Movies Posts Tagged as 'Preachy'
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Wonder Woman 1984 (2020)
Patty Jenkins went on a shopping spree with the film's budget. Did she leave most of it home? It opens with baby Diana discovering clever ways to somersault at the White Female Olympics. She's unbearable, I mean unbeatable even as a child. Cue applause and adoration. There should have been a lot of irony in a woman raised to best everyone, even in goodness. Years of not belonging in the world would have brought her detachment from it. She wouldn't fall apart over Steve Trevor and she definitely wouldn't pine for him for over a 100 years. Compassion is a side effect of a movement. Coldness is a statistic of war. Everything you hate about the movies is in this one. The older maidens are given minimal time. (They didn't study their accents, again.) Cheetah might have been intriguing as a black character with white superiority issues. Yes, make it a race thing. Pedro Pascal left his guts on the floor while Ms. Jenkins took a nap. Steve's explanation for existing in the future was best established on the 70s TV series. Future Steve could have been the great grandson of dead Steve. Incestuous hook-ups and emotional consequences. It would have been a great place to establish personal turmoil. Gadot needed to wear some of the tear in Wonder Woman's battle history to find her strength because it ain't crying.
Patty Jenkins killed Wonder Woman. 14-May-2021
A Cinderella Christmas (2016)
Romance is a concept. Love is that universal fantasy that can fix anything and achieve nothing. This film is an instructional manual on how an alpha can easily capture his sucker mate. It works for the sluts too. It's a fake luxury liner. Cinderella gains a selfish cousin and loses two step-sisters and an evil step-mother. She is now raised by an unconscious uncle whose stupidity is explained as a parental failure. The prince is a ginormous hairy butted banging bottom whose perfection was created from Jesus spit and is a representation of why women and twinks do video splits. If you can't recognize a person beyond a face mask you're full of shit. He expounds worship daddy constantly, celebrating the quantity of women beluga he's chipped. A Scooby Doo member is the fairy godmother, the men act like its an NFL recruitment session and the women compete to the death to get that middle cheerleading spot. The howls of orgasmic virgins drown out the Christmas bells and kill any sign of Christmas cheer. They want us to horn in but the prince's tights aren't tight enough. 29-Nov-2020
Old Guard, The (2020)
PC vampires arrive in woke world. They no longer bite but still have the ability to suck.
Charlize Theron squelches her sexuality to deliver macho posturing and adds no strength to female action fabulosity. A woman who obscures her sexuality is depriving the act of confidence and beauty. She was so serious and miserable.
The gays were cute for the moments they accessorized but the corn deep throated them.
The superpowers are not enviable and is a filmic excuse to watch people bleed out.
The "big bads" couldn't scare a bird away.
The story is refried beans with lesser ingredients and the action came straight out the can. 14-Jul-2020
Da 5 Bloods (2020)
Four American vets return to Nam to pay homage to a fallen comrade and loot forgotten gold. Lee celebrates the culture and panders heavily to an aggressive media. Details are only heightened when its beautiful score stops waterboarding. It is only then that the daddies' concrete work is illuminated, the story gets a lift and though Lee is scattered, the drama delivers some insight. Do trees sap in the woods? Yes, indeed. 15-Jun-2020
Frozen II (2019)
Its beauty is deceptive.
There is no thought or flourish to the story and no realism to the dialogue. Children have deeper conversations than this.
They are constantly bombarded by magical things, yet still wonder at the next.
The songs are its enemy. The songwriters write songs for talkers not classically trained singers. The musical artists could not wrap their talent around them. The words weren't tonal or melodious. (A thesaurus might have helped.) Each song was a giant whoopee cushion to the ear.
I wished the snowman had melted. (I'm sorry, I've spent too much time with Gervais.)
The presentation is built to make a grown man cringe.
If it weren't so gorgeous, I'd stop fucking it.
Bring on number 3. (Sigh) 02-May-2020
I dreaded watching what appeared to be a Harriet Rambo adaptation that would diminish the heroism of a woman determined by life to save others. It does not succeed in bringing either woman to life. Cynthia Erivo has built too many walls to ease comfortably into suffering. The accent wasn't pure because her modern thinking interrupted it. Ms. Erivo forgot that heroes are badass after the fact. The direction is confused, insecure and skittish. You can't do nods to legends (Spielberg, Color Purple) without proper understanding of their work. The music was lovely, but it was constant and better suited for a video game. The performers weren't feeling it, it's not even a good TV film and it should have been a musical. 25-Apr-2020
Bohemian Rhapsody (2018)
I call myself erratic because I am. I presumed the group called themselves Queen because the lead singer was. Singer directs through a fog conveying no gay sensibilities or joy. He wasted high value entertainment opportunities. When Malek lip synchs he finds his Mercury but the act was teeth grinding. 09-Mar-2019
Fist Fight (2017)
Instead of expounding on the challenges of education they blast the ridiculousness of adult immaturity. The overload of stereotypes swats the funny. 23-Nov-2018
Star Trek III: In Search of Spock (1984)
Generous in sci-fi spirituality but short in supplying the visionary actions that deflects from the nonsense. 12-Nov-2018
Big Chill, The (1983)
Abundant talent and beauty of superior beings conveying and pondering mid-life. The music is its only source of action because the talk is its core and rhythm. The resolution that sleeping with old friends is the cure for almost every ailment is irrational. 24-Sep-2018
Mrs. Doubtfire (1993)
When a director has an improbable script he assigns an adept talent that automatically enumerates sweetness and delight. It's all about Robin and we succumb. 05-Jul-2018
Black Panther (2018)
Gods and goddesses blessed with magical resources and riches hide under a celestial bubble fighting for their survival but sharing very little of it with the world and the neighbors they seem to emulate.
The accents waver, the muscle is weak and the girls fare better but not by much. The beauty of color keeps it alive but the 70's mod and religious adherence bring it outmoded corniness.
I celebrate its political success as I await to see an ethnic hero that embodies the film world with the same grace as its counter does. We have to start somewhere. 24-Jun-2018
Casualties of War (1989)
The director's presence and personality emblazons an already perplexed account of inhumanity in the midst of war. The shots are as unnerving as they are beautiful. The accents and the oneupmanship are overexerted but when the camera follows Fox and its victim (Thuy Thu Lee,) it allows them to speak hushedly, flatteringly and compassionately. 10-Jun-2018
Girl's Trip (2017)
I want more. I like to watch communities celebrated in the present. Hollywood likes to emphasize roots over continuation which allows for constant backwards representation.
The girls play it rough and nasty but we must remember that acting like what subjugates you only empowers temporarily. You've only traded places which generates the same cause with different leads. Camaraderie will grant you more empathy and admiration than swatting. We have been given the opportunity to redefine the world through art, lets show them how generous and welcoming we can be. Don't bash the men but outline the man you would like us to emulate.
The women made me laugh, brought star quality and made me listen, the material needs to match them.
James & the Giant Peach (1996)
Throwback art is where all the fun is at. 10-Jan-2018