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Movies Posts Tagged as 'Scary'

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Pinocchio (2019) Bites

Someone thought that realizing one of the most horrifying fairy tales to live film was a whimsical idea. The director wastes little time on magic and spends most of it on ugliness. He realized all the threats in a boy's life and all the insanity of the myth. A boy that really isn't a boy is considered a genderless fuck opportunity. Pedos prefer gender non-specific children because it's the baby smell they're after. Pinocchio is the perfect victim. Unique, beautiful, stupid, excited, rebellious and cooperative. The puppet gets enslaved, murdered, robbed, betrayed, hated, abused and exploited. Pinocchio cannot become a boy because his ADD doesn't allow him to sit still long enough to accept love and he's kind of an asshole. I'd be an asshole too if I were created to give hugs and tickles to ugly men. Oops, I was! The director rushes through plot points and changes nothing to make the ordeal acceptable. Why does wood eat? Why doesn't he rust or flake? What is the fairy's deal? His growing nose is a hard-on, not a lie. Jiminy Cricket sucked. It's a horror movie. Becoming a boy only grants him a hole. The world around him still sucks. 29-Dec-2021

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Action, Brutal, Creepy, Drama, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Horror, Indecipherable, Mean Spirited, Preposterous, Scary, Tacky, Tough, Trashy, Twinkie, Violent, Weird

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29-Dec-2021


Babysitter, The (1995) Arf

Alicia Silverstone's baby's breadth drives all the boys and men to ferocious perverted thoughts. The victim is mildly annoyed and unaware of how struck her admirers are. She ignores all sexual advances and treats them as man/boy quirks that only occur when no one is looking. The male fantasies are an intrusive director ploy but the sentiments are not. Girly is going to get fucked in the end, but by whom. It's half the town. 27-Nov-2021

Tags: 1990s, Accidental Watch, Action, Chemistry, Drama, Good Acting, Mystery, Scary, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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27-Nov-2021


Fear Street Part One: 1994 (2021) Woof

Teen lesbians break up after the other moves to a better town and starts hooking up with boys. A jealous and violent prank accidentally disrupts a force that sends undead serial killers to obliterate them. The director has ballsy energy and the kids read well. It pays homage to the slasher film while making the violence more palpable and incorporating lots of baby kickass fun. 02-Jul-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action Fun, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Director's Art, Enthusiastic, Funny, Heart Writ, Horror, Lesbian, Music Swings, Mystery, Political Satire, Relationships, Scary, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Tough, Trashy, Violent, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Thoughtful, Writ Tight

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02-Jul-2021


Child's Play 2 (1990) Woof

This is primo Chucky and Andy. It's ridiculous but hilarious. The parents are knobs being foster parents to a teenage lesbian with survival skills and a traumatic Andy who's mother has been institutionalized for believing in human dolls. Chucky is alive, more expressive and an artistic cunt. The toy factory was it. 24-Jun-2021

Tags: 1990s, Action, Action Fun, Baby Wrecks, Camp, Chemistry, Creepy, Director's Art, Drama, Enthusiastic, Good Voice Act, Hilarious, Kool Effects, Music Swings, Mystery, Scary, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Tacky, Tough, Trashy, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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24-Jun-2021


Goodnight, Mommy (2014)  Howl

Mother returns home after cosmetic surgery. She is burdened with twin boys, bandaged, tired, snarly and in need of recuperation. The boys are lonely and constantly interrupting her beauty rest which makes her upset and overreactive. The boys become convinced that the woman hiding under the bandages is not their mother. She's more violent than usual. The boys test her extensively and unbearably. They want to prove she's a fraud. "Misery" mayhem is top notch, direction has balls and the cast is deadly. 17-Jun-2021

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Best In Foreign, Best In Horror, Brutal, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Director's Art, Drama, Foreign, Funny, Sort of, Good Idea, Great Acting, Horror, Mystery, Scary, Slow, Suspense, Thriller, Tough, Violent, Weird, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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17-Jun-2021


Devil-Doll, The (1936) Woof

Escaped prisoner hitches a ride with a dying scientist who wants to make it home so he and his wife can shrink people to change the world. The protagonist just wants to avenge the men who set him up and gain his daughter's respect. The escapees make it to the wife's cottage. A frightfully wonderful Rafaela Ottiano plays the faithful wife who has maintained his experiments and awaited his arrival. They want to shrink people so they can consume less and help the environment. It starts with dogs, jumps to lowly humans and precipitates into people you want canceled. Lionel Barrymore is top notch as the set-up guy lucking into revenge. The dolls have brilliant moments and shoddy ones. The dolls are a cameo to the story of a man that has to become a woman to safeguard his family and prove his innocence. 24-May-2021

Tags: 1930s, Accidental Watch, Camp, Chemistry, Crapfun, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director's Achievement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Funny, Horror, Mystery, Relationships, Revenge, Scary, Star Watt, Suspense, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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24-May-2021


Housemaid, The (2010) Woof

Shuttered young woman accepts a job caring for a very well established family. Wife is made of plastic things and pregnant with twins. She believes her silent brute won't cheat on her because she's the perfect wife having miracle twins. "A man does not cheat on perfection." That is her motto and her curse. The eldest child is a delightful package. She is brave to say what's on her mind and sorry if it offends. A matriarch of servitude is the expert of the house, teaching the young woman how back breaking and useless it is making rich people happy. She is Mrs. Danvers, respectfully. Plotting, conniving, avenging, infiltrating and non-stop hurting to become like part of the family. Daddy is a self-absorbed god. Maid is a sexual magnet. An imperfect powerless naif to be completely his. The mother of the house is an awesome witch ready to set fire to anything that brings shame to their name. The scandal turns ingratiating maid into a hostile. The women cancel her for breaching family code... " you don't steal sperm from family gods that you are serving without asking the women first. Revenge is awesome. 10-May-2021

Tags: 2010s, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director's Art, Drama, Elegance, Foreign, Funny, Sort of, Good Acting, Heart Writ, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Relationships, Revenge, Romance, Scary, Sexy, Star Watt, Subtle, Suspense, Sweet, Thriller, Twisty, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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10-May-2021


Blood Moon (2021) Arf

This is an almost horror classic because it built good character relationships but sidestepped showing us the horror. Most scares evolved from the predicament of the main characters which added some suspense but the director was afraid to delve into action. Too bad. We all missed out. 29-Mar-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Cultural, Drama, Heart Writ, Horror, Predictable, Relationships, Scary, Timid, Timid Effects, Words Spoke

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29-Mar-2021


Death Of Me (2020) Arf

A depiction of travel peril and the miscalculation of island culture and folklore. Liam is a ketchup bottle that Maggie Q knows how to squeeze. Their bond keeps the film alive until the mumbo jumbo takes over. 25-Jan-2021

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Good Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mystery, Over the Top, Scary, Silly, Timid, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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25-Jan-2021


Nobody Sleeps In The Woods Tonight (2020) Arf

Parents send their tech dependent children to nature camp to enforce the value of social interaction and gain survival skills. The bootcamp is a military wasteland. It splits them into teams and focuses on hikes, challenges and camaraderie to allow them to use the tech in their brains. You can also make friends. Good ensemble pulls you in as the movie keeps taking them out. It starts to hurt a little. The threat is a mess. We like our deformed bubblies with masks on and butch gear. It's yuck and impossible to look at. The pimply hillbilly troll backstory didn't help. It was preposterous. I withstood the gore and porn violence because of the cast, the kids, the representation, the dialogue, the awkwardness, the scared lesbian, the sexual limitations of tech sex, following natural reaction protocol and because they are us. The beast is in desperate need of a glam attack. It needs Jason's virility, Michael Myers' stamina and Freddy's humor and waist. They prepare us for death by tingling other parts of our body first. The monster was ick. 02-Dec-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Stomper, Brutal, Chemistry, Conspiracy Theory, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Director's Achievement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Foreign, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Acting, Good Idea, Gore, Heart Writ, Horror, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Over the Top, Preposterous, Relationships, Scary, Suspense, Thriller, Tough, Violent, Weird, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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02-Dec-2020


Knock, Knock (2015) Arf

Tik Tokkers go hunting and prey upon a super K dad all alone and stoned at home. The wife and their boys went to another location to await him as he finished a job so they can have a family celebration. The girls are mad-driven, sex hungry hot dogs whose destruction you wouldn't lose sleep over. Art makes them mad. They shred it and draw fat penises on it. They perform outrageous skits to make babies and horny daddies pay attention. They have no talent. They hate men. The reason the entire bottom half of the planet yells out daddy during sex is because it's the most familiar. Daddy K is at his squishiest and he rips good emotions from his gut. He applied his action stamina to sex and it was sexy. The torture is guaranteed and Keanu's reactions were spot-on. Eli Roth has mad ideas and his perception is inching closer to clarification. I would but I would get in trouble. 07-Nov-2020

Tags: 2010s, Action Fun, Brutal, Camp, Chemistry, Comedy, Crapfun, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Insanity, Funny, Good Acting, Hot Swatch, Magnetism, Music Swings, Mystery, Over the Top, Pretty, Scary, Suspense, Thriller, Violent, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ w/Possibilities

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07-Nov-2020


Beneath Us (2019) Arf

Thrifty white suburbanites hire cute daddy Mexicans to complete house renovations. The offer of money is the fundamental key to keep the men in line and violence is the action that keeps them on the job. Cruelty compensates for a lack of psychological study but the message is loud and clear. Don't work for white people. 06-Nov-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Chemistry, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Drama, Good Acting, Horror, Hot Swatch, Mean Spirited, Mystery, Over the Top, Political Satire, Revenge, Scary, Suspense, Thriller, Violent, Words Spoke

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06-Nov-2020


His House (2020) Woof

Sudanese refugees receive asylum in England to a house that appears too good to be true. The film exposes the culture's frailties and their strengths by unrolling the past during the celebration of the present. Something is wrong with the house, the husband and the wife. I felt the spit from the hate and I was genuinely spooked. The backstory is the magnet that keeps the house scares from falling apart. Some the of visuals meandered, separated from the backbone and made little sense but the writing kept it in check. The director is exploring, Sope Dirisu is grinding and the reach for excellence is pretty close. 03-Nov-2020

Tags: 2020s, Chemistry, Creepy, Cultural, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Funny, Good Acting, Good Idea, Heart Writ, History, Horror, Hot Swatch, Life, Music Swings, Mystery, Political, Relationships, Revenge, Scary, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Wit Snit, Words Spoke, Writ Tight

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03-Nov-2020


Bad Hair (2020) Arf

Girl gives in to the establishment of success and gets a weave. The essence of the owner lives in the hair and it has a thirst for blood. The film is campily set and perfectly cast, utilizing every 80s fashion tragedy to funny effect. Vanessa Williams arrives to chew scenery and she eats divinely. Elle Lorraine is the joke, the punchline and the effect. The knitting of the weave was excruciating and the hair sucking the blood flow from a dripping vagina was handy. 31-Oct-2020

Tags: 2020s, Accidental Watch, Action Fun, Camp, Comedy, Crapfun, Cute, Daddy Squish, Director Experiment, Enthusiastic, Funny, Gay Swatch, Good Idea, Horror, Hot Swatch, Music Swings, Scary, Star Watt, Stupid Funny, Suspense, Tacky, Violent, Wit Crack, Wit Snit, Writ w/Possibilities

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31-Oct-2020


Thing, The (2011) Woof

The prequel follows Carpenter's roadmap to the letter. It doesn't interrupt and it doesn't reinvent. Its purpose is to continue. The difference it serves is a stunning CGI monster that places the film in the sci-fi horror fun club. 29-Oct-2020

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Action, Action Fun, Brutal, Creepy, Daddy Squish, Director Movement, Drama, Enthusiastic, Gory, Horror, Kool Effects, Music Swings, Prequel, Scary, SciFi, Sentimental, Star Watt, Suspense, Tough, Violent, Writ Tight

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29-Oct-2020




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