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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Preachy'
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A film that didn't take advantage of all its possibilities. Though songs that didn't suck were beautifully sung the characters were flat like paper. An elimination of half the songs would have opened space to delve into Snow White and the Queen's relationship. I would have changed fairest and explored kingdom popularity. Gadot's character is doomed the moment the narrator emphasized how evil she was. She was misdirected and stifled when her natural accent would have added mystery to her persona. It also would have freed Gadot. The evil was basic and child's play. My favorite scene from the classic animation was the run through the forest. The 3D effect was mind tripping. A live recreation would have added much needed magic. If you're going to CGI the dwarves why make them ugly? They missed out on likeness and adorability. I would have nixed the "merry men" and concentrated on the ladies, dwarves and huntsman. She could've fallen in love with the huntsman instead of a merry man. Zegler comes alive when she sings but is immobile in expression. She's so intent on conveying a message instead of embodying a legend that she lends her character nothing. The climax disappoints because it doesn't really have one. It goes out with a whimper. I came up with at least 5 grand finales, including having the huntsman kill the Queen with an acquired weapon that is magical because she is invulnerable to everything else. The hope for greatness ballooned and imploded and they didn't know how to put the pieces back together. 29-Jun-2025
I tried watching through the eyes of a child and it confused me. What do you mean that man has my wish. I made ten wishes yesterday and two came true. I don't even remember that one wish everybody's talking about. Fuck it. It's only one. The film has Ariana DeBose energy and a Barbie stance. DeBose is so excited to show us what she's got that she faux climaxes before she has to. Some of the songs actually sounded musical. Pine's Shatner was so good that it stunk. The last man with a working penis is stealing little girl dreams. (None of the dreams were to marry a man to save them?) The women and some of their friends band together to destroy him. Some of the friends consisted of weak or mentally disabled boys and feeble grandfathers with no reach. I presume we had to look towards the animals to find culture representation. No gays in sight. Sophia The First looked better than this and brought the magic. One of Disney's junkiest animations. 28-Apr-2024
Not only were the true Agojie violent cutthroats they were also responsible for the massacre and enslavement of millions. According to historians the women were discarded third wives that husbands no longer found worthy of sharing a bed with. King Ghezo was one of the biggest slave traders of his time and trained the discarded women to massacre, sacrifice, enslave and sell men, women and children, no matter the tribe. The film fantasizes that the amazonian women formed their own empowerment group and conquered the white people that invaded them. White characters are sketched with no humanity which makes the action appear cruel instead of intoxicating. In the world of the living, the white people being fought were trying to abolish slavery and succeeded in killing the women instantaneously. Production was handed a bold cast to portray male versions of themselves. What a pity they couldn't find real women to emulate. 05-Jan-2023
Dwayne Johnson did not consider that the stoic and angry facade of an ancient god is not equivalent to Arnold playing a Terminator. A vengeful all powerful god would have much to express besides muscle matter. The skateboard annoyed me. Studious colored boys did not skate in our hoods. It attracted thieves that would steal it and smash it over our heads. Sarah Shahi played the only invulnerable man on land. At no time did we get to enjoy Noah Centineo's package, neither when he was big or small. Quintess' Cyclone consisted of a Quincenera elf suit and the special powers of Rainbow Brite. It does everything critics dislike about movies and more. Self-introduction, cheerleading, self-promotion, the jesus complex, preaching and copying things misunderstood. It's hard to tolerate a superhero with little vulnerability. It's like watching the same action gif over and over. 21-Dec-2022
Jurassic World: Dominion (2022) 
The dinos are stunning and grandiose, the familiar faces are warm, whatever stole Chris Pratt's mojo ain't giving it back and Bryce Dallas Howard would have stolen the whole shebang had someone written in a Tammy Faye Bakker impression. The movie confirms that in order to save the planet, we must die. (You didn't think we were sacrificing for us or our children, did you?) 11-Oct-2022
Texas Chainsaw Massacre (2022) 
Scripting black people to complain about cops and confederate flags is not thoughtful. Killing all the black actors anyway, is not giving a shit. Making me confused about female sexuality is a useless gay time thing. Leatherface is nothing without family dependability. He was the icing on the family cake. A family that celebrated meat, farming and death. Icing without cake is a blob. 22-Feb-2022
It's a slow burn melodrama/disaster film. The legends emote, the daddies squish, twinx ponder and sluts can be redeemed if they stop kissing strange men and just marry them. Unlike the drama, the fifteen minutes of disaster are realistic and enlightening. 18-Sep-2021
Kong vs. Kardashians. 10-Jul-2021
Patty Jenkins went on a shopping spree with the film's budget. Did she leave most of it home? It opens with baby Diana discovering clever ways to somersault at the White Female Olympics. She's unbearable, I mean unbeatable even as a child. Cue applause and adoration. There should have been a lot of irony in a woman raised to best everyone, even in goodness. Years of not belonging in the world would have brought her detachment from it. She wouldn't fall apart over Steve Trevor and she definitely wouldn't pine for him for over a 100 years. Compassion is a side effect of a movement. Coldness is a statistic of war. Everything you hate about the movies is in this one. The older maidens are given minimal time. (They didn't study their accents, again.) Cheetah might have been intriguing as a black character with white superiority issues. Yes, make it a race thing. Pedro Pascal left his guts on the floor while Ms. Jenkins took a nap. Steve's explanation for existing in the future was best established on the 70s TV series. Future Steve could have been the great grandson of dead Steve. Incestuous hook-ups and emotional consequences. It would have been a great place to establish personal turmoil. Gadot needed to wear some of the tear in Wonder Woman's battle history to find her strength because it ain't crying.
Patty Jenkins killed Wonder Woman. 14-May-2021
Patty Jenkins killed Wonder Woman. 14-May-2021
Romance is a concept. Love is that universal fantasy that can fix anything and achieve nothing. This film is an instructional manual on how an alpha can easily capture his sucker mate. It works for the sluts too. It's a fake luxury liner. Cinderella gains a selfish cousin and loses two step-sisters and an evil step-mother. She is now raised by an unconscious uncle whose stupidity is explained as a parental failure. The prince is a ginormous hairy butted banging bottom whose perfection was created from Jesus spit and is a representation of why women and twinks do video splits. If you can't recognize a person beyond a face mask you're full of shit. He expounds worship daddy constantly, celebrating the quantity of women beluga he's chipped. A Scooby Doo member is the fairy godmother, the men act like its an NFL recruitment session and the women compete to the death to get that middle cheerleading spot. The howls of orgasmic virgins drown out the Christmas bells and kill any sign of Christmas cheer. They want us to horn in but the prince's tights aren't tight enough. 29-Nov-2020
PC vampires arrive in woke world. They no longer bite but still have the ability to suck.
Charlize Theron squelches her sexuality to deliver macho posturing and adds no strength to female action fabulosity. A woman who obscures her sexuality is depriving the act of confidence and beauty. She was so serious and miserable.
The gays were cute for the moments they accessorized but the corn deep throated them.
The superpowers are not enviable and is a filmic excuse to watch people bleed out.
The "big bads" couldn't scare a bird away.
The story is refried beans with lesser ingredients and the action came straight out the can. 14-Jul-2020
Charlize Theron squelches her sexuality to deliver macho posturing and adds no strength to female action fabulosity. A woman who obscures her sexuality is depriving the act of confidence and beauty. She was so serious and miserable.
The gays were cute for the moments they accessorized but the corn deep throated them.
The superpowers are not enviable and is a filmic excuse to watch people bleed out.
The "big bads" couldn't scare a bird away.
The story is refried beans with lesser ingredients and the action came straight out the can. 14-Jul-2020
Four American vets return to Nam to pay homage to a fallen comrade and loot forgotten gold. Lee celebrates the culture and panders heavily to an aggressive media. Details are only heightened when its beautiful score stops waterboarding. It is only then that the daddies' concrete work is illuminated, the story gets a lift and though Lee is scattered, the drama delivers some insight. Do trees sap in the woods? Yes, indeed. 15-Jun-2020
Its beauty is deceptive.
There is no thought or flourish to the story and no realism to the dialogue. Children have deeper conversations than this.
They are constantly bombarded by magical things, yet still wonder at the next.
The songs are its enemy. The songwriters write songs for talkers not classically trained singers. The musical artists could not wrap their talent around them. The words weren't tonal or melodious. (A thesaurus might have helped.) Each song was a giant whoopee cushion to the ear.
I wished the snowman had melted. (I'm sorry, I've spent too much time with Gervais.)
The presentation is built to make a grown man cringe.
If it weren't so gorgeous, I'd stop fucking it.
Bring on number 3. (Sigh) 02-May-2020
There is no thought or flourish to the story and no realism to the dialogue. Children have deeper conversations than this.
They are constantly bombarded by magical things, yet still wonder at the next.
The songs are its enemy. The songwriters write songs for talkers not classically trained singers. The musical artists could not wrap their talent around them. The words weren't tonal or melodious. (A thesaurus might have helped.) Each song was a giant whoopee cushion to the ear.
I wished the snowman had melted. (I'm sorry, I've spent too much time with Gervais.)
The presentation is built to make a grown man cringe.
If it weren't so gorgeous, I'd stop fucking it.
Bring on number 3. (Sigh) 02-May-2020
I dreaded watching what appeared to be a Harriet Rambo adaptation that would diminish the heroism of a woman determined by life to save others. It does not succeed in bringing either woman to life. Cynthia Erivo has built too many walls to ease comfortably into suffering. The accent wasn't pure because her modern thinking interrupted it. Ms. Erivo forgot that heroes are badass after the fact. The direction is confused, insecure and skittish. You can't do nods to legends (Spielberg, Color Purple) without proper understanding of their work. The music was lovely, but it was constant and better suited for a video game. The performers weren't feeling it, it's not even a good TV film and it should have been a musical. 25-Apr-2020
I call myself erratic because I am. I presumed the group called themselves Queen because the lead singer was. Singer directs through a fog conveying no gay sensibilities or joy. He wasted high value entertainment opportunities. When Malek lip synchs he finds his Mercury but the act was teeth grinding. 09-Mar-2019
