TV Posts Tagged as 'Travel'
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Below Deck: Sailing Yacht (2020-)
Daisy exclaimed that the sock in Gary's pants is bullshit. Tiny fucker. Yum.
Captain brought his macaroni dick to guest's table and moved back so the charter could enjoy it. Good man. Gary darling made out with a boy and a girl but neither dared sit on him. Whew! Good to know there's only one rapist on Gary's love boat. 31-May-2022
The charter was a surgically enhanced female empowerment group. The type whose procedures make them look twenty years older because only old ladies need them. Why did it become serious when one charter member big splashed? Were they expecting a big sprinkle? One of the non-second stews left a fat sock in Captain's pant crotch. Did Chef Dos Latinos serve dessert with a little spoon because the Captain was dining with the charter or because he knew I would notice it? The Captain should have shown up for dinner in a jockstrap because all the women could talk about was Gary, Gary, Gary. Captain served the ladies macaroni crotch for breakfast but none of the women looked down. I would have stood on the table. The raped one was deliriously content making out with a non-second steward, giving fuck you stares to the rapist and riling up Ms. Long Ago. A man handles rape a little different. I'm not sure about this but I think a non-second stew stuck a similar sock in Gary's pants. 24-May-2022
Lord Salmon Decker has sexual amnesia. The sex was either very horrible or it felt illegal. Either way, amnesia is the best way out of the situation. Ashley couldn't keep her mouth shut and confessed every detail of the rape on video and audio on a loop. Yo, stop. I'm sure there's help waiting for her when they dock. They're wearing crew whites without any stripes. They will find her. Gary is the hero for fighting rape by not giving it the two cents it doesn't deserve. It's just another lousy fuck. It's not like shee reeped hiz ash to shereddss!!! 17-May-2022
If you unexpectedly slide it into Gary, he'll only notice a change in temperature. Chef Dos Latinos was perplexed by boobs so he made great food. Gary thinks that a male to female deck can do better than a female to female hand. Ashley thinks she should be promoted for raping a man and getting rid of Encanto. 11-May-2022
Gary got raped by a baby stew. The stew was giving the beautiful intoxication a massage when he fell asleep. He rolled over with a hard-on and she sat on it. Rape! Male whores sometimes get their rapes and hook-ups mixed up especially when they can't remember them. Double rape! HE DID NOT CONSENT! HE WAS UNCONSCIOUS! He'll feel the pain once he's 55+ and has a compulsive desire to sue her. Gabriela did everyone a favor by booking her mental illness out of there. I know Chef Dos Latinos was tired of that Encanto bitch. Daisy's woman in charge consists of granting her crew the power to let her fuck with their heads. Is that why Gabby left? Nope, it was Gary's fault. Cuddling with a salmon mermaid that's going to fuck you over is a mental no no. Colin and Gabby watching Gary snog with baby's breath made his ass clench and her mind/vagina explode. Did the captain remove a peanut butter cup from its wrapper and replace it with a dollop of peanut butter? That is so cat. I think I understand captain's giant cracker fetish. He doesn't want to shit the boat when he tilts it. 19-Apr-2022
Below Deck: Sailing Yacht (2020-)
The crew got to serve a yachty slave crew. Captain confided his dick needed a wide angle lens to capture its full impact. Daisy couldn't leave the boat without making a feminine princess feel like she's worthless for liking scum dick. Colin has a crush on scum dick. He has a jealous eye and a broken heart. I hope he goes home, mourns his dog and makes peace with it. Sydney became diseased when the first mate rejected her. She smashed her vagina in front of the men and all they could do was swallow hard. Natasha was amusing. Alli is destined to be made fool of again, probably by Gary, on future TV. Gary needs to go oink. A good 12 inches should fix her. Bitch be cleaning the boat with her tongue. Sorry, mate. Samantha and giant Darrin were not promoted to anything. Bummer. 14-Jun-2021
The crew agreed that Gary should have never been born then promoted him. Gypsy woman entrapped Green Giant into having babies. Naughty mope. She'll take a green card from anywhere. Captain Pop got slurpy. Spydeck remains an enigma. Sydney still horny. 07-Jun-2021
It was the Hocus Pocus charter. Giant discovered his dick turned red because the bruja is using pussy cement. (I told you!) One of the high commanders from the witch colony claimed the coven was rejecting her because she was the most plastically altered/beautiful. I couldn't tell them apart. Captain was nerve wracked. He seemed like he was going to call his crew idiots and jump ship. Natasha served dessert in a trough for pigs. Really? Plastic people can make irreverent comments about lowly people but the lowliest should never be caught criticizing them. "We pay for the servitude, so shut up!" Poor Alli. Those bitches. 24-May-2021
The Captain was done in by mammoth equipment. A charter of women came to lounge, dispute and to show America that their lifestyle isn't healthy for anyone. The giant's penis is turning red and the culprit wants to jump ship. Brown girl lied. Daisy celebrated. Gary is living his best life. 18-May-2021
No critique. I felt like I was watching a special episode of Baywatch or worst, Flipper and took pity on them. 11-May-2021
Daisy was murdered and it had nothing to do with Natasha. Captain Pop was as befuddled by Daisy's lame attempt at a Murder Mystery Dinner as we were. He looked like the only adult at a kids' table. He should have been included somehow. It's not befitting a captain to appear lost. There are so many excellent swimmers on staff. Why didn't one of the crew get pushed overboard? It would have been dramatic. The giant saved the day then got disgusted when his chiquita showed interest in Alli's labia. The Chucky of the Sea tried to give Sydney a rise by making out with Alli like she was Sofia the First. Sydney got her revenge by informing the viewers how inadequate the Chuck is in bed. 03-May-2021
Below Deck: Sailing Yacht (2020-)
Daisy's wish that brown girl would fail at everything was overridden by juju food seasoned to perfection that caused outbursts of joyful magical sensations. Daisy needed to check her own department. They left Captain Pop without any clean black sexy underwear. Are they nuts?! The citizen application seemed very disappointed that the giant fit. What does that mean? The tip of my baby finger is snug... that means he's...2. Two Feet? Would I have pointed it out if it was 2 feet? Oh shit. I would but in a different manner. The fairytale crushing Bizarro fuck accounts for her sudden flow of tears and romantic reminiscing. She will never be as good as this. Might as well fuck with this clown. The boat is full of juju and the señorita has a few powders of her own. (Is it the cement my mother prescribed to my best friend to make her husband think she was a virgin again?) Whatever brings her closer to opportunity. She meant home. She wants to give back. You can't have it all. Gary is a shag monster! Glistening soft drunks are the new swag. I asked him to lick me upside down and he did! You don't let guests dehydrate, especially nice ones. Giants tumble. 27-Apr-2021
Natasha told Daisy to "kiss off" by turning her food into art. Giants consume, peek and hibernate. Everyone wants a shot at Gary, his cheeky sensibility and spotless ass. I'm sure it slides right in. (Sorry, "man brain" on.) They spent a lot of time being defensive about smokers. Smokers separate as a courtesy to everyone and to bond with other smokers. So the fucking what. Everyone else wasted time obsessing over the idea that a human can do that. Sydney qualifies as a "pyscho sexual slut" who's gonna kill to get her man.
(Oops, "man brain" again. "I'm really trying, mama. Please don't hurt me!") 20-Apr-2021
Blame it all on Natasha. 15-Apr-2021
Captain Pop has the chill to relax and the stern to discipline. Ahoy. The gay charter were dressed in "red alerts." The Penguin threatened his pet Pugsley with the fat farm if he didn't stop eating after getting home. Ouch. Ok, then. Maybe the reason the boy devours food is because the family keeps turning meals into parties to avoid emotions. The marriage proposal to his daughter's boyfriend was cold, cruel and deserving. They appeared to seal a contract. It's a probability that the daughter is still with the boyfriend and faking it for their betterment or Penguin thought he could steal a good fuck for himself. Daughter stopped eating and drowned her woes in alcohol after the engagement and threw up. "You parental-privileged, fish-eating, fat shaming, climate swallowing, child torturing, slave driving, vagina-hating and inappropriate froth." 07-Apr-2021
A woman's kryptonite is a horny man whispering momentary sweet nothings in her ear. A man's kryptonite is his dick. The crew spins the bottle and force strangers to kiss. Decadent. A decent charter gets eclipsed by out of bound cliches. A gay father married to his daughter's ex, children with permanent scowls on their faces and exes riding the money trail onboard to poison the atmosphere. They sexually harassed a woman's giant, nose sniffed privilege and dick shrank perversion. Where's the progress? 29-May-2020
90 Day Fiance (2014-)
"The Boy" read the Russian incantation that turns him into a doll during his wedding ceremony. Mike seems to be the only cast member to have understood the irony of The Americans. Natalie freaked out about the fat fuck not marrying her like they were giving out Emmys for it. "Best Outburst By A Communist" in the reality TV genre. 28-Mar-2021
It no longer seems viable that the main purpose of the show is to celebrate interracial marriage. It's a business contract. Men who have trouble corralling local women have to go abroad to find a strong woman willing to give them what a man needs and able to fight to keep it true. More babies; more man freedom. Unfortunately for man, women are evolving all over the world and man has no time to ponder. They nag as much as the American bitches.
A woman with power fishes overseas because she needs to feel like a woman again by the crude affections of a foreign alpha with a penchant for America, sex, shackling, expensive gifts and more money. I don't think getting your head chopped off for an orgasm is worth it but... They all deserve each other.
(P.S. Did Julia call "The Boy" a doll? Awesome. He's turning.) 01-Mar-2021
Natalie and Mike's ferocious mother. Natalie turned into WandaVision for one night and it was glorious. Does her country allow her to be this independent and vocal? She was on a mission to get what she deserves. Mama came onboard to judge. Both women were hardheaded. Mama Ferocious smeared Rachel with butter and slapped her son with a tail and an elephant moniker. They were Avengers united in the quest to do what's best for Mike. Unload him/inherit him. Brava! Rachel won the day and our hearts. Has she? Madame Meow and her son. Meow forgot to check the other ten phones he's hiding at his girlfriend's house. He's setting her up and she is letting him. Why? It's dangerous to conceive that her actions are ok because she likes it. Andrew and Amira. Nasty, dude. Maybe what The Boy needs on the farm is a man. 26-Jan-2021
90 Day Fiance (2014-)
If this season doesn't wrap soon, I'm going to end up with a Russian accent. 19-Jan-2021
Mike and Natalie. Ukrainian is being Green Acred. Yara and Jovi. Her claws are nails hammered into a man's jacket but not the man. He's not in it because he's weaving his own shit. Stephanie and Ryan. Madam Meow caught a bird in her nest. She can't play with him like she does cats. They don't sit still. It's cuddles and swipes. He pecks her hard though. When her condition of madness worsens, we are embarrassed for her. Andrew and Amira. Andrew thinks he bought himself a bargain basement Mulan housemaid and caretaker. "Bro, she even kills men for me." Rebecca and Zied. Zied swagged like he was in one of those videos he watched on Beta in his own country five years ago. Rebecca's daughter and boyfriend contributed great face in internally exposing mother's mental ill-being. Call a doctor.
Daughter of Rebecca. If you don't want anyone confusing the asshole for your brother, die the hair. 12-Jan-2021
Dude, I swear I saw "The Boy" move. Poor Julia is definitely going to be "family dinner." The parents want "Boy" and "girl" in "separate rooms." She's alone in "Hobbit World: Creepy Campers." Good luck child. I hope you have friends. Mike and Natalie. America has made Natalie's curls limp and soft. I don't think she's noticed. When she does Hank is going to have to rustle up some carrots for her by the barrel full. Hank, whatever you do, send her back, don't leave her here with us. Jovi and Yara. Clever wench bespoke relationship and dollar bill expectations, he refuted, melted, gave in for the action, apologized and upgraded the relationship. A doll she shall become. Stephanie and Ryan. Stephanie, when he isn't answering your calls and texts, he's fucking. If it's been weeks, he's fucking, shacked up, enjoying life and turning the watches you sent him into gold. What does she think he needs them for? They are a poor country struggling to eat. Time doesn't matter. On the bright side, she probably fed plenty of villages. Maybe Stephanie needs the pain to feel alive again but if she values money she shouldn't. Keep playing with your cat. Rebecca and Zied. The only ones I give the benefit of the doubt to. Maybe you need to go far out to meet far out because you're far out. 28-Dec-2020
When you don't warn loser children about the reality of their limitations they turn to other planets to find worth. I'd rather fuck a pasty American than die on a crumbling planet. Brandon and Julia. The town was almost figuring out Brandon's sexual preference until the parents intercepted and set him up with a Russian bride. Brandon is the man who posed for "The Boy" doll, whose parents corroborate the backstory and whose actions cause a chill. Mike and Natalie. Drunker Blake Shelton engaged to Gwen Moscowitz. She might make his 2 feel like a 10 but his brain is mush. I don't get it. The intensity of her curls scare me. Rebecca and Zied. She's one of those people the parents couldn't convey the truth to and he's one of the assholes who noticed. Jovi and Yara. A doll and a pop-up. 08-Dec-2020
90 Day Fiance: The Other Way (2019-)
After sucking all of Jenny's earnings, Sumit's license plate will read "Lying Fucking Indian 2020." The sinful American daughters are no match for the guru of lies. At least they don't have to listen to mother pine for curry penis while he celebrates. The Gallos are getting married. Armando's thoughts shot right through the screen. "The money is mine, mine, mine. All of it. Fuck all thee cheeldren." The baby and Ariela took hot baby to a religious festival. Ariela worried for her child. The baby almost got wet! Her baby is the most sensitive being on the planet. Why are religious people so barbaric? She overreacted, apologized, declared her love for Ethiopion bendy straws and Sumit was not the only foreigner memorizing corny wench snagging romcoms. The mushrooms (Deavon & Jihoon) collapsed under their own gasses. Her dizzy aroma did not mesh with his stationary high. Pretty muslim boy is a terrorist bomb threat with no inheritance package. Brittany said, "fuck that, I'm going back to America. Be safe. Kisses." Smart girl. 30-Nov-2020
Sumit & Jenny. Sumit has earned the best supporting acting Oscar for 2021. He pleaded with the brownstones (parents) like he actually wanted to be married to a 500 year old fossil because he can't do any better or find a stabilized job. If Jenny does not wake up to the scam she will need mental health intervention. Tim left Melyza because dressing and holding a tiny doll in another country is very expensive. To elicit the tight doll like qualities of a foreigner he's going to have to stalk High School cheerleaders once he lands in America. The pain. Brittany and Yazan. Better hotter hairier brother held a conference with Brittany where he spilled Yazan's humiliations and castigations and demonstrated fuckable muslim sensitivity. Brittany is the smart American sister who decides with her brain and not with her partner's dick. Ariela and Baby. Ariela is full pod. There is no hope left for her and her mother knew it. The witches have clouded her mental health so she can withstand the torture of her child. They all lead miserable lives but not going to hell is a priority in a world with no God. It excuses all the evil they do. Stupid traditions belong in the fire. I smell a GLAAD Award for next week's episode. The Gallos get married with absolutely no rights to bind it! 22-Nov-2020
Geez. I almost forgot the gay darlings. First off, fuck them for using a clueless child (daughter) as a tool to make an audience sympathize with their political agenda. Armando did a great job passing the hate. The child was programmed to hate anything that would disagree with whatever daddy and granny croak say. The world pushes back daddies and the girl has no strength. When she acquires an opinion, it will bite them in the ass. Secondly, even if you get married, society doesn't accept, authorities wont honor it and the other laws will cancel it. Nope, wedding contract void. Next! Why bother. Did American croak do any homework? I understand Armando will fuck a cactus to smell a better life but it doesn't last long enough to matter. Eventually he'll have to become the man his wife was always telling him to become and what the daughter needs. Armando will walk away from the farce none the better and carry-on but his daughter might suffer. 16-Nov-2020
The patience testing episode. Ariela and Biniyam. American parents need to get a backbone. If foreign country parents can enslave and threaten to kill their children for their life choices the American parent can dish a whipping and withhold financial support to a dead end relationship. In Biniyam's world man exists to be satisfied (whoring, lying, and free money from easy options.) If Ariela expects respect she texted the wrong area code. I felt Ariela's parents' rage at the witch sisters, accusing their daughter of being tacky and rude whilst being tacky and rude themselves. If women don't have a say in their country, shut the fuck up. Ariela seems like she is breaking from the atmosphere. Good mental heath is a priority. Jenny and The Best Liar In India. Dude is gunning for an award for most convincing reality star. He doesn't want to marry Jenny but he likes her financial support. Bullocks. Jenny needs some help here. Her daughter-in-law gave great red face during the video chat. Send her to India to meet his parents. She'll fuck them up. They are trying to be patient and supportive. I get that. We have to stop being so wimpy though. Tell her. It won't go in right away but given the right moment it will click in when she needs it most. Sorry, Jenny. Tim and Melyza. Tim's mother had the best reaction to female cheating. Women do it to make sure they pick the right one or because they got dumped. 16-Nov-2020
Ariela and Biniyam. Big Baby suffers from Sumit lying syndrome and man whoredom. When a man exclaims he needs to be trusted, don't. His nasty family and stupid smirks do not endear him to humans. Mama Korea brought her kind persona and she was fun. Brittany and Yazan. She's fiddling with fate. I know the main reason why women have to cover-up in muslim countries. The men who dedicate a lifetime to prayer can't contain themselves around flesh. Horndogs. Don't ask them to change a diaper. Melyza played cool cat as mama "Karen" (Tim's mother) met her bet and raised it. Mama will call the police, even in another country if she thinks the slut is getting out of hand. The faux courtesy is just an American charm. 02-Nov-2020
90 Day Fiance: The Other Way (2019-)
Ariela enacted Rosemary's baby madness along with spiritual possession. Biniyam was dead set on peeling off the skin God gave his son because he didn't want his son to be shamed by other boys. Unless the boys spend all day playing with each other's dicks a better reason for shaming the boy is that he's lighter than them. Jenny financially supports one of the greatest liars in India, Sumit. End of story. I don't understand Brittany's need to self-destruct. She's beautiful, her dog is awesome, her dad is understanding and squishy. She seems to have a good life. I know, I know. Yazan represents the beast you've acquired but can't train which makes you manic but you try and try again to no avail. Dude, I totally understand. One look at Yazan and those bowed legs in a leather jacket, meeting a 4K version of himself as a younger sibling and an "I will kill you" authoritarian dad and gay asses are perked up and ready to go. Don't. Deavon Clegg thinks that men who masturbate to porn are cheaters. Is she aware what men are? That's all we do, we have great sex with our partners and daydream/masturbate about the better bitches we can't have. We all do it. Whatever powders mama Korea is using is working. Jihoon is so sad and pitiful, I had a strange desire to fuck him when he bent down to pick up a diaper. Don't ask his friends if he's cheating. Ask your friends and his girlfriends. Drascilla proved to be a handful as she invaded people's spaces and harshly dragged younger children around "meth park." Daddy Croak and Armando can't get married unless they create a big stink about it. It could be a sign from God. Where did they hide the daughter? Was the dog watching her? 02-Nov-2020
Cultural traditions must be adhered to and celebrated even it if its barbaric (sacrificing living things,) sexist (putting women in their 50's place,) ridiculous (lets you mutilate baby dick,) uneventful (a Korean wedding) and joyless (the whole world) or else. It's a preparation for life. What exactly? Eating sand? Ariela is Rosemary caring for her baby but incapable of realizing any of her confessionals. Biniyam is the poser who can't keep a wife or a child that has recruited a tribe to conquer or possess this one. When Ariela yelled enough, I felt the powders flutter away a bit but she's going to need mom to get dust the majority off. Yazan is fuckable danger. Blondie got divorced. Woohoo! Armando and croak daddy had their first recorded fight. Daddy America resented that Armando was spoiling his daughter with his money. He also wondered if they plotted nasty things behind his back while talking in Spanish. WTF? Yes. Daddy Croaks is locally offended that he has to live in Shrekland instead of Poppinland. Don't worry daddy, everything will appear clear as soon as you meet the younger cousin, friend or stranger that will save you from your current predicament. If I fell for Sumit's lies, I'd be Jenny. I never want to be Jenny. Deavan and Jihoon. She's the dreamer that thinks a waiter is a man. He's the bedwetter that gets what he wants. She's the glue that moves none of them forward. They quieted mama Korea. That was unfortunate for the truth. 26-Oct-2020
When discussing your future marriage with a child it should be in private. The child never looked at the croak but he hung by like the predator posing no threat but clutching every thread. A child is owed privacy so you can make sure that what your kid says isn't calculated or inculcated. The croak bore magnificent children until the smell of Mexican penis rode him to faraway lands where the suffering has been non-stop. That does not constitute authentic parenting. I was in the child's situation and the adult situation. I put a spell on the first so he wouldn't enter my room and my forever stepfather cast a mommy spell to evict him from our apartment. Y'all stink except the kid. Brittany get's the prize for performing the most idiotic goof ups on another person while keeping them interested. She's Blondie from the comics. They had sex. He's never had it so willing and he's hooked. Tim needs to fuck Melyza's mother to get even. Biniyam's sisters are scary. Keep them powders away. 19-Oct-2020
The more comfortable some people get in their relationships the more it depreciates for us. Brittany. I can't. Ok. Her mother looks great. The Ariela "car scheme" was bitter but Biniyam's fake expressions of concern were disconcerting. Sumit pretended to fight with his parents to insure that a marriage between him and Jenny never takes place. Tim can go home now. He's looking the fool with every humiliation Melyza serves. What's next, she's pregnant by another man? Ken's daddy card has been switched to a library card. Instead of supplying support to Armando during family distress he worried how he was going to be perceived. He really has some American cojones. It's the kid's family and problem. He should be able to resolve it without shoving a croc's face into it. It's the new American telling foreigners how to live except it sounds like the old one. Armando loses major dad points for paying his burden little mind. Every single person is full of themselves. 12-Oct-2020
90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After Tell All (2020)
Angela, did you get into a fight? Mrs. Bates is hilarious. Eric acted like he took a course in clowning and failed. Since when does family own individuals? The way people act on social media is how they treat each other at home? Eeek. No one has a free thought. If Michael needs his aunty to teach Angela what he is entitled to, he is not the man for the "babymaking" job. So say the spirits. The host asked Syngin to wave his hair back and forth and I chilled. 07-Oct-2020
Andrei was a cause for American consternation as he declared himself a jigger, a wife, a mother, the household and the man of the house. The Americans reacted like someone took their right to vote away. I would have been much angrier at him if I weren't imagining him motorboating Larissa while Syngin jumped up and down, hair back and forth. Joy. Norman and Mrs. Bates tried to state their case for the normalization of psycho. "She deserved it, she's a money grubbing whore." So was Janet Leigh but she didn't deserve to die. The rocking chair (mother) attempted to stabilize the accusations but Norman was too busy slobbering onto the cameras. It's ok, only fat hags, 12 year olds and stoopid girls got the gist. Eric seemed frustrated that there was no camera under his seat. So was I! Tonya only chimed in when the word psycho or narcissistic was raised. I wasn't looking at Angela's mask, I was looking at the bruises and scratches on her arms. Asuelo is not playing volleyball every day. Nobody likes the sport that much unless you're a coach, an athlete or someone who can hit. He looks like neither. The only thing he's hitting is his dick. 27-Sep-2020
90 Day Fiance: Happily Ever After? (2016-)
Angela acted up a storm quantifying why she chose dik before mom. Octus ran out of Brazilian opportunists and blamed his mom for his douchery. Mama Bates deduced that Norman must fend for himself and she laughed and laughed. Syngin couldn't figure out if to get fatter or stay home. I'm still fucking Andrei with my eyes closed. Asuelu can't claim to be the head of a tribe if he doesn't provide for it. If he is the chief the mother claims him to be, there would be no money problems because big man would have earned it. Fuck him Kalani. More Eric ass "money shots" and Larissa charms enclosed. 23-Sep-2020
Kalani & Asuelu. Asuelu's family is a condition of suffering and bullshit that Kalani and her children don't need to burden themselves with. Elizabeth & Andrei. He's a monster you greedily fuck but never stare deep at. The wedding was mafia orchestration with lots of pork for meaty man ass and aggressive bulges. Sweet daddy footed the bill and big brother spat indignation. Paul & Karine. I finally understand why he took Karine to the shit chocolate waste factory. He wanted to show her that the worst places in America are still better than her hometown. What a dik. Colt sounds and looks like Octus from Sym-Bionic Titan, has the etiquette of an unwanted hand slider and creepy as fuck. His contempt and desire for women bulldozes their goals. Mother is the beast he can't slay so every woman is fodder. Larissa & Eric. Larissa was knocked out under plastic so Eric enacted a silly skit where it appeared he waited hours (7 mins. tops) but it was just an excuse to watch him pace back and forth. It was all fake worry and new booby play anticipation. Without the charms of Larissa to entertain us the cameraman oddly opted to focus on Eric's sloppy, puffed out and squishy ass print. 14-Sep-2020
Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)
The female staff dressed as transexuals for rich man money. Chef Robin (w/out Batman) had a hissy over warm temp fish. Rich people eat food below a 5 temperature. Wow. So is a 12 poor people food? Captain supported the Chef hissies up to a point. As soon as he thought wearing panties constituted a vagina, Cap put her in her place. He was still backdoor bitchy but an ass-fingering calmed him down. Pretty Jesus pretended his dick was a cucumber. Pretty Jesus and rocket were getting it on when Deck Ratched established that rich assholes don't pay to watch the holy fuck. Really? 22-Sep-2020
Male money devised a rich plan to swipe female crew. Teach them self-defense and let them win. Hysterical.
Aesha missed "normal" people.
Chef Nasty Fucker lost it over some fresh dick sponges that didn't arrive in time. 14-Sep-2020
The snow sifter moved the boat all by herself and saved two lives. Lots of energy. She saved a charter that confused her high legs with her sea legs and a comrade that floats. A charter concocted a clever way to call her friend a fat fuck. She only apologized after hot daddy snapped her neck back into place. Chef served no legs but bounteous food. I wished it had been the other way around. A sense of draining exhaustion hit pretty Jesus when his ex reached out. I saw his dik shrink during his Shakespearean outbursts and disappear when his rocket sat next to him. It's ok rocket, his next girlfriend is going to fuck the pretty right out him. 31-Aug-2020
Post Hannah all is a celebration of what I term "cute." Romance rides the waves to titanic (disaster,) dancers make it back onboard (fear), fuckers got trained to listen (men,) guests returned to sliming (sex,) all because Hanna no longer breathes the same air. I miss being depressed with Hannah...and Kiko. 25-Aug-2020
Captain got "Ellen" on Hannah.
Hannah was lawfully hoisted.
Malia kept lawfully exonerating herself, for the cameras. (Boat snatching is a job requisite.)
A charter who wanted to make Bugs a bunny brought a 32" dildo onboard for the crew to connect with and for Bugs to twirl. They missed a golden opportunity by not introducing it to the captain. The dildo wasn't as offensive as the person who needed it and used it.
Complicit Chef leggy suffers from prissy imperfection anxiety. Shells on a shell plate is a no no. White people don't chew. It's suck, swallow. No wonder Malia needs control of the boat. 17-Aug-2020
New sweet gams squish.
Malia commandeered the entire boat but mostly Hannah, so she can have squishy time with her boyfriend. A deed that would end up in court if a man lead the charge.
Why is Adam allowed worst sexual innuendo etiquette than dickhand? Where's dickhand? 11-Aug-2020
90 Day Fiance: The Other Way (2019-)
With one little tap, Jihoon expressed to Deavan's brat what he would do to her if the cameras weren't around. Armando celebrated the unity of his newfound gay family. They are protective and supportive of him for as long as father and American hypocrisy allows. Brittany's fame whoredom is deadly. Why can Yazan's family find Brittany nasty pics but not her marriage license? If Sumit doesn't need family permission to fuck, he doesn't need them to get married. Fuck off. 01-Sep-2020
Jihoon's family presented very well. Grandmother was especially open. Korean mother taught her "idiot daughter in-law" how to make a feast for a family celebration (they bring money.) Deavan challenged the cook but Korean mother laughed and sliced her way through the conversation and discontinued the lesson.
Worshipping family hierarchy and the religion it boasts does not enrich the lives of their country or its people. It just keeps them chained together in misery.
Mother/daughter splintered Jihoon's ears after he was incapable of saving Deavan's brat. A woman cannot shuck her responsibility because there is a man present. Considering modern woman can do "everything," loafing all day and critiquing how a man should perform should allow her enough time to look after her own kids. Mama Korean kept checking on baby Jihoon to make sure he wasn't crying and to make sure her powders were working.
Daddy business proposal and his ilk harangued Armando on flaming out to his parents about engagements and public displays of affections. Armando seemed incapable of catching his breath while they piled the same questions, over and over. Sorry old man. You're in foreign country, problem solving is a difficult application, white privileged assholes disappear all the time and you want to buy some courage?
Brittany. Stop it. Good run but the fifteen are up. Her scenes remind me of Hostel.
Ariela needs a head start. "Run before the sisters bounce all over you." 18-Aug-2020
Armando's stimulus check arrived early.
Tim continued his "I don't fuck no more strange pussy" campaign to the chagrin of Melyza's father who wanted him cancelled. Melyza spoke of the importance of parental approval then dismissed it as soon as they didn't agree. The woman just wants to see Tim hurt.
The fabulist was upset because Yazan didn't tell her she had three days to become a muslim or else. The married lady threw a fit, daddy threw his macho out, the parents fitted her ankles for chains and they all lived happily ever after.
Deavan's mother lectured Jihoon on being less of a man. She slugged hugged him after he agreed to do better. He ouched, felt fear and and bored hate right through her. Mama Korean raced home to mix special powders to get rid of that perception. 11-Aug-2020
Below Deck: Sailing Yacht (2020-)
Jen protested and slimed with the cook.
Georgia celebrated freedom by calling Jen a bully and telling her bff that she had designs on her husband. She goes Love Island and tells daddy too.
Paget's dick-o-meter flew in so many directions, I thought he was going to explode. Every time he got close to Ciara, the meter resisted, it was pointing elsewhere and he made it obvious. The moment when his meter is pointed straight at her (his worth,) is priceless.
Happy deck grew on me.
Adam's chirpiness can come off as secretly plotting.
Byron finally got to go home and put all those nasty thoughts to rest.
Madison is a bright spot that makes me laugh.
The captain earned his daddy stripes. 29-May-2020
The dysfunctional guests creeped and Popeye politely reprimanded Olive Oyl for spending too much time on Adam's face and she reciprocated by using her female empowerment to rampage against her underlings and proclaiming that man worship prioritizes all job responsibilities. 19-May-2020
Adam got horny again.
Women are impeded from good work with a penis in their face.
Madison's stab at Kim and Kanye, beheaded.
Happy deck's pajama bulge might warrant why he's happy.
Ciara couldn't curtail her man so she turned in a female colleague. Brava! That's empowerment. 11-May-2020
Captain had his spinach and almost blew the boat over.
Madison only bitched for half the show. Joy.
Georgia needs to drop her mic.
Parker in his skivvies. I think I found Georgia's mic.
Jenna was groundhogging... miscommunication with man, over and over.
Come on Ciara, you can take her.
Adam. He only found his trousers after cuming inside Jenna. She is safe until the next cycle.
A dangerous threesome is about to explode. May the best woman win? Really?
Georgia, you shouldn't flirt if it changes the flow.
Madison appeared to be chill, creating negative balls of energy to allow us to perceive and laugh at the ridiculous circumstances they are in but she's being ghost boated because she truly truly believes it.
Byron doesn't talk much but gives the impression that he's always thinking about sex.
Adam didn't realize that women appreciate the money put into getting them flowers. It has nothing to do with flowers.
There is way too much happiness emanating from the new deck.
The boat was stocked with super Cleopatras on tiptoe allowing macho toxicity to beg for something women no longer give. The primary pulled away from a hug before giving it and handed the captain the envelope on the second reach. That felt very supreme.
Alas, the best was saved for last, as the cameraman went Hitchcock and directed Adam's rampage like the conversations Norman Bates had with his mother. If it was true, it was sadly hilarious. 28-Apr-2020
Money solved all their problems.
The only funny the brutes laid out was calling chef, Ted Bundy. The saddest thing chef did was exhibit why. 17-Mar-2020
The chugalug got invaded by woke tacks radiating American political correctness as growled on social media. They use the black guy to intimidate the boat, they have no respect for work, time, money or sex and the show needs to punish them for it. I know that cameramen don't interfere but under these circumstances they have to. Is that a rule now?
(I think the chief stew and the chef get paid extra to hookup.) 10-Mar-2020
Sailing is an experience that whelms whilst you're doing it. Watching people and things keel over only titillates once.
The crew is intent on capturing attention but they are bland fish hooked on a line.
Pro reproduction banishment conversations are welcome. 26-Feb-2020
90 Day Fiance: The Other Way, Tell All (2019)
The silences were as creepy as the perjury. The individuals allowed the worst to happen to them because they misconstrued social media's message of full acceptance. When danger is involved, you allow mental clarity to check in, not ask it to make you blind. It was an unintentional Halloween special that intrigued and horrified with no special thought. We yelled at the screen but they didn't listen. Everyone knows that Cinderella marrying Shrek is bad. 21-Oct-2019
Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club (2019-)
There is no more knowledge to be absorbed by watching these people. 05-Mar-2019
Lohan exhibited crazed unprofessionalism. 27-Feb-2019
They have a zero tolerance for violence but they don't punish anyone for it. How 2019.
"Ambassador" is rich code word for whore. The reason the pretties keep failing at their job is because they don't know that. 05-Feb-2019
"Pretty" enslaved to the rich for a buck. 17-Jan-2019
Selling Jets (2015-)
The art of the slippery salesman is lauded. The entitled humbly pretend it's a necessity as they validate that they are the biggest pillagers of the environment. 28-Nov-2018