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All Posts Tagged as 'Scary'

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Joe Millionaire: For Richer Or Poorer (2022-) Woof

The unbalanced black flat chick ended her rage after it was discovered that she was too mentally unwell (she spoke truths that insane people don't want to hear). White people like to have fun. They don't whine if their hair frizzes up like their foe. They just reinvent it. The latin mother is so obsessed with her conquest that it feels like she has a cartel up her ass forcing her to do so. Adios. My pecker is like a compass and the needle is not pointing to either Joe. Can we bring original Joe in? He may be a hideous bear now but I'm sure he can still make slurps sing. 23-Jan-2022
It took two bachelors to add up to one Joe Millionaire. The original's historical "slurp around the world" was magnificence. My pecker picked the poor one until I got to know him then I switched. Tarzan hair is fun but he's such a pendejo. He has no sexual entitlement. Cowboy Cheeky is fuckable in a Chucky kind of way. He has a bubbly ass. In my day, they would have called the contestants, escapees from mental institutions. A desperate "housewife to be" decides to wear the same dress as another contestant. Neither chose to "rock" the shitty dress and left it up to the millionaire to decide which tacky slut filled it the least. It depends how gay the men are. Black girl gets drunk and starts feeling used. She goes on a rant. White girls are not having it so they plot. Mothers of America. Shame on You! You've turned your daughters into dumb sluts competing for basic. Original Joe hands. Classic. 10-Jan-2022

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, Comfort Food, Cowboy, Crapfun, Daddy Squish, Emasculating, Fake, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Hilarious, Over the Top, Overcooked, Pitchy, Predictable, Preposterous, Psychological, Reality, Revenge, Romance, Scary, Showy, Shrill Act, Silly, Stupid Funny, Tacky, Tough, Wit Crack, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Tough

Filed under: TV

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23-Jan-2022


Pinocchio (2019) Bites

Someone thought that realizing one of the most horrifying fairy tales to live film was a whimsical idea. The director wastes little time on magic and spends most of it on ugliness. He realized all the threats in a boy's life and all the insanity of the myth. A boy that really isn't a boy is considered a genderless fuck opportunity. Pedos prefer gender non-specific children because it's the baby smell they're after. Pinocchio is the perfect victim. Unique, beautiful, stupid, excited, rebellious and cooperative. The puppet gets enslaved, murdered, robbed, betrayed, hated, abused and exploited. Pinocchio cannot become a boy because his ADD doesn't allow him to sit still long enough to accept love and he's kind of an asshole. I'd be an asshole too if I were created to give hugs and tickles to ugly men. Oops, I was! The director rushes through plot points and changes nothing to make the ordeal acceptable. Why does wood eat? Why doesn't he rust or flake? What is the fairy's deal? His growing nose is a hard-on, not a lie. Jiminy Cricket sucked. It's a horror movie. Becoming a boy only grants him a hole. The world around him still sucks. 29-Dec-2021

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Action, Brutal, Creepy, Drama, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Horror, Indecipherable, Mean Spirited, Preposterous, Scary, Tacky, Tough, Trashy, Twinkie, Violent, Weird

Filed under: Movies

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29-Dec-2021


Chucky (2021-) ArfUpgradeWoof

The mythology exploded into bits. The Frankenstein and Gremlins intermingle registered anew. Tiffany erupted into a countess of evil. Our favorite orphans showed and blew shit up. In style. Little gay boys kicked ass. The twists and consequences were ridiculously entertaining. Chucky popped a different pill and surprised us. He's become a deeper hallucination. I love how his doll legs flail when he's killing someone. He says all the stupid shit we're thinking. He's hilarious. Lip synch has improved. He's fucking awesome. It was a bang with a but. I was not amused by the Chucky Show at the end. 03-Dec-2021
S1E6. Chucky celebrated Mother's Day by being a cruel adult. Black gay boyfriend is sweet. The babies are creating a vibe. Main baby needs to step up the emotion. I can see him staring at the nothing he sees when the director yells at him otherwise. Tiffany tickled. Chucky delighted and the show didn't give a shit. It dared cancel people we liked. That's scary. 24-Nov-2021
Hello Gladys Kravitz. 20-Oct-2021
Chucky's back and he hasn't aged. Tech needs to fix his lip-synching. It's off. Chucky is owned by an angry teen with artistic deficiencies and obscure classmates. Hateful characters abound so we can watch murder without guilt. The teenager walks around with a giant doll throughout the school day and makes it home safe. WTF? Chucky supplied giggles, guffaws and revenge. Go Chucky! 15-Oct-2021

Tags: 2020s, Action Fun, Art, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Classic, Crapfun, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Director's Slice, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fantasy, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay, Heart Writ, Hilarious, Horror, Mean Spirited, Nostalgic, Over the Top, Scary, Silly, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Sweet, Timid, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough

Filed under: TV

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03-Dec-2021


Babysitter, The (1995) Arf

Alicia Silverstone's baby's breadth drives all the boys and men to ferocious perverted thoughts. The victim is mildly annoyed and unaware of how struck her admirers are. She ignores all sexual advances and treats them as man/boy quirks that only occur when no one is looking. The male fantasies are an intrusive director ploy but the sentiments are not. Girly is going to get fucked in the end, but by whom. It's half the town. 27-Nov-2021

Tags: 1990s, Accidental Watch, Action, Chemistry, Drama, Good Acting, Mystery, Scary, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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27-Nov-2021


Squid Game (2021) Full Moon

If you can't afford happy things, you become bitter, if your are unable to provide, you become addicted and if you can't eat, you die. It's called poverty. A group of instinctual individuals are given the opportunity to have their financial struggles resolved. They have to play children's games that are only safe in rhythm but not rhyme. If you lose, you die. If you win, it's a lot. The characters are specific, writing is a brainstorm and the whole is an abundance of I've never seen anything like this before. 07-Oct-2021
S1E7. The VIPs were from Palm Springs. 05-Oct-2021
S1E4. I am petrified and addicted. 01-Oct-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Best In Drama, Brutal, Chemistry, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Art, Discomfort, Drama, Foreign, From Another Planet, Game Show, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Heartbreaking, Hot Swatch, Music Rocks, Mystery, Political, Psychological, Relationships, Scary, Sci-Fi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Sweet, Tough, Twisty, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Funny, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight, Writ Tough, Writing Reigns

Filed under: TV

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07-Oct-2021


Fear Street Part One: 1994 (2021) Woof

Teen lesbians break up after the other moves to a better town and starts hooking up with boys. A jealous and violent prank accidentally disrupts a force that sends undead serial killers to obliterate them. The director has ballsy energy and the kids read well. It pays homage to the slasher film while making the violence more palpable and incorporating lots of baby kickass fun. 02-Jul-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action Fun, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Director's Art, Enthusiastic, Funny, Heart Writ, Horror, Lesbian, Music Swings, Mystery, Political Satire, Relationships, Scary, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Tough, Trashy, Violent, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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02-Jul-2021


Child's Play 2 (1990) Woof

This is primo Chucky and Andy. It's ridiculous but hilarious. The parents are knobs being foster parents to a teenage lesbian with survival skills and a traumatic Andy who's mother has been institutionalized for believing in human dolls. Chucky is alive, more expressive and an artistic cunt. The toy factory was it. 24-Jun-2021

Tags: 1990s, Action, Action Fun, Baby Wrecks, Camp, Chemistry, Creepy, Director's Art, Drama, Enthusiastic, Good Voice Act, Hilarious, Kool Effects, Music Swings, Mystery, Scary, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Tacky, Tough, Trashy, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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24-Jun-2021


Goodnight, Mommy (2014)  Howl

Mother returns home after cosmetic surgery. She is burdened with twin boys, bandaged, tired, snarly and in need of recuperation. The boys are lonely and constantly interrupting her beauty rest which makes her upset and overreactive. The boys become convinced that the woman hiding under the bandages is not their mother. She's more violent than usual. The boys test her extensively and unbearably. They want to prove she's a fraud. "Misery" mayhem is top notch, direction has balls and the cast is deadly. 17-Jun-2021

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Best In Foreign, Best In Horror, Brutal, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Director's Art, Drama, Foreign, Funny, Sort of, Good Idea, Great Acting, Horror, Mystery, Scary, Slow, Suspense, Thriller, Tough, Violent, Weird, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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17-Jun-2021


Married At First Sight Australia (2015-)  Woof

Season 6 was withheld from us because we are not mature enough to handle emotional failure. Hades and his coven interpret every relationship based on a fairytale and are genuinely horrified when reality proves it untrue. Hades unleashes romper terminators to seduce Ares and Hercules to ignite the audience and insult the wives. I could taste the master's lava. I threw up but didn't explode. 01-Oct-2020

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Enthusiastic, Fun, Fun Acting, Funny, Hilarious, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Mean Spirited, Over the Top, Overcooked, Psychological, Reality, Romance, Scary, Star Watt, Sweet, Wig Crack, Words Spoke, Writ For Short Attn Spans

Filed under: TV

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27-May-2021


Married At First Sight (2014-) Howl

Reunion 2. Haley & Jacob. Captain Rio was de feathered because Shrek dragons are heralded as heroes and roosters are unforgivable if they can't bring their chicks to climax. Daddy needs to go oink. We love the 80s and sitting on floppy dicks. Brown Robin. Dude, are you flirting with me? (see pic above.) I accept. Erik. Daddy was punished for being fatherly towards his daughter and not accepting that a girl her age needs to socialize with other boys. Wink, wink. Shlumber Party! The experts. Why didn't the ladies sit together? Woke hug moments missed. Wow. Dr. Pepper looked at Dr. Viv without contempt. Chris became a legal dispute. "We didn't know he was a schmuck. We got fooled just like everybody else. What are we experts? Good God." The children closed the show with a request to the viewers to treat them like the semi-gods they came on TV to be not like celebrities from Hollywood. Play-acting is real.

(Next season: cats! Dr Viv and hats! I'm on it.) 26-May-2021
Virginia & Erik. The big bad wolf, little red riding hood and grandma guts joined the reunion. Daddy was very proud of his little girl gushing googles and acting all Romper Room. If Virginia were a drunk she would remember something offputting about her buddies instead she feels closer to them after their slumber parties. Good cheap wine. Feminism cancelled "whoredom the thought" but not the feeling. Sorry, can't teach her anything. Pajama party on! Is that red cup mine? (I see drunk vaginal exams in her future.) Clara & Ryan. Ryan is still a "pussy" virgin. He'd rather marry her again than fuck her. Poor Starfire. Briana & Vincent. They were cute. Vincent got me when he laughed at the horse clip thinking about what I said. Looks like a pork roast is in daddy's future. The boss is gone. Chris & Paige. Everybody hates Chris and the show will do what's legally possible to humiliate him. 19-May-2021
Some contestants remained homeless. Dr. Pep stared at Dr. Viv with the same dread as a cat. There is no cure for bossy. 13-May-2021
Contract negotiations are up and the married strangers have to decide if the extra money is worth faking it for another year. Brown Robin & Hillbilly Starfire. I have no idea what he's saying and somebody needs to check her pilot light. Briana & Vincent. I knew he hated her. He wants a wife that will keep him company, light his stove and cook some delicious pork, not a congressional candidate. Why did she make him apologize for having a sexual preference but she couldn't return the courtesy for being bossy? Bossy is not attractive or empowering. They cancel people for that. See Leah Michelle. If he needs to change, she needs to change or some pork bitch is gonna steal him. Oops. He had his vengeance. He fucked up her hair! Haley & Jacob. The production offered her a lot of money and she is homeless. The dinner found them wanting to smirk, giggle and compare how much each received in contract negotiations. They couldn't even fake it. Virginia & Erik. The individuals were asked scripted questions by their very stiff friends except for Erik's daughter. Her sleepover pal (wink, wink) cowboy'd up, gave her a nod and asked "how much we gettin'?" Father is bossy too but children need enforcement so they don't grow up bossy. 29-Apr-2021
Virginia & Erik. Daddy was astounded that his cheating wife doesn't like surprises. The cats. Dude, speak to Doctor Viviana. She knows how to secretly get rid of cats. Briana & Vincent. Squish squirmed when his wife admitted to thieving. Did he marry a thug? The horse. Latin men think that if they fall off a horse, the horse will try to fuck them. Haley & Jacob. Haley didn't care that she and her partner knew all the game answers about each other, she was still punishing him for being a bad fuck. When daddy Rio drank from the trophy cup I wanted to bear Haley's burden. Oy. Brown Robin and Hillbilly Starfire made it to the retreat. The secret to a rotund butt is to eat lots of chips with dip and never stick your dick in a vagina. 15-Apr-2021

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Chemistry, Comedy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Reality, Relationships, Scary, Shrill Act, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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26-May-2021


Devil-Doll, The (1936) Woof

Escaped prisoner hitches a ride with a dying scientist who wants to make it home so he and his wife can shrink people to change the world. The protagonist just wants to avenge the men who set him up and gain his daughter's respect. The escapees make it to the wife's cottage. A frightfully wonderful Rafaela Ottiano plays the faithful wife who has maintained his experiments and awaited his arrival. They want to shrink people so they can consume less and help the environment. It starts with dogs, jumps to lowly humans and precipitates into people you want canceled. Lionel Barrymore is top notch as the set-up guy lucking into revenge. The dolls have brilliant moments and shoddy ones. The dolls are a cameo to the story of a man that has to become a woman to safeguard his family and prove his innocence. 24-May-2021

Tags: 1930s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Achievement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Horror, Mystery, Relationships, Revenge, Scary, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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24-May-2021


Housemaid, The (2010) Woof

Shuttered young woman accepts a job caring for a very well established family. Wife is made of plastic things and pregnant with twins. She believes her silent brute won't cheat on her because she's the perfect wife having miracle twins. "A man does not cheat on perfection." That is her motto and her curse. The eldest child is a delightful package. She is brave to say what's on her mind and sorry if it offends. A matriarch of servitude is the expert of the house, teaching the young woman how back breaking and useless it is making rich people happy. She is Mrs. Danvers, respectfully. Plotting, conniving, avenging, infiltrating and non-stop hurting to become like part of the family. Daddy is a self-absorbed god. Maid is a sexual magnet. An imperfect powerless naif to be completely his. The mother of the house is an awesome witch ready to set fire to anything that brings shame to their name. The scandal turns ingratiating maid into a hostile. The women cancel her for breaching family code... " you don't steal sperm from family gods that you are serving without asking the women first. Revenge is awesome. 10-May-2021

Tags: 2010s, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Elegance, Foreign, Funny, Sort of, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Relationships, Revenge, Romance, Scary, Sexy, Star Watt, Subtle, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

Filed under: Movies

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10-May-2021


Married At First Sight (2014-) Howl

Virginia & Eric. Daddy tried to impress his daughter with his Snoopy skills. He was the Red Baron. She complained that he didn't spend enough time with her family. Daddy doesn't want to hang around people his age. It's nerve wracking. Briana & Vincent. Lucy plotted for Ricky to see her dance, he trained to ignore her. She fully acclaimed herself, he was full of boredom. She teased maternity and snapped his attention back but when she extended the expiration date he held back. "A dancer, my ass!" Clara & Ryan. He's failed every mental health wellness test I can think of. Of course he's willing to have relationships with her family. He doesn't have to fuck them either. He makes his vibrant wife "hand job" him every night because she is not worthy of full penetration. I want him and Chris to make a Fans Only video. I want to see Chris alligator fuck the shit out of Ryan's balloon clown ass. Haley & Jacob. My favorite bird (Rio) and princess (Lilly of The Valley) competed for alphadom. Jacob needs to bend over immediately because her strap is hard and he lost. Did daddy call himself an eagle and her a dragon? Like the one in Shrek? 15-Apr-2021
Chris explained to Pastor Cal that the reason he was explosive on the show is because they set him up with a grenade. I wished El Pastor would have utilized some of the cheap scenery and bashed him with it. The experts were so professional that it felt like they were reading my mind. Virginia and Erik. One of the disadvantages of being a daddy is you get to watch your little girl go on dates and come home plastered. Haley and Jacob. All I heard were inner screams during Haley's therapy session. "If he touches me again...I'll scream...I swear it!" Oooh maybe he's CIA. Clara and Ryan. Clara, don't beg for sex. Men who make their partners wait for sex usually suck at it. She needs to renew her contract and corral herself the tallest man of her dreams. Briana and Vincent. Ricky Ricardo schemed to get Lucy to agree to let him sleep late with his newly conceptualized financial budget. Lucy swallowed the budget like a seal eating fish. When Briana told Vincent that she was afraid to have children, all was still except for the profanities swirling in his head. Well-played ladies! 08-Apr-2021
The unmentionable couple. His voice makes me put a lock on my ass even though it splits her vagina. Go figure. Alligator dick is making her look like a stupid horny cheerleader. Ryan and Clara. Bottom boy doesn't know how to satisfy a woman. A horny hillbilly doesn't help. Experts need to set up "gay alerts" with butchy lesbians like the Australian version. (It wakes up identity at supreme velocity.) Jacob and Haley. Herman Munster and any strange white woman down the street. Haley needs to stop signing NDAs. Besides a two incher, a fast cummer or an accidental choker, I don't understand the dilemma. Did he confuse the meaning of cunnilingus? Did he make her lick his hairy ass? Did he not wipe? We wanna know. Erik and Virginia. There is no life for her without her drunk fuck buddies. They're lords of her ring. Old daddy showed "wife duly fuck" appreciation by taking her flying. Vincent and Briana. It feels like he's faking it. His insecurities can't solidify love. 24-Mar-2021
The show let the dogs out so Doctora Viviana could pet them. See, she likes animals, just not cats. There was a harrowing moment when Haley's adorable dog was seen judging Viviana but she caught him and gave him stink-eye. The dog magically disappeared. Haley and Jacob. Dude, she's been acting like this ever since you fucked her. There are two types of screams in the world and her aura ain't spelling delighted. 18-Mar-2021

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Chemistry, Comedy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Reality, Relationships, Scary, Shrill Act, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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15-Apr-2021


Blood Moon (2021) Arf

This is an almost horror classic because it built good character relationships but sidestepped showing us the horror. Most scares evolved from the predicament of the main characters which added some suspense but the director was afraid to delve into action. Too bad. We all missed out. 29-Mar-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Cultural, Drama, Heart Writ, Horror, Predictable, Relationships, Scary, Timid, Timid Effects, Words Spoke

Filed under: Movies

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29-Mar-2021


Married At First Sight (2014-) Howl

Virginia and Erik. Virginia invited some of her slumber fucks over and they got along swimmingly with Erik. They had so much of one thing in common. Briana and Erik. Big guy, small dick? Clara and Ryan. Ryan invited his ex and significant other. The ex kept smirking uncomfortably. He was embarrassed for his bottom boy. Significant other got paid to cheer. Haley and Jacob. I can see the hate in her eyes whenever anyone casts him in a good light. She's clenching her teeth, screaming "can't you see it!?" I can see it girl! I wouldn't want to birth him a daughter with that nose either. 03-Mar-2021
Virginia and Erik. Why didn't El Pastor ask Virginia if she would give up drinking for a successful marriage when they whisked her away from that party on the beach? Veronica, even children use slumber parties as an excuse to fuck. Erik knows all the answers to a successful relationship. Why is he here with this child? Clara and Ryan. The couple can no longer contain the frozen smiles on their faces. They're melting. She's about to jump out of her skin and bottom pocket has malfunctions. Eek. Briana & Vincent. He doesn't seem genuine. Hailey and Jacob. She hates him. Jacob intimated that all white people are Karens. We no longer have to wonder. Paige. I was hoping to get closure to this catastrophe but no one had the balls. El Pastor came a knocking to have Paige announce to the court that she was not coerced into being a stranger's sex puppet. Maybe she acquiesced because she was assured by experts that it would be safe. If El Pastor wanted to redeem himself, he would have let Paige talk, have Chris listen but not say anything, annul the marriage and tell him to get the fuck off the show. Next week: and the beat goes on. 24-Feb-2021
When a woman tells her husband it's not clicking she's telling him his dick did not make her vagina go clackety clack. She's being nice. Four husbands attempted zipping their wives. Only one succeeded. His dick clicked with her vagina. The other three wives did shut up. BLM attacked the MAF bus. BLM apologized at dinner but Proud boys showed up late and served him raw sushi and steak knives. Boom!

How long are these quacks going to make Paige suffer? 18-Feb-2021
Erik and Virginia. She's high energy, he's a horny old nerd enjoying a young chick. It will kill him, tire him or oops, with the right drug mixture, reenergize him. Vincent and Brianna. I will rub his head as soon he stops pretending he has the answer to everything. Jacob and Haley. Daddy has singe body. Mama wife needs to feel it somewhere in the dark, share it and turn her back on it as soon as he pounces. Ryan and Clara. Ryan is a super pocket daddy. He is super because he's a diamond in the ruff, hung, confident, manly and willing to seem 10 feet tall. I want to play with that piece of art laying across his head. I love it. If she sluts, he's out. Chris and Paige. The Wolf and Little Red Riding Hood. The Wolf's pack/family portrayed a gang rape mentality when discussing The Wolf's bride. Disgusting. They all wanted to bang her big butt like it wasn't attached to a person.

Whomever has the cat must have Viviana visit. She hates them! 01-Feb-2021

Tags: 2010s, 2020s, Chemistry, Comedy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Funny, Hot Swatch, Over the Top, Reality, Relationships, Scary, Shrill Act, Wit Crack, Wit Snit

Filed under: TV

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03-Mar-2021




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