All Posts Tagged as 'Kool Effects'
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Jupiter's Legacy (2021)
SE5. I'm not done yet. They talk a lot. I wander then I rewind to listen that they are griping about the same depressing shit as last episode. Did Hollywood run out of realistic looking hair or are lousy wiggers not fireable? "Give Daddy the homeless wig." Daddy's hair drips and droops and looks exactly like that. The cast is jelling but the story needs some mushrooms. 14-May-2021
A great pastiche of superhero adventures and the miserable lives it processes. It's familiar, obliterating and fun. 09-May-2021
Die Hard With A Vengeance (1995)
I needed a break from imaginary intelligence so I decided to watch the daddies that kept me a boy longer than I needed to be. The Riddler has designated several bombs to go off at different times all over Gotham unless Beast Boy and Cyborg decode them. As soon as Daddy Willis walks naked into Harlem wearing an offensive sign and precipitates different reactions from the community, the movie stakes a claim on how we presently live. It isn't offensive because the film is a warning about foreigners using our hate to destroy us. The actors are saying things that we think but are not allowed to say. Our anger and resentment is released through them. Samuel L. Jackson is the best antagonist to have because he will do what's right for everybody and make you laugh. Applying CGI spandex onto Jeremy Irons Riddler would have made his equation complete. Chemistry is on blast, believability is shot but daddies look so cool getting bloody and blowing things up. 26-Apr-2021
Space Sweepers (2021)
The earth has become Mexico red. 5 percent of the privileged population safely inhabit space while governing the remaining 95% that will die with earth. Space sweepers clear space from waste. It's a competition. The team who swipes it first wins and gets paid. I got absorbed in its universal travelogue. I wanted to see more of dying earth and plastic earth but understood the budget restrictions. They concentrated on delivering a humane story against a space adventure. The robot is a human-like child set to detonate and cause a nuclear disaster on earth. She is the new cargo the Victory ship undertakes. They are afraid of her as they are enamored. It's done with cheeky humor, a team that kicked ass and a heart that saps with the wind. It doesn't hit your face in a glob. It spreads out so you can gently dab. Every representation spoke their language and it sounded musical and educational. The little girl was adorable and the action was Tony The Tiger. 18-Feb-2021
Avengers, The (2012)
Arise the madness. Superhero magnificence. 16-Feb-2021
Pete's Dragon (2016)
This is the the corny one but not to death. Elliot is a majestic dragon with fur and radioactive green. It still acts like a dog but it's butchy. Slave boy becomes orphan boy after wandering off into the forest post a fatal family crash. He is adopted by Elliott, becomes Tarzan boy, lives with animals, lives like animals and acquires 6 years knowledge of the English language by reading the same baby book over and over. No. The dragon doesn't talk. He whimpers. I frown on animals talking but dragons don't exist so it's okay for them to talk when we need shit explained. Redford was enervating, Howard was luminous and Fegly imagined. Sweet and magical moments stand out. 16-Feb-2021
Star Wars: Revenge Of The Sith (2005)
General Grievous is a product of Lucas' craft. The Tech Master hardly disappointed. The fail was foretelling everything before it happened depriving us of emotional surprise and leaning heavily on sap. I thought Hayden was done vomiting. Dude, he had diarrhea and it stank up the whole universe. I replaced him with a young Jack Nicholson. (Jack was dark, charming and a hoot. That laugh.) Unfortunately the saga is reliant on Anakin Skywalker making a satisfying transition to Darth Vader. He does not. I would have put a helmet on that kid halfway through the 2nd film just to avoid the misery. He even infected Natalie Portman. Samuel L. Jackson couldn't give three fucks. Ewan McGregor sported adorable hair, eloquence and force chill. Yoda kicked more ass. Christensen yucked it up! The diarrhea was epidemic. 06-Feb-2021
Star Wars: Attack Of The Clones (2002)
Ewan Mcgregor found the force. Samuel L. Jackson couldn't give two shits. Christopher Lee honored his count. Natalie Portman settled in. Hayden Christensen was anemic and woozy and almost vomited all over the film except that the magic of George Lucas was dominant and triumphant. TG. Can we CG him out? More universe is explored, Jango Fett and Yoda kicked ass and the adventure was accomplished. I loved playing this game. 05-Feb-2021
Star Wars: The Phantom Menace (1999)
I went retro and revisited some films that weren't to my liking. If it weren't for Lucas magic this film would be one of the worst. The child. Poor thing. No training, no soul. I would have skipped to the Superboy years one second after the awesome pod race. Liam Neeson didn't seem taken by the force. The words meant nothing to him. It was a job. MacGregor's head moved stiffly and he looked like he cracked up before and after many line readings. Jar Jar Binks was created by party people with no exceeding limits. I watched him drunk and still found him annoying. Natalie Portman must have looked blankly at countless fake CGI things because she applied it to humans as well. The voice she inflected was cockamamie and infectious. Yoda isn't as cute as The Child. At all. Blathering old idiot. Robes don't flow in saber fights and future love relations are not impactful if one babysat the other. The director worked beyond the force. The fans publicly cheered while quietly sighing. Darth Maul was a pocket. It makes a good game but not a good film. 02-Feb-2021
Maleficent: Mistress Of Evil (2019)
Jolie's Maleficent is a sublime creature that never got a good movie written about her. Her work remains unmatched. Jolie, learning etiquette, was funny and bright. The dinner choreography didn't make sense. Maleficent overreacted when the prospective in-laws hadn't hit her soft spot yet. Her denial of murder should have been the catalyst. Once the scene is set, it skits, stalls, enchants and sentimentalizes. It's better than the first one.
Also, don't call a witch evil unless she eats babies. 21-Jan-2021
Mandalorian, The (2019-)
In gaming lays the closest successful expansion of a beloved mythology. The creators present that inspiration along with a grand sense of fun. The child is everything. 19-Jan-2021
It mindfucks from the beginning. It's told out of sequence and it has something to do with a gay rock that grants the grabber wishes. Unfortunately, the wishes make you see the ridiculousness in them as they come to fruition. The effects are genuinely gross and creative, the kids exceed expectations, the film is hilarious and that guy from Two and Half Men is in it and he doesn't suck. I had so much fun. 04-Dec-2020
Thing, The (2011)
The prequel follows Carpenter's roadmap to the letter. It doesn't interrupt and it doesn't reinvent. Its purpose is to continue. The difference it serves is a stunning CGI monster that places the film in the sci-fi horror fun club. 29-Oct-2020
Pandemic anxiety coupled with protester violence makes for a scary zombie flick. There is no delineation because the action speaks for itself. The use of modern tech to create a different outcome is brilliant, the zombies are bone crushers and the direction is tireless. The ending deprives the artists of a master stroke. 14-Sep-2020
John Wick 3 (2019)
Even after siphoning pleasure from the first two I was hesitant to invest in a third. I expected more ugly pup murder vengeance but it was one of the best video games I ever played. Angelica Huston was unrecognizable but still biting. Halle Berry finally delivered dog munching kickass. The horses, the cycles, the players, the stunts, the work. It was exhilarating. It's creation negates all improbability. Daddy cool K represents our aggressions and their release. Flush. 17-Aug-2020
Alita: Battle Angel (2019)
As I drowned in amazement the thought of giving Pinocchio this treatment became intriguing...and then it was.
Alita is the child built from dreams of regret, facing a life with limited power in the casings of a girl. She is constantly hounded for parts, in competition, fluttering, fighting and tasting what a child's life has to offer. She'd rather be a woman.
Christoph Waltz is his own animation. His Gepetto flourishes with worry and celebration. Alita's need to grow up is his dissatisfaction and his burden. The doctor brandishes enormous tools protecting a future creation that matters too much.
Creative ideas constantly bounce, widening the eye and accepting the beauty of art.
The pandemic should determine if this is how future movies will look.