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All Posts Tagged as 'Preachy'

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Love Is Blind (2020-) Howl

Reunion. I know Izzy was there so I could mentally lick him from head to toe and tongue the thing that he finds so interesting in his mouth. Every time Clay talked I wished they had cut to Izzy. I think his therapy was acting classes. He was a Shakespearean ham. If he really tried psychotherapy I want proof. Show us how many anti-psychotic meds they prescribed. Jimmy got dragged because he can't tell time, has a big dick, awesome teeth and tells women the truth. Geez, does that mother spend any time with her daughter? Dude, what happened to You? He looks like his pregnant wife. Nick cleared the Lacheys from any liability. The reason that they failed at marriage isn't the Lacheys fault. The contestants' parents suck. Clay and the other homeless got to eat one more free meal before they start begging for future dinners. 13-Mar-2024
What part of "I'm engaged to a dick" did AD not understand? The latina has no idea what it's going to be like to share a blue eyed baby maker with her friends. She might have to slash some tires. Jimmy's speech was arousing. I had a desire to squish his face and lick his teeth again. The only parts of a fairy tale that are true are the bad ones. It's immature to keep believing in them. 07-Mar-2024
Forget thighs, we've got some roasted turkeys this season. Nick, you sly dog you, for teaching married eeked out men that they too can enjoy life after blind marriage.

If we have to change so much to maintain a relationship, then what is the point of being ourselves? They should add acting classes to sex education. 23-Feb-2024
E6. Unless Nick Lachey does something drastic, like wear shorts or tights, thigh season is over. Meet and greet was made uncomfortable by three Razzie nominees. Not only was AD not Barbie, she wasn't even Barbie's black friend. Petite means childlike. How could she not understand the reference? Her intense desire to get married trumped it. Clay can recognize that she is beautiful but she doesn't fulfill his type. He played along because it's better than waiting for his mother's social security check to deposit and he gets to eat fine food in paradise for free with a bombshell woman that his dick wont glide into. At the reunion, AD lent all the men her flopping attention, pinpointed her fuck target as Chelsea noticed and put one on her. The most hilarious meet and greet happened to Jimmy, his car salesman pitch, sexy tone and granite (but squishy) conceit, made it obvious to the audience that he was displeased when he saw her. He stopped before sitting to look at the camera directly and threaten it. He lied and charmed but kept giving clues to the viewers that yes, I'm no prince either but I have smooth skin, a cheeky smile, some hair, squishiness, and a pouch that's full. At the group honeymoon, Jimmy focused on AD's chest and wanted everybody to know it but especially AD and his fiancee. The way he approached AD is probably the same way he approaches all scared women wherever he goes. The first red flag was his face because all you can say to it is "what a bad boy you are" and lick his teeth. Laura is the last nominee. She did better than the guys but her compliments flitted by and bit. During the honeymoon she insinuated that fiancee's penis was as big as a baby banana. He pretended not to hear her. I can't wait until she shares the anecdote with the group. If you use gorgeous and beautiful constantly as a description it loses its validity. It's also disingenuous. Jeramy might need evaluation. His immaturity is prepubescent. It looks like someone cheats. The Lacheys must do everything in their power to bring back thighs. Never tell your girlfriends about fiancee's dick. At least two will find it secretly tempting and doable. 17-Feb-2024
S6E1. I was starting to get worried. There were no man thighs worth motorboating. TG Trevor showed up and was appropriately dressed. He knows how to play the game. The male pods' temperature should always be much higher than the women's. Matthew has great talk but is pre-recorded. Clay asked AD to confirm she was a Barbie doll. That damn movie. 19-Oct-2023

Tags: Bad Acting, Corn, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preachy, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Travel, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Thoughtful

Filed under: TV

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13-Mar-2024


Trevor Noah: Where Was I (2023) WhimperEarly Exit

Noah plays Detroit and spends most of his time talking about Germany's history (who cares) and woke shit (ack) that is not proven. He thinks he was there. He has nothing relevant to say, is not as funny as Matt Rife and is a little racist. 28-Dec-2023

Tags: 2020s, Bad Acting, Cliche, Comedy, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Egotistical, Insulting, Pitchy, Politics, Preachy, Predictable, Stand-Up, Tacky, Tedium, Unfunny, Writ Basic

Filed under: TV

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28-Dec-2023


Love Is Blind (2020) Howl

Reunion. Kwame was looking real fine tethered to his million dollar mink. Was the derogatory remark Marshall used on Jackie, "trans?" How lgbtq of him. Prop Bro You changed his looks but kept Joe's drawl. The gorgeous mad mane was replaced by chemicals that flattened their splendor. He squished a bigger body and he gained an intellectual's beard. He's either hiding his identity, ready to disappear or he's playing Joe's stuntman for the final season of You. Original Joe decided to channel Cuban Pete. All he needed was a sombrero and a set of bongos between his legs. I never realized how much insignificance he applies to the person that couldn't be ladylike. I wanted to be an earplug stuck on a couch listening to the Yous whispering:

OrgU: I'm losing it brother

ProBroU: Cool it! Remember we have cages out there! Remember? (he talks low, droney and faster than it sounds)

OrgU: She's giving me anxiety. I Can't breathe. (can't breathe)

Slap!!!

Zack played a tune whose every other word was you. That's hilarious!

The king makes a cameo to show the world that he can create. 17-Apr-2023
Poor Kwame. Not for long. Hookers still exist and there is hope. Original You was a pretty creep. Super tight curls? Eh! Seems like they're hiding something. His pattern of speaking changed after the booth. He couldn't retain a lower, crisper register. I remembered because it shows up for the wedding but not for anything else. His voice is much squeakier. Did they really play serial killer music during Prop Bro's wedding decision? Friday the 13th type? Was that a heartbeat effect? Did she really call him You? Original You lives outside his head while Prop Bro You carries it like a burden. Original was modeled angelic and the other boob would be attractive if they soaped up more. Don't touch the hair, though, unless he's got unnatural stuff coming out of it. Prop has to act quickly and Original lets it build. Original is in the third stage of his assignment and Prop is one step ahead of him. Original has planted his seed but not gained ownership. 14-Apr-2023
S4E11. Prop Bro You hates strippers, especially unattractive ones. He usually eats them for lunch. When he was in the pool with Bliss he looked like he was imagining what parts of her he would fry first. If he were a serial killer that is. Chelsea kept acting the part even as a hairdresser burnt her hair. She's psychic too, like that pretty terrifying celebrity twink. She immediately pegged Kwame's sister because she was the only black woman to enter the bridal suite. 08-Apr-2023
S4E10. Somebody is a virgin because they haven't found a satisfying top. Prop Bros #3 tried to convince his fiancee's father to approve of him but he kept smiling like Joker and talking like You. Kwame found a way to excuse his fiancee's future disappointment. His mother. Jackelina is free to get fucked hard whilst Marshalll keeps looking the word up. 08-Apr-2023
S4E9. That lady Chelsea thinks that relationships are about being serviced. Kwame needs to fastball her. Marshall is petrified of vagina. Pretty eyes can't fuck. Jackelina, run! Zach is still property managing his You charisma. TG Bliss is desperate. If a man doesn't want to engage a partner in sex it's because he has an STD or doesn't have a knack for it. Dump. 07-Apr-2023
Original You's future father-in-law pegged him as a really nice guy or a serial killer. You slaughtered all of Micah's friends' vaginas in one swipe. That lady put a damper in the sportsman's itinerary of happiness by clamping down on a future litter. A contestant that was not mentally profiled accused her fiancee of not being man enough. She doesn't want attention, affection or walkouts. She wants to get banged hard. Cue sensitive fucking and mild spit. 01-Apr-2023
The women came to vamp and conquer men that will never satisfy them but hopefully, will keep them barefoot and pregnant with a ring on it. The feminist plan is to train men to lie about everything so the women can feel loved and acknowledged. A man will say anything to a woman for a steady prospective orgasm. It means less outside hookups, more money and lots of family time. The women turned the dating show into The Hunger Games because they hate other women. Hearing women fangirling to idiot things men make up, is disconcerting. The banter appeared read off a corny romance novel or movie, they memorized. When you swoon at bad singing you will regret it. Their were 2 Joes from You. One of them looked like an impassioned third Property Brother. The women that connived for them are not amused. Dude, Prop Bro is the hottest man there. It's okay. The contestants have realized that the purpose of the show is to get married and bear fucking children from all that they desire so they too can make regrettable choices in life. 15-Feb-2023

Tags: Bad Acting, Corn, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preachy, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Travel, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Thoughtful

Filed under: TV

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17-Apr-2023


Love Is Blind (2020) Howl

The thigh king made a slight return and nobody thought to make the reunion a pool party. The eye king also made a return to apologize to his foreign partner for being wildly attractive. Trust no man who proposes a second time like you didn't hear him the first. A girl with no mothering capabilities surmised that her children will be small because her husband's dick is. Brennon's game is not wholesome. 15-Feb-2023
No one recognized that Bartiste is the thigh king. I know daddy looked like Pebbles Flintstone but to me he was a Bam Bam Rubble. I wanted to pull it and give him a back bath. Cole showed off his thighs too. As if. The females called Cole a good guy then tore him apart in the description." "You fat shaming hoochie fucking dirty ass broke lying motherfucker evil spawn of satan with dreamy eyes." The women were so supportive of each other that they made Cole cry. Putting Vicks on the tips of his fingertips and rubbing his eyes worked. Colleen was petrified to look Cole's way. She did it in the intro and ticked uncontrollably away. She saw those eyes. Yikes. I think she might have wet herself again. If she did that means that she suffered the whole hour without a diaper change due to the lack of commercials. Guess who's available to fuck somebody's wife? Dude, she lives alone! 09-Nov-2022
The show wastes the contestants and their guests' time by planning a fake wedding in the hopes of both parties saying yes? How humiliating. Nick's idea, wasn't it. 08-Nov-2022
S3E8. Would the thigh king agree to abort a future serial killer? No one should have the audacity to bear humans that can't exist without immense help. A lot of these kids can't communicate how they feel. We interpret how they feel. How do we know they're not saying, "I hate you, I hate you". Where's daddy? Is he working his thighs again while I suffer in pain? Yo, barbecue pork is giving the king a run for his money. What a beautiful fuck roast. Bartiste can shed some hair on Andrew's cloud puffs. Brennan looks like that but can't make any money? Ooh. Colleen was not at the club 'til 2:30 in the morning, she was washing her panties. They take forever to dry. They got wet from all the attention Cole was giving her. Both Matt and Cole were more argumentative with their fiancees than they were with each other. Their confrontation was bullshit. Matt really said, "please, I'm begging you, don't fuck my wife" and Cole said, "I won't" but thinking, "I'm gonna fuck your wife". Raven is going to regret taking an Ambien. She's gonna be woozy afterwards. Raven should have paired herself with the other thigh master if she wanted to live comfortably. We know he's a super daddy because he continuously spit it in everyone's face. Fuck other people on the side and go shopping. 06-Nov-2022
S3E7. You must become blind if you want to find love. Bartiste has cheating pork thighs, Cole has fuck all the girls silly eyes, Matt has kick your ass for being a slut ticks, Brennan's eyes turn black when nobody is looking and SK is an Ambien pill (30 minutes in your system before it knocks you out). It's about immature women that read fairy tales as children and believe them. For men, it's a "How To Pick Up Vulnerable Chicks" guide. Lie, lie, lie. 06-Nov-2022

Tags: Corn, Crapfun, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Manipulation, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Preachy, Questionable, Reality, Relationships, Religion, Sex, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Trashy, Travel, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Thoughtful

Filed under: TV

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15-Feb-2023


Woman King, The (2022) Whimper

Not only were the true Agojie violent cutthroats they were also responsible for the massacre and enslavement of millions. According to historians the women were discarded third wives that husbands no longer found worthy of sharing a bed with. King Ghezo was one of the biggest slave traders of his time and trained the discarded women to massacre, sacrifice, enslave and sell men, women and children, no matter the tribe. The film fantasizes that the amazonian women formed their own empowerment group and conquered the white people that invaded them. White characters are sketched with no humanity which makes the action appear cruel instead of intoxicating. In the world of the living, the white people being fought were trying to abolish slavery and succeeded in killing the women instantaneously. Production was handed a bold cast to portray male versions of themselves. What a pity they couldn't find real women to emulate. 05-Jan-2023

Tags: 2020s, Action, By the Numbers, Chemistry, Cultural, Depressing, Dialogue Lament, Director Experiment, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Macho Posing, Manipulation, Over the Top, Political, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Retread, Revenge, Sap, Silly, Timid, Writer Weakness

Filed under: Movies

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05-Jan-2023


Black Adam (2022) Bites

Dwayne Johnson did not consider that the stoic and angry facade of an ancient god is not equivalent to Arnold playing a Terminator. A vengeful all powerful god would have much to express besides muscle matter. The skateboard annoyed me. Studious colored boys did not skate in our hoods. It attracted thieves that would steal it and smash it over our heads. Sarah Shahi played the only invulnerable man on land. At no time did we get to enjoy Noah Centineo's package, neither when he was big or small. Quintess' Cyclone consisted of a Quincenera elf suit and the special powers of Rainbow Brite. It does everything critics dislike about movies and more. Self-introduction, cheerleading, self-promotion, the jesus complex, preaching and copying things misunderstood. It's hard to tolerate a superhero with little vulnerability. It's like watching the same action gif over and over. 21-Dec-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, By the Numbers, Cliche, Comic Book, Depressing, Director Slouch, Disappointment, Fatigue, Over the Top, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Retread, Star Watt, Trashy, Wit Crack

Filed under: Movies

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21-Dec-2022


Jurassic World: Dominion (2022) Whimper

The dinos are stunning and grandiose, the familiar faces are warm, whatever stole Chris Pratt's mojo ain't giving it back and Bryce Dallas Howard would have stolen the whole shebang had someone written in a Tammy Faye Bakker impression. The movie confirms that in order to save the planet, we must die. (You didn't think we were sacrificing for us or our children, did you?) 11-Oct-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Big, Cold, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Fatigue, Music Swings, Over the Top, Political Satire, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Repetitive, Sap, SciFi, Silly, Star Watt

Filed under: Movies

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11-Oct-2022


DAHMER: MONSTER (2022) Woof

Cinematic art ceases during wind down when Ryan's team inserts modern politics into the victims' families' mouths. Little sympathy is garnered due to the hypocrisy that they expect the police to protect them but be hands off if they themselves commit a crime. You can't have it both ways. The sandwich inspired its most chilling scene. The addition of another gay monster killer paralleling the present one is terrifyingly well done. Evan Peters never lets go of his disguise, Richard Jenkins slaughtered, unrecognizable Molly Ringwald had moments, the actor who played Jesse Jackson was eerie good and Niecy Nash's character stayed too long but she remained great. In the end, everyone exploited a man who felt alive in killing because he was invisible through life. It's a disservice to the victims if we don't learn to protect ourselves from it instead of denying it. Dahmer had the last laugh. He is ever more present and his surroundings are all but invisible. 27-Sep-2022
S1E4. Evan Peters takes us inside a gay serial killer's monster bubble and he gives the impression that his art will be popping iteration balloons for years to come. Niecy Nash is that bossy bitch neighbor that's always in people's business that no one wants to hear but gets politically redeemed by being the right amount of bossy. Nash holds the note a second too long but her character sings. Richard Jenkins used craft in telling the story of a parent that feels pain for raising a monster. Michael Learned reminded me of mama Walton but later, vanquished it. She embodies the bitter old woman that supports you to be whomever you want as long as its made up at church. Did she inspire his racist thoughts? The show obsesses over bloody squishy things instead of sexy, kinky things. I hope it switches. Man's true nature is exposed during sex. At that time, the community agreed that he was scary as fuck because we would have fucked him...and died. Only a victim can describe a monster and only a monster can describe his family. The series proclaims that mothers should not have children if they are mentally suffering, a weird child best ignored is not a happy child, a grown father dissecting animals with his gay kid encourages human devastation, daddy keeps encouraging human devastation because he can't beat his wife and cops get punished for being sensitive to gays. Evan's thought process is to lay blame on the parents and make himself accountable for the joy that chaos brought him and because only fucked up parents can create such a fucked up kid. 23-Sep-2022

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Enthusiastic, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay, Good Acting, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mini, Politics, Preachy, Psychological, Sentimental, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful

Filed under: TV

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27-Sep-2022


Michael Landon: The Father I knew (1999) Arf

They asked a 6'3" player to act like a 5'9" giant dipper. Only women can feel the difference. Boy dreams of his celebrity father becoming a hero at home instead of inserting more strangers into his life. Celebrity boy rebels against father after daddy divorces the family for fresh "baby smell" poultry. The first time I witnessed a race to grandpa's lap crotch was the last time I blinked during any of the games. No offense Little Landon, but if you inherited his crotch, you'll be fine. 27-Feb-2022

Tags: 1990s, Accidental Watch, Bio, By the Numbers, Crapfun, Fun, Funny, Overcooked, Pitchy, Preachy, Relationships, Silly, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Basic

Filed under: TV

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27-Feb-2022


Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) Bites

Scripting black people to complain about cops and confederate flags is not thoughtful. Killing all the black actors anyway, is not giving a shit. Making me confused about female sexuality is a useless gay time thing. Leatherface is nothing without family dependability. He was the icing on the family cake. A family that celebrated meat, farming and death. Icing without cake is a blob. 22-Feb-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, By the Numbers, Cultural, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Horror, Over the Top, Porn Violence, Preachy, Repetitive, Retread, Scare Obvious, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Trashy, Wit Crack

Filed under: Movies

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22-Feb-2022


Crowded Sky, The (1960) Arf

It's a slow burn melodrama/disaster film. The legends emote, the daddies squish, twinx ponder and sluts can be redeemed if they stop kissing strange men and just marry them. Unlike the drama, the fifteen minutes of disaster are realistic and enlightening. 18-Sep-2021

Tags: 1960s, Accidental Watch, Action, Camp, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Sort of, Preachy, Relationships, Romance, Silly, Slow, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Crack, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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18-Sep-2021


Godzilla vs. Kong (2021) Arf

Kong vs. Kardashians. 10-Jul-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Action Stomper, By the Numbers, Dialogue Lament, Oncer, Over the Top, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Silly, Star Watt

Filed under: Movies

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10-Jul-2021


Pose (2018-2021) HowlUpgradeFull Moon

If you preach and back it up with great talent, you supersede. 30-Jun-2021
Gorgeous ladies...and men, musical zest, smashing show and a hopeful ending. It broke it and healed it...the heart. 28-Aug-2019
"The Man That Got Away." Judy defined it and Billy spelled it out. 25-Aug-2019
It gave us a vogue teaser, it made gold edible and the love story was sexy. 23-Aug-2019
Ryan's episode didn't hand me an enigmatic vogue but it gave me beauty of soul. 23-Aug-2019
Do I have to vogue to earn a gay family like this or is that sentiment stuck in the past? The show retains its high sheen fabulosity but ballroom direction needs to stress its entertainment notch in order to fly closer to Billy Porter's coordination. 21-Jul-2019
Earned. 23-Jul-2018
Squirt. 15-Jul-2018
The release was due to its faithful history and devotedly charged performances. 10-Jul-2018
Every week it grows in beauty and endearment. One more moon and Papa Murph makes me blow.

Christopher Meloni is now inducted into Daddy Squish Hall of Fame. 03-Jul-2018
It's about family. 27-Jun-2018
Ryan is tapping into the artistic awakening of its raw talent. Learning as they go. 24-Jun-2018
The seed has been planted but in order for it to grow it needs to escalate the celebration. 23-Jun-2018

Tags: 2010s, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Comedy, Cultural, Dance, Director Art, Drama, Elegance, Fashion, Funny, Gay, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Heartbreaking, History, Hot Swatch, Magic, Music Rocks, Musical, Nostalgic, Preachy, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Sexy, Squish Alert, Star Power, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Touching, Unity, Wit Snit, Writer's Peak

Filed under: TV

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30-Jun-2021


Wonder Woman 1984 (2020) Bites

Patty Jenkins went on a shopping spree with the film's budget. Did she leave most of it home? It opens with baby Diana discovering clever ways to somersault at the White Female Olympics. She's unbearable, I mean unbeatable even as a child. Cue applause and adoration. There should have been a lot of irony in a woman raised to best everyone, even in goodness. Years of not belonging in the world would have brought her detachment from it. She wouldn't fall apart over Steve Trevor and she definitely wouldn't pine for him for over a 100 years. Compassion is a side effect of a movement. Coldness is a statistic of war. Everything you hate about the movies is in this one. The older maidens are given minimal time. (They didn't study their accents, again.) Cheetah might have been intriguing as a black character with white superiority issues. Yes, make it a race thing. Pedro Pascal left his guts on the floor while Ms. Jenkins took a nap. Steve's explanation for existing in the future was best established on the 70s TV series. Future Steve could have been the great grandson of dead Steve. Incestuous hook-ups and emotional consequences. It would have been a great place to establish personal turmoil. Gadot needed to wear some of the tear in Wonder Woman's battle history to find her strength because it ain't crying.

Patty Jenkins killed Wonder Woman. 14-May-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Art Devoid, Brutal, Camp, Comic Book, Corn, Dialogue Lament, Director Experiment, Drama, False Action, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Sort of, Inactivity, Over the Top, Political, Preachy, Predictable, Preposterous, Relationships, Repetitive, Romance, Silly, Slow, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Timid, Trashy, TV-like, Unenthusiastic, Weird, Writer Humiliation

Filed under: Movies

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14-May-2021


Dad, You're Embarrassing Me! (2021-) Bites

Dad encourages daughter by pervading her life. Jamie Foxx' craft rolls like dice. He can be brilliant when he is focused and parented but left on his own his goofball can turn insufferable. He's fit, old fashioned beyond his years, paints side characters with no cracks or chips and no revelry and allows tight jeans with a mighty bulge to outshine him. He never embarrasses his daughter like the title says. He kept the bulge intimate. It's not the 80s. They missed out on comedic reactions from anyone besides his daughter. Please. The support is ready to do something. Only good writing can give it to them. Foxx is embarrassing his daughter by not gifting her a better show. I don't recognize any souls in this family. 19-Apr-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Disappointment, Drama, Incomprehensible, Preachy, Silly, Star Watt, Static, Stupid Funny, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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19-Apr-2021




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