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Health/Food Posts Tagged as 'Mental Health'

Welcome to Errattic! We encourage you to customize the type of information you see here by clicking the Preferences link on the top of this page.

 

Sound the Alarm: The Moms Are Not Alright 

 

We know that women make less than men during the best of times—in 2018 women’s weekly wages were 81.1% that of men, according to a report from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics. During this recession not only were sectors with higher proportions of female employees disproportionately affected, but female employees have been disproportionately more likely to be laid off than their male counterparts. Women-owned businesses are also more likely to be in the healthcare, education, or retail sectors that have been so hard hit during COVID-19. Partially due to lower income overall, women also tend to have less buffer to weather financial storms.

This paints a dire picture for women’s mental health. We can readily empathize with financial strain, the fear that accompanies it and the catastrophic negative impact it can have on mental health. We may also appreciate that despite the reluctance we might frequently feel to get out of bed and go to work on a Monday morning, there is a well-established link between employment and mental health. We know that becoming unemployed is associated with depression and suicidality, and that gaining employment is associated with an improvement in mental health. Furthermore, in a socially distanced world in which women are substantially less able to receive household help or have contact with females outside their immediate household, there is a greater burden on the support that partners provide. Unfortunately, we know that within relationships, financial concerns are a major driver of conflict between partners, jeopardizing the support available to struggling mothers.

Sound the Alarm: The Moms Are Not Alright

Tags: Awareness, Children, Choices, Environment, Investment, Life Sucks, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Parental Burden, Psychology, Punishment, Responsibility, Safety, Survival, Women

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23-Nov-2020


Woman Clashes With Her Husband After They Agree To Take In Her Deceased Best Friend's Children 

 

My best friend passed away unexpectedly nine months ago. It was not something that I ever thought would happen.

"She left behind 3 children, 8[Male], 4[Female] and 1[Female]. My husband and I were written to be her children's godparents."

We have never wanted children of our own and do not have any, but we accepted the role of being godparents because we figured that it's just a formality. Plus my best friend did not have many other people she could rely on."

"I want the children. My husband does not. He said he's willing to take care of them on weekends or something but not be their permanent guardian."

"He said keeping the children would violate a pretty big part of our marriage, considering he has never wanted children and has even got a vasectomy to prevent them."

Woman Clashes With Her Husband After They Agree To Take In Her Deceased Best Friend's Children

Tags: Adoption, Children, Choices, Damage, Enforcement, Etiquette, Interference, Investment, Mental Health, Parental Burden, Preference, Priorities, Rejection, Responsibility, Superficiality

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23-Nov-2020


My Husband Failed Two Polygraph Tests About His Infidelity 

 

Dear Prudence,
I am a professional woman who has been married for 16 years. My job is stressful, and I often work 12 hours or more. We have no children. At first things were wonderful, and my husband always seemed like a sweet, mild-mannered, caring man. Three years in, he was laid off because his company ran into financial trouble. Because I am a high-earner, I told him he didn’t need to go back to work as long as he kept the house up and did basic repair projects. He never went back to work, but he never kept the house up, either. We also hired housecleaners to visit every two weeks, but in between nothing got done. I asked him to go back to work. He didn’t. I strongly suspected he was having affairs a few years later, but he always denied it. I have no concrete proof, but he did many suspicious things like hiding months of phone bills and having midnight texts. Years later he voluntarily took two polygraph tests to save the marriage (we stopped having intimate relations five years ago mostly because I no longer admired, respected, or trusted him, and because of my resentment toward him on several levels). He failed the tests.

Until lately, I generally ignored all my feelings and went about trying to have a good life. My husband will not discuss our issues because, he says, he clams up or needs time to think. I verbalize my needs and frustrations all the time. At one point he started snapping at me and rolling his eyes, but I firmly and strongly told him to stop, which he mostly has. I demanded that he get a job, and he finally works 25 hours a week making a small salary. He knows I no longer love him (in the least), but he won’t leave. We now live in separate bedrooms. We have been to two marriage counselors. I have told him I will go back if he is willing to discuss his unfaithfulness, which he still denies. He states the lie-detector tests are invalid. The house and everything we own are paid for by me alone. I need to divorce, but he will take everything I own, plus alimony. On the surface, he is a nice, charming, religious guy. None of our friends know about our marriage troubles, and they would be shocked to hear this. Advice, please.

—Trapped

My Husband Failed Two Polygraph Tests About His Infidelity

Tags: Advice, Cheating, Choices, Divorce, Environment, Hate, Marriage, Men In Charge, Mental Health, Power, Struggling, Survival, Violence

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19-Nov-2020


CDC urges Americans against traveling for Thanksgiving as coronavirus outbreak worsens 

 

Dr. Henry Walke, the CDC’s Covid-19 incident manager, said there is “no more important time than now for each and every American to redouble our efforts to watch our distance, wash our hands and, most importantly, wear a mask.”

“CDC is recommending against travel during the Thanksgiving period,” he said. “For Americans who decide to travel, CDC recommends doing so as safely as possible by following the same recommendations for everyday living.”

Walke added that the CDC is concerned “about the transportation hubs.” He said he’s worried people won’t be able to maintain social distancing while waiting in line, for example, to board buses and planes.

CDC urges Americans against traveling for Thanksgiving as coronavirus outbreak worsens

Tags: Coronavirus, Environment, Holidays, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Policy, Respect, Responsibility, Safety, Saving The Environment!, Superiority, Travel, Unity, Unruly Child, World

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19-Nov-2020


We Walked In on My Husband With a Man. Now Our Son Is Acting Homophobic. 

 

A few weeks ago, I was supposed to take my sons to an outdoor activity that ended up getting canceled due to weather. We found out about the cancellation when we were halfway there. Before I turned around, I texted my husband that we would be heading home and never got a text back. This wasn’t unusual, as he usually puts his phone on “do not disturb” while he’s working. When we got home, I opened the door to find my husband and his best friend, “Ryan,” completely naked, and having fairly rough sex on our dining room table. They had music blaring, so they didn’t hear us come in, and my sons and I were all in shock and just stood there for a good 30 to 60 seconds before I was able to shut the music off, and they realized what was going on and could cover up. Obviously, this is a bit of a chaotic situation.

Ryan is like an uncle to my kids, has dinner at our house several times a week, has occasionally lived with us, and he and my husband actually work together. My husband and I are planning on staying together and are still trying to figure a lot of things out. Here’s the problem: My younger son (6) is pretty oblivious and thought Uncle Ryan was wrestling with his dad. My middle son (9) is very confused about the mechanics of what we saw (we’ve had the sex talk with him, but in hindsight, we made the mistake of only talking about heterosexual sex). My older son (12) is having a very difficult time. My middle son has a lot of questions that I’m not really sure how to answer, and I’m not sure how much detail I should be going into, and who should be leading this conversation (me? my husband? a doctor?). I’ve been getting phone calls home from my older son’s school. Ever since the incident, he has apparently been making derogatory remarks about gay people, using slurs, and is also refusing to speak to his father (they were previously pretty close). The school is threatening to expel him. We’re on the waitlist for individual and family therapy, but I was wondering if you guys had any advice about what to do with my two older sons?

—What Now?

We Walked In on My Husband With a Man.

Tags: Advice, Cheating, Children, Choices, Environment, Gay, Hate, Hypocrisy, LGBTQ, Men In Charge, Mental Health, Neglect, Parental Burden, Parental Crime, Reaction, Sex, Sex Identity, Youth

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15-Nov-2020


Why Do Married Men Watch Porn? 

 

If I told you that I only watch porn for research in sociology, you’d likely call bullshit. And you’d be right. My husband and I have been together for thirty-three years. We have what sex advice columnist Dan Savage calls a “monogamish” relationship.

Passionate sex in a new relationship has a shelf life of about one year for all couples. Our story is no different. The things that drew us together still hold us together. Neither of us has any desire to change that.

Trying to discover how many married men watch porn is like the old joke about masturbation. The joke says, “95% of men admit to masturbating. The other 5% lie about it.” Men don’t like to admit they watch porn either. But even those of us in satisfying, committed relationships masturbate and watch porn.

One man told me about how he had watched porn at the office before going home, and then he masturbated. That evening his spouse wanted to have sex, and he hesitated. He had difficulty achieving an erection. She decided to perform oral sex on him, which in the past had helped him have a rigid erection. When she did so, she found some tissue stuck to his penis from his earlier masturbation.

Why Do Married Men Watch Porn?

Tags: Aging, Environment, Marriage, Masturbation, Men In Charge, Mental Health, Nature, Portrait, Relationships, Satisfaction, Sex, Statistics, Woman's Rights

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12-Nov-2020


Help! I Catfished a Much Younger Man to Help Get Out the Vote. 

 

Q. Catfishing: My daughters have been phone banking, calling Arizona and Michigan and so on to get out the vote. I didn’t want to do that but I felt guilty. Then I read an article in Slate about using the dating app Hinge to get out the vote. That sounded like fun to me, so I set up an account. I figured that there were few people my age (about 70) on Hinge, so I used a pic that was 40(!) years old and pretended to be young, single, and child-free. My state was also in the bag as far as electoral votes were concerned, so I decided to “live” in another state. Anyway, you could say I was catfishing, but I figured it was for a good cause—no one would get hurt, thus, no harm, no foul.

However. I found a match. Of course he is much younger than I am and lives in a different state. But we are politically similar. And we have the same (very niche!) hobby. (I can’t name the hobby, because all my friends who read this column would immediately identify me! But, as a false example, it is not that we both like to read biographies—it is more like we both like to make art with old encyclopedias. So we share this unusual passion.)

Now I want to tell him the truth and be friends. But I know that no one wants to be fooled. Is there any way to break the news—that I am decades older than he is and not interested in dating—that would not destroy this budding relationship?

Help! I Catfished a Much Younger Man to Help Get Out the Vote.

Tags: Advice, Choices, Fake, Interference, LGBTQ, Maturity, Mental Health, Politics, Reckless, Social Media, Unruly Child

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10-Nov-2020


Kids have regressed due to COVID-19 restrictions, with some potty-trained kids going back to diapers, experts say
 

An education watchdog in the U.K. found that some children have regressed due to COVID-19-related school closures and restrictions. A report from Ofsted, the Office for Standards in Education, Children's Services and Skills, says some kids have fallen back in basic skills – and some who were greatly impacted have even forgotten how to use a fork and knife.

One is the "hardest hit" group of young kids. This group has suffered from time out of school and has gone backwards on words and numbers. This group has also reverted to diapers after being potty-trained or lost "basic skills" such as using a knife and fork.

The majority of children are in the middle group and "have slipped back in their learning to varying degrees since schools were closed to most children and movement restricted." According to Spielman, the "lost learning is unarguable, but it is hard to assess."

The Ofsted inspectors said older children have lost their "stamina" for reading. The watchdog also warned that older kids might show loss of concentration when returning to school, noting that fights on social media started during the lockdown are now "being played out in the classroom."

Kids have regressed due to COVID-19 restrictions, with some potty-trained kids going back to diapers, experts say

Tags: Awareness, Brain, Children, Education, Environment, Evolution, Family, Intelligence, Interference, Lifestyle, Mental Health, Modernization, Nature, Neglect, Parental Burden, Priorities, Safety, Survival

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10-Nov-2020


Dear Therapist: I Had a Great Relationship With My In-Laws. Then Everything Changed. 

 

My husband and I have been together for seven years and married for three. We have a 1-year-old daughter together.

It took me a long time to get into a relationship; I wanted to find someone I could get along with, but also in-laws I could get along with, because I grew up watching my parents fight about their parents all the time. When my husband and I first met, his family was very kind to me. In fact, his family and I often joke that I married him because his family was so awesome.

After I gave birth to our daughter, everything changed. I am suddenly being judged for not being a good mom, for not having a job, for not losing my pregnancy weight fast enough. My husband does not want to be stuck in the middle, and even though he’ll speak to his parents about this, nothing gets resolved, because he doesn’t push them for any kind of resolution. He basically tells them something they did wasn’t nice, they acknowledge it and sometimes apologize, and then they make more unnecessary comments.

My in-laws purchased a home for us after the birth of our baby. I realize now that this purchase came with a lot of strings attached. They want to see their granddaughter whenever it is convenient for them—not for us or when it’s best for our daughter. They don’t practice social distancing. When I bring this up to my husband, he tells me that we need to be accommodating to his parents because they purchased the home for us and we’d be considered ungrateful. I tell him that I’d be happy to move and rent if I would have more control over my life and my daughter’s. He says his parents would view this as a “slap in the face.”

As much as I love my husband, I feel like the relationship I have with my in-laws is making this marriage difficult, because at the end of the day, he’ll choose his parents’ feelings over mine.

I don’t want my daughter growing up to see us fighting about her grandparents, as I did with my parents. Many times I’ve found myself holding my tongue to keep the peace. I want to set clear boundaries with my in-laws but also have a great relationship with them.

Do you have any insight for me?

Anonymous
Toronto

Dear Therapist: I Had a Great Relationship With My In-Laws. Then Everything Changed.

Tags: Advice, Children, Choices, Environment, Family, Hostility, Men In Charge, Mental Health, Relationships, Respect, Threat

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09-Nov-2020


My Boyfriend’s Mom Suddenly Hates Me


 

Dear Prudence,

I’ve been dating an Asian American man for the better part of a year, and he’s the most wonderful person I’ve ever met. His mother and I got along for about six months. I was invited over for dinner, stayed at their house (he lives with his parents), and we even exchanged phone numbers. My boyfriend agrees that I was polite to her and never stepped on her toes. Recently they got into an argument (she didn’t know I was there), and she went on a tirade about how he shouldn’t bring his “little girlfriend” into her house anymore, that I was not a member of their family and was no longer welcome. He tried to reassure me that it was something she said in the heat of the moment, but she’s stood by those words. I’m devastated.

I can’t stop thinking that perhaps she wanted her son to date someone else. My free trial in their home has expired, and she’s ready for her son to date a woman from their heritage. When I’ve been in the house since then, she stands in the backyard until I leave. English is not her first language, and I’m not sure it’d be productive for me to talk to her myself. What would you do in this situation?

—No Longer Welcome

My Boyfriend’s Mom Suddenly Hates Me

Tags: Advice, Culture, Dating, Environment, Family, Hate, Judgment, Mental Health, Parental Burden, Parental Crime, Preference, Relationships, Termination, Threat

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08-Nov-2020


My Daughter’s New Friends (and Their Parents) Are Terribly Racist 

 

My husband and I (as well as our daughter, “Chloe”) moved to a new state about a year and a half ago. We live in an extremely White suburb that is surrounded by a large, non-White city. We wanted to live in the city, but the crime rate caused us to look elsewhere. As a result, everyone in our neighborhood is White. There are eight other children that live in our neighborhood that are around my daughter’s age (she’s 7). The first few months were great, and she was constantly going over to other kids’ houses to play or inviting them here. She was a little socially behind in our last town, so I was happy she had made friends. But then I started to notice that her friends were terribly racist, and after inviting the kids’ parents over for dinner … the parents are racist too. Not just microaggressions or an off-color joke (which would be bad enough by itself), but just full-on, blatant racism. Even my husband, who is from a small town that still has Klan activity, was shocked and appalled.

I don’t want my daughter spending time with these children. When the pandemic happened, we didn’t have to worry about it too much because no one was seeing anyone. But the neighborhood kids have started spending time together again (at a distance), and my daughter has been asking to go outside and play. The kids have also come and knocked on the door a few times asking for my daughter, but I made up an excuse. On the one hand, I don’t want to deprive my daughter of friends (she goes to an extremely small magnet school and isn’t really fitting in there, not to mention her classmates live 30-plus minutes away). On the other hand, I don’t want her to befriend racists! My daughter recently told me she had been feeling left out. What do I do?

—Not Raising a Racist

My Daughter’s New Friends (and Their Parents) Are Terribly Racist

Tags: Advice, Children, Choices, Environment, Fear, Friendship, Hate, Mental Health, Neighbor, Parental Burden, Politics, Racism, Relationships, Safety, Substitute, Treatment, Weird

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06-Nov-2020


Dear Fuck-Up, 

 

I am currently in the very shady shitty midst of a divorce. Our marriage ended for a lot of valid reasons (incompatibility, mutual depressions, denial, etc.) that truly don’t have much to do with the following bit of info. My husband had a very (very!) close friendship with a female mutual friend of ours. They’d been friends since childhood (20+ years) and she subsequently became a really good friend of mine in the 10 years of our relationship. BUT in the last eight months of my marriage they engaged in an “emotional affair.” It was very unsubtly inappropriate and disrespectful. The extent of which I may never fully know because, they, obviously, both turned out to be disappointing, dishonest, and shitty people.

He moved in with her (sorry, “rented a room” from her) six weeks after we decided to end our marriage and now three months later is in a public relationship with her. This has been a fully awful and emotionally devastating experience for me. I’ve been heartbroken, angry, humiliated, stressed the fuck out.

My actual question revolves around how I can express my feelings about this devious gash. My husband will pay (a fucking lot) in our divorce settlement, and he has enough self-awareness to know he is a bad man and a miserable shit. His personal shame kind of settles my animosity towards him.

But her! I am a sex positive person who is pro-sex-work and loudly disparages people who attempt to besmirch strippers, porn actors, or prostitutes. YET, all I want to do is call this dumb bitch a stupid whore. Ditsy hoe. Dirty slizz. Etc.

How can I reconcile my feminism with my need to hate on this horrid bitch? Especially since now that I am single af, I am ‘bout to hit up all the dick?

Signed,

Not So Feminist

Dear Fuck-Up,

Tags: Advice, Anxiety, Cheating, Choices, Divorce, Environment, Etiquette, Feminism, Friendship, Men In Charge, Mental Health, Misrepresentation, Perception, Threat, Treatment, Woman's Rights

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05-Nov-2020


My 35-Year-Old Sister-in-Law Might Be Pregnant by a 17-Year-Old 

 

Dear Prudence,

My sister-in-law has had an affair with a 17-year-old boy (she’s 35) and might be pregnant. My sister has taken off with their twins to go stay with our mother in Mexico. Oh yes, my mother moved there two years ago to join a cult. She left the cult but stayed in the country. Our dad is still married to her, despite his five-year relationship with his “housekeeper” he thinks we don’t know about. But we never had a housekeeper growing up, he’s certainly not wealthy enough to afford a live-in employee now, and we all know “Gwen” doesn’t do much to look after the house.

Is it awful that I’m just not involved? Usually I’d be in the thick of it, being the designated fixer and “good daughter.” Except it’s a pandemic and I’ve just stayed out of it. It’s bliss. I obviously know what’s happening, but due to time differences and working from home, most of my information comes via email. I let it sit in the inbox till I’m ready to look at it, and it’s just not as fraught as talking to a devastated relative face-to-face. I have been supportive, or at least not outright accusatory, at my sister-in-law (17!), but just at a remove. As far as I can tell this new distance hasn’t changed anyone else’s lives, just mine. Yet I do feel guilty for not being elbow-deep in the mess with everyone else. That’s what families do, right? Pitch in? I didn’t realize how tired I was of it all, until I realized I could actually live in peace.

—Out of the Game

My 35-Year-Old Sister-in-Law Might Be Pregnant by a 17-Year-Old

Tags: Advice, Etiquette, Family, Freedom, Interference, Mental Health, Pederast, Perception, Recovery, Relationships, Safety, Sex

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29-Oct-2020


Coronavirus can knock eight points off your IQ: Virus causes 'brain fog' that can cause mental damage similar to the mind aging a decade, research suggests 

 

Coronavirus could age the brain by ten years or cause IQ to fall, a study has suggested.

Researchers have warned that survivors of the worst cases of the virus could be at risk of lasting mental damage, equivalent to an 8.5-point drop in IQ or the brain ageing a decade.

This 'brain fog' has already been reported by sufferers for weeks, even months after recovering from Covid-19.

Some have told of losing the ability to recall everyday facts or hold a conversation.

Coronavirus can knock eight points off your IQ

Tags: Aging, Brain, Coronavirus, Effect, Intelligence, Mental Health, Safety, World

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27-Oct-2020


9 Signs To Spot A Cerebral Narcissist & How To Deal With Them 

 

A little bit of narcissism is natural and even healthy. If you're able to recognize egotistical traits in yourself, then you're likely not a true narcissist. Clinically diagnosed narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is actually rare, and people who have it don't believe there's anything wrong with their behavior.

Cerebral narcissism is observed in a person who attempts to get their narcissistic supply through being smart and flashing their big intellect around," psychologist and narcissism expert Ramani Durvasula, Ph.D., tells mbg. They have the distinguishing NPD traits, such as lack of empathy, entitlement, and grandiosity, but cerebral narcissists in particular exert their power and receive their validation from outsmarting others.

1. They need to appear more intellectual than everyone else.
Cerebral narcissists will use complicated, technical words in a regular conversation; always finds a way to refer to books, authors, and theories by name; or talk constantly about ideas framed as new and cutting-edge.

"Most people are often quite intimidated by them because they are talking about things in such a technical manner," Durvasula says. "Your eyes either glaze over, or you are wowed by their 'brilliance.'"

9 Signs To Spot A Cerebral Narcissist & How To Deal With Them

Tags: Mental Health, Psychology, Test

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23-Oct-2020




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