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Ozark (2017-2022) Howl

S3E4. The Mexican cartel is insecure about everything. Jason Bateman became America's sweetest sarcasm when he laundered Rhoda Morgenstern's second career. Laura Linney was born to fuck and resent the men that make her life miserable. Janet McTeer took a Jane Lynch role and turned it into art. Ruth is my favorite person in the whole wide world. I want to talk like her but society would deem it appropriation, so I will only speak "her" when I'm alone. MicKinley Belcher the 3rd needs to come back and fuck something. I love "fuck you" shows. 27-Jan-2022

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Brutal, Chemistry, Crime Drama, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Drama, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Political, Relationships, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough

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27-Jan-2022


Hype House (2021-) Arf

A bunch of "could haves" combine business interests with personal relationships. The scheme collapses as soon as a "could have" becomes an "almost." The group may be responsible for creating a Beyonce but Beyonce owes them nothing. The commonality is that all the victims have been emotionally denied by someone important. The babies get lots of attention and money for doing very little. They are the future prostitute. Head twink is going ballistic because his partner is becoming famous and he's looking older. Connive he must. A bowl of white pretty boys, a plate of girls swooning and mouthfuls of queer things exaggerating everything, are the shared focus. Gay bleached boy calls out trans bestie for acting black on social media even though he's black and acts Puerto Rican. His gay friends are white who act black and can't be bothered with full drag. The trans pays to make her fantasies come true but is the loneliest. She can't afford to be real. The babies live in fear of cancellation. The pretty white twinks rule the roost with confidence and the thought that they will eventually get cooked, burnt and flamed out. No success in the world can replace the scars their families placed on them. It's the kids turn to tell parents how they're doing. "Yo, they fucked up and we're going to tell the whole world." If they're not happy now, they never will be. These are the great grandparents of the people Adam Mckay wants to save. Ha! 08-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Cliche, Corn, Crapfun, Drama, Fatigue, Funny, Gay, Gay Swatch, Political, Predictable, Pretty, Reality, Relationships, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

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08-Jan-2022


Hawkeye (2021-) ArfDowngrade

S1E6. The land of absolute magic couldn't accomplish turning a brilliant D'Onofrio into the behemoth that he deserves to be. How much ass kicking and arrow shooting can we take? It was a lost moment to be brilliant and make a childhood comic-book fantasy come to life. 03-Jan-2022
S1E5. Jeremy Renner plays "that little bitch" in his own series. The female "kickass" trope is extremely tired and damaging, to all sexes. Bad Russian speak has returned and I'm starting not to give a fuck. The MCU has created a complicated mythological puzzle that future audiences won't tolerate because they didn't live through it and will be too stupid to piece together. 01-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Action, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Drama, Fatigue, Pitchy, Political, Preposterous, Showy, Silly, Star Watt, Timid, Tired

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03-Jan-2022


Succession (2018-) HowlUpgrade

S3. Daddy Prince of Darkness battles it out with Daddy Succession Supreme. Every "fuck" made me hard, every "you" made me cum. Daddies were exploding beautifully. Women can sew their own armor. Shiv is beloved, mother is a cunt, Geri is the family dog, Roman is a mutt, Tom is bewildering, Willa keeps up, Connor won't give up, Greg is a kitten and Mencken is A game. The fight would add up to very little if the top masters didn't emote so precisely. Daddy Succession bleeds every decision to keep his dynasty and children afloat. All he wants is respect. Daddy Prince is impatient about the future. He wants to be woke, now, when it matters. Daddy S knows better. Daddy P always gets what he wants because Daddy S spoiled him. There is a study of art that defines Daddy P because of his intensity but when he calms and speaks his pathetic truth, we want to fuck him again. Yes, his pathetic is even hotter than his cockiness. It's called parenting. The writers convey our thoughts, instead of our speak because, in reality, we can't do so. But we would like to. We are not animals in cages. You cage the word and the animal comes out. Let it speak. The show spoke, delivered whoppers, kept to its guns and secured a successful season. 20-Dec-2021
Daddy suffering (Ken) hijacked it with an hilarious rap and alpha domination. I like to hear Shiv, I like to say Shiv, I love to watch Shiv. Holly Hunter (Rhea) is the clamped whisperer. When she nips it she doesn't let go. Tom shreds himself to death attempting to bare the soul of a character that rarely sees it. Culkin plays his character like he has no dick. Funny. Nobody messes with daddy. Writers that want to keep their jobs and a production that keeps on pushing it. It consummates on a boat big enough to fit two Below Decks in it. It was all about respect. 08-Aug-2020
The best corporate fuckers on TV. 06-Aug-2020
A malted shake with only whipped cream. That's a lot of protein. 24-Jul-2020
S1E3 found daughters giving handjobs, alphas verifying status on staircases and daddies snapping their tongues. I am no longer floating, my feet are firmly planted. 18-Oct-2019
Exposing how the family dynamic exploit each other for success. The sticks have returned:

Brian Cox - daddy doesn't need a stick

Nicholas Braun (Greg) - he'll carry anyone's stick

Alan Ruck (Connor Roy) - he licks them

Kieran Culkin (Roman Roy) - he shoves them up his nose

J Smith-Cameron - she's not carrying anyone's stick

Jeremy Strong (Kendall Roy) - alpha in the making swings his own. 18-Oct-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Chemistry, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Director's Slice, Drama, Elegance, From Another Planet, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Rocks, Political, Psychological, Relationships, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough, Writer's Peak

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20-Dec-2021


Coming Out Colton (2021-) WhimperUpgradeArf

The doc is about a lost boy who discovered his sexuality and needs to establish his purpose. His rock of friends are keeping him planted in religion and suburban magic. The gays just want to have sex. All the time. Every fucking minute of their lives. Colton is an alpha looking for daddy hugs. Daddies like babies. The classic gays add to the confusion. No one tells this young man the truth. Successful relationships don't occur that often, the more you fuck the better you are until that's all you have to offer and we will continue to have uncomfortable conversations about our love for dick, forever. Colton's attention span is limited. He appears as if the person recounting their history is speaking a different language and maybe they are. He doesn't fit anywhere and that's ok. Gus Kenworthy could not contain himself and flirted with Colton's hot dad. That was a real gay moment. 09-Dec-2021
Boy, does he ever. Colton blames the lack of good character on being a bottled gay. The series portrays coming out as a self-involved beauty pageant. I told my mother and she told the rest. Done. That's how latinos do it. I also told her over the phone so she wouldn't hit me. The family is cold. Relationships are strained. He has support because they need to continue riding the success wave in order to survive. Coming out is not the real story. Staying "in" is. 03-Dec-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Drama, Fatigue, Gay, Hot Swatch, Out of Place, Political, Reality, Relationships, Tacky, Weird, Writ Basic

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09-Dec-2021


Gentefied (2020-) HowlDowngrade

It got silly this season. Thanksgiving was a standout. It stopped preaching to deliver the passion of family celebration. It's about good food and the asshole who keeps bringing up the past. Daddy roared mightily. Cousin chef has great nips. His girlfriend has a full vocabulary. The lesbians are scattered. The characters are blanching because the spices are fucked up. It seems disrespectful to fight over a policy that has been acknowledged by all parties. 05-Dec-2021
Celebrating the heritage that creates a Mexican that all else take for granted. Choices are different for families that break their bones for the sustainability of another race. The fear arises when in order to subsist, the heritage dissipates... like plastic.. because its environmentally abusive in the land of the free. They're obnoxious, loud, tacky, sweet, lovable, squishy, touching, funny and bright. Gracias. 04-Mar-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Adorable, Chemistry, Comedy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Drama, Funny, Gay Swatch, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Lesbian, Music Rocks, Nostalgic, Political, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Tacky, Tough, Unity, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writ Tough

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05-Dec-2021


Mary Tyler Moore Show (1970-1977) Full Moon

S7E12. Ted is sexually harassed and Mary and Murray tease him into temptation. A man asks Murray out for a date. 24-Oct-2021
S7E7. The only way to deal with a gifted child is to beat the crap out of him. 17-Oct-2021
S7E6. Ted describes The Happy Homemaker as a pig in a trough on broadcast news. 15-Oct-2021
S7E4. How Mary, Lou and genius handle a "woke" feminist hired as a sportscaster even though she is unqualified and doesn't respect management. 15-Oct-2021
S5E21. Mary rocks stripper gear and a prostitute teaches Georgette how to call business clients "tricks". 11-Mar-2021
S5E7. The episode where Betty White outcunts Bea Arthur. 24-Jan-2021
S4E8. Grandmas get horny too. 24-Dec-2020
S4E5. Super silver daddy with big brother ass wears hooker pumps to work. Yum! 23-Dec-2020
S4E1. Before Betty White drowned us in honey she perfected an empowered slut known as "The Happy Homemaker." She is introduced during one of Mary's lousy parties in which Phyllis' husband takes her home and almost never returns. The affair is handled with aplomb. A well versed human rights campaigner versus an eager and empowered cunt. The ladies are fabulous, Mary has the best solution and Teddy/Aquaman was delicious. 20-Dec-2020
S3E17. Classic sex identification episode. It's Mary's first party, Georgette is on hand to steal it and Rhoda is dating Phyllis' brother whose meant for Mary. The adult banter is resplendent, the emotions are on cue and the acting is sublime. 05-Dec-2020
The better Mary's hair gets, the more brilliant the show. 26-Nov-2020
S1E22. The origin of twinks. 04-Nov-2020
Class Act. 21-Jul-2017

Tags: 1970s, Beautiful, Best In Comedy, Chemistry, Classic, Comedy, Cute, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Director's Slice, Elegance, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Gaycon, Genius of Art, Great Acting, Hot Swatch, Magic, Political, Pretty, Special, Star Power, Star Watt, Sweet, Touching, Unity, Wit Snit, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writer's Peak, Writing Reigns

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24-Oct-2021


Squid Game (2021) Full Moon

If you can't afford happy things, you become bitter, if your are unable to provide, you become addicted and if you can't eat, you die. It's called poverty. A group of instinctual individuals are given the opportunity to have their financial struggles resolved. They have to play children's games that are only safe in rhythm but not rhyme. If you lose, you die. If you win, it's a lot. The characters are specific, writing is a brainstorm and the whole is an abundance of I've never seen anything like this before. 07-Oct-2021
S1E7. The VIPs were from Palm Springs. 05-Oct-2021
S1E4. I am petrified and addicted. 01-Oct-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Best In Drama, Brutal, Chemistry, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Discomfort, Drama, Foreign, From Another Planet, Game Show, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Heartbreaking, Hot Swatch, Music Rocks, Mystery, Political, Psychological, Relationships, Scary, Sci-Fi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tough, Twisty, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough, Writing Reigns

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07-Oct-2021


Big Brother (2000 -) Whimper

Sexism is celebrated in every culture. 01-Oct-2021
Beauty must be abolished before all else. 24-Sep-2021
A beautiful power bottom won the power of veto. 15-Sep-2021
Because of its hollow historical victory, all black characters appearing in Hollywood horror movies will die first. Again. 13-Sep-2021
Master psychology thesis on the lack of a human heart. Does Les Moonves subject Julie Chen to an obstacle course before she can re-enter their home? 19-Aug-2021
It's like coming home after a hard day's work and tuning in to hear what your co-workers were thinking. Mind blast. The frustration goes way beyond an undeserving winner. 14-Jul-2016

Tags: 2000s, 2010s, Camp, Comedy, Conspiracy Theory, Disappointment, Drama, Ear Prick, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fatigue, Funny, Gay Swatch, Gross, Hot Swatch, Inappropriate, Manipulation, Overcooked, Political, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly, Suspense, Tacky, Tedium, Weird

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01-Oct-2021


Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)  Howl

Non-monogomay is the new slut. Those clever sluts! 07-Sep-2021
Bossy got proven lazy to encourage quality work. They couldn't fire her so the boss hired a maid for the stews. 16-Aug-2021
Punishing a black bossy crewmate by banishing her to a lower deck with steam. Don't they know what that does to her hair? Rich people piss in hot tubs. 09-Aug-2021
The water not only messes with her hair but her brain too. Black girl sank the boat with her lack of irreverence. Malia's transition from Deck Ratched to the Flying Nun is not convincing. "Like that nerd would ever have a chance." Hahaha. There's a proud wench stew onboard and I sort of like her. The bullied cook is going to serve the crew for dinner. The captain was nowhere in sight. Sealab reports were due. 19-Jul-2021
Charter lottery wedding and pet murderers. Black female employees trump weak authority on a boat. "Shut the fuck up, white bitch!" Chef is so Don Knotts. Jumps at anything. The girls made fun of how unattractive the male crew was on a lesbian chugger. It's a safety mechanism women employ to keep an environment sex-free. Except, cis women will fuck anything! Malia pretended to be human by letting an underling sexually fantasize about her. 05-Jul-2021
The ban on black people serving the privileged has ended. Is that a tail I see between Malia's legs? It didn't stop her from making her male subordinate feel like a stereotype. You could tell a lesbian hired the male staff. Arf. Captain Sandy reminded me that lesbians pour great wine but can't cook. What a riot. It was so much fun watching the lizard charter choke on human food. 22-Jun-2021

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Bad Acting, Brutal, Crapfun, Emasculating, Enthusiastic, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Political, Reality, Relationships, Showy, Shrill Act, Wig Crack, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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07-Sep-2021


Elite (2018-) Full Moon

Sexy gorgeous creatures don't preach, they do. 04-Jul-2021
The beautiful ones return in high style and peak bloom.

Fluidity is tunneled, pummeled and charged. The freedom to inherit all relationship prospects is an elite politic that facilitates mass hurt because the kids that invented it are incapable of successfully mastering it. They're human.

The parents do as Oprah taught them and heal most of their miracles' hemorrhage with gifts and money.

The beauties confusing the system to reclaim justice was resplendent.

The mystery continues and concludes, the ones are masters of bitchiness and heartbreak and the thread is reinforced nylon. Brava! 29-Mar-2020
The season was mapped mathematically and it hit every point. The actors are snug in their roles and stamping their characters. The drama makes you talk to yourself, the police work is thought out and everything looks delicious. Cool as fuck. 23-Sep-2019
They represent with no restraints and the teens are regarded with soul. The societal menace is heavier, coddling is out and the hurt is overwhelming. They are fighting a world adults complicated with wee survival skills. Beauty is diverse and it lingers because the writers keep tearing at it. 23-Nov-2018

Tags: 2010s, Adorable, Best In Drama, Chemistry, Crime Drama, Cultural, Cute, Daddy Squish, Dating, Director Art, Drama, Elegance, Foreign, Fun, Funny, Gay Swatch, Great Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Music Rocks, Mystery, Political, Pretty, Relationships, Romance, Sentimental, Sexy, Special, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Touching, Unity, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight, Writ Tough, Writing Reigns

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04-Jul-2021


Below Deck: Sailing Yacht Reunion (2021) Arf

Part 2. Whomever lit Alli created the illusion that she was sporting a golden nose. Poor Sydney, slowly melted into her environment. Everyone was celebrating the birth choices of women too irresponsible to avoid it. The women were lauded and supported while the giant was crushed. The world has a habit of labeling mothers great without them ever doing anything. This is the allowance an abusive mother uses to convince people that her terrorized children are fine because they're clean. We don't know her. Andy, just because you think you have the best nanny in the world doesn't mean you're an expert parent. Did you know that babysitters spit on your baby as often as restaurant staff does on your food? People with nannies aren't parents, they're providers. Women live on fairytale trips and sexual hangups. Women are allowed to make the same mistakes as men and be controlled by sexual desire. They used to call it whoredom. I say women are becoming men. Why are women berating each other for getting wet over a douche with great hair? Sabrina's aunty decided on a giant. Her mistake. She's an elder who should have known better. She destroyed a giant kid's life to embolden her own. She got what she wanted. Thank the fool for the sperm and move on. I hope you enjoy the attention. Good luck, mija. 23-Jun-2021
The ladies were so made up I had trouble identifying them. The captain is down for sexually unidentified relationships. Wink, wink. The crew agreed that Natasha was delicious but a liar. Colin is still a mystery. Sydney looked like she needed some drinks. Daisy looked like a plucked daisy. Alli is still reacting to everything Gary says. Gary defended his houndoggin' by blaming hormones and man shit. He rocked gorgeous hair and apologized profusely but the crew brought their ball slicers and left him writhing on the floor. It's better than what happened to the giant. He wasn't there but Samantha twitched and... his public hanging is tomorrow? (Hey dood, tell everyone you're gay.) 22-Jun-2021

Tags: 2020s, Camp, Daddy Squish, Emasculating, Political, Relationships, Reunion, Shrill Act, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Wit Crack

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23-Jun-2021


Temptation Island (2019-) Arf

The series encourages eating from the forbidden fruit so when the lovers reunite they can be put on trial. The prettiest boy in the world is a conniving robot with missing essential parts. That girl DID NOT sleep with him! (Cue the video.) Dude, start experimenting with your pink hole. Gay and porn will provide you with a home and some play money. Erika & Kendal. Daddy Walberg did not let Kendal out of his seat until his dick was deep fried. Chelsea & Thomas. Thomas sat quietly as Daddy Walberg paraded all the better options his girlfriend has but later went backstage and pulled his hair out. It was growing in well too. Kristen & Julian. As flat as the pages of a fairytale that will never see publishing. We don't read Shakespeare but we talk like this? In cliches? Of course, the cheater didn't cheat while on Temptation Island. He no like that kind of candy. 29-Apr-2021
It's been a downcast season. I still want to sit on Mark Walberg, tweek his teets, burn into his baby blues while he provides psychological therapy and I rock up and down. Chelsea & Thomas. He promised his hair treatments would grow real hair in an allotted set of time and failed. She met someone whose plugs are finished, can lift things and doesn't shed. Erica & Kendal. She can punish him however she wants. He thought the purpose of the show was to go on a Fantasy Island type honeymoon and shoot some porn. Awesome, right? Honey, the court will look the other way. Anything you want. Erin & Corey. The most beautiful boy in the world and man's most popular choice. You want to lick his faults like ice cream but he's a pendejo. Yeah, we'll lick a pendejo, but he aint going to taste like ice cream for very long. The show paid a sex worker to tell him that what his willy can't accomplish his pretty face can. Rah, rah, rah...only if he joins our team as a super bottom. Viva Mexico! Kristen & Julian. Fake and shriveled up. Tempters get no empathy. Someone asked them if they wanted to go on TV and destroy some relationships and they said yes. Homeless deviants! 22-Apr-2021
The temptation is mighty man boobs. 21-Jan-2019

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Cooking, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Home Improvement, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Overcooked, Political, Predictable, Pretty, Romance, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tacky, Twisty, Unity, Us, Weird

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29-Apr-2021


Falcon And The Winter Soldier (2021-) WoofDowngradeArf

Preachers hijacked the writing room. Victim is the new black. A black super soldier spends the rest of his life watering plants with a twink by his side as punishment for having the bravery to be drugged and evolve the strength to save people. He could have been Captain America except for the cruel charisma of a wasp. America voted him out, jailed and erased him. So he said. If the show had commenced with this notion, we would have been spared some ineffectual rundowns and it would have smashed impact. Julia Louis Dreyfus pinched delightfully but had no time to heist. Why are Wakandans allowed to walk freely with spears? The superbad was Orphan Annie grown with a Party City mask, reminding parents that depriving children is best. Teaching is for school and parents. If we can show them how great we are without saying a word, we've won them over. Everything must be black (good) and white (bad) because we're too sensitive for grey (everyone). We all suck. 26-Apr-2021
An ode to superhero support that no one cared about. The task of the series is to make us care. The action zips, the storyline seems cohesive but the protagonists need to make us feel more than heroism. The story is zooming but the actors ain't riding it. 21-Mar-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action, Action Fun, Bad Acting, Comic Book, Daddy Squish, Director's Slice, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Hot Swatch, Overcooked, Political, Relationships, Sap, Silly, Timid, Tired, Writ Basic, Writ For Short Attn Spans

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26-Apr-2021


Married With Children (1987-1997) Woof

I never realized how much female input there was in scouring the marriage of an alpha fucker and our mothers. 15-Apr-2021

Tags: 1980s, 1990s, Camp, Chemistry, Classic, Comedy, Daddy Squish, Director's Touch, Funny, Gay, Gay Swatch, Great Acting, Hilarious, Magic, Magnetism, Political, Reality, Relationships, Representing, Sentimental, Squish Alert, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Sweet, Tacky, Tough, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny

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15-Apr-2021




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