All Posts Tagged as 'Weird'

In December 2019, Hasan Minhaj gave an interview to Vanity Fair, in which he rightfully claimed that men of color are judged by a harsher standard in Hollywood than their white coworkers when it comes to how they look. “You gotta have, like, the V-taper in your abs if you’re gonna be Asian,” whereas there was “this whole movement of approachable white dudes.” He was obviously correct and should have said it. He was also asked to rate Dax Shepard, who had previously called Minhaj a nine out of ten on a completely separate podcast episode of his show, Armchair Expert. (Who knows why!) Shepard, in Minhaj’s eyes, was not a nine. He was a “6.57.”

That interview is making the rounds again, for reasons that are mostly unclear, but can be chalked up to “Twitter is bored.” Concurrent to this renewed interest in Dax Shepard’s looks, the man went out and bought himself a very big truck. I’m not kidding, he literally bought a truck the size of a house. One could move their entire family into it, and then build a guest house in the back. By U.N. standards, it might even qualify as its own autonomous country, that’s how big this fucker is.

I am getting a head start on the winter holidays by drawing up an early gift list, but I am stuck on one recipient in particular. My boyfriend is generally handy and especially enjoys building fires, and he has expressed interest in chopping wood for the last few fires we’ve had. Great, I thought—I can get him a high-quality ax or hatchet for Christmas. But then I started thinking about the potential for injuries. I have anxiety and know it can skew my perception of things, so I’m trying to think it through rationally. My boyfriend is very aware of safety and risk assessments in daily life, but he’s also not the most spatially aware person. He can be clumsy by himself or with others, especially after a few drinks. He’s also never been trained in any kind of ax safety. I still think he’d be delighted by this present, and part of me wants to be convinced by that alone, but another part of me thinks that even having an ax around would kick my fear of accidental injury into permanent overdrive. Should I try to muscle through the anxiety or start looking for a different present? Or is there a compromise here that would satisfy both my fears and my desire to impress with a cool gift?

—Ax Anxiety

A group of researchers in Spain have been looking at how different regular activities affect your chances of catching the coronavirus, and there is some bad news: Walking the dog increases your odds of catching COVID by 78 percent.

I love to eat (ever since I got over my fear of eating). I tend to eat until I feel sick. Similar to how people test their alcohol consumption to see how much they can drink without puk­ing, I’ve tested how much food I can eat and still fuck. On nights I know I’m going to be having sex, of course I eat less, which is annoying but in the end it’s worth it, because you get to have sex and feel good and not bloated while having it. This — and the fact that you shaved for no reason — is why being flaked on sucks, especially for girls, because in antici­pation of hanging out, we ate just one piece of pizza instead of the regular four, and now it’s late and we’re hungry and we didn’t even get laid. Although not eating and then getting flaked on is still preferable to the times where we eat a shit­ load and then randomly get asked to hang out. This is most distressing because there is almost nothing in the world we wouldn’t drop to spend time with our crush. The only rea­son we will say no to a spontaneous hang is because it’s after dinner and we don’t feel hot. It will pain us to say no for this reason, but trust me, we will.

The bigger they are, the harder they fall. That also turns out to be true of the tiny.

Baby Yoda, who one year ago today cozied into the hearts of Star Wars fans with his bottomless eyes, fuzzy head, and adorable cooing, has invoked genuine social media wrath for last week's episode of The Mandalorian, in which the mystical infant remorselessly snacked on the eggs of an endangered galactic species.

Whether this is serious or silly depends, as Obi-Wan Kenobi would put it, on "a certain point of view."

In Chapter 10 of the Disney+ show, titled “The Passenger,” Pedro Pascal's bounty hunter agrees to ferry an amphibious alien woman known only as “Frog Lady” to a swampy distant world so she can fertilize her canister of eggs, which floated in the brine like peeled apricots. (Usually this show conjures memories of Boba Fett, but these called to mind boba tea.)

My husband and I (as well as our daughter, “Chloe”) moved to a new state about a year and a half ago. We live in an extremely White suburb that is surrounded by a large, non-White city. We wanted to live in the city, but the crime rate caused us to look elsewhere. As a result, everyone in our neighborhood is White. There are eight other children that live in our neighborhood that are around my daughter’s age (she’s 7). The first few months were great, and she was constantly going over to other kids’ houses to play or inviting them here. She was a little socially behind in our last town, so I was happy she had made friends. But then I started to notice that her friends were terribly racist, and after inviting the kids’ parents over for dinner … the parents are racist too. Not just microaggressions or an off-color joke (which would be bad enough by itself), but just full-on, blatant racism. Even my husband, who is from a small town that still has Klan activity, was shocked and appalled.

I don’t want my daughter spending time with these children. When the pandemic happened, we didn’t have to worry about it too much because no one was seeing anyone. But the neighborhood kids have started spending time together again (at a distance), and my daughter has been asking to go outside and play. The kids have also come and knocked on the door a few times asking for my daughter, but I made up an excuse. On the one hand, I don’t want to deprive my daughter of friends (she goes to an extremely small magnet school and isn’t really fitting in there, not to mention her classmates live 30-plus minutes away). On the other hand, I don’t want her to befriend racists! My daughter recently told me she had been feeling left out. What do I do?

—Not Raising a Racist

According to a bizarre article published on the Spiritual Science Research Foundation's website (which at the time of writing has since been taken down), an overwhelming majority of gay people are, apparently, possessed by some form of ghostly spirits — 85 percent, to be exact — and these spirits are the driving force behind our gayness.

"The main reason behind the gay orientation of some men is that they are possessed by female ghosts, and the female ghost in them is attracted to other men," the Spiritual Science Research Foundation wrote in its sham study, as reported by PinkNews.