doesn't allow him to sit still long enough to accept love and he's kind of an asshole. I'd be an asshole too if I were created to give hugs and tickles to ugly men. Oops, I was! The director rushes through plot points and changes nothing to make the ordeal acceptable. Why does wood eat? Why doesn't he rust or flake? What is the fairy's deal? His growing nose is a hard-on, not a lie. Jiminy Cricket sucked. It's a horror movie. Becoming a boy only grants him a hole. The world around him still sucks. 29-Dec-2021

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Action, Brutal, Creepy, Drama, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Horror, Indecipherable, Mean Spirited, Preposterous, Scary, Tacky, Tough, Trashy, Twinkie, Violent, Weird

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29-Dec-2021


Pete's Dragon (2016) Arf

This is the the corny one but not to death. Elliot is a majestic dragon with fur and radioactive green. It still acts like a dog but it's butchy. Slave boy becomes orphan boy after wandering off into the forest post a fatal family crash. He is adopted by Elliott, becomes Tarzan boy, lives with animals, lives like animals and acquires 6 years knowledge of the English language by reading the same baby book over and over. No. The dragon doesn't talk. He whimpers. I frown on animals talking but dragons don't exist so it's okay for them to talk when we need shit explained. Redford was enervating, Howard was luminous and Fegly imagined. Sweet and magical moments stand out. 16-Feb-2021

Tags: 2010s, Action, Action Fun, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Fantasy, Indecipherable, Kool Effects, Music Swings, Sap, Silly, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Timid, Weird

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16-Feb-2021


We Have Always Lived In The Castle (2018) Whimper

Freak sister with a penchant for magic spells lives high up on a castle with her debutante sibling who has been exonerated for poisoning the parents and a wheelchair bound uncle with mental health splits. The town (downstairs) has granted them human cancellation and have a mass crowd conniption whenever the youngest witch comes down to shop. The debutante is a 50's housewife cloned with a Stepford. They may be the same thing. I don't know. There is no emotional understanding for the characters' overreaction. A whole town, except two people, want to destroy the younglings and their handi-capped uncle. If the town were made up of Janes then maybe I can digest that, maybe. Everybody has a heart, right? Alexandria Dadderio fit perfectly into a suit that was too refined for the story. We never get to see why she's agoraphobic or a robot. Sebastian Stan is Halloween candy, playing a long lost cousin who kindly visits to fuck with them. (Like protests.) Taissa Farmiga was hired because she is accomplished at giving an out of place character its reason for living. She was one oomph away. I didn't get it. 23-Oct-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Daddy Squish, Funny, Sort of, Good Acting, Indecipherable, Mystery, Predictable, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Vague, Words Spoke

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23-Oct-2020


Session 9 (2001) Arf

This was an almost horror classic outdistanced by a grip not worthy of its folklore or its marriage to the present it creates for itself. The audio tapes that were assembled to heighten the tension, cartoon's it. Few actors can inhabit different ages or sexual identities with success. Get different voices. It's audio. The men in the present are not quantified for the sins of the past. It chugs along without much corroboration with its history except that the new mental health was once lunacy. 08-Oct-2020

Tags: 2000s, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Fatigue, Good Acting, Horror, Indecipherable, Mystery, Preposterous, Scary, Star Watt, Suspense, Timid, Wit Crack, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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08-Oct-2020


Children Of The Damned (1964) Arf

Only 6 of the damned children remain. They are diverse from different countries and brought together as gifted anomalies. The union creates a force amongst the children and the question of their humanity is evoked by anyone with a thought. The little buggers have a message. They kill because we kill. Man's interference with earth is not a save but a control. The kids exist to create balance. The adorable, horrible, little blonde wigs were missed but not needed. (I was curious to see how the minority children looked in them.) I'm sure they made the right decision. The mothers are ferociously hateful to them for making them live in an inescapable cold world. The fathers don't exist. The film expands and is its own thing but the explanation for the mythology bummed me out. 06-Oct-2020

Tags: 1960s, Action Fun, Cold, Conspiracy Theory, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Good Idea, Indecipherable, Mean Spirited, Music Swings, Political Satire, SciFi, Suspense, Tough, Words Spoke

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06-Oct-2020


Cuties (2020) Arf

The controversy is unfounded. It is a coming of age story in which a girl realizes that the the only power out of a man's stranglehold is sex. Women, men and religion are not copacetic. Daddy is legally permitted to bring home a second wife and daughter and mother must celebrate it. The girls are reflecting the American pop icons that make female freedom seem so attainable. "Look, they can twerk their asses and shake their tits in public and no one stones them. They are considered queens living in castles above the clouds and everybody loves them. Their husbands are so cute and submissive. Little girls want to be loved and secretly twerk like adults. Parenting 101. Like most of its inspiration, the talent is unjustifiable. They can't dance. (My mother would have hiked up the kid's diaper, turned it into a plastic thong and had baby jiggling her ass for candy and male applause. I did it but only when they got me drunk. No kidding.) The atmosphere is full of enthusiasm with breaths of color. Female muslim prayer is actually represented. Good performances earn it praise but its lack of warmth and resolution hurt. A woman's best weapon is silence. 11-Sep-2020

Tags: 2020s, Cultural, Disappointment, Enthusiastic, Funny, Good Acting, Indecipherable, Open Ending, Over the Top, Silly, Timid, Vague, Words Spoke

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11-Sep-2020


Simon Killer (2012) Arf

A heartbroken American goes to France to release himself. It is filled with ad lib banter (too many uhs and hmmms,) the sex was accurate (it gives you a woody) but the motivation was incomplete. 26-Aug-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Drama, Hot Swatch, Indecipherable, Mystery, Relationships, Sexy, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Subtle, Suspense, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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26-Aug-2020


Terminator: Dark Fate (2019) Whimper

Runny episode in the Terminator franchise. There is no verve in watching women do what they never do in real life. ("If I see another Karen dropkick another neighbor, I'll lose my shit.") It has all the ingredients of the best ones with none of its simmer, smarts or pot of humor. Young Arnold impressed but his Terminator mythology was destroyed. The cute brother should have played the Terminator. Sarah Connor is a show off. It talks, it fights, it conquers...story continued on Jane The Virgin. 21-Aug-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, Bad Chemistry, By the Numbers, Camp, Daddy Squish, Director Slouch, Drama, Ear Prick, False Action, Indecipherable, Macho Posing, Manipulation, Over the Top, Political, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Sap, SciFi, Shrill Act, Star Watt, Tedium, Timid, Writer Humiliation

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21-Aug-2020


Incident, The (2014) Arf

It's about repetition. People like myself have a tolerance for it. My mother kept me isolated like a special demon child that would wreck havoc onto the world if unleashed so repetition was my savior. I could visit safe lands (suburbs) inhabited by future friends (white people) and foretold accomplishments that never happened. The film is about repetition and it never stops. If the why hadn't kept me posted I would have skipped the nightmare. The clarification made sense, its' the what that didn't. 18-Aug-2020

Tags: 2010s, Brutal, Camp, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Grating, Indecipherable, Music Swings, Over the Top, Preposterous, Silly, Timid, Too Long, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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18-Aug-2020


They Come Knocking (2019) Whimper

Hot daddy raggedy, teen elder daughter crab apple and future "Karen" darling road it it to dead children county to distribute mama's ashes. You know the movie is not destined for greatness when the cliche effect of children's whispers is heard. The children creep a little but there are no sensible rules chaining the scares together. It's horror schmaltz. 11-Jul-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Daddy Squish, Director Slouch, Drama, Horror, Indecipherable, Manipulation, Relationships, Sap, Scare Obvious, Silly, Timid, Unenthusiastic

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11-Jul-2020


Cats (2019) BitesEarly Exit

Of course, I was going to hate it. Wrecked performances, grave CGI, clipped penises and roach choreography. I couldn't finish it. 09-May-2020

Tags: 2020s, Art Devoid, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, Camp, Creepy, Director Insanity, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Eye Gouge, Fantasy, Fatigue, Horror, Indecipherable, Music Murders, Musical Bombast, Over the Top, Preposterous, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Vague, Weird

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09-May-2020


It: Chapter Two (2019) Whimper

The adult actors cannot fulfill the innocence and vibrance of the youngsters who established it. They diminish the investment in a fretful conclusion. Skarsgard is a sure thing but Muschietti's insistence in piling disconnected scares that belong to a Freddy Krueger franchise sequel, shoves his monster icon status to the shadows. The mumbo was a jumble, the Spielberg didn't fit and the sap broke the vine. 23-Apr-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action, By the Numbers, Daddy Squish, Decent FX, Director Slouch, Drama, Fatigue, Horror, Indecipherable, Over the Top, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Sap, Scare Obvious, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Too Long, Vague

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23-Apr-2020




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