TV Posts Tagged as 'Funny'
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Love Is Blind (2020-)
I wanted to see more thigh, not this. The show fell and hit its head and a concussion was inevitable. There has to be a reason why Hannah is so popular. She scares me. Marissa's family had no business criticizing her fiancee's appearance without knowing him. Not only did the mother call her own daughter a bitch but she threatened Ramses with violence on national TV. Future bitch comparisons when they argue are forever. (I want to shave him so bad.) Nick, why doesn't your mustache connect to the beard? Tim was a disappointment. Not all squish is good and not all secrets are kosher. Stephen and Monica. Okay. This would have been the perfect occasion to bring flowers and a gift. 12-Oct-2024
S7E7. The vacation was a kindergartener's "first day" type of thing. The couples were blasted to la la land where the only dream that came true were worst case scenarios. The contestants dream so convincingly that it becomes a fake reality that doesn't prepare them for the future. Confidence is knowing where you're going no matter what stops you. Garrett shaved but I didn't notice a difference. Everything Hannah planned is working. She's there for the endgame. She didn't want her second choice but didn't allow her buddy to have him either. The key word was "shut up girl, it's none of your business." Leo deserves her. Monica. Ms. Plantation treats her husband like a butler. How does she stay so thin? She doesn't move. He gets everything for her. Everything but flowers and gifts because you can't show love without cash. She shushes him like a dog when she thinks it's her turn to talk. "Who's a good doggie?" What has she done to deserve gifts? Tim and Alex. I don't remember their tiff but it rang a huge alarm. She was off and listless. Marissa and Ramses. Somewhere in her sea of militarism was a hot dick, I'm sure. Why else talk about it incessantly? Why doesn't she just blowhorn into Ramses ear that he better be toxic or the fumes aren't happening. I wanted to invite Monica over to shush her. 11-Oct-2024
S7E6. The Lacheys provided an environment that would make the meekest male contestant undress. Hooray for us. Even though the hairier ones set off panic buttons, the men were all lovely and diverse. Ramses deserves a better backstory and a tremendous makeover. Representing a time not connected to us isn't cool. Stephen is a nice man awakening to nefarious deeds. I want a Tyler doll with clothes and without options and a reasonable licking rate. Tim is as shy as a butterfly. Nick D. is a gnome gone hot and it's hard to describe why. If men don't want to be used for their money, they shouldn't talk about it incessantly. "It's like he's asking for it. Should I take it, should I not? Is it impolite to refuse? Is it legal?" Leo equates success with love. His spidey legs are tingly with a drop of venom. Garrett is all smiles, ready to crack. Tim is the cutie with no thigh time and a future mama that doesn't know how to kiss his insecurities goodbye. Squish and water make for magnificent foreplay. Bohdan was the prettiest and most dangerous. 13-Mar-2024
Monsters: Menendez Brothers (2024)
The end road was chock full of accomplished performances. Mr. Lane tapped into heartache and regret and transmitted it to the audience. It was sheer strength. Leslie Grossman found a character that matched her skills like a glove. She was fun. Chavez built as his character progressed. A little askew, unsure but learning. The "cry" bit was genius. Koch appeared wallflowered but eager to surprise. He wore those glasses like Joan Crawford would, with confidence. A very capable group of actors. A hurricane of thoughts strikes briefly to annihilate jury members' votes. It was compelling. I didn't recognize her but there was something about the voice, legend and talent that felt like home. When I realized it was Ms. Lawrence I applauded. The final flashback back-pedaled all the emotions and perceptions that transpired. My vote didn't matter because they figured it out for us. The idea that the parents were blameless because their crimes were invisible does not free them of guilt, sin or karma. The only fact I'm sure about is that the eggs wouldn't have cracked if the parents hadn't laid them. 26-Sep-2024
S1E6. Art no longer belongs to the creator once someone else experiences it. It evolves, balloons then remains stagnant. The brothers are handsome and well-cast. The constant affection between them signified an unbreakable bond. Paying attention is necessary to reap the benefits of arcs and surprises. Sevigny is so accurate in her portrayal that she becomes as lost in the story as the real mother did in life. Good work. Javier is a beautiful monster that masters gut wrench and authority. Episode 6 was, so far, the best. The sex, abuse, the heritage, the privilege and mental enslavement were given honest and heartfelt consideration. It was the first time in a long time that I felt akin to characters that represented me. (It's not always about color, most of the time it's about shared experiences.) Brilliant direction and colorful words added to the episode's crescendo. 25-Sep-2024
Deon Cole: OK Mister (2024)
A hearty laugh from a perceptive and instinctual comic. 25-Sep-2024
Accidente (2024)
It rivets early but the cast kept chugging. An accident occurs that tests the strength of several families. Intriguing twists kept me interested. The fault of the accident was misfortune. The actors appeared hired from mysterious little black books. All fuckable. Charro should get an award for making toes curl. That gorgeous motherfucker. I noticed mexicans have perkier asses than other boys. I couldn't find a flat ass. Even the little ass was perky. The story didn't know when to quit and cash in their chips. It became melodramatic and telenovela centric. The players pulled their weight but gravity matter ignored them. The story became too coincidental to explain. It over reached. Fun was had and some surprises worked but the teapot wasn't hot enough to make tea. 03-Sep-2024
Bromans UK (2017-)
An International Male catalog with skimpy naked men that should be licked. 31-Aug-2024
Bachelorette, The (2003-)
A neither would be most welcome. 30-Aug-2024
Dude, these guys are creeping me out. 30-Jul-2024
Aaron left. Of course she did. 24-Jul-2024
I hope this child has a lot of protection. How do you choose among wolves? Aaron is representing the LGBTQ community. Devin is all mouth. He can please casting but can he woo a woman? Should he even try? Hakeem has never watched an episode of the Simpsons. Jonathon looks like the kind of guy that would fuck your brains out until he gets Britney's number. Sam has a very pretty face. What's his sexual problem? Everyone acts like their agents taught them how to act. I pity the fool. 18-Jul-2024
Love Is Blind Mexico (2024)
In some cases it has to be. Neither sex display longevity skills.
She: Can he afford rent?
He: please be fuckable.
She: I lied in the pods about the quantity of children I have. Will he still babysit?
He: I hope she doesn't smell.
She: how dare you!
When my mind drifted I visualized an even faster and tackier method of hooking up. A gloryhole. The boys stick it in whatever sounds good and whichever female produces first will officially get married on live TV. The contestants are bold and calculating. I've endured 3 proposals and I'm not even done with ep. 2. Man cannot control woman unless he marries her. 11-Aug-2024
Love Island UK (2019-)
Women are pursuing these motherfuckers because there is a cash prize at the end, correct? I don't remember Reuben. There was nothing to latch onto. Josh must choose to be blacker or whiter. Yes, I had a doll that looked like Blade. Hugo combs his hair in reverse. I bet Konnor is a fantastic one nighter. Will must be hung. Joey is a doll. Sean is Jimmy Oleson. Ayo, we pray for you. I would have barbecued Trey like he was a lobster. Moziah reeks of beauty and nature. Ciaran has too many identities going on. 11-Jul-2024
House of Heat (2024-)
They look, talk and walk like ducks but don't like being called ducks. Only Fans creators are thrust inside a fish tank so they can observe, teach and grow their businesses. Some peel their clothes off while others tease it. Everyone is judgmental, scared and hostile. It was difficult to side with anyone because a lot of them believe they have the answer to surviving the mess they're in. Chase's beauty kept melting off the more he talked. The gay couple was so united in their bond that there was no space to breathe. They clung dependently like Venom and Hardy. The straight couple only had sex with each other on camera. They were special. She wanted to hold on to chastity. Any man that needs to fuck so many times a day already cheated and had the threesome she denied him. Brother gay with an appealing body needed to purse his lips, not glow them. The arguments are loud, repetitive and frustrating. Maybe the creators will realize the answer when they are outside the box. I don't know the answer but I know how it ends. The women questioned everything and added motives later. We never got an answer to the smelly pussygate dilemma. Was she sexually violated or were men just being themselves? Is that the reason we have to label everything? To distance ourselves from others? They close every argument like there will be a sequel. I wish my brain would function as fluidly as these creators. It made the cuckoo in my head clock pop. They are killing the mystery of the fantasy by telling too much. 29-Jul-2024
Perfect Match (2023-)
Finale. Nick rocked a shorts suit and I liked it. The stylist that decided to put long pants on Harry should've been reprimanded. Mama mia worked extra shifts so as not to return home to her daughter. I think I know why I made my GI Joe Kaz a bottom. Bryton won the thigh competition and a motorboat invitation. If Nigel were a GI Joe I would play with him. Izzy's date with Jessica consisted of him being an upside down Spider-Man dripping sweat down her throat. It all went downhill fast. He came to life at the party and looked like an adorable in shorts and white socks. Prince Eric tried to convince the voters that he was in love with his mermaid. She wasn't just a catch. The mermaid was caught off guard and sounded even phonier. The contestants voted with their hearts and surprised everyone. It had an I hate you all vibe. 22-Jun-2024
Hot diggity damn, Nick! Full shots of hunky men sitting in shorts while confessing, was priceless. Nick was naughty. Jess is so independent that she can raise her daughter without ever being seen. Harry. Why do men always have to explain themselves? Harry kept repeating Jess' daughter's name like he knew her for years so she would believe him and fall in love. "Jess, fuck his brains out until he can't walk but do not bring him home." All Harry wants is a luxurious leg massage and to be reminded of how beautiful they are. The men stood up for themselves by being quiet. The girls fought amongst their own with no perfect match to support them. When Kaz decided to sample, I understood his psychology. Beauty belongs to everyone. Perfect match should see him alone at toga parties. The blonde with the tresses and the big eyes looks like Emma Stone. Prince Eric's mindset lacked etiquette and consideration. A shark. Izzy did his best. He sort of memorized the producer's script and there were cue cards everywhere he looked but dude couldn't stop being awkward. I still dig the face. 15-Jun-2024
I always returned G.I. Joe Kaz to his manly state. Even though I washed the make-up off there were shadows. The moment Pazuzu noticed, G.I. Joe Kaz mysteriously disappeared. 08-Jun-2024
S2E2-5. Harry was not stirring my pot until I noticed his thigh to leg ratio. I boiled, my lid began to shake, float and rise. I noticed that there was a lot of that. It almost repaired my soul. When Jessica confessed to having a child, Harry asked where she was. Exactly! We've seen more of Jessica than her daughter has. Prince Eric from an off-broadway production of The Little Mermaid was returned to sea many times but somebody always rescued him. Fuck, I'd probably rescue him too if he didn't talk. I will ask no questions before night, night and I need to call him Eric. The sea is full of mermaids. My other G.I. Joe doll looked like Kaz. He was a soldier in green combats. I tore up his uniform, created a wig out of his undershirt, painted his face and made G.I. Joe Nick fuck the shit out of him. 08-Jun-2024
S2E2. Ack! 08-Jun-2024
S2E1. We don't watch Izzy because of the way he talks, we just want to lick him and squish him. Izzy hooked up with a goddess, it took him 23 minutes to finish. He spent at least 20 minutes in the bathroom and three minutes convincing her it would be good for her career. Nick almost lifted his skirt. Thighs for a later episode? Boy, he's got some daddy legs. Nice. He looked like one of the G.I. Joes I played with as a kid but shinier. Some cocky dink bragged that he was gifted a cookie for providing a great fuck. Dude, I got a whole house and did nothing! Stevan's tattoos were more aggressive than he was. The soft boys were being traded for angry chokesters they can't control. Women have permission to be promiscuous if they sign off on it. 08-Jun-2024
Something tells me that most of the men and half the women, would have found a perfect match had they cloned Francesca. Abbey decided to strip the thighmaster of his crown and knight him a dick. 02-Mar-2023
A questionable sex partner sort of dumped Francesca. Yippee! He did it so he could stay and torture the fuck out of the man inside her. In the last aired episode he shaved his body to look more like a bitch. A gorgeous virgin who promises sex only in marriage is mandating that a partner suffer poor sex for the rest of their lives. He's not a lover, he's your brother. 24-Feb-2023
They should give camera people a special award for rewarding viewers with juicy thigh shots. The party started as soon as the Thigh King twitched in his shorts. They were everywhere. I haven't caught up yet but I hope somebody dumps Francesca. All she's doing is trying on different dicks. Like they were dresses at a bargain basement store. That poor sad flat black boy. 22-Feb-2023
Bridgerton (2020-)
Colin loved Penelope like a brother and took passion out of romance. She should've courted Eloise, or at least, Genevieve. A lesbian wedding a must enjoyment. Polly Parker convicted herself as a single woman having to do it all. Two daughters are spoiled and the other lives on social media clouds. Polly turned a villain into a worthy victim and the daughters were hilarious. Cressida is a character for the ages. Madsen slipped into gregarious outfits and ate evil little bitch as a protein. She was awesome. Nicola supplied the right amount of blood. I think Bailey was wasting his humps on a pillow. His wife checked out. Easy fix. She transforms into a man and returns as the beautiful black prince from the first season. The wife wont get fired. They can dedicate a season or two to exploring how she became. I will have a squish party if the boxer comes out or disrobes (not in front of the wife, of course.) It transports us to a beautiful, outlandish, artistic world. 19-Jun-2024
S3E5. The only bump I want to see is on Jonathan Bailey's bum. Colin did not eat Pen like a french pastry and she didn't knock the salt off his pretzel. Intimacy skied into sibling fuckery in frozen waters. He needed to tongue her down, squeeze and suck the shit out of that bounty and impress her and us with Bridgerton "John Holmes" dick. Excellence returned with a sense of humor. Mama and daughter Bridgerton need to swap partners. One deserves a virgin and the other is boring. Can Will Mondrich come out too? 17-Jun-2024
Interracial coupling was not natural. Mrs. Bridgerton didn't freak out and the daughter didn't scream rape because he was dainty, dark and didn't like to talk. 28-May-2024
Are we ever going to see a man work? The owner/bartender doesn't count. He only serves drinks when he's there which is rare. 28-May-2024
Season 3. The most edible one needs to stop the presses. Is it always going to be about the denial that hate is love, marriage is a must and density will guide the way? I mean't destiny. I'm disappointed. The black talent brought it up a notch. Lowering it would have added character depth. "You wowed us." "Provoke me to empathize."
28-May-2024
Season Two was as beautiful as one of Lord Bridgerton's ass muscles. Queen Charlotte. Lady Danbury. Lady Bridgerton. Lady Portia. Eloise. Pen. Wigs. Costumes. Romance. Moooah. 30-Mar-2022
S1E8. A woman wraps up the marriage contract when she can birth a good shank to serve the round table. Men like ideals in women's heads so that our explanations make sense to them. It was brotime, sweetie! They took the cultures out of the equation. We judge them individually. Every actor willed good force. It was fun, it was camp, it was time and we're in it. The ending was delicious and I'm trading the duke in for the boxer. The duke has an "I'm so pretty" snarl. The other looks like my camper. Good job. 28-Dec-2020
S1E7. Mid-thru is an explanation of how black culture became elite. I bought it. The series needs more scandal and debauchery though. I'm replacing yes, daddy with yes, duke. 27-Dec-2020
S1E2. Not necessarily the show I want to binge on after mother telling me my black is white but it's Shonda so I'll give it a go. The shock of seeing black empowered gentleman and ladies of the pre-Victorian era makes my brain explode with fact check assumptions. I don't because I want to accept it on its own merit. Most of the cast whistles, foams and pours whilst the rest couldn't get out of their modern heads. The business at hand is to score the most pristine and delicate virgin hopefully with fine manners (a "yes girl") to fulfill a man's dream of future family and success. A woman's power is to profit from the business, band and thwart any mismatch that might bring a daughter harm and make sons proud. Shonda adds her sight of man appreciation, Shondaspeare fast talk and on your knees intrigue. I remember Nicola Coughlan because I wanted to eat her like she ate that cake. She's delicious. The picture for myself didn't get any clearer because I'm watching black people pretending to live whites lives. It makes the future modern brain wonder what the hate was all about. 26-Dec-2020
Summer House (2017-)
Reunion Pt. 1. Dude, Carl has Ozempic neck. Ciara confused a fuck for a marriage proposal with ten kids. Whatever Wes is hiding must be inside his underwear because the part in his hair reminds me of a barber shop quartet. Lindsay and Carl are both liars except the giant slayed his prey with one cancellation. Why wasn't Robin Hood sitting on Amanda's lap? Isn't his ass worth it? 07-Jun-2024
Paige schooled Ariana DeBose on what a mentally challenged slut is. Is Robin Hood aware that we can flip him like a pancake and concentrate on that instead? Ciara kissed the aioli and didn't throw up. Gabby's problem is that she can't hit someone. Ariana DeBose? Bravo is not like BET. Carl needs to know that he can also be flipped and motor boated from behind. 27-Apr-2024
Ariana DeBose can replace Danielle and nobody would notice. Can Ciara please stop pretending to like white people? Can Lindsay stop pretending that there isn't more to her and the balloon guy than previously suggested? Is she diddying him to other girls? Is Amanda unaware that any man would eat and massage Robin Hood's ass if he asked? Is Lindsay aware that anybody would motorboat her giant, without asking, because of his hairy thunder thighs? 15-May-2023
Is dating Lindsay making the giant's hands smaller? 12-Mar-2023
Ultimatum: South Africa (2024-)
I don't know if the individuals were breaking the rules or there were none. By episode 3 almost all the strangers hooked up, in one way or another. Some went all the way and others were inconclusive. One girlfriend cheated because she couldn't feel her husband's penis inside her. TG she found a cocky asshole to fill her side panels. Their partners were embarrassed and gaslighted. The white couple seemed out of sorts. She probably had a fantasy of trying a black man that he went along with because it stalled marrying her. She partnered with a horny boy who kept begging for it. White boy was partnered with a sad woman that had no idea why her boyfriend was enjoying the experience and lying about it whilst she was stuck with a white boy. The goldigger had every reason to want a real man with money and the men had every right to dump her. Men ask that a woman be respectful, a cook, attentive, a womb, a slut and someone that believes everything he tells her. They want to impregnate them so they can enjoy, at least, six months of guilt-free cheating because they need to fuck and they don't want to hurt the baby. I imagined Nick stuttering and Vanessa fainting at the reunion. It would have been hilarious. Book them tickets! 15-May-2024
Shogun (2024)
Powerhouse acting, words on defense and beauty on blast. It was a poem about life. Fighting for faith is not the same as fighting for yourself. Freedom depends on that acknowledgment. Cosmo Jarvis had Ryan Phillippe looks and a great butt but he didn't need them. His eyes sparkled with information and coquetry. His voice, manly and protective. His gestures great and small. He also supplied some of the funniest bits. Hiroyuki Sanada was kingly. He cast vibrations just being. The writers understood that Anna Sawai was representing historical heritage. They made sure that her empowerment was befitting to her surroundings and that she apply it. Boy, did she ever. Suffering makes a hero, conviction makes a fighter and death equals longevity. The squad was perfection. 23-Apr-2024
E9. Mariko's heroism and heartbreak puts every female superhero actress to shame. 22-Apr-2024
Eventful television. 23-Mar-2024
Ripley (2024-)
Johnny Flynn did not make me understand why anybody would envy Dickie's life enough to steal it. Dakota Fanning was misused. She never really progressed past her harsh demeanor. She needed the director to shake the professionalism out of her. She was supposed to be the heart and the meat of the story but there was little proof the character had any. I would have air horned her when she couldn't say Dickie with a straight face. Why were the details so repetitive and why did I have to look up Caravaggio to understand what the killer was all about? Because, besides talking to dead people, it's complicated. Inspector Ravini added a shot of testosterone to the murky blunders. He was a beautiful respite from Ripley's underwhelming reactions. Unfortunately, the Lucy episode betrayed him. The idea that Scott could play both characters in front of an expert investigator, whilst sporting a goatee and messy hair and not get found out was a slap in the face of the entire investigation and series. Even Ricky wasn't that stupid. Ripley never got to spaz out. Bummer. Dickie was never pictured in the papers when they thought he was missing and when he was wanted for murder. The cops didn't go door to door with a picture of Dickie asking the hotel clerks if they've seen this man. Why? Woodbine showed up again for no reason other than to fill his quota. He also kept his eyes mostly closed. Comprehension did not seem feasible at that point. 19-Apr-2024
E5. You can't ask a fish to play a canine. Instead of using it's time to add depth to other characters it kept depending on only one artist. It is not feasible that a person of his character would return to the scene of the crime and less feasible that nobody would care. Details that read well were ignorantly distributed. I read the original book, was entertained by the film and remembered it wasn't this boring. 17-Apr-2024
E3. Of course I'm still mad that they didn't supply any crayons for the coloring book but papito's italian accent made up for it. He added finality to certain words and made them linger with musicality. I crinkled half the book joyously laughing. I pinched him and hugged myself. 16-Apr-2024
E2. I'm losing patience. It doesn't matter what spectrum an actor falls into, when asked to play a boy, they better act like one. 14-Apr-2024
E1. Black and white can be a statement, the past and or a representation. Schindler's List was black and white so the violence wouldn't be glamorized and the subject exploited. I have no idea why this interpretation needs to be in black and white. It's insurmountable misery. The ambience is french/italian movies from the 60's that bored or didn't easily make sense. It shouldn't be noir. Paper Moon? The Little Rascals? It's not Hitchcock. If the black participants hadn't kept their eyes open, I wouldn't have noticed them. I recognized Woodbine's name after the credits. Who did he play exactly? Yes, the shadow at the bar. The mystery sweeps, the movement is slow but the leads keep you interested.
(Cutest swimsuit ever!) 13-Apr-2024