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Summer House (2017-) WhimperUpgradeArf

Reunion 2. The Hannah/Kyle dispute was tucked away. Kyle is the middle aged version of her fiancee and the man of her wet dreams. Carl's hands spoke and touched everyone. He did the giant thing and they swooned. Lindsay spoke like a man and got appreciation. Luke smashed Hannah's face in the jelly jar and brought down the fourth wall of reality TV. The host pretended minimally to scoop it up. "No. Really. It's not, we're not, I'm not, none of us are... fake. Really." 08-May-2021
Reunion. Hannah cried at every word rhyming with Luke and puked at every reference to Kyle. Kyle busted his rubber bands and walked out. Luke is still apologizing for being horny. Host did not offer Carl's giant hands their own seat or their own questions. 30-Apr-2021
I had a doll like Kyle once. He was blonde, four feet tall with rippling muscles, and a thong. He could pop rubber bands with his biceps. I had my seven foot black GI Joe fuck the shit out of him every day. My mother noticed the cum stains on Kyle and made him disappear. Something akin to how Hannah feels. She admired him in the toy store window when she was a tot but her mother wouldn't buy him for her. Shush, honey, that's only for boys. She can't get her hands on him. He's so disgustingly dominant for a little dick. I want him! No, I don't! Luke what? If I were Ciara I would have gotten Carl fucked up, up my dress and convulsing to his giant hands by now. Next morning. Car screeches away. Who was that? Carl. He had business to take care of. Really? Lindsay. Not being self-conscious of what she's doing makes her a really bad actress. Happy married with children! 23-Apr-2021
Stephen found out the hard way that there is no pleasing a woman. Dude, they're cocaine and we're weed. Wear them out. 05-Feb-2021

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Cliche, Fake, Fatigue, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, Overcooked, Reality, Relationships, Shrill Act, Tacky, Weird

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09-May-2021


Chad (2021-) BitesEarly Exit

Nasim Pedrad plays a fourteen year old boy with cosmetic enhancements, a balding auntie wig that isn't glued to her neck and the swag of a girl whose sure she's going to get an "A" in drama. Her statement is overshadowed by how she feels about boys. She adds confusion to the sexual revolution. Had Pedrad cast a boy of her own heritage to be an example of how she wants her future to look like, she might have created some sweet art. 21-Apr-2021

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, Camp, Comedy, Creepy, Egotistical, Emasculating, Fake, Horror, Incomprehensible, Mean Spirited, Static, Tacky, Unfunny, Weird

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21-Apr-2021


Young Rock (2021-) No MoonsEarly Exit

The man has attention, revenge, fame, money, his family, more fame, more money and more power... The show's excuse is to promote Mr. Johnson as the next Republican leader in-charge by having him brag for 22 minutes. Does being a stereotype make him like everybody else? 23-Feb-2021

Tags: 2020s, Accident Watch, Brutal, Celebrity, Comedy, Discomfort, Early Exit, Egotistical, Fake, Insulting, Out of Place, Tired, Unfunny

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23-Feb-2021


Summer House (2017-) WhimperUpgrade

Dude, they're still alive! They're back with added color. They haven't grown one bit. That's fabulous. 05-Feb-2021
Every party is a cleanse for every dream that wont come true. 07-May-2020
Truth party games. Wow, they really work.

The girls are friends again until the next bout of horniness trumps it. 01-May-2020
The green giant has sexual dysfunction and old people getting it on, is sick. 23-Apr-2020
Had no idea there was clamor for more. It's back to the future where we get to see grandpappy hook-ups in real time. "Me too" is a charity, feminine wiles are an exaltation, closets are for sex not coming out, women love big things, men are horny and crass mugs that only hold intelligent conversations whilst on the hunt and remain stupid after they fox it. I have no idea what they represent but my generation is enthralled and disturbed. 13-Mar-2020
A band-aid of happy endings. 29-Jul-2019
The gay got replaced by a floaty and a scary virgin. The elders are not aging gracefully and the show has gone from being my chore radio to white noise. When you watch reality TV you get to experience the damage our parents wrought. 23-Jul-2019
- Supreme Ken Doll (Kyle) needs to explore why he prefers living in a blur
- Waiting is a virtue (Amanda) - only if you know what you're waiting for
- Lindsay realized that change only happens when you apply it to yourself. Good for her
- The salt (Danielle) was overtaken by hot peppers (twins)
- The inactive (Stephen) needs to divert his hostility towards his parents. They are the reason he can't move forward
- The blistering giant's (Carl) self awareness allows him to take from life easily 19-Jul-2019
In season two they added salt to mild, endowed the gay with a bitch rap and the desperation from separation (relationships/careers) was dialed up a notch. Stephen needs to accept his het counterpart like he'd like to be. If he's really a friend he would appreciate Carl's flamboyance and his disregard for what people think of him. Hotness attracts men. Hot shit spills over. Unless you only have eyes for him...that's a different problem. 15-Jul-2019
It does stereotype well. Twins are still annoying, blondes are vacant, the gay needs an apron, the ex-fatboy is out for revenge and the women still have no clue what's flashing in a man's face. The man knows. Mind boggling. I may become obsessed by it or immune. 12-Jul-2019

Tags: 2010s, Camp, Cliche, Fake, Fatigue, Fun Acting, Funny, Gay Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, Overcooked, Reality, Relationships, Shrill Act, Tacky, Weird

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05-Feb-2021


Emmy Awards (2020) BitesEarly Exit

Kimmel could have been cheaply portrayed by any muppet from Sesame Street and Anthony Anderson wouldn't have made Elmo take a knee for being inappropriately funnier than him. The comedy was Blue's Clues challenging and hostility safe. They found three drag queens to applaud for RuPaul as long as they were not in the same room. Everyone had observations as to how we can continue to give them a great life even though they suck up most of it. I tuned out as soon as the Queen Mother of Greed honored Madea for inspiring Drag Race. Really? Of course, I tuned back in for super daddy Succession and mama Zendaya. Maybe a little longer. People are angry because the rich keep celebrating things and doing nothing. Thanks for the sign but can you shove one less spoiled kid with a special price tag in my face? I'm not gay enough for Schitt's Creek, not butch enough for Killing Eve and not girl enough for Normal People. The show only confirms that I will see the end of the world. Congratulations, winners! 20-Sep-2020

Tags: 2020s, Abuse, Awards, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Cliche, Conspiracy Theory, Creepy, Drag, Fake, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch

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20-Sep-2020


Camp Getaway (2020-) No MoonsEarly Exit

It needs a serial killer. 13-May-2020

Tags: 2020s, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Discomfort, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Grating, Insulting, Juvenile, Out of Place, Reality, Relationships, Sexist, Shrill Act, Silly, Static, Tacky, Warbly

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13-May-2020


Too Hot To Handle (2020-) Bites

No sex games, stripper parties or porn stars performing anatomy tricks. No Casa De Amor with an hour free of rules to tempt anyone. A lame exercise in controlling the libido does not a better date candidate make and I have no idea what point it's trying to make. (The winner takes home about $12.00 after taxes.) 19-Apr-2020
The norm is hornier than I thought. Love Island Castaways land on Mt. Celibacy and are tortured into going straight. The women are boob jocks and the men prance around blowing bro bubbles. The understanding is that what an independent woman wants, is a servant. It's not daring or tacky, not willing to titillate on a channel that permits it and not willing to locate a winning politic. "Tom Holland future" is an eerie panty shredder, women are still reaching for the biggest/complicated things, unruly racism is itching closer to our faces and Jesus left because he couldn't stand them. 18-Apr-2020

Tags: 2020s, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Creepy, Cultural, Fake, Horror, Hot Swatch, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, No Chemistry, Reality, Sap, Shrill Act, Silly, Weird

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19-Apr-2020


Love Island (UK) (2015-) BitesUpgradeHowl

Men have invented a new derogatory language to upset women. What now? We can't ban every word... or can we? Nobody mentioned french toast, its the best (any foreigner with sweet tasting d...) 22-Feb-2020
Contestants get paid to be inappropriate to strangers. 16-Feb-2020
I misinterpreted its existence. We are judging cave dwellers hooking up in a modern habitat. Skinny jeans, man pillows, wrangling, snogging, heart rips, musical accents and an errattic ear...that's entertainment. It's a braincation. 16-Feb-2020
Boring in any language. 25-Aug-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accident Watch, Brutal, Camp, Cliche, Drama, Early Exit, Fake, Fatigue, Foreign, Funny, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Overcooked, Predictable, Psychological, Reality, Relationships, Sexy, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Suspense, Sweet, Tacky, Talk, Twisty, Unity, Weird, Wit Snit, Words Spoke

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22-Feb-2020


Little Mermaid Live, The (2019) Whimper

The detail I most remember from "The Little Mermaid," was how her hair moved. If you can't establish an artistic craft to convey that, the art is lost. She flew when she needed to swim.

My treasure list:

I haven't seen so much visible invisible wire since "I Love Lucy." Decorating them might have helped

The octaves were lower than the crowd cheer. Amplification was a problem

A hologram of the improbable fish might have sufficed instead of plastic muppets

Graham Philips proved a singing alpha as Auli'i Cravalho expressed hard work

John Stamos' cook was destined to fail even if he had done it in a thong

Shaggy was feeling the beat but something spooked him and he started whispering

You shouldn't stumble. Even a shark shows grace underwater

Having the cartoon enact emotions whilst the live mostly sang is lazy

The deed was cast. The commercial for a beloved classic was born because they knew that after this, we'd flee to the original material. Magic! 08-Nov-2019

Tags: 2010s, Abuse, Animate, Brutal, Camp, Classic, Cliche, Comic Book, Creepy, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fantasy, Fatigue, Hot Swatch, Juvenile, Maddening, Musical, No Acting, No Chemistry, Out of Place, Overcooked, Predictable, Sap, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Weird, Writ w/Possibilities

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08-Nov-2019


Superstore (2015-) Bites

It's ok. The next two had me eye rolling. 16-Oct-2019
Uh oh. The third episode on racism, made me laugh. 30-Sep-2019
Even though Ferrera and Feldman are super cute, the characters are super cocky with no discerning bulge to back them up. It integrates social media topics to appear cool but its view doesn't distinguish it. 29-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Comedy, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Hot Swatch, Hyper, Juvenile, Maddening, Overcooked, Predictable, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Unfunny, Writ For Short Attn Spans

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16-Oct-2019


I-Land, The (2019-) BitesEarly Exit

Unbearable characterization and no adept drivers washing ashore. Out. 27-Sep-2019
I'm on the third episode. The curiosity is minimal, actor attitude is on high alert for no apparent reason and the dialogue is banal. Only a driver, expert at U-turns, can save it. 24-Sep-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accidental Watch, Action, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Camp, Cliche, Conspiracy Theory, Crime Drama, Drama, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Fake, Fatigue, Incomprehensible, Juvenile, Maddening, Mystery, Overcooked, Repetitive, Sci-Fi, Shrill Act, Silly, Suspense, Talk, Tedium, Tired, Weird

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27-Sep-2019


Russian Doll (2019-) BitesEarly Exit

When Pinky Tuscadero introduced it we defied it. Their equality banner states that anyone can be boring. (I can't speak unidentifiable robot and it perturbed my lover.) 10-Mar-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accident Watch, Bad Acting, Bad Chemistry, Brutal, By the Numbers, Comedy, Cultural, Disappointment, Drama, Early Exit, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fantasy, Fatigue, From Another Planet, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, Maddening, Out of Place, Overcooked, Shrill Act, Silly, Tacky, Tedium, Tired, Weird

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10-Mar-2019


Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club (2019-) BitesEarly Exit

There is no more knowledge to be absorbed by watching these people. 05-Mar-2019
Lohan exhibited crazed unprofessionalism. 27-Feb-2019
They have a zero tolerance for violence but they don't punish anyone for it. How 2019.

"Ambassador" is rich code word for whore. The reason the pretties keep failing at their job is because they don't know that. 05-Feb-2019
Pretty enslaved to the rich for a buck. 17-Jan-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accident Watch, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Daddy Squish, Drama, Ear Prick, Early Exit, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Horror, Hot Swatch, Insulting, Juvenile, Maddening, Mean Spirited, Overcooked, Pretty, Repetitive, Shrill Act, Silly, Star Watt, Tacky, Tired, Travel, Weird

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05-Mar-2019


Lindsay Lohan's Beach Club After Show (2019) No Moons

An excuse to protect the brand, handhold oblivious sensitivity and bully the crap out of anyone with an opposing or enlightening opinion. Opinions assist our evolution. Accepting every type of sexuality doesn't mean we have to partake of it. We have trained the future generation to be weak and the world is now our parents. 28-Feb-2019

Tags: 2010s, Accident Watch, Cliche, Disappointment, Drama, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fantasy, Fatigue, Gay Swatch, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Juvenile, Maddening, Mean Spirited, Preachy, Tacky, Talk, Tedium, Tired, Weird

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28-Feb-2019


Boa vs. Python (2004) Bites

Made by environmentalists that insist that anything that moves or blinks is worth preserving even if it kills us. They hilariously plunder from Cameron's "Aliens" and every knockoff thereof. 04-Jan-2019

Tags: 2000s, Accident Watch, Action, Brutal, By the Numbers, Camp, Cliche, Comical FX, Conspiracy Theory, Eye Gouge, Fake, Fantasy, Fatigue, Funny, Horror, Incomprehensible, Insulting, Overcooked, Preachy, Predictable, Shrill Act, Silly, Squish Alert, Tacky

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04-Jan-2019




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