TV Posts Tagged as 'Real'
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Below Deck (2013-)
The charter was desperate for new art so they invited Deck Precious to play my number one nemesis. Daddy Snap (Lin) knows I'm not passing up a precious moment to see a favorite TV employee submit. Captain Daddy is realizing that Heather Stew may contain toxic ingredients. A gay stew is nothing without a head stew whispering sweet nothings into his ear. The producers asked Deck Robin Hood to get naked one more time and he refused. 24-Jan-2022
The charter was full of love. Rayna's rage on lack of respect was warranted. None of the heads demanded an explanation from Heather Stew. They had a trial without the accused being involved. Rayna stepped up and Stewie stepped down to kiss "new" Barbie stew ass. Deck Robin Hood didn't disappoint. He wore a thong, hoping something hard would latch onto it. Deck Robin has the ass of an 15 hour porpoise. Deck Precious couldn't deal. Not Bridgerton decided he can't stop looking. His ass is so pretty that only a black girl with rage issues can slam it... or Captain Daddy. Deck Robin Hood tried on all types of hoods for me. How did he know? Deck Robin and Stewie got engaged. Captain Daddy promises to eat some ass next week, if all doesn't go well. I hope Deck Robin Hood fucks up. 17-Jan-2022
Eye rolling is what gets black people fired. 11-Jan-2022
Jaws continued onboard to be negated timely food dosages and to receive catty snares from her own charter. Nobody appreciated that she was wired shut to get rid of the ugly fat that turns off prospective husbands. Heather Stew apologized to Rayna Rage for using the n-word that is so popular amongst black people. Rayna accepted the apology only to rage later on. She also pondered why white people stereotyped black people after five rages. Stewie pretended gays aren't devious whores by acting like one. Rayna Rage blew up her love triangle by inviting Stewie to watch her fuck Deck Robin Hood. Deck Robin Hood has an intoxicating fish baby smell. Rayna Rage's pussy beat one tiny white boy dick to the fishbone. The crew left the boat so Captain Daddy could get blown privately. Deck Precious got spooked by a spider, landed on my lap and proved all things are possible. Mooooah! 04-Jan-2022
It was a Jaw Charter. What Reagan did to Nancy to stop her from accidentally sucking spy dick. That's why she was so thin. It was a charter with no sense. Lockjaw was treated like every child with a handicap. Last. Captain Daddy pretended to be mad at Deck Precious when he stood up for his lazy blackx crew. Stew Poppins booked when she realized she was normal. Nobody cares why you have lockjaw (wink, wink, men) we just care to watch you choke. 20-Dec-2021
An incest charter made it onboard. Daughter saw daddy's massive dick and thought that exposing her boobs constantly would up her inheritance. Men of other species do not flirt with blackx females unless they're ready to TNT their hole. She will fuck you up, otherwise. I know this for a fact. Nothing is a joke to Rayna Rage. She hurt uncle Eddie. I'm surprised she made it ashore with the lost footage intact. The only thing that would stop Stewie from meddling in an employee's mental heath business, is a big dick in his mouth. Can somebody please get Chef Loops drunk? I can eat her food at McDonalds. Get loops, bitch! Did Captain Daddy add fruit to his breakfast rocks? 13-Dec-2021
A tit charter was so infectious that it reminded Captain Daddy how much he likes Chef Loops' food. Chemistry. Eddie was so upset by his crew's performance that he beat them with rubber toys. A second blackx has been accused of being slow by a professional. Depressed people shouldn't be allowed to work on sexy boats. Stewie is still trying to stir trouble. Stew Heather doesn't know that no-nonsense tyranny equates employment withdrawal. No bountiful cheeks were served with dinner. Next week, Robin Hood. Please. 07-Dec-2021
Richie Rich threw it in every poor boy's face that money rocks. The succubus complained that Captain Daddy and her husband paid more attention to their lobsters than her. Deck Not Bridgerton is so deprived of love that he confused depressive stew whines as romantic. Stewie wasted his time obsessing over and judging the depressive one. The deck crew kept depositing plastic into the water. Heather Stew ran out of tongs. Celebrating the 80's is a way of reminding old people they sucked. Deck Robin Hood proved his masculinity by flirting with unavailable females, getting naked, tonguing Stewie and making Eddie sexually frustrated. Soft little pillows waiting for comfort. Eddie was saved from switching teams when his hair caught on fire. Sigh. Does this mean his children will be bald? Rayna Rage delighted at seeing soft little pillows prove himself a drunken sexual liar. Bitch recorded it. 30-Nov-2021
Stewie became the poster boy for gay marriage by declaring that all children are gross. Someone needs to assure Eddie that some gay fucks are like vaccines. Bridgerton not. We bow to Rayna of controlled rage. All the pretty birds flocked to deck Robin Hood. One of Richie Rich's succubus "fake followed" Captain Daddy to his quarters. She came with dinner. Fucking slit. 23-Nov-2021
S9E4. A pig charter were doing a bang-up job humiliating themselves with liquor and inconsequential shit until Captain Daddy told them to cut it out. They needed parental discipline. Go figure. Rayna made out with Deck Robin Hood. Deck Robin got promoted. Rayna did not like it when he insinuated she shut her mouth and do better work. It made Rayna Rage hop out of the closet. Stewie must have smelt available dick onboard because he stepped up. Rayna made out with Stewie and Robin to prove a future point. "He's gay. I knew it!" 19-Nov-2021
S9E1. The crew does everything to fuck up a charter of black female Republicans. Captain Howdy fills in for Captain Daddy. Chef Loops is still serving nonsense along with great food. Second Stew Stewie sucked at his job and accused the Republicans of threatening him with violence. The boys invented a "Hoe" song to honor Lady Deck. Heather Stew "cunt be bothered" serving the rich's every whim. Deck Bridgerton needs to keep quiet and take his shirt off. Rayna needs to do the dishes and not complain. Eddie squishes mightiest when he's pining for daddy. 17-Nov-2021
Below Deck (2013-)
Deck Toon returns to kick the soccer ball (Mariah) all the way into a charter guest room. He later opined to Rob that it would probably be healthier if he switched to softball which made the "deck in waiting" cream his pants. Congratulations, Izzy. 26-Jan-2021
Deck Nick Toon found that the easiest way to dump a banged out chick is to get the Chef drunk. Poor Mariah. Chef Loops was instantaneously diagnosed as an alcoholic because she told the truth. Casual drinkers can be falling down drunk and lie. Deck Rob is pining for Deck Toons and Deck Toons likes it. Cue drunk Chef Loops cursing them out. 19-Jan-2021
S8E11. Chef Loops is auditioning for SNL. The deckhand that looks like a TV Nick toon voiced by Boy George is shagging "Mariah Carey." That's what stupid hot looks like. Daddy Eddie. You won't find a better ham with great hair and the juiciest pig feet, ever. Get better Izzy. The Loops is cracking. The way "in" involves alcohol. Good luck, girl! If it works let new deck try it on deck Nick Toon. 18-Jan-2021
Eddie wanted to knock the foie gras out of Chef Loopy and I wanted to see that. Mariah still doesn't understand what the word try means. Izzy has a crush. Chef Loopy couldn't fake a nicety when the gays raved about her food. He was so emotional and she was so....who gives a fuck. Quack. She left because she didn't think "they" deserved 8 of her courses. Quack. There's hope, Izzy. 21-Dec-2020
Below Deck (2013-)
You'd think I would hate a gay charter that offered to eat Eddie before I was even finished with the crook of his back but I didn't. With the best dicks behind them the guests lounged on good food and company and I respect that. The chef didn't succumb to dick power and lowered her vagina expectations to a career. Her food looked so delicious that Izzy wondered how she must showcase in bed. Of course, she's straight. Listen, if you can convince Deck Ratched you can convince Chef Loopy. Give it a try. Somebody finally served the Captain a meal that didn't look like dog biscuits with low-fat milk. Baby Mariah is still complaining of having to work for a living. New deck and boring pretty deck played at lady conquerors but Eddie is the only one that knows how to corral a bitch. You go, daddy! Oh, except the Captain of course. The chief stew needs to loosen up or get rid of the outer layer of grease that surrounds her caricature. 21-Dec-2020
Mariah poisoned the crew with her ineptitude and her inability to understand. Chef turned green like Elphaba from Wicked and displayed a sudden allergic reaction to water. It looks like only a wizard can control that witch. Lazy CA twink got gangfucked out of the water. I know exactly where to start eating Eddie. The tip of his earlobe. If James is waiting for a female to make him sexually comfortable, he's not bi. Captain was disrespected. James needs to service him. Take a break Eddie. Why are women still crying at work? 15-Dec-2020
The Captain pimped himself out. The charter didn't die. I know exactly where to start eating Eddie. The California twink must spend a lot of time at senior centers. The one who isn't Hannah is still not Hannah. Mariah can only get her notes right. It looks like sunshine may be overcast and no longer in the running for a James hip break. 08-Dec-2020
The charter of the almost dead. Chief Stew sounds like Hannah but she's not Hannah. Watching Elizabeth work is like watching Mariah Carey exert herself. Izzy confirmed that James is a dick breaker. The almost dead charter confused expensive crab for one of their dick mates. Dudes, you're old and your palettes are dead, stop pretending. Did squishy Eddie serve the camera some bountiful hairy turkey ass? I Love it. 01-Dec-2020
The female crew invalidated gender equality by crying over missing clothing, exhaustion and other girly things. Give them some Boost. It pissed Izzy right out of there. She went deck crew. She knows how to man up. A charter of younglings dominated the boat and the elder younglings (crew) sort of resented them. The charter was immobile, always hungry, always full with a deep appreciation for good food. Why are we lobbing golf balls into the ocean? Pretty rich boy's hormones couldn't contain themselves and roared about James beauty and compared him to Tom Hardy. James was flattered to be Tom Hardy's butt. Girlfriend couldn't take the flirtation and walked away. Horny charter cared very little about girlfriend same sex annoyances. Woke means sex with anyone. Yes, girl, the bro thing is a rouge. He's rich, you want it, shut up. Chef Rachel made me hungry. Shane wants to be a fish. He always wants to shed clothing and swim. Naked sushi is disgusting. Daddy Cap enjoying babies running wild was cute. You want to take a bite out of Eddie but where to start? James became depressed when his crewmates refused to understand his accent and when he realized they took their jobs seriously. He had a discussion with Izzy that seemed chopped up but I think I got the gist. He was horny. Francesca would do. Izzy claimed he was horny for any hole including the pretty charter. "He'd need a hip replacement," he countered. I didn't get if he meant his ass was Hardy (breaks dicks) or his dick was powerful. The tip suggested he should have tried anyway. 24-Jun-2020
Below Deck (2013-)
Idiot gays make female crew tired. Cis female "hangers on" of idiot gays are incomprehensible. James glitters in shiny underwear. Shane is a CA organic lazy head. Captain Lee is guaranteed a free blowjob at every port. Eddie is squishier. I like Rachel's style. Izzy needs to loosen up and be more cunty. Elizabeth. I don't remember her. Francesca needs Hannah's medicine. 09-Nov-2020
A captain in charge, flirtations and sexual innuendos aplenty, women have the right to be stupid and the men have the right to be hot. It's Below Deck. The first charter consisted of gays and friends from cloney island. I classified them as tasteless but the captain justified them as idiots. 03-Nov-2020
Boys versus girls. Nobody wins and the only common denominator that keeps men and women connecting is sex, otherwise, they hate each other. Good job social media. 04-Feb-2020
Scary horny privileged white women and picking on the black girl because her service on tables and in bed are not up to standard. 04-Dec-2019
A Flintstone marriage proposal was celebrated hypocritically, the Captain won a big dick contest, the camera lingered lovingly on Brian's bulge and the wit was stabby. 05-Nov-2019
The Flintstones entertained toxic female desperation. 21-Oct-2019
The Flintstones rocked the boat as the clones/guests pissed on it. 17-Jan-2019
The only thing that can save this ship is if they hire a "Florence" type from "The Jeffersons" to tell the entitled rich folks to "fuck off." 30-Nov-2017
For those questioning what sexual harassment consists of, last night's episode outlines it perfectly. Shame on you Kate for empowering the privileged creeps and hinting that a "real" yachtee would play along. Protecting your staff should always be the first priority. "Yachtee" must be code word for compliant to braggart perversion. 01-Nov-2017
Katie's wit. The Captain. Eye candy. Fun. 21-Oct-2015
90 Day Fiance: The Other Way (2019-)
Ariela's mother was made to eat raw meat combined with butter. I'm astounded she made it to the club to watch her future in-law scam gyrate with his ex.
Melyza's mother also noticed Tim got fat and slipped him the evil eye for cheating.
Jihoon pulled out the mama money card to keep his meal ticket beside. 04-Aug-2020
American gay antennae does not understand why the land of twinks is rife with uncleanliness and lack of public affection. Hate is why and violent death is how. In America I'd give the pro the benefit of the doubt. I wouldn't want anyone to know I was with him either.
Brittany is practicing Dr. Phil in the land of I Hate Women. No man is that extraordinary and no woman is that much man.
Jenny and Sumit are comic relief. She's in need and he aint helping.
Ariela, 28 and Biniyam, 29 = 0 life.
American mothers are very knowledgeable and kickass but they refuse to convince their children that they are making cataclysmic mistakes.
Did Melyza reject Tim because he got fat?
Deavan and Jihoon. We will never see the end of this fight because he swindled her and korean mother is ferocious. 28-Jul-2020
Brittany doth protest too much. Her five minutes turned into a cruel reality that was subsided by fake fantasy dick. Brittany needs to leave, ASAP. Her disrespect has been hampered by a jedi and his force. She flaunts a grand lie like an unnecessary representative.
Mother korean needs to talk to my mother to succently fulfill preposterous male/female resolutions.
The gays were quick to cash-in on their purchase. Somebody got to pay the rent and the other got latin twink ass. Woohoo!
Karens go international!
Karens are not racists! Horny maybe but not racist. It's a control thing.
If a woman tingles for the whiff of fraud, disrespect and an unidentified violent force, they don't deserve to be in charge.
I could quack on the gays but no lessons would be learned. Papa popped is latching onto the last gulp of youth that American twinks have deprived him. Even if it breaks his bank, his spirit and mental health, he will lap the boy in luxury like the classic fairy tales that ensnared women. "Even if I destroy his spirit, my desire for reciprocation is required because I'm an American! The contract is void when I tire of him or if he fucks my friends. No, he has no say. I request that he please show appreciation during any social media interactions regarding my leadership or I will rescind all positive recommendations." Mexican never sees family again. Humbug! (Kidding)
Why do women expect men to change but turn hostile when asked to reciprocate?
Muslim woman slammed that girl to the ground! (They say they they have no power.)
The idiocy hurts me.
It's all about control. They all have dwindling assets they need to cash in before their reality becomes dire. It's scary, demented and addictive. For the burden's sake, I hope a lot of it is fake. 04-Sep-2019
Below Deck: Mediterranean (2016-)
The guests were of the masterly type. A grunt called Hannah, Bugs Bunny. That's okay. Hannah called them assholes. Oysters made Hannah hop like a service animal for the rest of the charter.
Captain got dirty.
The rocket is about to land.
Pete knows how to eat and suck on meat bones.
Kiko kicks ass.
That's a fine pretty table, Bugs. 05-Jul-2020
There's a dickhand on board.
Hannah shut the base of an Ace, handled children like flopping fish and got pied in the face.
Captain pied crew members in their face.
The men denied, apologized and mind plotted... revenge.
A rocket was launched.
Kiko did his thing. 24-Jun-2020
Hannah frightened her employee.
Lara sought battle with Hannah by scary military code.
Chef Kiko. I'd lick his plates and nothing else.
The deckhands. Something you mechanically bull ride because you're wrecked.
Neither scientist or cis straight I be to recognize that Jessica is a rocket. (Don't explode.)
Don't call her sweetheart, sweetie or any words with calories. Call her daddy White.
Captain Sandy is commanding more than a boat. Good for her. 15-Jun-2020
Captain Sandy finally twirled her balls and her skirt. 25-Sep-2019
The Flintstones put aside shenanigans to celebrate hard work but only the certified kind. Gifted is out, snobbery is forever. 20-Jul-2019
Wet snouts all season. 12-Sep-2018
I guess its okay to present a woman with an unknown penis if it has vodka in it. 18-Jul-2018
The client reference sheet for food exemplifies how the rich can add waste to the environment. 13-Jun-2018
Rules and liability specifications are locked, there's room for us to guess which crew member will fuck up the hardest and the first clients were "Plantation Rich" (they think having money means they pay for enslavement.) 16-May-2018
Highlights include a lady captain and a lamentable pup, love-thrashed by a pocket siren that exhumes growls and sniffs from the male crew. Hannah quips her way through most of it but then succumbs to the lunacy that all are indulging in. Kate, your turn. 16-Aug-2017
It's everything the initial is yet augmented in the unbalanced crew department. The commander seems perplexed by his spiky helpmates and we shall be banqueted until our brains too become unhinged. It's a preferable fix to the housewives and it fulfills AHS: Asylum munchies. The hottest is the most baked. 30-Jun-2016
Married At First Sight (2014-)
Season Finale/Reunion. The doctor punched bluebeard, host daddy was a hormonal explosion and the show followed my script to the letter. I felt sorry for the last married couple on earth as they endured the horrors of others' relationships. Austin, particularly looked sick. The show is getting very close to hosting Fear Factor editions but is having fun on it's way there. 25-Apr-2020
S10. It's been tough relating or tolerating this season.
The experts are sinking into quack territory.
Mandy finally got rid of Bluebeard (Zach.) Hooray!
Taylor and Brandon. He's just stalling until the next bout of insecurity hits so he can explode. Run, girl.
Meka and Michael. A man doesn't change...he pretends. Run, girl.
Jessica and Austin. He will say I love you as soon as you forgive his first business travel discrepancy.
Katie and Derek. He's privileged and she's insecure. Eek.
Giving everyone a lie detector test before the show would give the experts some cred and avoid giving us another inadmissible season. 27-Mar-2020
S7E6. Naivete about the experiment is no longer viable because the mice have been coached by previous seasons. It's the show's sanity at test because the mice are the new experts that will mold the show through its entirety. As each season passes and we tire of them, the couples will most likely end up swapping with each other (see season 5, alpha Ashley Petty deserved alpha Cody Knapek and Anthony deserved for Danielle to put him on a diet.) The premise will continue to work because God's plan brought them together. The queens giving men sex, before and after catastrophe struck, was downright professional. 23-Oct-2019
Uh Oh. S6. Shawniece and Jephte made adorability joyous. May they enjoy an 88. 20-Oct-2019
S5E7. Fuck the experts, listen to the dogs! 05-Oct-2019
Experts encouraging couples to overlook red flags in a marriage because pretense defeats how a person feels. 21-Sep-2019
Top Chef (2006-)
What Are the Consequences of Eating Rare Meat?
I think it's irresponsible to constantly introduce steak tartare when science has considered raw meat unsafe. 17-Jan-2019
Food snobbery in the way of competition that slays and remains because of great editing, interesting characters and incomparable judges. 03-Jan-2017
Million Dollar Listing NY (2012 - )
Gaybies and greed. Out. 08-Sep-2018
Kudos to Frederich for introducing gentrification to ego and greed. Steve Gold keeps the heart pumping as well as the mind confused. Luis is WTF and daddy Ryan's beard doesn't let us enjoy his emote as much, because art needs a blank canvas to fully appreciate. 17-Sep-2017
They kind of broke my heart at end of this season, esp. Luis. 15-Jul-2016
I can find myself quitting them at any moment and not in the next. Someone has to document how greed and overindulgence will eradicate the classic in NY and this is historical proof. No one is redeemable because they all work against the state. Who do the rich think is going to serve them when they drive all the poor away? They will suffer attempting self implementation. There's only one favorite amongst the amusing sock puppets and his name is Ryan. 13-May-2016
Handmaid's Tale, The (2017-)
The choice was maddening but the show was brilliant. 11-Jul-2018
I felt every contraction. 28-Jun-2018
It seems every time a suppressed group is emblazoned for freedom and equality the misinterpretation of spirituality return us to the beginning. Harrowing. 21-Jun-2018
Season 2, episode 7 allowed all the women performers to convey loveliness and unity in their art. 14-Jun-2018
Masterpiece of prick, torment and durability. The performers harmonize beautifully engaging us in the despicable and the championed. Moss resounds hardest because her character's zest for life is dictated intensively. 19-Jun-2017
This is what happens when you take the word of the "book" seriously without weighing the morality or the consequences of a privileged and archaic life. Elizabeth Moss heroically endures much so we can understand the sacrifices the underprivileged must make to survive in a new world that constantly spits in her face, without exploitation. It's scary because even though its fiction, it fits our current mentality like a glove. 16-Jun-2017
Simulated prep of a one night stand with cameras, awkwardness and stalling tactics. Everything is squishier laying down. 19-Jun-2018
Jersey Shore Family Vacation (2018-)
They are celebrating the best time of their lives (the past) and allowing us to see that punishment (today) is the basis for that kind of sentiment (low standards.) 22-Apr-2018
Relative Success with Tabatha (2018-)
A no bullcrap power woman observes, advises and rips into family business. Tabatha is sound, intelligent and fabulous. The production assures that we understand and familiarize ourselves with strangers so we can also judge. I wish to clone Tabatha so I can sic that "snap" on bubble people. 24-Mar-2018
RuPaul's Drag Race All Stars (2012 -2018)
In a season where Ru gave the all-stars every opportunity to strut, they repaid the legend by teetering. Shangela's hilarious lip synch catapulted the show to greatness and the girls finally gave us some soul searching but the next group needs to singe to continue mama's legacy.
The ladies seem in dire need of art inspiration. SNL history has a roster of the most empowering females to celebrate and emulate. Just the thought of them and the characters they slayed should elicit a laugh. 10-Mar-2018
The battle was worth saluting. 24-Jun-2017
Snatch Game is allowing us to ponder. Do the girls not emulate our current divas because there is no access or because such legends are not calling out to them? That's not fun. Our divas need to cause more of a ruckus. 29-Apr-2017
My original review has been changed to reflect that in fun you can disrespect a group and commit error with one unfortunate word. 29-Mar-2017
Reunion. Thank you. 03-Nov-2016
I was a little dismayed how little spectacle and celebration was involved in crowning this year's All-Star. It seemed rushed and gagged of money. Couldn't a club donate their space to the great Ru-Paul and allow her ladies to shine in the atmosphere that bore them? The lift to either cause wouldn't hurt and it would delight us. 14-Oct-2016
Congratulations Ru, you are still Queen of your domain. I met you once as you towered on a float in a NY Pride Parade. My buddy and I followed your float to the tip end of Christoper Street before a turn to disembark and traffic halted and locked you in place. You blessed everyone with a most rousing lip synch and array of dance work. During the storm you created you acknowledged and waved and I welcomed the rain that created a rainbow for the rest of my pride fest. You defined a moment that was never topped. Class act.
The reason this show excels when other realities mimic is because the show and the pretense is in their drag. Drag is in the background of every gay man whether you care to acknowledge it or not. Every contour, shading and hardware is depicting the hardships and the joys our lifestyle can drop. They enact it in exaggeration and a softer guise so the hurt doesn't cut so deep and the joy is longstanding. After much schooling and thought, I respectfully acknowledge that they are more than an accessory, they shine brighter, work harder and fight butchier.
All-stars entertainment value is never in question because even when things are not progressing how we'd prefer you don't stop brandishing or humanizing yourselves.
I was gunning for Alyssa to win because of her insuppressible showmanship, vulnerable heartbreak and cuntilicious coating. Whoever wins the crown, Alyssa can be assured that she won something more palpable, our hearts.
If Ru wanted to create a gasm she'd bring back all her girls and eliminate them one by one along the time allotted as she would have seen fit. Just curious to know what her choices would have been. 07-Oct-2016
My Lottery Dream Home (2015-)
David makes it all better. Pleasant is as pleasant does. 08-Mar-2018