All Posts Tagged as 'Ear Prick'
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Camp Getaway (2020-)
It needs a serial killer. 13-May-2020
Of course, I was going to hate it. Wrecked performances, grave CGI, clipped penises and roach choreography. I couldn't finish it. 09-May-2020
Frozen II (2019)
Its beauty is deceptive.
There is no thought or flourish to the story and no realism to the dialogue. Children have deeper conversations than this.
They are constantly bombarded by magical things, yet still wonder at the next.
The songs are its enemy. The songwriters write songs for talkers not classically trained singers. The musical artists could not wrap their talent around them. The words weren't tonal or melodious. (A thesaurus might have helped.) Each song was a giant whoopee cushion to the ear.
I wished the snowman had melted. (I'm sorry, I've spent too much time with Gervais.)
The presentation is built to make a grown man cringe.
If it weren't so gorgeous, I'd stop fucking it.
Bring on number 3. (Sigh) 02-May-2020
Tiger King (2020-)
S1E3. I'm neither addicted, intrigued, impressed, or willing to give a shit. 01-Apr-2020
I tuned in out of curiosity and to give its subject, the benefit of the doubt. I wasn't raised in an environment where I thought hooligans were cute and my idea of celebrating such buffoonery leaves me speechless. Not one soul appears to have one and the glorification of fake swagger has me flatlining. I don't believe in fucking with mother nature or God's fucking plan and I don't believe in making a profit from exploiting it.
(If I change my mind I'll expose myself again.) 01-Apr-2020
I don't do well with first-person because its film rolling on inanimate objects (people included) that are restricted. A fantastic one connects what we see with what we imagine. A disappointing one makes a straight beeline across a rudimentary device. The creep in question is just an exasperating real estate agent with constant jabber and little realization. The one behind the camera could have offset the other's nonsense with the snappy quips his screams intimated. The axe received the most character development. The "s" word comes to mind but I refuse to use it. 01-Apr-2020
Beyond The Door (1974)
Trying to recreate the horror of The Exorcist on a scaled budget and via a disorderly presentation. The soul music was vibing but out of place. The shocks consisted of kids swearing, getting buckled and mama make outs. Juliet Mills succeeded wiping out sweet "Nanny and the Professor" memories and replacing them with disturbing ones. It had some effective scares that would have triggered had they been taken seriously. 29-Jan-2020
Invaders From Mars (1986)
Tobe and company add too much silliness to the story, the aliens look like ugly toys you win for free and the only alien needed was underutilized (Louise Fletcher.) She knows scary. 31-Dec-2019
Christmas Survival (2018)
I could only survive 15 minutes. 08-Dec-2019
Carol's Second Act (2019-)
It has a problem growing up. 08-Nov-2019
Why is Patricia Heaton acting like she switched bodies with her teen granddaughter? 27-Sep-2019
I'm Just Fucking With You (2019)
Testing our tolerance of obnoxious or "Joker 2." 16-Oct-2019
It thought Three Stooges hilarity could save it. Helen Slater, her costume and her hair legitimizes it and Bochner doesn't hurt but everything else is bargain basement. I quit it because I didn't feel like falling asleep for a third time. Nobody cared. 12-Oct-2019
The horror is rendered by characterization and the abomination is in how viciously they get treated. It may be novel for a disaster movie but it damages our senses. 04-Oct-2019
I-Land, The (2019-)
Unbearable characterization and no adept drivers washing ashore. Out. 27-Sep-2019
I'm on the third episode. The curiosity is minimal, actor attitude is on high alert for no apparent reason and the dialogue is banal. Only a driver, expert at U-turns, can save it. 24-Sep-2019
Mary Poppins Returns (2018)
I had to quit. Just when I was getting accustomed to the hyper tension, they sang. 25-Sep-2019
Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)
Captain Sandy finally twirled her balls and her skirt. 25-Sep-2019
The Flintstones put aside shenanigans to celebrate hard work but only the certified kind. Gifted is out, snobbery is forever. 20-Jul-2019
Wet snouts all season. 12-Sep-2018
I guess its okay to present a woman with an unknown penis if it has vodka in it. 18-Jul-2018
The client reference sheet for food exemplifies how the rich can add waste to the environment. 13-Jun-2018
Rules and liability specifications are locked, there's room for us to guess which crew member will fuck up the hardest and the first clients were "Plantation Rich" (they think having money means they pay for enslavement.) 16-May-2018
Highlights include a lady captain and a lamentable pup, love-thrashed by a pocket siren that exhumes growls and sniffs from the male crew. Hannah quips her way through most of it but then succumbs to the lunacy that all are indulging in. Kate, your turn. 16-Aug-2017
It's everything the initial is yet augmented in the unbalanced crew department. The commander seems perplexed by his spiky helpmates and we shall be banqueted until our brains too become unhinged. It's a preferable fix to the housewives and it fulfills AHS: Asylum munchies. The hottest is the most baked. 30-Jun-2016